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washoping · 5 days ago

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Through her eyes

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Emily Prentiss x reader

SUMMARY: The mirror has never been kind to you, but Emily is – and tonight she’s determined to help you see yourself the way she sees you.

TAGS: emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, smut, established relationship, comfort, self-esteem issues, body worship, praise kink, mirror sex

f/f │ 3.8k words │ ao3

A/N: cw this oneshot includes talk about body image issues and mental health in general. i write these to clear my own head but wanted to share in hopes that it might bring comfort to someone else too. if you're feeling low i promise you things will get better. you're not alone and you're beautiful exactly the way you are. hugs <3

english isn’t my first language, typos and mistakes are all mine.

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You stared at your reflection in the mirror.

On bad days like this it was difficult to see anything positive in it, no matter how hard you tried. It was even more difficult to try to explain to people how on days like this even the simple act of seeing your reflection in a mirror or any kinda reflective material could send you into a downward spiral – and quickly.

You were supposed to go to a work party with your girlfriend tonight. You felt excited, mostly because Emily was so excited to bring you with her. She loved having you at her work events, showing you off. You got along well with her colleagues incredibly well too, so technically there was no reason for you to feel insecure or anxious about tonight, but you still did.

You had tried on multiple outfits already and it had frustrated you to the point of tears forming in your eyes now. You tossed the most recent clothes you tried on to the bed behind you and looked at yourself in the mirror again, your gaze wandering, landing on all the flaws you could see. Your stomach not as flat as you wanted it to be, your thighs too thick for the slacks you had wanted to wear. You wished you could just unzip and strip out of your own skin. Being in it felt suffocating.

The last thing you wanted to happen was for Emily to find you like this. The plan was to get this out of your system, alone, and then force a smile on your face and go with Emily. Her presence and hand in your hand would make things more bearable and you’d survive the night just fine.

But no. You heard footsteps that you recognized to be Emily’s from the hallway and before you could put your t-shirt on she stepped into the bedroom, finding you in a state not too far away from panicking.

Your gaze met with hers through the mirror in front of you. She looked at you with a sad smile on her face, understanding the situation right away. She read and profiled people for a living so there was no way she didn’t know what was going on. She watched you trying to pull the t-shirt over your head with your trembling hands as she walked towards you slowly. You were seemingly anxious after getting caught in your self-hate ritual, so putting the shirt on turned out to be a more difficult task than you had expected. You struggled with it.

Emily didn’t say anything. Your heart rate picked up. You knew it was stupid because she was your girlfriend. It made no sense to feel this uneasy in front of her but you couldn’t help your bodily reaction. You and Emily had talked about your body image issues and everything regarding it before but you had done so well hiding the actual bad moments from her. You didn’t want her to see you like this.

“I don’t think I can go”, you blurted out, not being able to look at Emily. You wanted to hide – curl up in your bed, bury yourself underneath the covers and never leave.

“Hey, hey… shhh…” Emily soothed you. Her eyebrows furrowed in worry as she looked at you, clearly in despair. Your heart melted a little, seeing her like that and caring so much. “It’s okay, honey.”

“It’s not. I’m letting you down. I know you wanted to go and I’m ruining it”, you started to explain quickly, your thoughts just pouring out of your mouth before you had too much time to think. “But you have to go. You’ve been so excited about tonight. I’m sorry I’m ruining this. I ruin everything. I’m sorry. Fuck. I’m so sorry, Emily.”

You turned around quickly. Your plan was to escape the room and the uncomfortable situation but right when you were about to walk away Emily grabbed your shoulders and stopped you.

“Hey, can you look into my eyes?” she asked, her voice probably more gentle than you had ever heard it before. It was difficult trying to make sense of what was happening in your mind. You were ashamed and embarrassed after Emily finding you, and on the other hand her sweetness provided you comfort but it was difficult for you to accept it.

You gathered your courage, picked your head up and looked into Emily’s beautiful brown eyes full of compassion and care. Her hands moved from your shoulders to your face, cupping it gently and stroking your flushed cheeks with her thumbs.

“You haven’t ruined anything. Not a single thing, okay? If you feel like you can’t go, then we won’t go. I don’t mind at all. All I want is for you to be okay. I don’t want you to force a smile on your face for the whole evening when in reality all you wanna do is cry. Believe me, all I want is for you to feel better, baby”, Emily explained, not breaking her eye contact with you for a single second.

“I don’t know why you’re being so sweet”, you whispered, your voice cracking. “I don’t deserve you.”

“C’mere”, Emily mumbled and pulled you towards her. She wrapped her arms around you tightly and pulled you to her chest until you couldn’t be any closer to her physically. She was a bit taller than you so you fit perfectly into her arms. You closed your eyes and let Emily hold you, softly stroking your hair and pressing a kiss on your forehead. “You’re okay… everything’s okay, my love”, she assured you when she heard you crying into her shirt. For a moment you believed in Emily’s words, because being in her arms made everything feel easier.

“I’m sorry”, you whispered again. You didn’t even know exactly what you were apologizing for. For the cancelled plans, for acting this way, for putting Emily through this because of your issues… all of it.

“Stop apologizing”, Emily said. You closed your eyes, trying to just focus on this moment. Emily’s arms around you. Safe.

Emily turned the two of you around slowly and moved to your backside. She wrapped her arms around your waist and hugged you from behind, pressing her head onto your shoulder. When you opened your eyes again you noticed that she had turned you so that all you could see in front of you was the two of you in the mirror. Your eyes met Emily’s through the reflection. She could notice you were a bit uncomfortable seeing yourself again. Before you could say anything though, Emily flashed you a reassuring smile.

“Can I show you something?” she asked while hugging you and you nodded shyly.

Emily’s hands travelled to your arms, stroking them.

“I love these arms. I love they way they wrap around me when we’re cuddling in bed”, she explained. She touched your hand, taking it into her own, intertwining your fingers. “I love these hands, they fit so perfectly into mine.”

You just stared at Emily in the mirror, realizing what she was doing. It made you panic a little inside. It was extremely sweet, but to have someone, even Emily, paying that close attention to you when you had just had a bad moment with your body felt like it was a bit too much, maybe.

“Em, you don’t have to-”, you managed to say but Emily kept on going like she didn’t hear you.

“And these fingers”, she chuckled sweetly and looked at you, “they’re magic. So talented in… so many ways.”

She let your hand down, her fingers traveling to your face next. She brought her own face closer to yours and caressed your cheek softly.

“This face… my absolute favorite thing to see first in the morning. You have no idea how beautiful you are. I know my day is going to be good when I wake up and see your face next to me, sleeping so peacefully, looking so gorgeous but so unaware of it. You’re so beautiful”, she explained, whispering the last words into your ear, making goosebumps prickle along your skin. She pressed a soft kiss on your cheek.

You didn’t even know what to say anymore or how to react. You just looked at her in awe, forgetting about the whole incident earlier. There was something about Emily’s words, her gestures, that made it so easy for you to believe everything she said and did.

You felt her touch moving down from your face to your chest, caressing your shoulders, then your sides and ending up on your stomach. You inhaled sharply when her fingers ghosted on your skin there.

“I know how you feel about this part of yourself”, she said and looked deep into your eyes through the mirror. Yes, she was right. No matter how much you had learned to trust Emily and how comfortable you were with her, there was still an apprehension every time her hands were on your stomach. You hated it, but didn’t hate her touch. It was confusing. You closed your eyes for a bit, telling yourself not to cry. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. This, and every other part of you is so beautiful. I wish I could make those mean thoughts you have about yourself disappear somehow.”

Her touch lingering on your stomach was so soft it felt like it was barely there but it still released something inside of you. You felt like you were on the brink of breaking down in tears. Emily noticed it right away, not wasting another moment before consoling you. She turned you around and you buried your face into her chest again. She held you with no intention of letting go before you initiated it.

You had never cried in front of her like this before. You had talked about difficult things, she knew your life story and your struggles, but there was some kind of a block in your mind that wouldn’t let you cry in front of people properly, no matter how much you trusted them. Emily had touched you before, many times, but something about seeing her touch on your body like this, actually paying attention to every tiniest detail, made it all so much more difficult. When your eyes were closed you could just focus on Emily’s touch alone but when you saw it happening in front of you, your body in the mirror, it felt much more real.

“Let it out, honey… I’m here. I’m right here with you”, you heard Emily whispering into your ear reassuringly. You trusted her, you really did. You knew if you were to break down she’d catch you. She’d make sure you come back safely from whatever place you’d need to go to in order to get all the pent up sadness out of your system. You knew she’d hold you through it, she wouldn’t leave you.

But it still felt too heavy.

”Look at me”, Emily said gently and you did. You met her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time this evening, but it was still just as nerve-wracking. Her eyes were filled with kindness and understanding. She brought her face so close to yours that your foreheads were touching.

”You’re so beautiful. So, so beautiful”, she whispered, her lips moving closer to you with every word that came out of her mouth until they finally touched yours. She pressed her warm lips onto yours, channeling all her adoration for you in the slow kiss. You closed your eyes and suddenly nothing else mattered than the way Emily made you feel.

She didn’t ask for anything from you, simply just gave. She gave you warmth, safety and stillness when everything around you felt chaotic. Her hands cradled your face with such care.

When she pulled back slightly, she didn’t go far. Her forehead stayed pressed against yours, her breath mingling with yours.

”Let me love you”, she whispered in a low and velvety voice. ”Exactly as you are. Right now, just like this.”

Your lips parted, about to hesitate, but to your surprise, words wouldn’t come out. The tears stung behind your eyes, desperate to escape after being forced to stay hidden for far too long. So, you just nodded instead.

Emily took your hand and turned you gently back to face the mirror again, positioning herself behind you. Her arms circled your waist, resting there like a grounding weight. Gently, she pulled you against her chest. Your eyes followed her movements through the reflection, reluctant at first, but Emily’s calm presence soothed the shame that was threatening to rise inside you.

Emily noticed it, the way your eyes tried to move away from the reflection in front of you.

”I want you to stay here with me. Keep looking. I know it’s really hard, but I’m right here.”

You did. Hesitantly, but you did. Your gaze flicked to hers in the mirror, seeking for reassurance. You didn’t need to look for it for too long because it was already there. Emily’s eyes softened when they met yours. She was so patient and you adored it.

Her hands began to move. Not rushed, not demanding at all. Her hands explored down the curve of your waist, then across the softness of your stomach again. Her palms laid flat against your warm skin that you had spent years criticizing.

”This body”, she said, almost whispering. ”You see flaws. I see pure beauty. Home.”

You swallowed hard and Emily kissed your shoulder softly.

”This skin?” Her hands caressed over your stomach with soft strokes. ”This is where you curl into me when you’re tired. This is where I hold you when the world’s been unkind to you. Your marks, scars, lines… none of it has ever been too much for me. Not once.”

A shaky breath escaped your mouth. What had you done to deserve someone like Emily? She moved your hair aside quickly and kissed the spot where your neck met your shoulder.

”I love every inch of you. Not just when you feel confident, but especially when you don’t. When you look like this, with your eyes so full of doubt and your body so tense… god, baby. It only makes me want to care for you even more because I don’t want you to feel like this.”

Hearing the sincerity in Emily’s voice made you believe every single word she said. Her fingers dipped lower slowly until they brushed the hem of your underwear. You flinched slightly, not out of fear, but more out of habit. Emily paused what she was doing immediately.

”Do you want me to stop?” she asked, making sure you were comfortable. Her comfort was her first priority.

”No”, you whispered, looking at her. ”Just… go slow. Okay?”

Her lips curved into a tender smile against your skin.

”Always.”

She resumed with the same patience as before, hands tracing your hips before slowly tugging the fabric down, giving you every opportunity to stop her. You didn’t. You realized in that moment how badly you needed this. There was something about the way she made you feel, not just safe but deeply seen, that kept you wanting more.

When all of your clothing items were piled up on the floor, you instinctively tried to cover yourself with your arms. You folded them across your chest and stomach, but before they were fully covering anything, Emily caught your wrists. She lifted them only enough to slide her arms around you again, embracing you protectively. Even when feeling like you wanted to cover yourself, you didn’t have to do the work – Emily would do anything for you.

”Please, try not to hide from me right now”, she murmured against your ear. ”Not from yourself either. You’re not something to be hidden.”

You faced yourself again in the mirror. It was hard, even brutally so, but you saw what Emily saw reflected back in her eyes. No judgement, no disappointment. Just pure awe and love.

Emily began to kiss along your shoulder, down your neck, trailing slow touches with both her lips and fingers. Her hands roamed across your body like she was rediscovering every part of you to adore even more than before. Your waist, your hips, your thighs – all of it. All the spots that you had always felt insecure about. There was no part of your skin that she didn’t pay attention to.

”I love your thighs”, she admitted softly, kneading them with her hands. She dug her fingers into the soft skin, making you breathe out heavily. ”Strong, but still so soft. And the way they wrap around me? It drives me insane.”

You let out a choked giggle through your tears and Emily smiled at the sound. It clearly made her happy to see you smiling, too.

”There she is”, she cooed, planting another sweet kiss just below your jaw.

You leaned back into her embrace as her hands started wandering again. One of them slid up to cradle your breast with such gentleness it made your breath catch in your chest. Emily didn’t rush one bit. She just held her hand there, teasing you. Her thumb brushed softly over your nipple, making it hard under her caress. Her lips pressed another kiss on your skin, to your temple this time.

”I want you to feel loved”, she murmured. ”Worshipped. Because that’s what you deserve. Because baby, every time I look at you… I don’t know how to explain it. You’re so gorgeous.”

You tilted your head, instinctively exposing your neck to her. She kissed up the length of it and a small whimper left your lips. Her hands continued their journey exploring your body. Every touch of hers on your skin said I see you. You matter. You’re beautiful. I love you.

One of her hands moved lower, sliding between your thighs now. You were holding them together nervously, but Emily’s hand ushered you to part them for her. You did and Emily paused just long enough to ask ”you okay?” quickly.

”Yes”, you breathed.

She touched you in slow circles and careful pressure, all while watching your reflection in the mirror. She had all the time in the world. Your eyes were closed at first, not brave enough to meet Emily’s although you could feel them on you. She teased you, slowly getting closer to your clit that was aching for attention at this point. Emily’s sweet words of praise to you had made you so wet. You needed her, badly.

When you opened your eyes, you met Emily’s eyes in the mirror again. Her cheeks were flushed and her pupils blown. Seeing her so deeply affected by this too made you love her even more.

”That’s it. Such a good girl”, she whispered when you started to slowly move your hips to gain some friction against her fingers. ”Let yourself feel good. You don’t need to hide or escape this moment. You’re allowed to feel good.”

You moaned, unable to keep your eyes open because the teasing was too much, so you closed them. Losing your sight felt like it made all the other senses even stronger. Emily kissed your cheek and it sent shivers down your spine. One of her arms was keeping you upright in her embrace, while the other’s hand between your legs moved with more certainty now. Her fingers were coated with your arousal, you just knew it.

”God, look at you. You’re so perfect like this”, she spoke breathily, admiring the sight of you unraveling in her arms from the mirror. You struggled to stay up on your feet, but Emily wouldn’t let you fall. ”Soft and open and letting me in so willingly.”

With the last words, she plunged two fingers inside your heat. You whimpered, your hands gripping her arm tightly for support. She adjusted slightly behind you to get her fingers to reach even deeper inside you. You gasped, not from the sensation of her inside you alone, but from the sheer intimacy of all this. Emily was holding you while loving you, while guiding you back into appreciating your body.

Your eyes fluttered open, wanting to see Emily. You saw it again in the mirror – the woman who loved you the most, touching you like you were her most precious belonging. The sight made you even more aroused.

”Don’t look away now”, Emily said gently when she noticed your eyes looking at the reflection of you two again. Her breath was hot against your ear. ”Look at yourself. Look how beautiful you are like this, falling apart in my arms. Such a gorgeous, gorgeous girl.”

You did what she asked. You watched. And for once, you didn’t see only your stomach or your thighs or any other imperfections or insecurities your mind loved to scream to you about. You saw your flushed skin, your parted lips, the way your body took Emily’s fingers so beautifully. You saw how tight but carefully Emily held you, ready to catch you from falling any moment. But most importantly, you saw how her eyes never once left yours.

And you believed her words, too.

Your climax hit you like a wave. It was soft and slow. It wasn’t sharp and it didn’t have you screaming on top of your lungs, but it was almost overwhelming in its intimacy. You gasped, trembling in Emily’s arms as she held you through all of it, murmuring constant praise and comforting words into your soft skin.

Her fingers eased out of you only after your breathing had began to settle. She kissed your cheek again, arms tightening protectively around you, not letting you fall even though your legs were exhausted and you needed to lie down.

”You did so good”, Emily whispered sweetly, caressing the skin of your stomach. You didn’t flinch. She turned your head towards her by grabbing your chin with her fingers and kissed you softly. She murmured against your lips. ”You’re so good, sweetheart.”

Tears slipped from your eyes, out of pure relief, gratitude and love. You turned fully in Emily’s arms and buried your face in her neck. She held you tight.

”Thank you”, you whispered against her chest. ”I didn’t know how much I needed that.”

Emily’s hands stroked your back and she placed a soft kiss on your forehead. She started walking you towards the bed.

”You don’t have to earn softness or love. I love every part of you. Especially the ones that need reminding of how worthy and loved they are.”

You clung to her, naked in every sense of the word, and Emily simply just held you while you two cuddled. No expectations, no demands. In Emily’s arms, you felt as if you could see yourself through her eyes someday, too.

#mine: writing #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss #emily prentiss fic #emily prentiss smut #criminal minds fic

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