walkingmilkbox

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T is for Toxic Masculinity which is harmful to you and everyone!

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P is for “patriarchy” which we need to trample to the ground.

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“In my second trimester, I definitely dressed like a wood-nymph and slept in pajama sets.”

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“Make a poopy into the owl’s mouth, honey.” “I’m reading Proust for babies while I drop this deuce, please say “hibou” instead of “owl.”

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“As a new mom, I found wearing solid white peasant dresses that are impossible to breastfeed in really added an ease to my day.”

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Why do sippy cups have gender?!?

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“If you just place your child onto your dress, they can suck hard enough to get milk out. Also, I’ve learned to feed one-handed so I can always hold my hair gently.”

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“As a new mom, I really love clothes that bring attention to my mid-section.”

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“My flanges are so comfortable, sometimes I wear them to the coffee shop without even attaching my pump! You should try the granola - they make it in house.”

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“My flanges are so comfortable, sometimes I wear them to the coffee shop without even attaching my pump! You should try the granola - they make it in house.”

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What the hell should you pack for the hospital?

It’s week 36, and baby could start the party at any minute. It’s time to pack your bag! But what the hell do you put in it?

My first introduction to the idea of a hospital bag was an episode of Full House, where Becky has the twins. I remember little of this show from my childhood, but I remember Danny, or one of the other inept men, packed a bag for Becky that was full of panyhose and other very useful items. (Danny also brought the Wake Up San Francisco video crew into Becky’s room. Danny Tanner, you’re the worst). When I started thinking about my own hospital bag, I knew I didn’t need tights, but I had no idea what I actually needed until my birthing class. Now that I’ve had a baby, I can say pack light and strategically. Below is a list of items I think you’ll need.

Clothes for you: Every time you go to a certain chain maternity clothes store, the sales associate will ask you if you have a gown for the hospital. Don’t spent $50 on something that is going to get covered in body fluids. What you really need to bring is comfortable clothes you don’t care about. For the first day, I wore the hospital-issued maternity gown that has slits for whipping out a boob to feed your baby. After the first night, I was ready to put on pajamas that made me feel like a regular person. Bring a nursing tank top, a big T shirt, two cotton sleep bras, an open front sweater, maternity leggings, and sweatpants. Bring socks and flip flops for walking around the hospital. Bring an extra pair of underwear, but you’ll be wearing the mesh underwear from the hospital for about two weeks.

Clothes for your partner: Tell your partner to bring sweatpants, a change of underwear, socks, and an extra shirt. My husband wore jeans to the hospital, and changed into sweats when we were in the recovery room. Other dads were jealous of how comfy he was.

Toiletries: Bring the bare minimum items that you and your partner need to function for two days. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, contacts and glasses, shampoo and conditioner, and any daily medications. I was so happy I thought to bring shampoo and conditioner. My post-delivery shower was the first one I’d taken in almost 48 hours. The facilities were terrible, but it still ranks in my top five showers ever.

Fiber supplements/Probiotic/stool softener: Having a baby messes up your system. I’ve heard horror stories of the first postpartum poop. I decided to be proactive by taking fiber, a probiotic, and a stool softener. Without too many details, my plan worked. Obviously talk to your doctor about any supplements.

Accessories: Bring something to pull your hair back, like a headband or a rubber band.

Snacks: There are two snack categories: during labor and post-labor. Some doctors allow you to eat during labor - I drank a ton of apple juice and applesauce. Suggestions are juice boxes, granola bars, peanut butter filled pretzels. Bring snacks for your partner too! You’re going to be exhausted, and your partner needs to keep his or her energy up.Pedialyte powder:

Pedialyte Powder: I threw these in last minute, and they were the most valuable item. I was severely dehydrated during labor. The pedialyte really helped. You can get a box in the baby aisle of any store.

Camera and charger: If you have a real camera, make sure to bring it, the charger, and an extra memory card.

Phones/chargers: Bring an extra charger for you and your partner.

Clothes for the baby: The hospital will give you diapers, wipes, and formula samples. All you need to bring is an outfit for the baby to go home in. The best option is a set of long-sleeve footie pajamas. The zip up or snap up footie jammies are easy to put on a fresh baby. (We were so terrified to pull anything over our baby’s head while she was tiny). Bring a newborn size and a 0-3 size, because it’s impossible to know exactly how big your baby will be. Keep the season in mind - a December baby is going to need a different outfit than a June baby. 

An empty zip up tote bag: The hospital is going to give you pairs of mesh underwear, maternity pads, numbing sprays, diapers, wipes, etc. Bring an extra bag to carry it all home. This will save you so many trips to the store or orders on Amazon.

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Fake alien babies don’t need their diapers changed.

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I like that FB figured that I’d be into a turtle costume for a baby. But this isn’t how turtles work!

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Pumping at Work (A Working Mommy's Haiku)

milk stains on my desk

round, tiny, crop circle-like

not on my dress, yay!

Written by Nicole (mommy to baby I, 4 months old)

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Source: someecards.com

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Look how real these babies are! Also, the woman in the black tank seems to be feeding her baby from her side boob.