vulnerasti-cor-meum

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he's going abroad for three months. now what. now what. what does that mean for me?

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renewable energy such as regret or a burning star

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THE GOOD PLACE (2016–2020) S03E02 | The Brainy Bunch

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War of the lamb, Brian Zahnd

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Maxfield Parrish (1870-1966) - A Venetian Night's Entertainment

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embarrassment has good bones

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Gustav Klimt, The Park, 1910

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1992 Palladium Dress for Dior Collection

Gianfranco Ferré

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Cast Shadows, 1891 by  Émile Friant (French, 1863–1932)

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dad visits in about three weeks

still feeling dread and terror all day for the second or so consecutive day

it's only early Tues. evening and the week has been so unbearably long so monstrously long. someone save me please.

My dad visits in about four weeks. and I'm freaking out. I don't have a plan yet about confronting my mother (or as my beloved put it, "clarifying [my] relationship with [my] mother". I asked a second-degree friend if I could be his paying housemate but he said he has no room, but he'd ask a friend of his who is potentially seeking a renter. I'm going to ask another friend of mine over dinner this Friday. I'm so frightened that I'll lose my nerve (just like I did last year when I planned to come out to my mom and then lost my nerve twice and couldn't do it). I've been nauseated all day (perhaps also b/c I've been eating empty calories all day). the thought of maternal rejection is such a hideous prospect.

My shrink did say, to paraphrase, "Well, she already knows you're gay, right? (right, because I've heard her pray about it) so it's not like your relationship will change" but idk if that's the case. having a gay son being an elephant in the room may well be a diff dynamic than having an unrepentantly gay son who by the way is dating someone who's (1) not also Christian (not that my mother thinks a gay person can be Christian anyway; homosexuality is the work of the devil, remember, is what she thinks) and (2) major age gap (I'm May. he's December). but mother I love him.

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????? I dreamed about this image last night what

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I actually know a long-term recovering alcoholic gay man just like the protagonist and I'd love to rec this book to him but idk anything about alcoholism. is reading portrayals of alcoholism a potential trigger

blind picked-up kaveh akbar's Martyr! and I'll huh it's about a gay man

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If the rationalists are allowed to call themselves that then I'm starting a cult/thinktank/philosophy called the yummy food eater club where we're only allowed to eat dirt and pebbles

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Pam Isherwood, Stop Clause, 28 March, Whitehall, London (9 January 1988)

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henry wu

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Commentary is always latent with unendingness. The breeding of exegesis out of previous exegesis is menacing in so far as it occludes the primary text. The proliferation of interpretation threatens to bury the poem. Yet it is via the hermeneutic process of better understanding that the text is ensured survivance. I see no ready way out of this contradiction.

George Steiner, Antigones