waltzingbears

[waltzingbears]

my humble first attempt at a murderbot. i think i accidentally took 400 billion creative liberties but that's ok <3 i hope the fandom accepts my offering. please vehicular manslaughterbbot fandom im.baby 🙏

[waltzingbears]

in honor of the Lilo & Stitch remake being a huge piece of shit here's a comic about what the original meant to me as an 8 year old

[waltzingbears]

to me. the ring finger is the thursday of the hand

[waltzingbears]

[waltzingbears]

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[waltzingbears]

[waltzingbears]

I've got a theory that when Vulcans say "I do not experience that emotion" or "I do not feel ___" it's actually a traditional mantra/prayer rather than a statement of fact.

[waltzingbears]

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[waltzingbears]

I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee

[waltzingbears]

Saguaro redraw from some years back! good ol long cactus

[waltzingbears]

Lauren DeLorean

Very serious very logical

[waltzingbears]

[waltzingbears]

I am re-reading The Left Hand of Darkness and unfortunately, my brain is too rotten for this, because all I can think about is an alternate timeline where the girlies got absolutely sauced on this book and instead of inventing the Omegaverse, people just wrote Kemmering AUs instead.

to be clear, Ursula K. LeGuin would hate this

[waltzingbears]

[waltzingbears]

“here there be gerblins” is like what if you couldn’t save everyone. “petals to the metal” is like what if the love was there and it couldn’t save everyone but the love was still there. “crystal kingdom” is like what if the love was there and it couldn’t save everyone and it actually made things worse but the love was there. “the eleventh hour” is like what if love started all of this but you couldn’t save everyone (you couldn’t save everyone (you couldn’t save everyone (you couldn’t save everyone (you couldn’t save everyone (you could save everyone))))). “stolen century” is like what if you could try again (what if there was love) (what if you could try again).

[waltzingbears]

I have some news for members of the united states armed forces who feel like they are pawns in a political game and their assignments being unnecessary.

[waltzingbears]