wasp-jar

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“laughter is the best medicine” WRONG. hormone replacement therapy.

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all the “peer pressure is bad” education we give kids is practically useless because all it cares about is telling them that Drugs Are Evil rather than the much more useful lesson of ‘the person who responds to you saying you don’t drink by telling you they’ll find a way to get you to is also going to be shitty about all your other boundaries’.

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title of this is just ‘lesbian sex’

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Having haters doesn't make you special. Everyone's got haters. You forget to use your blinker in traffic just once, and the driver behind you is like "fuck that driver, I bet they never use the fucking blinkers ever, fucking dipshit", that's a hater. You're halfway to being born and your older sibling realises they're going to have to share all their shit, that's a hater. And if you don't have haters before you were born, you'll be in the hospital crying your first breath and someone else hears you in the hallway and thinks "oh fuck there's a fucking baby somewhere here." One minute old, did one thing, and already got one hater.

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the LA river

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"You don't know me. I'm not the same person anymore."

"That's okay. I'll get to know you again."

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living in the USA rn means every news headline every day is like BREAKING NEWS: The Universal Free Puppy Plan guaranteeing every USA resident receives a free puppy has been terminated. Funds for this initiative will instead be going to the ‘GUNCH IT UP’ act, ensuring that every item on grocery store shelves now contains at least 25% coal tar

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Just curious - when I see this phrase thrown around, how much money would it take to change YOUR life?

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"learn to be bored" "being bored is good for you" "be at peace with yourself" NO! 4 SCREENS AT ONCE!!!!!!

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there should be a jesus on the cross emoji. not for any religious reasons. just so I can use it for every slight inconvenience.

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i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

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the thing about being alone is that it’s so peaceful and freeing and cool apart from the evenings you descend into literal hell

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Bug Crossing 🐛

I got the idea for this piece on a sunny day a while ago after seeing a beetle in the park struggle to get across the hot tarmac path, just a silly visual to explore the question of how much we should be mindful of the wildlife we share a habitat with - they live here too!

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me: Man, a lot of my friends are working with vulnerable people and doing irreplaceable work in helping society keep running and here I am doing fuck all and animating titty jiggle physics. What am I contributing here. my brain: But what if the people who do the jobs that you cannot do would like to see a titty jiggle animation when they come home from a horrible day at work. me: ok fair valid point.

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what did dads even do before wd-40