vulgarmaw

[vulgarmaw]

*starts tapdancing in your inbox (it echoes through your entire blog)*

*takes a long slow drag of a lit celery stick*

[vulgarmaw]

Que'd this in solidarity.

was trying to queue something because, well, I don't wanna spam in everyone's faces so I queue about half the things I'd reblog

but it keeps giving me an error so I went to check-

is there a queue limit cuz I think I reached it ^v^"

[vulgarmaw]

Shh

Incognito scissoring

[vulgarmaw]

Hai *squiggles your brain affectionately*

My HWAT?!?

[vulgarmaw]

So the real spidy sense was the flaming asexuals we found along the way.

Cheap sense

Like spidy sense, but for deals?

[vulgarmaw]

Cheap sense

Like spidy sense, but for deals?

[vulgarmaw]

Actually it would absolutely make sense for the fat character to have super speed. Like do you understand how many calories you'd burn running that fast?

They probably pack it on as much as possible just so they can run longer. I mean I would. I'm not running out of energy halfway through kicking your fatphobic ass.

I think the weirdest form of fatphobia I keep bumping into is writers suddenly becoming deeply concerned with physical realism when a fat character is involved even in contexts where everybody's physical capabilities are explicitly bullshit. "They're fat, it wouldn't make sense for them to have super speed" and it would make sense for the 98-pound twink to be able to run at Mach Fuck? That's something skinny people can do in real life, is it?

[vulgarmaw]

Everyday is 9/11 when you're a pilot who's bad at their job.

[vulgarmaw]

I was very openly mocking the one person who rebloged you. Obviously you personally can do no wrong.

Maybe it's because I'm too ace and too poly at the same time but like. I don't really get why people don't flirt with their friends?

Like, why is that not a normal thing for friends to do with each other?

You're friends! You have an emotional connection! It's fun to fluster people consensually, and both of you know each other well enough to pull it off!

And like. You're afraid you might catch feelings if you do that? Well then I have something to tell you because you might already have those and you two are gonna need to figure that out anyway

Flirting! Do it with your friends

[vulgarmaw]

Sorry, you can only flirt with people in the designated flirting zone. Fucking dumbass.

Maybe it's because I'm too ace and too poly at the same time but like. I don't really get why people don't flirt with their friends?

Like, why is that not a normal thing for friends to do with each other?

You're friends! You have an emotional connection! It's fun to fluster people consensually, and both of you know each other well enough to pull it off!

And like. You're afraid you might catch feelings if you do that? Well then I have something to tell you because you might already have those and you two are gonna need to figure that out anyway

Flirting! Do it with your friends

[vulgarmaw]

Me:"About the butter pussy slug?"

Wife, with no context whatsoever: "I don't like the fish."

Like who fucking says that?

[vulgarmaw]

Pood gost OP

oh shit i'm behind on my posting quota for this month

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

mallon of gilk

[vulgarmaw]

You're telling me an egg fried that rice?

[vulgarmaw]

This reminds me of the word finagle. What an amazing word.

Studying older texts messes with your vocabulary. I was petting a fluffy dog and I said to the owner, “apologies for molesting your dog.” and my sister was like “you can’t say that” and I literally had no clue why. Like in my mind, “to molest” means to bother/harass. I FORGOT ABOUT THE FAR MORE COMMON USAGE.

[vulgarmaw]

Skill issue.

imagine how much more fucked up the history of the world would be if eating someone's brains reliably conferred on you their memory and knowledge

[vulgarmaw]

Every now and then someone reinvents reincarnation all over again.

imagine how much more fucked up the history of the world would be if eating someone's brains reliably conferred on you their memory and knowledge

[vulgarmaw]

Why do tits get put in prison so often? What crimes did they commit?