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vvvoxal · 8 days

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Insufferable (7/7)

At long last, Vox's suffering is complete! (For this fic anyway lol, I'll probably torture him again later). Enjoy the final chapter.

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Wavs: 1

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“Are you sure you’re going to be alright, Amorcito?” Val asked, stroking Vox’s arm.

Vox shook his head. “You can’t come along, Val. It would make negotiations even more tense, and that’s the last thing we need.”

“Do you want me to…” Velvette started.

Vox shook his head, then winced from the pain of moving it. “Someone needs to keep running the company while I’m gone.” He sighed. “You’ve done well so far, just… heh’tzzzzch! Just keep it up. I’ll be fi… hi… hih… hih’TZZZZZSCHT! I’ll survive.”

“Alright, but if you’re not back by tomorrow I’m coming after you!” Velvette said, her expression intimidating despite her stature.

Vox chuckled. “Deal,” he said, walking out the door.

The walk to the hotel was every bit as awful as Vox had expected. To make matters worse, it seemed the trees had chosen today to release all their fucking pollen. There were several times Vox had to hypnotize someone who witnessed his disheveled state, and having Alastor go through his body to do the hypnotizing was a thoroughly unpleasant feeling, like someone crawling under his skin and pushing all his organs out. He may have wanted Alastor inside him, but not like this.

By the time he finally arrived at the hotel, Vox was an absolute mess. His suit was wrinkled from doubling over with the more intense sneezes, his screen was dull, his movements were slow and weak, and he was pretty sure his voice was shot too, if he still had his voice at all.

Charlie did a double take at the door, closing it in shock for a moment before she finally left it open long enough for Vox to speak.

“Greetings, your Highness. I… Hhhhh’tzzzzzmp!” Charlie raised an eyebrow as the sparks flew. Velvette had finally managed to teach Vox how to use a handkerchief, but that didn’t stop the old television in the lobby from shorting out. “Excuse me,” he said, trying desperately to find his usual charm and professionalism.

“Bless you, Mr. Vox. What are you doing here?” Charlie asked, staring at him with pure confusion.

“Please, call me Vox.”

“Yeah, what are you doing here?” Vaggie repeated, staring with more hostility than confusion.

Vox sighed. There was no point tiptoeing around it, especially since he didn’t know how long his voice would last. But he was a businessman, he knew the importance of selling to his audience, so taking the right angle was important here. Vaggie would see through any bullshit—the main thing that mattered to her was honesty. And Charlie? The bleeding heart was so big on her sleeve it’s a wonder her arm hadn’t fallen off. He died a little inside as he realized what he had to do. Loathe as he was to appear weak, there was no doubt that groveling and being pathetic was the best way to tug on those heartstrings.

“As you may have noticed, I’m not exactly in the best state at the moment,” he began, breaking into a coughing fit that he let drag on for longer than it would have naturally.

“I can see that, but uh… why come here?”

“Well, uh, it’s kind of a long story, but I am looking specifically for your heh… heh…heh…heh…heh’TZZZZZZSH! For your help, Princess.” As he dragged out the buildup a little longer, he wondered whether this was the right move. Would Charlie be grossed out by his illness? But the sympathetic look on her face told her all he needed. After a moment, her face shifted to one of realization.

“Oh! Alastor said to expect a visitor. Someone who wanted to try redemption? Was that you?”

God fucking dammit. Of course Alastor would have said something like that. Now he had to pretend to be caught up in Charlie’s hippie nonsense… on second thought, maybe not. The doubtful glare from Vaggie reminded him that even the smoothest of lies wouldn’t work. And it’s not like Alastor would step in to help him with hypnosis here. Vox was saved from his musings by a wracking cough, one so awful on its own that there was no need for exaggeration.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! Here you are standing in the doorway, when you must feel terrible! Please, come in! Can I get you some water?” Vox nodded weakly as he stumbled in. Technically he probably could have walked better than that, but there was no point spending the effort when appearing weak gave him an advantage. Vaggie gave him the side-eye. It was clear she wasn’t 100% convinced. He took a long gulp of the water, disappointed that it did nothing to soothe his throat. Maybe Charlie would get him some tea later. He wouldn’t be the one to ask, though. He was already about to ask for a lot. Charlie opened her mouth to speak, but paused as Vox had an absolutely horrendous sneezing fit. He had thought it was bad on earth getting illness and allergies at the same time, but there was no doubt that it was far worse in hell. To add to his frustration, Charlie had a ridiculous determination to bless every single sneeze. Vox wanted to claw off his entire face, resisting the urge only because he lacked the energy.

After he was finally done sneezing, Vaggie broke the silence. “Alright, Vox. We know you didn’t come here just to look all gross and pathetic. What do you actually want?”

Vox frowned as he realized his voice was gone. Why now? Ugh. He deliberated for a moment, then smacked the side of his head, hoping to Satan it would work this time or he would look like even more of a fool. Thankfully, that seemed to have done the trick. “As you might have guessed, I’m sick.” Vaggie rolled her eyes at the obvious statement. “What you might not know is, Alastor did this.” He grimaced with the restraint it took to not curse his rival. “It was a targeted virus,” he said bitterly. “Not contagious,” he added as an afterthought upon seeing their concern.

The pair stared at him for a while. Charlie spoke up first. “You want me to… talk to Alastor?”

“Not quite. I already talked to Alastor. He agreed to… hi’tzzzch! He agreed to remove the virus if I do a favor for you. You decide the favor.” Charlie’s eyes opened wide in surprise and excitement, then she got a look of intense concentration as she tried to consider how to handle this power. Vaggie’s eyes narrowed, and it was clear to Vox that she saw through the power play here. Still, that wasn’t enough reason to refuse what could be a very advantageous deal. The hum of fans echoed through the room as Vox awaited his fate.

“It starts with sorry,” Charlie said.

Vox raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

“She said it starts with sorry, not that it ends with sorry, dumbass,” Vaggie corrected.

“Be nice, Vaggie, we have to assume he’s trying. But yes, you make a good point. You can’t just say sorry, you also have to not do those things in the future.” Vox opened his mouth and Charlie quickly added, “Before you go claiming that that’s not one favor, keep in mind that… bless you! Bless you again! Oh dear, bless you!” She realized Vox hadn’t been opening his mouth to protest after all. After a few minutes of sneezing and blessing (seriously, did this girl never get tired?), Charlie resumed her speech. “Uh, as I was saying, this can be defined as the following single favor: repent.” Vox thought he caught a glimpse of Charlie’s horns peeking out on that last word and he gave a shudder which he managed to pass off as a shiver. Pissing off the princess of hell definitely seemed like a bad idea.

“Right, um, uh, of course, Princess. Repent. Yeah, that makes sense.” He found himself stammering awkwardly as he grappled with the idea that Charlie could tear down everything he’d built. Could he refuse the deal and accept being sick forever? At Alastor’s mercy forever? No, that had to be worse than whatever Charlie would ask of him.

“What, afraid of a little redemption?” Vaggie asked, finally cracking a smile as she saw the fear he no longer had the energy to hide. “It was good enough for Sir Pentious, the demon you sent here to spy on us and then told to kill himself.”

Vox winced. That one really stung. But he knew it was deserved.

Angel walked into the living room and froze. “What the fuck is Vox doing here?” He glared at the TV demon. “Please tell me you didn’t bring Val.”

Vox shook his head, then cradled it in his hands as he felt the ensuing dizziness. Before he could speak, he found himself in another long sneezing fit. Angel’s expression gradually changed to one of amusement. It was rare to see the CEO so vulnerable. A nice change of pace.

“Vox here is trying his hand at redemption!” Charlie answered, beaming.

“Only because he wants to get out of being sick.” Vaggie amended, frowning.

“Redemption is redemption, even if the motive is less than perfect,” Charlie insisted.

Vox groaned, dreading this whole negotiation already. “Just tell me what you need me to do,” he said, the resignation in his voice even thicker than the congestion.

Angel strutted over, seeming to have gained a little more confidence from the whole situation. “How about you start with removing those cameras you put in my dressing room?”

“He WHAT?” Charlie asked, revealing her horns fully this time.

Vox tried to smooth down his suit as he thought this through. He’d never really cared for the cameras anyway - as much as he loved having eyes on everyone and exerting his control, he knew Angel Dust was Valentino’s plaything, and Vox would be lying if he said he wasn’t sometimes jealous of the attention. At the same time, he knew Val wouldn’t give up that power so easily. Vox thought back to the events earlier today. Wait, hadn’t Velvette seemed especially mad at Val? Maybe she knew something Vox could use as leverage against him. He sighed. “Consider it done.”

Angel rolled his eyes. “You really think I’m going to just take your word for it?” he asked, holding out his hand.

Vox groaned (more from the effort of moving than anything else) and took Angel’s hand. “I will remove the cameras from your dressing room as the favor for Charlie.”

“Nice try, asshole,” Angel said, refusing to shake. Val may have gotten one over on him years ago, but he knew better now. “Don’t forget the part where you also prevent cameras from being added back there later.”

Vox nodded wearily, too focused on wanting to go home to have the energy to argue. He updated the terms of the deal and shook Angel’s hand.

“Wait!” Charlie’s voice rang out, but she was too late. A crackle of electricity arced across Angel’s arm, and the porn star jumped back in shock.

“Sorry,” Vox said with a sniffle. “Forgot to warn you about that side effect of making a deal.” Wait, a sniffle? Was he still sick? Was Alastor a fucking liar?

Alastor entered the room, the ever-present smile on his face looking quite smug. “Now, this is an interesting bit of contract lawyering, isn’t it?” All eyes were on him.

“What do you mean?” Angel asked, shaking out his hand in an attempt to get it back to feeling normal.

“Quite a few deals going around here. I made a deal with Vox that relies on Vox making a deal with Charlie. Then Charlie discussed potential terms of that deal with Vox. Vox then made a deal with Angel that claimed to fulfill the deal with Charlie. But does that really count if Charlie didn’t give her explicit approval? And if not, then should that deal be discarded?”

Vox groaned. “This is giving me a headache. Stop being a show off and just give us the fucking answer already.”

“Now now,” Alastor said, smile burning brighter, “is that any way to treat the person who’s in charge of your fate?” Vox frowned. “As for the deals at hand,” Alastor continued, “let us return to Charlie. Charlie, do you accept this deal?”

Charlie shook her head. “The favor was to repent. I’m sure Vox has quite a bit more he’s guilty of so I’m not ready to close this deal just yet.” Alastor nodded approvingly. The girl was learning. Probably not enough to be wise to Alastor’s tricks, but she was learning nonetheless.

The room was uncomfortably still as Charlie contemplated her next move, the silence punctuated only by Vox’s sneezes and coughs. Finally, she had an answer. “Apology letters. To everyone in this hotel.” Vox scratched his chin and absentmindedly mimed typing. “Handwritten.” Handwritten? With these claws? That was torture in and of itself! “They get to respond with any grievances they have against you. And then,” Vox sunk further and further into the couch as he realized just how deep repentance goes, “you have to take sufficient action to address those grievances.”

Vox’s eyes went wide and he coughed into his fist. “Princess Morningstar, I appreciate the uh… thoroughness of that proposition, but, um… if I may, thah… ahh… ahh’TZZZZSH! That will take me some time. And I do have a business to run. Forgive me for asking, your Highness, but is there anything that can be done to make this a little more manageable?”

Alastor stepped forward, extending his microphone like an olive branch. “I think we can work something out to lessen your symptoms a bit. After all, you’ve survived allergy season just fine!” Vox suppressed a growl at that. “Oh and don’t forget, I’m a resident of the hotel, so I expect to see your best handwriting in that apology letter!” Alastor said, grinning so wide there was barely any room left on his face.

A grim line set across Vox’s face. He had no leverage here, and everyone knew it. “To repentance, then,” he said with a resigned sigh. “I will write apology letters to every member of the hotel and then, in response to each member’s one letter of grievances, I will take action as determined sufficient by Princess Charlie Morningstar. And doing all of this will fulfill the requested favor and thus free me from this damned virus. Now then,” he said, extending his hand, “do we have a deal?” He felt a sneeze building up as Charlie and Alastor took his hand, then swirls of green, red, and blue energy coursed through them and the sensation was gone. The sneeze was lost. God fucking dammit!

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vvvoxal · 8 days

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Insufferable (6/7)

And we're live! This chapter took a while to write but it was so much fun to write the Radio Demon / TV Demon rivalry lol. Pretty sure this will be the second to last chapter.

This chapter contains a little bit of glitchtext, but I included the original in case it's difficult to read: e.g., "g̸̥͆l̸̩̈i̶̻͆t̸̰̍c̶̖̍h̴̛̪t̵̰̑e̸͕͋x̷͖͗t̸̻̄" [glitchtext]

(CW for one very brief mention of piss lol)

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Next chapter: 7

Wavs: 1

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Alastor’s cackling echoed through the room as Vox tried not to cry. “I heard your little interview by the way. And miss Velvette, I must say you actually seemed to find some decorum for once in your life! I’m impressed!”

Inside Velvette was beaming, but outwardly she scowled. He was, after all, Vox’s enemy and the one that got them into this mess. “Piss off!”

“Careful what you wish for, darling,” he said as a wet trickle made its way down Vox’s leg.

“God fucking dammit!” The Vees might not have noticed if Vox’s angry remark hadn’t drawn attention to himself. As it was, he sat there feeling even more humiliated and powerless than he had before. To lose control of his own body like this, it was unthinkable! “Hhhhh’tszzzsht! Hrgggzzzzzzcht! Heh’tszzzzsh! Heh’DZZZZSH!” Yet more evidence that Vox wasn’t the one in charge here. But he could at least keep himself from crying. For now.

“Anyways,” Alastor resumed, “I notice you made an interesting choice there. Denying Vox was sick at all. Are you afraid of something, perhaps?” Velvette glowered but she wasn’t taking the bait. “Afraid a little illness would hurt your reputation?” Still silence. “Afraid of people finding out that Vox, CEO of VoxTech, got infected with a virus? What would that do to the credibility of Angelic Security? Can’t be very secure if he’s getting sick, can it?” At this point Valentino had finally caught on and was breaking into a nervous sweat alongside the other two (although Vox’s sweat may also have been from that damned fever). “Wouldn’t it be such a shame if someone were to find out?”

Vox snapped forward and stood up angrily, then immediately regretted it as his legs buckled and he fell back into the couch. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, and why ever not?”

“You… you… I’m your biggest rival! If you take me down, you’ll have nobody to have witty banter with!” He felt pathetic even as he said it, but he kept the conviction in his voice nonetheless.

“You? My biggest rival?” He guffawed. “Now that is a good one.”

“B-b-but…” he stammered, half out of frustration and half out of shivering.

“Oh, dear. You seem to be suffering under the delusion that I need you.” And that was all it took. The floodgates had broken again and Vox couldn’t help himself from sobbing. “Poor Vox and his bruised little ego,” Alastor taunted, the mock sympathy oozing through his voice like a sickeningly sweet syrup that should absolutely be kept away from any electronics. Vox sniffed loudly, trying to regain control of his breathing.

“That being said, you do have something of a point. My life would be just a little bit more boring without your obnoxious presence. And I do so hate being bored.” Vox lifted his head up, his tears getting slightly quieter as he let in a sliver of hope. “But I can’t just let you go so easily, of course. Where’s the fun in that?” Vox whimpered and Valentino wrapped his wings around him. Velvette was watching the pair intently, hoping she wouldn’t have to stop either of them from doing something stupid. “No, you have to earn it. There are so many more ways I could make you suffer.”

“Ha… ha… ha’TZZZSCH! Haven’t I already suffered enough?”

“Ha! No.” The simple response cut through Vox like a laser. He crumpled, both literally and figuratively. With Valentino still wrapped around him, they both tumbled to the floor, and despite Velvette’s watchful eye her reaction time was not quick enough. She breathed a sigh of relief when she determined they were both conscious with no major injuries.

Alastor started to speak again but he was cut off as a distant voice seemed to be picked up by his microphone. “What are you doing in there, Alastor? It’s time for the next activity!” A bright, cheerful voice… was that Lucifer’s daughter?

“I’ll be there in a few minutes, Charlie. I just need to wrap something up first.” A pause, the sound of footsteps. “Terribly sorry about the interruption. It seems we’ll have to make this quick.”

“Charlie,” Vox said, dusting himself off (triggering a few more sneezes) and getting back up to sit on the couch.

“Yes, that is her name,” Alastor replied.

Vox gave a long sigh as he contemplated what he was about to suggest. He hated giving his rival power, but maybe filtering it through someone else would lessen the impact. “If I do a favor for her, will you make this stop?” He paused, remembering the importance of specifics in dealmaking, especially with a demon as crafty as Alastor. “If I do a favor of Charlie’s choice, will you remove this virus from my system? And not send me any more viruses in the future?” Velvette’s eyes widened, but she made no comment, evidently having no better ideas.

A small chuckle. “Now, that is an interesting proposition! Luckily for you, I’m in the mood to be amused. I can remove the virus on those conditions. But as for not sending anything in the future? Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? In fact, I think you’re forgetting one detail.”

Vox groaned, just wanting this to be over already. “Go on, then.”

“Why do you think I sent you this little malady in the first place?”

“I’d hardly call it little,” Vox growled, breaking into a coughing fit. “But as for the why, I assume it’s because you hate me? Because we’re rivals?”

“Please, old pal, have a little more faith in me. I wouldn’t inflict this level of torture on you with so meager a reason.” Alastor paused, and Vox’s leg jittered as he tried not to fall off the edge of his seat. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”

“Notice what?” Vox asked, gritting his teeth. The pain had returned and he was really fucking sick of it. Scratch that, he was really fucking sick, period. Period? At least he wasn’t bleeding, he noted, though the thought brought him little relief.

“The security cameras, of course!” he chirped. “I saw how they always follow me. I felt the shutters close over and over again. And when the opportunity presented itself, I discovered just how d̵͙̈́ė̷͕è̷̖p̷̲̄ ̷̨̾y̷̨͘ö̶͚́u̴͚͛r̷̙̕ ̷̤̅o̵̲͗b̷̞̋ș̸̕ẽ̵̺s̵̤̈ṡ̶͖i̴̘̿o̴͎̅n̶͇̉ ̷̖̐g̵̰̋ö̵̘́e̸͚̐s̷͈̎.” [deep your obsession goes] His voice distorted on that last line, and the Vees could imagine his figure growing more grotesque as his powers showed. Vox, of course, didn’t have to imagine. Alastor’s face was plastered all over the inside of his mind, whether he liked it or not. He felt his screen getting even warmer than it had been from the fever, and a light blue spread across his face like a blush. Since when could he blush? What the fuck? All of this was so fucking embarrassing. “Oh.”

“So, don’t think I’ll be forgetting this any time soon. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll d̸̛̰̘̦͈̱̤̖͚͉̯͚̹̊̉̄̓̆̃̈̽̉̕̕͝͠͝e̴̛͙̞̍̀̉̎͌̀̑́͐̏̑̇̋l̴̖͎͙̩̜̣̅̾̃̀̊̑̈̀̊͌̊̕͜͝ͅͅͅe̶̢͍̤̦̳͍̤̪͉̾́͊̆͗͝ͅẗ̸͇͇̗̫̗͕̖͎̏̉̕̚ë̷͖͓͇͎̱͙͇͈͚́͊̏͛͊̄̽̀ͅ ̵̲̥͍̺̻̻͍̎̍͂̂͐͑ṭ̶̦̃́̇̓ĥ̷̢̛̛̗̯͈̹̳̫͙̞̈́̀͐̾͌̐͗̎̅͜͝ỡ̸̧̗͚̼͍͎͎̟̫̮͍̜̪̓̌̌̾̓̆̅̓̈́͌̾͘̚͜͝s̴̪̳̹̟͙͉͍͔͛̿͗̐́̈́̍̽͒́̄̔̾͝ȇ̸̬̼̞͚̼̮̉̔̕ ̸̠͊̃p̶̨̯̬̟̙̣̫̰̱̤͔̝̲͆̓̍́͌́͑͘̕͜ḩ̴͔̮̳̟̀̓͛̉̀̿͛̓͆̕̚͘̕ȯ̵̳̯͐́̋t̵̢̢̤͍̹̱̖͍̞̮̲̮̠͛̾͑̆̉̊͌̎̈́͂̈̚͜o̴̡̡̞̟̼͓͍̭̝̳̦̔̑͜s̵̠̽́̔̉̑̊̑͜ͅ.” [delete those photos]

Vox gulped. He debated whether keeping the photos of his rival was worth the risk, and while he knew the logical answer he couldn’t seem to persuade his emotions. Not yet anyway. That was a problem for later. Right now, he had a virus to purge.

“I’ll let Charlie know to expect a visitor soon then,” Alastor said, his voice cheerful in an eerie contrast to the way it had sounded just moments ago. “Enjoy the walk!”

The walk? Wait, shit. What if someone saw him like this? “I can’t be seen, Alastor. We already talked about my reputation. Can’t you just enable my teleportation for this?”

“And deprive you of the exercise of your own two legs? Absolutely not!”

Vox let out a groan.

“Oh, dear. You look quite pitiful, you know. It would be a shame to have hell’s citizens see you like this. Hmm… I have an idea! If you run into anyone on your way, I’ll tap into your hypnotic eye so you can make them forget.” Vox groaned. “What’s wrong? You don’t like being at my mercy? Perhaps you should have thought of that before you started stalking me, hm?” Vox blushed and stammered but failed to produce a coherent response. “Well, this has been delightful, but I really must be leaving now. Can’t keep Charlie waiting!” The radio cut out abruptly, and Vox’s fans once again sounded uncomfortably loud in the following silence.

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vvvoxal · 8 days

Text

Insufferable (5/7)

Getting close to the endgame here, I think! I’ve been excited about this chapter of the Vox sickfic for a while. Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4

Next chapters: 6 7

Wavs: 1

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If Velvette believed in prayer, she would be praying for a miracle right now. Of course, ending up in hell tended to make one think that any god would be unlikely to help out. So she resigned herself to hoping for a new development.

When Vox stumbled out from the bedroom, he was lacking all of the enthusiasm and energy he’d had the previous times. His screen was full of tiny cracks, though it was unclear if this was a broken screen or just a malfunctioning display. The center of his screen had a bright spot but everything else was dull. “Ugh, what time is it?”

“Morning, Vox. It’s 10.”

“Shit,” he said, rubbing his sore head. “Didn’t I have an interview today?”

Velvette shook her head. “That was yesterday, and it’s already taken care of. All you need to do is rest, love.”

Vox sighed and collapsed on the couch, as if he had used up all of the day’s energy just by standing and saying a few words. “I feel fucking awful.”

Velvette just nodded. “I know.”

“And I just…” he paused, turning his head around the room. “Where’s that radio coming from? Why the fuck is there a radio in here?”

“I’m not hearing anything,” Velvette said. “And besides, there’s no more functioning electronics in this room anyway.”

“I could have sworn I heard… hhh’tzzzch!” A small shower of sparks fell from his screen.

“And that’s why there’s no functioning electronics in this room,” she added, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “How’s that virus scan coming?” she asked, approaching his display.

“I have a virus?” Vox’s face froze, not like a broken program but rather like a shattered hope.

“And memory loss.”

“You sure you don’t hear that radio?”

She shook her head. “And hallucinations, apparently.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Val asked, walking in.

“Val, please tell me you hear that fucking obnoxious radio static.”

Val raised an eyebrow. “What the fuck are you talking about? All I hear is your fans whirring like a helicopter.”

“Fucking hell, I can hear his cackling too. Buzzing static and maniacal laughter and… heh’TZZZZCHT! Constant irritation.” He clawed at his arms. Valentino left the room and came back with an anti-itch lotion, rubbing it in generously. “Thanks, Val, but I don’t think that’s actually doing anything.”

Valentino shrugged. “Worth a try. Speaking of worth a try…” he found the volume controls on Vox’s side and turned them down. “Do you still hear the static now?” Vox’s mouth moved in response, but no sound emerged. “Damn it, he’s lost his voice again!” He blew some smoke into Vox’s vents and Velvette stared at him incredulously.

“You turned his speakers down, idiot! Of course you can’t hear him!” It was very strange to watch Vox sneeze with no sound. Just the flickering screen, the odd facial expressions, and the flurry of sparks. Eventually, she turned the volume back up just in time to catch the tail end of the fit.

“HHHH’TDDZZZZZSH! Heh’TZZZCHT! Hhh’TTTTZZZZZZCHHH!” Vox deliberately aimed the last few at Val to express his discomfort, and the other jumped from the shock. “Thanks for nothing,” he groaned, clawing at his throat. He grimaced and launched into a hacking cough, looking incredibly frustrated and confused when it was done. “You guys didn’t suddenly adopt a pet while I was asleep, did you?” Velvette and Val both shook their heads. “And Val, you haven’t seen Angel recently?”

“No, why?”

“Because I have the distinct sensation of fur in my mouth and it just won’t go away no matter what I do. Fucking gross.”

A warning popped up on Vox’s screen. “Sensors appear to be malfunctioning.” Yeah, no shit. Vox’s fans kicked into an even higher gear than the Vees had thought possible and he began to shiver so violently Velvette wondered if he was going to shut down for the fourth time since this disaster began.

“V-V-V-V-V-V…” Velvette and Val made eye contact with each other and then with Vox, having no way to tell which of them he was calling for. “V-V-Val, c-c-could you get me some… hhh’tzzzsh! S-s-some w-water?” Val nodded and came back with a cup of warm water. He handed it to Vox, whereupon it promptly fell out of the weak grip of the TV demon’s trembling hands. “Sorry.” Val began cleaning up the spill and winced when a sneeze from Vox electrocuted him through the puddle. “Sorry again.”

Velvette searched the cupboards for a pitcher with a spout, then filled it with more warm water and poured it into Vox’s mouth. She had to pause a few times to let him swallow, but eventually all the water was in his system. A small smile spread across his dim screen and he seemed a little calmer, though still clearly quite pathetic and uncomfortable.

His eyes went wide as he stared at a spot in the room. “Wait, what? Alastor… no. No, he can’t be here. There’s no way he’d get past security. It’s just… why does it feel so real?” He buried his face in the couch, trying to dull his senses but nothing worked. He began crying again, this time deep, wracking sobs that shook the whole couch as his fist pounded limply against the pillow. “Please, God, no! I can’t do this anymore!” Valentino’s eyes flitted towards the guns, but Velvette shook her head. Vox looked up at both of them, his screen crackling with energy that was somehow both weak and desparate. “How the hell am I supposed to deal with this?”

Before either of them could formulate a response, another warning popped up on the screen. “Virus removal has been halted due to insufficient resources. Recommend upgrading to stronger anti-virus protection… Checking for updates… No updates available. Try again later.” From the way Vox’s face fell so far it was practically off screen, it was clear he was aware of the message. “No! Please! I can’t… I’ll do anything!”

“Oh ho ho, anything, you say? This will be fun.” Velvette and Val winced as the voice rang out through the room, first from the sheer volume of it and then from the realization that now they could hear it too. This was far from the new development Velvette had been hoping for. But it was the new development they would have to face.

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vvvoxal · 8 days

Text

Insufferable (4/7)

Previous chapters: 1 2 3

Next chapters: 5 6 7

Wavs: 1

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Velvette tried to stave off the panic by focusing on Vox’s work responsibilities, her fingers typing at the speed of light. Unfortunately, her anxious thoughts were moving just as fast. Had she made a mistake by giving him a fever reducer? What if she’d fried his system and now he was shut down? How long would it last? How could they fix this? Would any medicine work on Vox? Could the antivirus be re-enabled, or was this the end? Should they get a new screen for Vox, would that fix it?

“Velvette, darling,” Val said, “you look like you’re about to give yourself an aneurysm. Slow down!”

“This is all your fault in the first place, you bastard! If you hadn’t been such a selfish, dimwitted, arrogant… GAH!”

“I already said I’m sorry. I can’t change the past.” He withered a little under Velvette’s icy glare. “Look, I bet we can find a new compilation of people embarrassing themselves on social media! Do you want to watch together? I can make some popcorn!” he said with a smile.

“But the TV is broken!”

“Yeah, but Vox’s laptop isn’t.”

Velvette hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. She could use a break after all this.

They watched for a little while until Velvette realized she did still have in person work (you know, the work she had before this whole mess) to attend to. She put the laptop back in the cage. “Don’t break anything while I’m gone. And try not to let Vox break anything either!” Valentino just waved.

***************

Shortly after Velvette had returned, Vox stumbled into the living room again. His screen was so dark Velvette could barely make out his facial features, which meant Val was probably seeing even less. Velvette quickly shoved the laptop and her phone back into the Faraday cage. “Morning Velvette, Val,” he said weakly but enthusiastically.

“It’s 6 o’clock,” Valentino said with a frown.

“WHAT?” he asked, his voice distorting in anger as his claws dug into the table and Velvette and Val shared a look of uneasy Déjà vu. “You mean I missed my interview by 9 hours, 9 FUCKING HOURS, and NOBODY WOKE ME UP??”

“Right, that’s it,” Velvette said, marching up to him. “We’re doing an antivirus scan.”

“What are you talking about? And what about my interview?”

Velvette sighed. “I did the interview in your place, because you’re sick. You have a virus, which is why we need to run the antivirus. And you would know this is the third time I’m telling you, if it weren’t for you’re fucking shit-arse corrupted memory banks!”

“Oh.” Vox’s fans were deafeningly loud in the silence that followed. The Vees began to wonder if Vox had lost his voice again, when finally the silence broke. “Hhhh’TTTZZZZZZCHH! Hhh’hhhh’hhh’hhZZZZZZSSH! Heht’dzzzzzsch! HhhhrrrggggZZZZZCHT! Fucking hell!”

Velvette handed him a handkerchief she’d procured during his latest nap. He stared at it awkwardly. “Velvette, I don’t have a nose. What exactly do you expect me to do with this?”

“It’s to cover… oh, never mind,” she said, taking it back. With Vox’s memory failing, now wasn’t exactly the best time to be trying to teach him new things.

“The antivirus?” Val asked, trying to get the conversation back on track.

“Right,” Velvette nodded, staring at Val in a way that clearly said “I’m not snitching on you yet but don’t count on me not to tell on you later.” She turned back to Vox. “Do you know how we would go about running the antivirus scan?” Vox tried to speak but once again sound was failing him. “Perfect. Just what we needed.”

Thankfully, Vox seemed to be capable of pulling up the interface on his screen without needing to talk, though he did have to restart the process a few times when his screen glitched out from coughing fits. Finally, the scan had begun.

It didn’t get far, though, before Vox’s screen started flickering and his breath started hitching. “No no no no no no no no!!!” Velvette protested. “Not now, please Vox! Just wait a little longer.”

“What’s the big deal?” Valentino asked. “I didn’t know you were into edging,” he said with a smirk.

“Ew, no! If you’d been paying any attention, you’d know what I’m talking about. If coughing restarts a process, I reckon sneezing will do the same. If we can’t keep him from sneezing we’ll never get this scan done.” Valentino placed a finger over the center of Vox’s screen. Velvette stared at him blankly. “What are you… he doesn’t even have a nose! Do you really expect that to work?”

Val shrugged. “I don’t see you coming up with a better idea.”

Velvette frowned, having no rebuttal to that. But against all logic, it seemed to be working. The screen flickers got more spaced out and less intense. Val’s finger was covering up most of the progress bar, but eventually the task was completed. “Okay, you can put that finger away now, Val,” Velvette said.

It was as if a dam had opened. Velvette barely had a chance to see the “virus detected” (yeah, obviously!) message before the screen flickered violently and Vox unleashed a torrent of sneezes unlike anything any of them had witnessed before. “Hhhh’tzzzzsh! Zzzzzcht! Hhhh’dzzzt! Heh’tZZZZZZZCHT! Hah’TTTZZZZZZZZZSHT! HAAAAAH’ZZZZZZZZZZST! Hhhhhhh’ZZZZSHT! ZZZZZSH! ZZZZZZZST! D’ZZZZCHHHZT!” It continued on in this manner for at least ten minutes with barely any time to breathe. Velvette noticed out of the corner of her eye that Valentino appeared to have been trying to count the sneezes, but he seemed to have given up fairly quickly. Eventually, Vox regained his breath. “Fuck my life. I never want to do that again.” Val made a mental note that he now had a powerful tool in his arsenal should he ever need to threaten Vox.

Velvette was focused on the screen which had now returned to the antivirus scan results. “Well, the good news is, it found the virus.”

“I know that face,” Vox said, still sniffling. “How screwed am I?”

“Well - it’s got an estimated time of how long the fix will take.”

“And?” he asked impatiently. Then he coughed so loud he couldn’t hear a thing. “Sorry, what was that?”

“48 hours to 2 weeks.”

Vox gave his head a light slap and a shake. “Ugh, sensors really must be busted on this thing. Because I cannot possibly have heard you right.”

“No, you got it. It’s 48 hours to 2 weeks.”

Vox’s face fell. “How the fuck am I supposed to deal with this for that long?” He started crying and Velvette once again passed him the handkerchief, although this time he seemed to know what to do with it, at least for the eyes anyway.

“Bit of a wide range, isn’t it?” Val asked.

Velvette shrugged. “Probably to account for whether or not the virus, uh… fights back.” All three of them grimaced. That was not a fun possibility to consider.

Vox sighed. “Please just put me out of my misery.” Val nodded solemnly and walked over to his gun collection. “Wait, no, not that! I’m not that desperate yet.”

Val stepped away from the guns. “Ok. But if you change your mind, I’ll be there.”

Vox groaned. “Just start the scan, Velvette. Before I facepalm so hard I break my screen.”

Velvette tapped the start button, and a pop-up appeared. “Warning, some systems may be temporarily offline while resources are devoted to the antiviral treatment.” Velvette looked to Vox for approval, who shrugged.

“Not like I have a choice. Besides, how much worse could it get?” She tapped the button and Vox, for the third time in the past eight hours, collapsed.

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