•Jules• the most chaotic person you will ever know•23•she\they•🇵🇱 🏳️🌈 lesbian• Aries ♈• INFP•|not a dead blog... for now|• the credit for the picture in the header goes to the owner, it's not mine!!!•
realizing i am thinking about you instead of the audiobook and going back 15 seconds on the libby app. realizing i am thinking about you instead of the groceries and i have been in this aisle forever, just staring at bread choices. realizing i am only on instagram to send you things. realizing i am thinking about you in the middle of my morning routine like you pardon the early hour just by existing.
little hopscotch moments where i get to nest in the memory of you. i get stuck, candycoated in the sound of your voice. the shape of your hands. the little spray of freckles over your cheeks. your hair fanned across my bedsheets. realizing i am thinking about you instead of applying for jobs. realizing i am thinking about you instead of writing poems. realizing the sound of your name has become a second heartbeat somewhere in the rabbit warren of me.
unavoidable that you will be the villain in someone else's story. You will be painted in an unfavorable light. You will be the irredeemable one. and all of this will happen despite how nice you might usually be or how kind or how respectful or how warm. and you will just have to move on.
in all seriousness it's very alienating knowing theres Something Wrong With You. like seeing your mental illness come through in your behaviour and thought processes and knowing it's irrational and unhealthy, knowing other people are reading you as weird or stupid, and not being able to do anything about it is such a lonely experience
My friend Moataz @moatazart, his wife Mariam, and their baby girl Maria are trying to evacuate Gaza. They are trying to raise money to procure food and shelter for when they reach Egypt (God willing). They are set to travel in about 2 weeks, and their fund has only 9 days left before it closes! If they cannot raise the money, they will be homeless in Egypt! Please please help them rebuild their lives in safety!