walkingtogetherblog

[walkingtogetherblog]

Have read every post in the last week—it was like a refuge. Grief puts a choke hold on doing most things for very long. Am following you with love and listening — a friend has a place in Costa Rica and invited me down. I may take her up on a sojourn. Solitude is a dear friend. Also, am considering a full-PCT hike tho haven’t settled timing…soon, 2023 if we can; 2024 otherwise. Wide open, wild spaces call this broken heart to heal. Meantime, how does one donate:support you two?? Please send link or instructions. 🙏🏼Sending armfuls of love.

We are so glad to hear that our words have been a refuge for you Yushin. That is one of the biggest reasons why we make time to reflect on these things, in hopes that in may be an inspiration and a support for those in need. Wonderful to hear about your PCT plans. We are also considering some time on the PCT. May our paths cross again one of these days ;) Many Blessings in your life and gratitude for your generosity. ❤️

[walkingtogetherblog]

[walkingtogetherblog]

July 2022, Jinotepe Nicaragua

This will be our final post on this blog for awhile since our Instagram posts have been functioning much like a blog and there’s not much material, time or energy left to share here. If you’re interested in following our journey, check out our almost DAILY posts on Instagram @walkingtogetherblog. (If you don’t already have it, Instagram is super easy to sign up for :)

From Shinei: 

When we first imagined this journey, we had the crazy idea to ‘run to the tip of South America!’ We did run a few miles actually, but soon realized that walking was much more plausible (at least for me :). We also had mostly let go of the idea of making it all the way to the tip of South America before we had even began walking. We didn’t even know if it was possible to walk and camp 100 miles in this foreign land, let alone 5,000 miles! So we said, ‘let’s at least try to make it to Oaxaca’ (where I had plans to do a yoga training that January). Then we said, ‘let’s make it through Mexico.’ Then, when we left Guatemala, we committed to make it to South America. We will likely complete that goal this fall, arriving in Colombia sometime in October. At that point we will have been on the road for a year. Maybe that will be the ‘end’ point (although it never really ends). We are finding ourselves more and more drawn to stillness and formal Dharma practice and feeling that perhaps we have nearly seen and learned what we needed to from this way of living, at least this iteration of it. We have learned to live in relative ease amidst uncertainly. We have practiced a lot with living in less than desirable conditions! We have seen how people are living in our neighboring counties and seen that the source of suffering and of happiness is universal. We have strengthened our relationship. We have built trust in the true refuge of Being. And most importantly, we have clarified our vows to deeply align with and share the fundamental truths of Dharma: Impermanence, Self Nature, and Liberation from suffering. May it be so! 

❤️Shinei

From Soten:

For the record, the only obstacle to our doing a running trip was my wife’s lack of interest in running ; ) Fortunately, setting this idea down allowed us to travel as simple humans, not as athletes. As Shinei hinted, we’re looking at changing gears pretty soon. We are now directly looking for those we might learn from, or those who would like to learn from us.

Shinei has envisioned a month long meditation retreat-trek along the PCT in summer ‘24, as a Wilderness Sesshin. I am trying to bump that up a year, but we’ll see…

Hopefully over the next year, we can allocate our remaining dollars towards training that will enable us to be of better service when we return. I have registered for a wilderness immersion, and remain interested in further music, and dharma training. How we will return to the US remains unknown. 

Tomorrow we will set out into the rain again. We hope to get a multi-week retreat in before our plans develop farther. Clarity is not the end-all of this life, but that which we do founded upon a clearer mind turns out so much better…

Much Love,

Soten

[walkingtogetherblog]

May 2022: San Salvador, El Salvador

We apologize that we have been neglecting this page. A lot had happened since we last posted here. If you’re interested in getting more frequent updates, reflections and photos of our journey, check out our Instagram page @walkingtogetherblog

From Shinei: 

We ended up staying in Guatemala for two months as Samaya received her vaccinations and regained her health. We rented a rustic cabin, made friends, improved our Spanish, volunteered, and even had a visit from Soten’s dad and Cindi! We started walking again a few weeks back and crossed into El Salvador. Then, this last Tuesday, we suddenly realized that our visa was about to expire! We made it to the capital, San Salvador, just in time to get a visa extension and then promptly became very sick! That’s where we’ve been, sick in bed, for the majority of this week. 

Sickness is a teacher. It shows us what we are attached to…our plans, feeling good, our bodies. The truth is that any of us could get sick today and never get well. Anything we are identified with, anything we are attached to, including this precious body, can be separated from us at any moment. If we are not willing to let these temporary manifestations go, we suffer. We suffer not just at the time of separation but even now, because whenever there is identification and attachment there is also the fear of loss and the anxiety of maintaining that which we fear losing. 

Another thing sickness teaches us is what is healing and what is toxic. Our sensitivity to foods, drinks, entertainment, activities and even to thought is heightened. I find myself able to detect the effect of even the smallest bite of food, alignment of posture, or negative thought with an awareness much greater than usual. This morning I was able to do seated meditation after days of not being able to sit upright due to fatigue. How profoundly healing Zazen is. Perhaps the best medicine we have available to us! 

With this increased awareness of what is truly healthy for this body-heart-mind-world, and the renewed rememberance that I could die at any moment, sickness puts me in touch with my deepest vows. How do I want to embody this moment of life? And this one? And this one? Fresh, Alive, Kind, Present, Satisfied, Appreciative, without a sense of expectation or lack, with deep curiosity and full engagement. 

May we all Awaken to the Light of our own Being, releasing all attachments, and manifesting inherent kindness and freedom to help others!✨

From Soten:

Sometimes the future is absolutely appalling. Thank God we’ll never actually have to deal with it. I could die right here on this bed and everything would be absolutely alright.

We have to touch the depth of our own insignificance. This is not the inner critic. The inner critic has no weight unless we think we’re special in some way, or at least are somehow supposed to be. Rather, that who we become or don’t become, inspire or don’t inspire, accomplish or don’t are all irrelevant. We are the only person that will ever experience our own self-view.

Our living is raw. Sometimes it is beautiful. Sometimes it is exquisite. Sometimes it is painful. Sometimes it is agonizing. The teachings say that there is a peace below all of this. If we have some faith that that might be true, it’s worth committing to being open to whatever comes our way, that we may glimpse this deeper peace below.

This most recent sickness was too hard to handle. Enduring aversion. I have no interest in walking tomorrow, the thought is appalling. Yet tonight we’ll pack. The flow of life could care less if we’re on board. 

None of this negates gratitude for being. The opportunity to experience at all is unfathomable. But sometimes we have to shed some sticky skin in order to leave our bad ideas behind. The process sucks. But it is also beautiful, awesome, deeply worth it, and maybe most honestly - simply a matter of time.

[walkingtogetherblog]

[walkingtogetherblog]

March 2022: Antigua, Guatemala

Reflections from Shinei:

Before we started this pilgrimage, we were unsure about how we would present ourselves. Would we continue to shave our heads and wear our Zen clothing? We didn’t know how it might be received. I was told that as a woman with a shaved head in Mexico, people would think that I had cancer. One of the main reasons I took the form of a Zen priest in the first place was to be a symbol of deep spiritual practice and of the possibility of living a life of great kindness, freedom and ease. If the form was not going to fulfill this function, why would I take it? Of course it would still be a reminder to me (and to a few others) of my vows and deepest calling in this life.

But I was also curious to step outside of the form and to see what was left, who I was, without it, and to see what it was without me. Like the fish not knowing what water was until leaving it. This investigation continues to unfold.

However, if our clothing and hairstyle are not dictated by tradition, then how do we choose them? Practicality plays into it of course, availability, and cultural appropriateness. Also, our style, or lack of it, is a statement of our values and preferences, personal and cultural. The "Ropa Americana' is a symbol of our American values. Among them, physical beauty, wealth, sexual expression, athleticism, cleanliness, and style. We are also making a choice to support particular industries and companies when we choose clothing. So in choosing our clothing, we are not only deciding what values we want to strengthen and represent but also who and what in the world we want to strengthen and support. For most of us, our identity is tied to the clothes we wear. If we identify as, and get our sense of self worth from being a beautiful young woman for example (as I have for much of my life), then we feel best when our clothing reflects that identity. Zen is about letting go of the beliefs that bind us to a certain identity. For example, the belief that my happiness comes from people perceiving me in a certain way, be it beautiful, wise, liberated, strong, interesting, smart, or cool. Our practice is about letting go of fixed identity and being free to enter into any identity, without hesitation or embarrassment, if and when it is helpful. There are two quotes that my teacher Chozen Roshi likes to share related to this “Zen is being able to turn on a dime” and ”A true Zen person is just as comfortable wearing a tuxedo at a fancy dinner party as he is wearing a bikini at the beach.” Who would we be if we weren't attached to how we present ourselves in the world? How would we present if our primary goal was to help relieve suffering? The answer is different for each of us and can change with conditions. Perhaps the most important part of our presentation is our inner light. How do we dress our hearts? What do our eyes wear? How does the presence of our Being affect those we encounter? Recently I purchased and have been wearing some traditional indigenous clothing. It is a symbol of a connection with an ancient culture, just as Zen clothing is. It is bright, beautiful, feminine and handmade and thus also represents the values of beauty, femininity, joy, and craftsmanship. I am not a descendant of the indigenous people of this land. I do not speak their language nor embody their culture. Is it dishonest of me to wear their clothing? Is it cultural appropriation? Is it disrespectful? I’ve asked a number of native women these questions, including the makers of my clothing, and they always say no. I do have a deep appreciation for the native cultures of the world and want to support and nourish them. Could my wearing their clothes be an expression of this? Often I see young indigenous women wearing American clothes and wonder if seeing me in their native attire helps them to question their rejection of it. Its also been an interesting exploration of my desire to be seen in a certain way. Namely, 'Good.' Why do I care how others see me and how does this caring limit my ability to meet others with a clear, open, and undefended heart?

Reflections from Soten:

Our pace has slowed since we´ve entered Guatemala. For the better, we´ve spent more time with the people we´ve met along the way. Garbage is interesting. Most of it seems to be food packaging of one sort or another. Both of us feel that the diet in Mexico and Guatemala has basically been better than in the United States. Of course, in the United States, most anything is available, but high quality food is generally more expensive, and more available to those with a higher paycheck. Here it is different. Fresh, high quality food is available to everyone, because they grow it, fish it, butcher it themselves. The poorest even seem to eat well. Food packaging is the means through which we eat preserved food, and the means through which we clutter our streets and streams. How interesting that the means through which we eat worse, is the means through which we pollute our landscape. The smog produced by the old engines in Guatemala is intense. Thank God we have our covid masks on the highway. Skillful means around fossil fuels are controversial. On the obvious hand, if we stop using them tomorrow, a lot of people will die really fast, because supply lines depend on fuel. On the other hand, if we keep using them as we do, a lot of people will die really slow, because we are running the engine in the garage with the windows down. The preserved wilderness areas in the United States are remarkable. They are what people speak of when we converse with locals about the United States and its beauty. How wonderful to see clean unpolluted water, healthy forests...At the same time, the United States produces more waste per capita than any other nation. And this is the lifestyle that so many dream to have. Why does a person crave a lifestyle that poisons their own earth? Is being able to cover large distances quickly really more important than fresh air? Is being able to produce and enjoy more, bigger things more important than fresh water? What toy would we buy our dog in exchange for feeding them polluted water? What if our vision was a beautiful planet? Hospitable, safe, vital, thriving.... When we see others as better than us, and want what they have, this beautiful vision collapses. The race for wealth has to stop. There will be no winner. The better life is not the more comfortable life. Rather, we must nourish the roots where we´re planted. No government policy will solve climate change, for government policy is not its cause. We are. The cause is greed, and greed is ours. Thus, we must cultivate our own satisfaction every day. We must learn to enjoy the most basic nutriments: our own presence, our own breath, the taste of water, the feeling as what we eat becomes what we are, the connection with others. So long as we live, these will not be separated from us. The moment they are, we die. Our quality of life depends on the quality of these basic nutriments, and so with every other plant and animal on earth. So please take care of this body as you would a growing puppy, your body and the body of the Earth. Our grandchildren will need to breathe, too.

[walkingtogetherblog]

February 2021, Tonala, Chiapas, Mexico

From Shinei:

So much has happened this past month! (for daily photos and reflections see our instragram at `walkingtogetherblog’). Now I ask myself what is important to write here? What might be helpful?

I am learning a lot about what it means to be a white Americana. It’s like the fish in the water metaphor, the fish doesn’t really know what water is until she finds herself outside of it. Even though I came from a ‘low income’ American family, I have lived my life in such luxury and educational/economic privilage compared to many I have been meeting. I have access to so many resources that they do not. And because of my birthplace and skin color, I am honored and accepted in this foreign land in a way that my Southern neighbors are not.

Last week we spent the night with a Guatemalteco, an immigrant with a 6th grade education trying to make his way thousands of miles in secret from Guatemala to the US so he can support his mother and sisters. He had been robbed that morning of his small savings and only valuable possessions and had walked 45 kilometers that day drinking unfiltered river water without anything to eat! He had no sleeping mat or blanket, not even a coat! Compared to him I felt like a queen. Here I was, a privilaged American, educated, with expensive ultralight hiking gear, able to buy any food I want, able to enter the county legally and walk in broad daylight wihout fear of deportation, choosing to walk.  It isn’t fair.

How this widening of my view of life on earth is going to impact my life choices is still unfolding. How can I use what I have for the good of all? How can I use less and share more? What is true wealth? What wealth do there ‘less privilaged’ people have that I do not have? I don´t think I could have walked 45 kilometers without food and drinking unfiltered water without getting very sick and very unhappy! There seems to be less psychological illness in latin America, the family structures seem more in tact. In general, people seem more sane and more generous.

From Soten:

Last week, we stayed with a couple who had spent several years living and working in Arizona. Now, they are back in their place of birth, in a small fishing village along the southern Oaxacan coast. ´´In the US we made a lot of money, but we also spent a lot of money. We worked all the time, all day long. Here, we fish. The work demands less time. We don´t make much, but we always have something to eat, and we have family´´.

Although I paraphrased the conversation, that was the essence I gleaned. Just today, walking through a large city in Chiapas, two young fruit harvesters stopped us for a conversation. ''Life is hard here, the work is physical, and the sun is hot´´, they said.

The heat is pretty similar in these two places, the work equally physical, but the mentalities were directly opposed.

We all know that we suffer when we want something we neither have, nor can engage a means to pursue. If we have what we want, that is satisfying. Or, if we can imagine a path from where we are to where we want to be, and can walk it, that is satisfying. Why do we want things that are out of our reach? Why would we begin to imagine relaxing work is better? From what inspiration do the images of desire arise within us?

As we approach the Guatemalan border, subtleties of racism reveal themselves. Gringos, as a gross generality, are regarded well by the people we have come across. Thus we are often treated as well. Central Americans, as another gross generality, less so. They are more frequently victims of crime, and described to us as potentially dangerous. We are received by others according to their view of who and how we might be, gleaned from how we appear. For us this is favorable, for others it is not. May we all be endlessly more interested in who a person is, above and ever beyond who we think they are.

A week ago we met a woman in a village with no more than ninety inhabitants. Many had gone to the States, she said, and reported that the level of hospitality and care for one's neighbor was not the same there. We told her that we generally agreed, and asked her take on the quality of hospitality in rural Mexico. She shared the importance of care and trust being the first assumption, first impulse, and first response upon an encounter. She also shared that in contrast, the pueblos could be quite strict in response to transgressions. For weeks we have read signs, and heard rumors, of pueblos hanging criminals. She told us first hand - a man kidnapped a baby, they caught him, they hung him. Violence is a part of life, it seems. We do harm to each other as a means towards our own safety. On a larger level, many people may die as our Earth seeks stability from its present condition. Would this be bad? Can we find meaning beyond ourselves? What is the meaning of life if it is to be found within, but also beyond, our existence?

The mystical traditions emphasize the awakened mind, be it by whatever name. Further, that life itself will never be anything other than a tangle of confusion without our immersion into the deep truth of our being. If the world was created for a purpose, then our life is part of that purpose, and so too is our death. May we be as honest with ourselves as we possibly can. May all of our beliefs be exposed against the fire of infinity. May truth be revealed according to our passion for it, and may that passion command the direction of our every movement within this life.

Be well.

[walkingtogetherblog]

January 2021, San Augustinillo, Oaxaca, Mexico

(for more day to day info and photos see our Instagram @walkingtogetherblog)

From Shinei:

After nearly twenty days of continuous walking (our final stint to get to Shinei`s yoga traning), we made it to San Augustinillo and have been here for almost two weeks now. On the outside we are in a paridise! But we all know that true paridise lies inside this body-heart-mind, in the quality of our attention, and has less to do with outside conditions. Yet, how easy it can be to get fooled! There are so many beautiful smiling people here with lovely clothes, georgous bodies, wealth, education, wonderful entertainment, excellent food, beautiful surroundings, pools, and very nice tans! But how many of them are truly satisfied? Truly happy? And am I truly satisfied? Truly happy? What I discover over and over again is that none of these wonderful and pleasurable things can give me happiness. And if I believe they will then I suffer because inherent in that belief is longing and inner criticism (or craving and aversion as we say in Buddism).

My stay here thus far has done a very good job at bringing up my early conditioned beliefs about satisfaction in life being linked to physical beauty and accomplishing tasks. The beliefs are, “If I am beautiful, I will be happy”, “If I know things, I will be we happy” and “If I get things done, I will be happy”

One life question for me right now is how can I have a goal to accomplish something (like learning Spanish or leaning a new kind of yoga) without believing that my self-worth and happiness are tied to my success or failure in that goal. Exploring this question helps me to let go of attachment to completion while still working to accomplish my goal. It has to be okay if I never become fluent in Spanish or in this new type of yoga. And being ok with any outcome purifies my intention. I must be clear about wanting to do it, just for the sake of doing it. It’s a lived acknowledgment that my activities, that my life, and that I am already sufficient and worthy of full engagement and careful attention regardless of outcome.

My stay here has also renewed my faith in and devotion to the Awake Mind. It is the only place where I can rest, present in this moment. Before my story I am always satisfied. I know now more than ever that the clarification and sinking into this fundamental presence is my essential life callling. To live this moment, and this moment, and this moment, in full presence; in reverence, in appreciation, and in wonder of this great emptiness and all it`s manifestations!

From Soten:

Can this hand be destroyed, or not?

Many Zen practitioners, including myself, have been turned off by extreme spiritual language - language that points to the apparently offensive notion that our life could be literally turned upside down. It points to our fear that we are living in a literal cloud of delusion, that there are those who are not, and that we are not one of them.

Best practice: to be inspired that there is more to be experienced, that perhaps this life is truly rich, and that the realm of possibility far exceeds the realm of what we think we want?

Can this hand be destroyed, or not? Is it possible that the true hand is destruction itself? That destruction and creativity are truly one and the same? That there has never been anything outside of this burning cauldron of life, and that we are all immersed at its very core, right here, right now?

It is apparent that many people are basically satisfied. I frequently am. Satisfaction is often stated as the goal of a spiritual path, but is satisfaction also the death of spiritual practice?

I used to hate when Chozen would praise the reality of endless practice, because it sounded to me like `a life of more of the same'. The Buddha said that the human´s ability to cultivate love is infinite, there is nothing more of the same about that. How do we stay engaged enough to learn what there is to know, engaging with peace of heart, yet continually pushing the front lines of ourselves.

We have to let those beyond us be an inspiration. The inner critic represents our unconscious lack of willingness to live. In so far as anyone has truly deepened into and beyond theirself, it has only and ever been for my own benefit. What a gift it would be to stand upon their shoulders.

Shinei and I are in a paradise right now. The people are so beautiful, and generally nude, I could stare at them all day in a stream of awe. The weather is 87 degrees, always. The ocean is right there, and has been apparently since...the invention of land. Every available surface is covered by a flier of someone offering some kind of new age massage for a nominal fee. Fresh water is abundant. And so is high quality espresso. There is fish, there is work, there is art...

How do we take the next step? Paradise was never meant to be maintained, it was meant to be shared. There are no borders. How do we pay forward every fruit of our lives, so their sweetness may truly be tasted? And how do we wake up from the spell of ´the good life', available to so many, so we may continue to climb this mountain of wonder, even when it sucks? This life has no beginning, no end, and will not hold still for a moment. Who is it that is living it anyway? If this hand can be destroyed, then it only had a limited function: to hold stuff and wiggle a little. If this hand cannot be destroyed, there is a greater purpose to be found within it, and in this world. May the aspiration to know this purpose awaken deeply within every heart, that we may know the satisfaction of the deep living beyond ourselves. The meaning of life is NOT found in good coffee.

[walkingtogetherblog]

December 2021: Asunción Nochixtlan

Purpose, Meaning & Intention:

Recently, Ryan asked us about our current sense of meaning or purpose in our pilgrimage and if we find ourselves with intentions that span greater distances of space and time…

From Shinei:

When reflecting on ‘meaning’, I think about the monk Myo, who had a deep awakening into the true empty nature of his own mind and then asks Huenung, “besides this fundamental truth is there any deeper meaning?” Huineng replies, “when you look into your own true mind, any deeper meaning is found there.” (Case 23, Mumonkan)

There is no extra meaning outside our own present experience, our present mind. Life is inherently meaningful, we don’t need to make it so. To make a conceptual story of meaning beyond this, to look for a meaning outside of our present moment life, is delusion. Perhaps skillful or helpful delusion, but still delusion.

This being said, now I can tell you my story of meaning and how I see the this pilgrimage fitting into my life’s greater purpose.

I see the purpose of my life to know myself clearly and to share the wisdom that only comes from deep self knowledge. I am a lover of truth. Who am “I”? Really? Beyond the story? Directly. Now. What is this fundamental nature? And what is the nature of things? Sensations? Emotions? Relationships? Always appearing and disappearing. Into what? What is suffering? Dissatisfaction? Where and how does it arise? What is liberating? What brings happiness? These are my primary inquiries.

Just like the monastery was for me, this pilgrimage is a classroom for deepening these investigations. The simplicity of activity is very supportive to concentration and ethical conduct, which are essential for deep looking. After many years of practicing stillness within a predictable lifestyle, this pilgrimage feels like the next step to test and deepen a stable presence. To become a person of steady and true dharma. The unpredictability, challenge, and constant change of this lifestyle aids me in clarifying and stabilizing the recognition of that which doesn’t change and is always at ease. It’s helping me to rely more fully on that which is truly satisfying and important to me. Perhaps I see this pilgrimage as getting a masters degree in spiritual practice. And maybe someday I can get my doctorate and teach others how to do the same. So my purpose is to aid in the awakening of all. When I think of the future, after this pilgrimage, I hope that I might be able to share whatever I have learned about this heart-mind with others. Sometimes I imagine leading a group on a walking pilgrimage retreat or starting a practice center.

When I think about the past, I remember that walking pilgrimage is also a part of my Buddhist lineage and of many spiritual traditions. Perhaps this is another way my intention spans throughout space and time as I engage in this age old way of spiritual/religious practice that my ancestors also engaged in. Maybe my walking is simply a continuation of theirs.

Like Soten says below, I too often feel like a phony, real pilgrims don’t stay every fifth night at a hotel, they don’t have money or cell phones, they don’t eat at restaurants or drink beers. Or do they? In some ways, perhaps we’re not pilgrims at all. Is that true? In this life we wear many hats!

From Soten:

‘The thing about the mind is, there really isn’t one’, a wise man said to me in a dream.

And if there is no mind, what world lies beyond illusion?

We are learning to become pilgrims.

‘A person who travels to a sacred place for religious reasons’

Only the recent shepherds have reflected back to us, ‘ahhh, es una promesa?’, with a certain understanding of the function of Vow in a human life. Why this particular population has stood out in understanding this is curious. On the surface level- a poor demographic, less interaction with culture (including religion I assume), and little time for luxuries such as ‘spiritual practice’. Tending the herd is a full time gig. Yet these people are very present, easy to connect with, and carry a depth.

What matters in the human life? Without the mind, what is it that lives? No human has ever stood apart from this question. Can it be that the simplest of us walk the true spiritual life, while the rest of us are confused in trying to make the world a better place?

At first I felt like a phony. We’re not taking the official pilgrimage routes, we’re not mapping routes to the churches, but now I see the deeper meaning of pilgrimage. Sometimes we’re called to be deeply still, and sometimes we’re called to bring that stillness with us. Sometimes people really need us, and sometimes they don’t, and even may be better off without us. These are the opportunities to commune with the depth within. Walking is an excellent practice, especially if you’re not going anywhere. Who could have imagined that the solution to all the worlds problems lies within a single footstep? May all beings walk with such ease. May their heavy burdens ground them in the here and now. And may the unbearable pains tenderize our weakness, exposing that deep humility that loves, and is willing to live.

[walkingtogetherblog]

December 2021, Cuernavaca

Generosity

“Heaven and Earth give themselves. Air, water, plants, animals, and humans give themselves to each other. It is in this giving-ourselves-to-each-other that we actually live. Whether you appreciate it or not, it is true.”

-Kodo Sawaki Roshi

From Shinei:

The generosity we have been shown these past few weeks has been unbelievable. ‘Strangers,’ who know nothing about us except that we are a couple of ‘gringos’ walking though Mexico, have been welcoming us into their homes and workplaces on a daily basis, feeding us, giving us water, heat, beds, showers, and even financial contribution. These “random acts of kindness” are beautiful, energizing, and inspiring for all involved. (See our Instagram page,  walkingtogetherblog for more day to day details about these interactions). And not to mention the wonderful support we are receiving from our friends and family who continue to support us financially, host us in their homes, and to offer us needed supplies.

Generosity, and its counterpart, gratitude, must be two of the most powerful and healing forces in the world. Perhaps it is just an aligning with our true nature that feels so good. As Kodo Sawaki, one of the most respected and influential Zen masters of the 20th century, says, ‘It is in this giving-ourselves-to each-other that we actually live.” I love it that it’s all one hyphenated word, highlighting the flowing interconnection of everything and everyone. We are always flowing in and out of each other as ‘one body,’ giving itself to itself. So to live in accord with this truth, to offer one’s self and one’s possessions to help others, is innately satisfying. It is in the unobstructed embodiment of this truth that we actually live, fully live. To resist this truth, to pretend like I am separate from you and try to hoard or be stingy with ‘my things’ is deadening and painful. This, of course, does not mean that we should not be kind and generous to ourselves too, nobody is excluded :) 

From all of our benefactors, I am learning this lesson: Be grateful for what I have, be grateful for what others have (aka sympathetic joy:) and let life’s gifts flow, giving feely and fully whenever it’s needed. I’m finding that this alignment with the natural generosity of the universe is a pathway to great happiness, ease, and freedom of heart.

From Soten:

Generosity is not about having a lot to give, it is about giving what you have. We can give things, attention, and time to others. We also can give ourselves completely to our own lives, or not. Be fully awake, fully generative.

Our generosity needn’t look like someone else’s. They best someone else can do is inspire our own. Generosity is the function of love, and is rooted in no-fear. Therefore, fear obstructs our generosity. When we fear consequences, our generosity is stunted. But really, the consequences that we fear are rooted in our beliefs about the world, not the truth of the world. The truth is that we have nothing to lose.

Then what does in mean to live in vain? To suffer our own frozenness. We have nothing to lose, but we can go any length of time not tasting what we have. So please grant me insight into myself, patience to undergo this journey, endurance to keep trying, vigilance to keep trying harder, compassion to keep trying harder for the right reasons, forgiveness to never make bad into worse, and an open heart to receive the gift of life.

[walkingtogetherblog]

November 2021, San Miguel de Allende

Clarity, Relationship & Letting go...

From Shinei: 

When I sit down to reflect on our journey thus far, I see an image of us walking under the open sky and my heart both lifts and relaxes at the same time. The simplicity of this way of life is nourishing and clarifying. The physicality, although sometimes difficult, is revitalizing, healthy, and sane. The land and skyscapes are incredibly inspiring and the people are so kind. There is something purifying about the activity of always moving forward. This external letting go helps support the internal process of letting go, releasing the past and experincing life fresh in the now, not getting stuck anywhere. 

I seem to be endlessly facinated with this process of letting go. Letting go of resistance, letting go of the idea that there is a problem, returning to the innate freedom, clarity, and ease that is most fundamental to my being. Whenever a sense of anxiety, fear, anger, aversion, dissatifaction, depression, or lack arises, in me, I see it as a doorway to freedom. I love to welcome it, to study it, to identify the beliefs around it, and ultimatey to see that it too is made of the same freedom and love that everything is made of. 

Of course this letting go process is not dependent on our pilgrimage, or on walking, or on anything at all. And yet, this practice of walking, just like the practice of seated meditation, seems to be a good support tool. We have to do something in this life, even doing nothing is doing something. For some unknown reason(s), I, (and we) are called to this most unusual endevour. Five hundred and fifty miles so far! One step at a time!

From Soten:

We passed the 500 mile mark this week. It´s not new for me to cover 500 miles in about a month, as a runner, but never before have I actually gotten somewhere while doing it. So that´s pretty cool...I feel some gentle pride in having covered such and distance, and I have been grieving the decomposition of my muscles from no longer ´running it´ as I used to.

Similarly, I´m watching my voice and hands get weaker as I spend less time playing and singing. I guess what comes up must come down, eh?

´Something´s lost, but something's gained, in living every day´, (Joni Mitchell).

Our intention was to spend intense time together as a married couple. We´ve no lack for that now. That has been a big gain. However, I don´t think that´s the kind of gain that has ups and downs. I mean, sure, we could for some unforeseeable reason come to hate each other by the next decade, but cultivated relationship can´t be undone. True with people, and true with our life.

Whatever depth I create in relationship to my own life, that can´t be undone. I´ve been criticized (more than I would like) for being negative and uninspiring. Yes, there is often pain in my heart, but I know it better than I ever have before, and I intend to keep learning.

[walkingtogetherblog]

November 2021, Guadalcazar

On Service...

From Shinei

Along with the basic ethical precepts,our priest vows (which we retook as our wedding vows) are Simplicity, Stability, and Service. They can be understood as three separate vows and also as one vow: To simplify the heart mind down to its most fundamental essence, stabilizing the recognition of this essence and naturally serving life from this essential unperturbable heart.

In a recent conversation with our teacher, Hogen Roshi, he encouraged us to do more to serve the people we meet. Namely, to more directly share with them the basic ethical precepts of Buddhism. I appreciate his encouragement and it is helping me to purify my heart¨s natural intention to care for and love all that I meet. Although I do not feel it my place or calling at this time in my life to take the role of teacher, I do feel called to embody, though my every thought, word, and action the deep love and connection that is inherent in the awakened heart. In the completion that is my very Being, I lack nothing and fear nothing and all that remains is Love.

Often, when I am walking, I come into recognition of this essential fabric of Being, this field of benefaction. It is the most satisfying and beautiful experience. It is the experience of satifaction itself, complete, lacking nothing, simple unconditional Love.

I see this pilgrimage, and this life, as one continuous opportunity to deepen and purify this recognition of basic goodness and its expression. And I see this process as the most impactful and meaningful way to serve life.

May all Beings know thier True Nature!

Sara Shinei

From Soten 

We are 350 miles, and three weeks into our pilgrimage. Are we living as we should? We´ve left a wonderful spiritual community, with excellent friends, teachers, and support. We´ve left a beautiful neice, missing the first year of her precios life. 

Truth is, no one needs us. The Zen Community of Oregon has excellent leadership, endowed with a powerful vow for clarity and service. Our brother and sister are excellent parents, and they have the support they need.

´There´s something else I should be doing’, is a toxic thought. We have little to offer where we are, and we are constantly receiving. The best that we have to give is our gratitude and appreciation. For this country: expansive desert, glorious rock formations, thick serpents, lush and steep mountains; For the people: gracious, accomodating, patient, stable, warm; And for our benefactors at home – our families, friends, spiritual communities, country, and culture.

The desire to serve has been well engrained into us. Right now, it seems, our service is to receive. To allow a family to take us in for a day or two. To recognize that this offer is asking us to step off the highway and meet this new benefactor, that we may soon continue enriched.

The vow is to continue. Right now, to continue, looks like walking south.This vow is clear. What end this vow will serve - unknown. May it be of benefit to ourselves, and others. 

Zen emphasizes the emptiness of the three wheels: giver, receiver, and gift. Perhaps to serve is to keep this wheel turning, with as little regard as possible to the direction. Simply to lubricate the heart of generosity in this world. Everyong loves giving when the gift is truly appreciated. Thus, may we at all times find ourselves either offering, or appreciating what is being offered. In so doing, may this world deepen within its own relationship with herself.

When will we end? In so far as we recognize this pilgrimage as a chapter in our lives, it certainly will have an end. However, from the inside, all we can do is live day by day. A mistep off the sidewalk, a phone call, a single political event, a deep moment of clarity, could each demand a change of course at any moment. To attempt to predict the unpredictable is to live hypothetically. What each of us wants is to live reality. Real living is not found in the accomplishment of our goals any more than in the minutia of their pursuit. Within the minutia of their pursuit lives the evolving meat of the meaning of our goals. Quite frequently, it appears that the purpose of walking from this place to that, is simply to meet this woman making us tacos today.

How will we know when it´s over? It will be over when it has to be. Just like my life. Equally so, may I remember that the good parts and the bad parts are only and always redefined in retrospection.    

What am I learning? I am remembering that all things are basically okay. There are entire towns that didn’t seem to get the memo about COVID-19, and don´t seem to have suffered from being, ´out of the loop´. Having enough to eat, being employed, and having supportive relationships are the norm. Most amphibians I meet, despite being its top victims, don’t seem preoccupied with Climate Change. 

May it be true that we needn´t be afraid. May it be that we respond best to the world before we imagine it to be what we think it is. May it be that the truth behind our thoughts and desires brings more satisfaction than we could possibly bring to ourselves through our own will. And may it be that our aspirations to experience deeper peace within ourselves bring about this very end in the world around us, at every level.

Much Love,

Danney Soten

[walkingtogetherblog]

October 2021: Iturbide, Mexico

Listen to Soten’s new song here!

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Excerpt From Mary Oliver, The Summer Day

Almost everyone we meet asks us the same five questions in the following order: Where are you from? Where are you going? Are you married? Are you walking all the way!? Why?

They are all simple and easy questions to answer, except the last one, why are we choosing to travel thousands of miles though a foriegn county on foot!!? As our spanish evolves, our answer to this becomes slightly more sophisticated, but perpetually remains limited by our clarity and the truth that the answer to this question can never truly be known, let alone, put into words. Sometimes we tell people it ïs “una aventura!”or “nuestra idea loca! or “un viaje espiritual.” Soten told someone this past week that he was walking to “clean his heart.” Truly, the question of why pilgrimage? why on foot? why Mexico? why anything? why life? can never be known. To answer is to act as if we know, as if we even had a choice in this great complex ever changing mystery! Even so, here is our attempt...

From Soten…

In my dream last night, I was escorted to a cliff jump, high above water. They assured me it was safe, despite the rocks below saying, “They look hard, but they´re not.” Feeling I could trust them, I nonetheless bowed out. “I need to check this out myself before jumping,” I said.

It is important to feel safe in this life. When we are anxious and afraid, we do things that cause ourselves and others suffering. We can feel safe by having faith in what is good, or by challenging all the things that cause anxiety.

Ultimately, we cannot know if something is safe or not just by wondering about weather it is safe or not, we can only take somebody’s word for it, or find out.

Similarly, it does no good to continually speculate if a given action is respectable in the eyes of another, we can only ask, or act, pay attention, and discover.

Choosing a campsite always causes me anxiety. First I want to be safe, second I want to not bother anyone, third I want to stay within our budget. Remembering the order of these priorities helps me from overthinking. It is more important to be safe than polite, and it is more important to be kind than frugal.

In response to, ‘Why’?….Why we are doing this, is dependent on ‘what’ we are doing. What we are doing is continuing to clarify. Right now, we are meeting LOTS of people. Why are we meeting them? Because we need food, shelter, and water. Thank you for your help! Really, thank you.

From Shinei…

This journey is a concious stepping into the unknown. It is an excercise in trust. It is an expolation of our fears and desires to control life. It is a not skipping over or privileging one square foot of this life but opening continuously to what is here even if it is a filthy, noisy, four lane highway with semi’trucks wizzing by. It is an expanding of our view, a better informed understanding of what the world and people are like outside our small experience on the west coast of the United States. It is a devoting of ourselves to a slow, simple, and ecologically sound lifestyle. It is a practice of physical embodiment. It is about living in a healthy, inspiring and beautiful way. It is an exploration of working together in relationship with a life partner. It is a testing and strengthening of what we have learned in the monastery about letting go of fixed views and stressful stories, about stabilization of presence of mind, and about opening of heart. It is a calling towards greater intimacy with life.

So how can I say all of that in a concise way? Perhaps the best answer I have to the question of why is, to purify and refine this body, heart, and mind in order to be of better service in the world. Or more simply put, “To become a wiser and more compassionate human being.”

[walkingtogetherblog]

October 2021: Monterrey Mexico

From this hour I ordain myself loosened of the limits and imaginary lines. Going where I list, my own master, total and absolute. Listening to others, considering well what they say, pausing searching receiving contemplating. Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me. I inhale great drafts of space. The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are mine.

From Walt Whitman, Song of Myself (thank you Mushin!)

A note from Soten:

I have never been the kind of person with a simple relationship to living. I have a complicated mind, and a complicated heart. After ten years of at least, engaged Zen practice, life is at worst tolerable, and at best, it touches me down to the core.

We’ve done a lot of relationship work. It has never been easy, but it all has been worth it. In theory we start walking tomorrow. We called this blog walking together because that’s what I’d hoped we do. But it’s a goal, not a description.

My only hope is that this helps us get along better. Shinei and I, yes, but all of us.

I just want us all to get along.

~Soten

A note from Shinei:

In contrast to Soten, I have mostly had an easy relationship with life. When I wake up in the morning I am excited for the day, I find lots of pleasure and appreciation in everyday activities, I tend to have a positive outlook and I forgive myself and others easily. I would never label my life as simply tolerable or our relationship as difficult. At least in my mind, we have a good life and enjoy plenty of fun, meaningful, and loving moments together.

Even so, I do often find myself regularly complaining, wanting things to be different, subtly anxious. Especially during this last week spending 24 hours a day together, I often find myself blaming Soten. Thoughts like ‘he should lighten up,’ ��his negativity is ruining my day’ and ‘he’s judging me’ are common in my mindscape.

It’s important to me that I catch these stressful thoughts and question them. I love using Byron Katie‘s method of questioning difficult thoughts which she calls ‘The Work.’ Is it true? Can I be absolutely sure that he’s judging me? What is my life like and how do I feel when I think that he’s judging me? And who would I be, what would my life be like if I didn’t believe that thought? Returning to the simple happiness of this moment. What a relief! I don’t have to keep believing that! Then turning it around to the opposite. I’m judging him. It’s true. Can I drop it? Can I love him just as he is?

I see our relationship as a microcosm of human relationship. I know that the degree I can love, get along with, and accept him, is the degree to which human beings can do this on a larger scale and also the degree to which I can love myself. And, vice versa. Yes, one of my hopes for this pilgrimage is to learn to get along better with Soten but perhaps more importantly, with myself. To find more clarity and stability around some of the fundamental spiritual inquires. How can I truly be at peace in this life? How can I embody and share this peace with others? How can I love best?

[walkingtogetherblog]

October 2021: Our lives are worthy of our finest attention and care

To listen to a new song by Soten click here.

It is with sadness that I write this blessing before our long awaited ‘trip’. In a way, it’s all over. No more fantasy. No more brain-number web-searching, ensuring that we packed the right whistle. Now just back to regular life. I’ll still try and get my exercise, she’ll still wish I were more affectionate, etc… I pray that whatever decisions appear as our lives unfold, may they simple, stable, and born from hearts of service. Further, I pray that this day of deep discomfort, stress, and alienation birth great awareness, humility, and love as we step forward together. To my wife, and to the world, may even my own darkest hours be the seeds for your awakening. Finally, it is with deep faith that we step forward. Not faith that something good will come of this, but that this has come from something good and that this is already good. Thus, our lives are worthy of our finest attention and care. May we continually remember this. Even now, even tomorrow, even always….  ~Danney Soten

The final day of preparations full of details! I consider now if it was a day well spent? Did I place too much importance on getting things done and not enough on the relationships and inner awarenesses that truly matter? Sometimes I contemplate how much of my life has been spent preparing for my life. Is that how I want to live? What does truly matter?

Now we have spent enough time preparing. Now it is time to live. I pray that we will meet each person and situation with kindness, openness, humility and curiosity. May we be safe and may we love and care for one another. May our love grow to include all life!   

Enough with the preparations! A whole life can be spent that way, looking just beyond what’s here,  trying to insure a future It’s time now to relax, take a deep breath, and look around It’s time now To live

~Sara Shinei

[walkingtogetherblog]

September 2021, Oregon/California 

Last weekend we finished what may be our last wilderness sesshin for awhile. We dropped off our supplies at the monastery and said goodbye. Two days ago, we left Oregon. On October 1st we plan to cross the Mexican border and officially begin our pilgrimage!

Here are some reflections from Soten on this past summer and our continuing transition followed by the sesshin closing poem from Shinei (for more poetry from Shinei, including audio versions, check out her poetry page in this blog).

Dear Friends, 

I miss the soundscape and beauty of the mountains. After two months in the Wilderness this summer, a certain sensitivity has been carved out within me, against which the sounds of the city scratch. I can listen from the depths of silence within myself, but can't but acknowledge that the combustion engines, and low volume electric hums, resonate with a certain unpleasant tension. I hope to retain my ability to really listen, even if I don't like what I hear.

Running around downtown Portland for the first time in a couple years, I've never seen so much heroin and meth in plain sight. At first glance, so much litter. Then again, I produce so much more, it's just that my lifestyle affords shipping it into someone else's backyard....

I hope we will learn how to take in other people's views. It was such a gift to offer three Wilderness Sesshin this summer. Each had a deeply distinct flavor, and in a way, offered a slightly different practice for us. Each informed the next, and we ended on such a lovely note. (see top photo above ;)

Two friends from South Lake have reported black bears breaking into their homes, rummaging through their refrigerators, after being burned out of their forests. Perhaps the ‘wild’ is not so far away...

I don't know what our practice will look like as Shinei and I move forward together, but I am so grateful to you all for such a wonderful send off....

Love, Soten

Sesshin Closing Poem

This shared Silence. Surely you have longed for it. This Vast, Bright Heart like Sun, like Moon, like Mountain  water flowing...

We call this the last day, but perhaps it’s just the first. Always dreaming time, yet, no shadow can surpass the sun. What do you really want? What are you deepest questions? Your greatest aspirations? When this body comes to the point of death…

What then?

Do you know the Vastness of your own mind? Do you realize the light of your own awareness? Have you noticed the capacity of your own heart to Love... everything?

It seems a human being can go a whole lifetime without so much as noticing this Freedom, but you can make it your home:

Take the posture, acknowledge your basic goodness, befriend the pain, the trauma, the insecurity,  the fear, the grief, recognize the true refuge, and take your seat beside the Buddha.

Truly, you don’t have to live this precious life afraid.

[walkingtogetherblog]

Alaska (August 2021)

Kayaking in the Tongass Wilderness of Southeast Alaska, helping our our friend Kurt Hoelting of Inside Passages. This last week we helped host a writers retreat and Shinei discovered she’s a poet! Here are a few of her recent haiku’s composed while kayaking (also check out her new poetry page above :)

Floating Aliveness Look for the one who knows it Can’t find her anywhere!

You thought you saw it But look again before thought This mind-made water

See, smell, taste, touch, hear This intimate knowingness It’ always been here