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Supernatural Series Rewrite: Season 2, Episode 3: Bloodlust

Summary: Y/N Singer joins Sam and Dean on the road. A rewrite starring you.

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Language, show level violence

Word Count: 15,508

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I still have no set schedule. I’ll try to get the next episode out as fast as I can. Tags open.

"You all set?" Bobby asked, the two of you standing outside while Sam and Dean loaded the car.

"Yep." you said, looking back over your shoulder. "Pretty sure they got everything."

"Where ya headed?" Bobby asked, his hands in his pockets, seeming to try and stall your departure.

"Montana. Red Lodge, I think." you said, Bobby nodding.

"You sure don't need any help?" he asked, you giving him a small smile. "I mean, I could follow you kids over."

"Dad." you sighed, Bobby shaking his head, defeated.

"I know. I just want to make sure that-" Bobby said, stopping short, both of you turning at the sound of someone pulling up.

"I'll be fine." you said before turning back around. "Besides, it looks like you're needed here." you added, Jake climbing out of his truck.

"Yeah." Bobby breathed out before pulling you into a hug. "You take care of yourself, Kid, and call if you need anything."

"Would you stop worrying? I'll be fine, and I'll call you when we get to Montana. Promise." you said, Bobby reluctant to let you go. "Dad?"

"Yeah, yeah, get out of here." Bobby said, letting you go, Jake slowly walking over.

"Bobby." Jake said, giving Bobby a small nod before turning to you, withholding eye contact. "Y/N."

"Jake." you said, giving him a tight lipped smile.

"You guys headed out?" he asked, gesturing towards the car, Dean watching the interaction closely.

"Yeah." you said, looking over to the Impala, taking notice of Dean's annoyed expression. "I, uh, better get going. Call you from the road, Old Man." you added before turning to walk away.

"You better!" Bobby called out, you smiling at him over your shoulder, your smile fading when you saw Jake following after you.

"Jake." you sighed, turning around to face him. "I don't have time for this, and if I'm bein' completely fuckin' honest, I really don't give a shit about what you have to say."

"I just need a minute." he said. "Please."

"Fine." you breathed out. "But you better start fuckin' talkin', and fast."

"I just...I'm sorry, okay? About everything. About the way...the way we left things, and uh, the accident, and...John." Jake said, pausing a moment, his eyes finally finding yours. "I just...I want. I want you to know that I'll do anything I can to make it up to you."

"Jake, there-" you tried to say, Jake cutting you off.

"Y/N, please." he said, his shoulders slumped forward, his head hung. "I just...I don't want to leave things like this."

"There isn't anything you can do. You can't change anything that happened, and you need to stop worrying about tryin' to fix shit between us. There's never gonna be an us, Jake." you said, Jake giving you a sad smile.

"I know that, I do, but that's not what I mean. I care about you, Y/N. You know, deep down part of me always knew that you didn't...Well, part of me knew what we...it...was, but I can't change the fact that I do care about you. I'm not asking for you to return the feelings. I know how you feel about me. I...I just don't want you to hate me." he said, a pang of guilt hitting you.

"I don't hate you, but-" you started, Jake interrupting again.

"Just tell me what I gotta do." he said, giving you a pleading look.

"Singer, everything okay?" Dean called out, you looking back at him.

"Yeah." you replied before turning back to Jake. "Look, I gotta go. Like I said, there isn't anything you can do. You, me, and the whole friends thing...just isn't a good idea. Not after what you said. Trust me." you said, glancing back at Dean, knowing just how much he hated Jake.

"No, I, uh, I get it." Jake said, looking so pitiful.

"Look, just watch out for him for me." you said, nodding in Bobby's direction. "Just make sure he takes care of himself, and we'll just call it a clean break. No hard feelings." you said before turning to walk away.

"Everything alright?" Dean asked, looking over your shoulder at Jake, who was staring at you. "What'd that douche bag want?"

"Nothing. It's fine." you said, Dean still looking at Jake, almost challenging him to come over. "Hey." you said, grabbing his shirt near the collar, Dean looking down at you. "Let's go."

"Yeah, okay." he said, your hand tugging on his shirt, pulling him closer to you before rising up on your toes to give him a quick peck on the lips. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, not so fast." Dean said, leaning in to kiss you again, the kiss quickly deepening.

"Prove your point?" you asked when you pulled back, Dean looking over your shoulder to Jake.

"Think so." he said, the corner of his mouth turning up as he slung his arm over your shoulders and walked you to the car.

The three of you were finally back in the Impala, Dean behind the wheel, Sam in the passenger seat, and you in your spot in the back, and for the first time since the accident you felt that things were starting to get back to normal. There was just something about that car that made everything feel right. She was your home away from home, the fourth member of your team, and having her back was a step in the right direction.

Dean had done a beautiful job restoring her, taking her broken, crumpled frame and rebuilding her to her previous glory with hours and hours of back breaking work and devotion. In fact, there wasn't a doubt in your mind that anyone would be able to tell that she was ever in an accident. There wasn't a single sign that it ever even happened. She was perfect, and you couldn't help but smile as her engine reved, her tires eating up the two lane blacktop as the music blared.

"Whoo!! Listen to her purr! Have you guys ever heard anything so sweet?" Dean asked, Sam reaching to turn down the volume as you leaned up from the backseat.

"I can think of a few things that would sound pretty close." you said, leaning over to whisper in Dean's ear, giving his earlobe a teasing bite when you were finished.

Sam watched a few different emotions flash across Dean's face, shock being the first. That was quickly followed by what Sam assumed was confusion, that look lasting only seconds. The next expression Sam knew all too well. He had been around the two of you long enough to recognize it, and he loudly cleared his throat, both you and Dean ignoring him.

"Please tell me you're serious." Dean said, glancing over to you, his breathing a little heavy.

"I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't." you said, a low groan emanating from his chest.

"Guys!" Sam barked, both you and Dean giving him a quick glance. "I'm right here!"

"I didn't say it outloud you fuckin' prude." you said, Dean chuckling as Sam rolled his eyes.

"You didn't have to." Sam shot back, you sliding away from Dean so that you were directly in the middle of them.

"You know, if you need me to repeat myself, or break down all of the uh, sweaty details...all you gotta do is ask." you teased, knowing how riled up it would get him.

"Y/N, I swear to God!" Sam exclaimed, both you and Dean laughing loudly. "It's not funny! How would you feel if I did that shit to you?"

"How would I feel?" you asked, shrugging your shoulders. "I don't know. Let's see...I'd probably, uh....oh, wait! I got it!" you said, looking at Sam completely serious. "I'd probably start out with, Dear Penthouse,." you said, Dean barking out a laugh, Sam scowling. "Hey, maybe you'll find a girl in Montana, and I could get started. Inquiring minds want to know, Samuel."

"You are ridiculous." Sam said, turning in his seat so that he was staring straight ahead.

"Ah, come on, Sammy." Dean said, glancing over to Sam. "It was pretty funny."

"You know, I was gonna say if the two of you wanted to get a room, just let me know, but I don't know if it'd be you and him or him and the car." Sam said, trying to hide a smile.

"Look, who's got jokes now." you said, Sam huffing out a laugh. "It'd probably be all three of us, though." you added, Sam groaning.

"Oh, don't listen to him, Baby. He doesn't understand us." Dean said, lovingly patting the dash before turning to you. "Ain't that right, Singer." he added, you giving him a hum of approval.

"You guys are in a good mood." Sam laughed out, shaking his head.

"Why shouldn't we be?" Dean asked, your attention on Sam, waiting for an answer.

"No reason." Sam said, you raising a brow at him, Sam pausing for a moment. "You're never in a good mood." he teased, turning to look at you.

"What?! I'm a fuckin' ray of sunshine, and you know it." you shot back, Sam laughing loudly before looking to Dean.

"What? Got my car, got a case, got the promise of some VERY fun activities later, things are looking up." Dean said, Sam shaking his head.

"Wow. Give the two of you a couple severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you're Mr. and Mrs. Sunshine." Sam said, both you and Dean laughing.

"Nothin' like a coupla severed heads to make a girl feel all giddy inside." you said, wiggingly your brows, Sam laughing under his breath as you leaned back into your seat.

"How far to Red Lodge?" Dean asked, glancing over to Sam.

"Uh, about another three hundred miles." Sam said, taking a guess.

"Good." Dean replied, pushing down harder on the accelerator, the rumbling of the engine making you smile as the Impala zoomed down the road.

"You ready?" Dean asked as you slipped on your blazer outside of the Red Lodge Police Department, the three of you dressed in your F.B.I garb, posing as reporters.

"Yeah." you said, walking towards the door, Sam and Dean falling into place on either side of you.

"Something up?" Sam asked as Dean pulled open the door.

"No, I just told Dad that I would call him when we got here. He's a little...worried." you said, the three of you walking into the building, Dean nodding towards the sheriff's office.

"The murder investigation is ongoing, and that's all I can share with the press at this time." the sheriff said, the three of you sitting across from him in his office.

"Sure, sure, we understand that, but just for the record, you found the first, uh, head last week, correct?" Sam asked, the sheriff nodding, letting out a mumbled mmm-hmm.

"What about the other?" you asked, looking down at the small notebook in your hand. "Christina Flanigan?"

"That was two days ago. Is there-" the sheriff started to ask, a young woman knocking on the door before pointing at her watch. "Oh, sorry boys, miss, times up, we're done here." he said, starting to get up from his desk.

"One last question-" Sam started, the sheriff sitting back down, Dean interrupting before Sam could finish.

"Yeah, what about the cattle?" Dean asked, the sheriff giving him a puzzled look.

"Excuse me?" he asked, thrown off by the question.

"You know, the cows found dead, split open-" Dean said, you quickly jumping in.

"They were drained. There were over a dozen cases." you said, the sheriff turning to look at you.

"What about them?" he asked, leaning forward and interlocking his fingers.

"So, you don't think there's a connection?" Sam asked, the sheriff's brow furrowing.

"Connection...with...?" he asked, looking between the three of you.

"Well, first you got cattle mutilations, now two murders." you said, Dean jumping in.

"Kinda sounds like ritual stuff." Dean said, the sheriff laughing as he leaned back in his seat, pointing his finger at you and Dean.

"You...you two aren't kidding." the sheriff said, the smile on his face suddenly fading.

"No." you and Dean said in unison, the sheriff's hand plopping down on his desk.

"Those cows aren't being mutilated. You wanna know how I know?" the sheriff asked, leaning over his desk as he looked at each of you.

"How?" Sam asked, pen in hand to take notes.

"Because there's no such thing as cattle mutilation. Cow drops, leave it in the sun, within forty eight hours the bloat'll split it open so clean it's just about surgical. The bodily fluids fall down into the ground and get soaked up because that's what gravity does." the sheriff said, Sam pulling at his collar. "But, hey, it could be Satan. What newspaper did you say you worked for?" the sheriff asked, eyeing the three of you, suspiciously, Dean clearing his throat.

"World Weekly News." Dean said, you and Sam speaking at the same time.

"Weekly World News." the two of you said in unison, Dean suddenly flustered, looking over at the two of you.

"World." Dean started, Sam interrupting.

"Weekly World." Sam started, Dean jumping back in.

"Weekly." Dean said, pausing a moment, you jumping in to speak before it could get any worse.

"He's new." you said, nodding towards Dean, Dean giving the sheriff a smile.

"Get out of my office." the sheriff ordered, clearly done with the three of you.

"Well, that was pretty fuckin' useless." you said, the three of you walking to the car.

"Yeah, thanks for changing the name of the paper on me, guys." Dean said, reaching to open the car door.

"We didn't. You just weren't paying attention when we were talking about it." Sam shot back, Dean rolling his eyes as he got in the car. "I can't believe we didn't get anything." Sam said as he got in.

"I know." you said, closing the door behind you. "But, maybe we'll have better luck at the next stop." you added, Dean starting the car and pulling out onto the road.

Dean pulled up in front of the Candler County Hospital and parked the car. The three of you hurried inside and made your way to the morgue, still wearing the same outfits you had on in the sheriff's office, each of you now also sporting a white lab coat.

Dean opened the door to the morgue, and the three of you stepped inside, the intern sitting at the desk looking up when he heard the door open. Dean looked at the name badge he was wearing, the badge reading "J. Manners", and you could tell that Dean was trying to quickly come up with a name.

"John." Dean said, the tone of his voice sure and certain.

"Jeff." the intern said, rising from his seat.

"Jeff. I know that." Dean said, laughing it off as he shook his head. "Dr. Dworkin needs to see you in his office right away."

"But, Dr. Dworkin's on vacation." Jeff said, his attention turning to you when you stepped to Dean's side.

"Well, he's back." you said, a serious look on your face, Dean quickly jumping in.

"And he's pissed, and he's screaming for you, man, so if I were you I would..." Dean said before whistling, the intern running away. "Okay." Dean said, once Jeff was gone, Sam closing the door after him. "Hey, those Satanists in Florida, they marked their victims, didn't they?"

"Yeah, reversed pentacle on the forehead." Sam replied as he walked over, Dean handing him a pair of gloves.

"Yeah. So much fucked up shit happens in Florida." Dean said, grabbing a pair of gloves for himself, Sam opening the compartment where the body was stored.

"Their news headlines are fuckin' gold." you said, reaching for a pair of gloves, taking yours off and putting them in your pocket before slipping on the latex ones, both boys giving you a look. "What? I'm not touching anything with those." you said, pointing to your pocket as Sam pulled out the body.

"Alright, open it." Dean said, nodding towards the box that was between the legs of the corpse.

"You open it." Sam shot back, his brow furrowed, you huffing out an annoyed breath.

"Wuss." Dean said, you looking between the two of them before grabbing the box and carrying it over to a table.

"You done, ladies? Cause if so, we got work to do." you said before flipping off the lid, both Sam and Dean approaching, cringing when they saw what was inside.

"Well, no pentagram." Dean said, looking down at the head.

"Wow. Poor girl." Sam said, your head nodding in agreement.

'Maybe we should, uh, you know, look in her mouth, see if those wackos stuffed anything down her throat." Dean said, mimicking the motion with his hand. "You know, kinda like the moth in Silence of the Lambs." he said, smacking Sam on the shoulder, a chuckle escaping your lips.

"Wouldn't be the first time someone's done that." you said, Sam nodding in agreement.

"Yeah." Sam said before looking to Dean, turning the box towards him. "Here, go ahead."

"No, you go ahead." Dean said, spinning the box so that the girl's mouth was now facing Sam.

"What?" Sam asked, an almost panicked expression on his face.

"Put the lotion in the basket." Dean said, a smile on his face as he quoted the film.

"Right, yeah, I'm the wuss, huh?" Sam said, Dean's smile quickly fading. "Whatever."

"Singer, lotion...basket." Dean said, pointing towards the box.

"You two are so fuckin' ridiculous. It's just a head." you said, pulling the box closer to you before looking up at Dean. "Quid pro quo."

"Quid pro quo?" Dean echoed, his brows raised, his lips pursed.

"I'm not doing this for nothin'." you said, one hand on your hip as the two of you stared each other down.

"You said it was just a head." Dean shot back, you pushing the box towards him.

"Have at it, then." you said, Dean pushing the box back towards you.

"What about those things you mentioned earlier. You know, in the car." Dean said, you shaking your head.

"Don't even go there. Those don't fuckin' count." you said, Dean's eyes going wide.

"Why the hell not?" he asked, Sam getting more annoyed the longer he stood there.

"None of those things would be a favor to me." you said, Dean barking out a laugh.

"So, you're gonna stand there and tell me that you don't love it when I-" Dean started to say, Sam interrupting.

"I'll do it! Just shut up, both of y0ou." Sam said, grabbing the box, steeling himself before poking his finger in the girl's mouth. "Guys, get me a bucket." he said, a pained expression on his face.

"Why?" you asked, leaning in closer to the box.

"You find something?" Dean asked, trying to look into the girl's mouth.

"No, I'm going to puke." Sam said, pulling his fingers out of the girl's mouth, shaking his hands like there was something on them.

"Wait, lift the lip up again." Dean said, pointing at her mouth.

"What? You want me to throw up, is that it?" Sam asked, Dean shaking his head.

"No, no, no, I think I saw something." he said as you pulled the box closer to you.

"If you want something done right." you muttered as you lifted the girl's lip, Dean leaning down to examine her gums.

"What is that, a hole?" Dean asked, your finger pressing down on her gum, a narrow, sharp tooth descending.

"It's a tooth." Sam said, a somewhat surprised look on his face.

"No. No, it isn't." you said, pulling your finger back, the tooth retreating back into the gum.

"Sam, that's a fang. Retractable set of vampire fangs." Dean said, the two of you sharing a look.

"You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me." you said, pulling off your gloves as you stepped back from the table.

"Well, this changes things." Sam said, his attention still on the girl's head.

"Ya think?" Dean sarcastically said, looking over to Sam, a heavy sigh falling from your lips.

Dean slowed the car to a stop in front of a rundown little bar, and turned in his seat to look at you and Sam, the two of you looking at the building. There were a few motorcycles parked out front, music drifting out the door when a couple of people walked inside.

"Hey, it's worth a look. I'd bet money that they've at least stopped in there once or twice. Bartender probably knows a thing or two. They see everything." you said, Dean taking one last look before slowly driving off to find a place to park.

Dean pushed open the door to the bar and walked inside, followed by Sam, with you bringing up the rear. You had been in countless little dives like this. They were usually your favorite places to hit, but something was different about this one. It was so loud. It wasn't the music, but the voices that were getting to you. It was almost as if every person in the bar had their own personal microphone, every mundane thought and conversation was booming in your head.

"Singer?" Dean said, stopping when he noticed that you were no longer by his side. "You okay?"

"Hmm?" you hummed, the overwhelming amount of noise distracting you.

"You okay?" Dean asked again, watching as you looked around the bar, your eyes settling on a man sitting alone at a table.

"Yeah, it's just so fuckin' loud in here." you said, Dean looking around the room, the bar seeming pretty quiet to him. "Come on. Let's get this over with." you said, your head starting to pound as you made your way to the bar, Sam and Dean sharing a look before joining you.

"How's it going?" Dean asked, the bartender looking up from cleaning glasses.

"Living the dream. What can I get for you?" he asked, your headache growing worse by the second.

"Three beers, please." Dean said, the bartender turning his back to grab the drinks, your fingers drumming anxiously on the bar.

"So, we're looking for some people." Sam said, the bartender huffing out a breath as cracked the top off a beer.

"Sure, hard to be lonely." he said, the corner of Sam's mouth turning up.

"Yeah. But, um, that's not what I meant." Sam said, pulling a fifty out of his pocket, your hand reaching out to stop him.

"Come on. I know you see everything that goes on in here. Surely you know who we're looking for." you said, an annoyed tone to your voice, a smug expression sliding onto the bartender's face.

"Maybe I do. Maybe I don't." he said, shrugging his shoulders, his reply agitating you further.

You released a slow breath, trying to keep yourself from blowing up, but the noise was making it hard for you to clear your mind.

"Alright, so these people, they would have moved here about six months ago, probably pretty fuckin' rowdy, like to drink-" you said, Dean jumping in.

"Yeah, real night owls, you know? Sleep all day, party all night." Dean said before taking a sip of his beer.

"Sounds like an interesting group. Can't say that I've seen anyone matching that description though." the bartender said, your hand slamming down on the bar.

"Would you look at that?" you said, glancing over to Dean. "He can't say. I think that's the biggest load of bullshit I've heard all day. Listen here, asshole. I know you fuckin' know something, and you're gonna tell me or..." you said, stopping a moment, wincing in pain. "Or I'm gonna come over that God damn bar and make you." you finished, Sam quickly slapping the fifty down on the bar.

"No need for all of that." the bartender said, grabbing the bill. "Barker farm got leased out a couple months ago. Real winners. They've been in here a lot. Drinkers. Noisy. I've had to 86 them once or twice." he finished, you gritting your teeth.

"Well, I'll be damned." you said, grabbing for your drink. "Funny how quickly you remembered that."

"Yeah." the bartender chuckled, "It's strange how that works."

"Thanks." Dean said, speaking up before you could say anything else, scared that you were going to start a fight.

Dean grabbed onto your arm and started to pull you towards the door, Sam quickly getting up from his seat to follow after the two of you. You jerked your arm out of his grip and ran for the door, your head pounding so hard, the noise unbearable at this point.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked once he made it outside, your eyes closed as your hands cradled your head.

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?" you asked, whipping around when two people walked past you into the bar.

"I thought you were gonna go over the damn bar in there. Why in the hell were you tryin' to pick a fight?" Dean asked, watching as you looked around like you were trying to find someone. "Singer?" Dean said, concerned by the pained expression on your face.

"Y/N?" Sam said, stepping closer, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder. "You okay?"

"You guys can't fuckin' hear that?" you asked, Sam giving you a puzzled look.

"Hear what?" Dean asked as you continued to look around. "Singer, hear what?"

"Hear what? All that fuckin' noise. It's like everybody is fuckin' yelling all at once." you said, looking between Sam and Dean, both of them looking at you a little strange. "I...I gotta get the fuck out of here." you said, the noise so loud that you couldn't even hear yourself think.

"Alright, alright, let's go" Dean said, pulling you into his side, looking down at you with concern as the three of you started to head towards an alley.

"There's someone-" you started to say, Dean cutting you off.

"I know." he said, aware that someone was following the three of you. "Sam." he said, Sam giving him a subtle nod of understanding as the three of you turned a corner, the person following after losing sight.

You tried to keep up as Sam and Dean quickly doubled back, intent on surprising the mystery, would be attacker, but you found yourself falling further and further behind. It seemed like every step you took only made the storm going on in your head rage harder, the intense pounding making your stomach churn.

"Singer?" Dean said, torn between wanting to make sure you were okay or taking out the threat.

"Go. I'll catch up." you said, trying your best to stay upright, Dean reluctantly leaving to catch up with Sam.

Once he was out of sight you fell to your knees, your hands coming up to cover yours ears, trying to block out the static like noise you were hearing. You found yourself curling into the fetal position, your heart pounding in your chest, the static suddenly fading, the sound replaced with an unfamiliar voice.

"Where the hell did they go?" the voice said, your hands flying from your ears as you scrambled to get to your feet. "They were just here." the voice said as you struggled to round the corner, Sam and Dean pinning the owner of the voice to the wall, Dean holding a knife to his throat.

"Smile." Dean ordered, a slightly panicked expression on the man's face.

"What?" he asked, before going quiet, his thoughts ringing out loudly in your head. "You gotta be kiddin' me. They think I'm a-" he thought, Dean speaking up before he could finish.

"Show us those pearly whites." Dean demanded, holding the knife steadily at his throat.

"Jesus Christ! This kid really thinks I'm a-" he thought, Dean pressing the knife into his skin a little harder. "Oh, for the love of... You want to stick that thing some place else? I'm not a-" he tried to say, you cutting him off this time.

"He's not a vampire." you blurted out, bent over, your hands on your knees as you tried your best to remain on your feet.

"I'm not a vampire." the man said, echoing you, Sam frowning. "Yeah, that's right. I heard you guys in there."

"What do you know about vampires?" Sam asked, giving the man a hard look.

"How to kill them." the man said before looking to Dean. "Now seriously, bro. That knife's making me itch." he said, trying to move away, Sam pinning him harder. "Whoa. Easy there, Chachi." he said before looking to you. "Come on, Sweetie, call off the dogs."

"Just give 'em some proof, asshole." you said, the man huffing out a laugh.

"Proof?" he said before slowly bringing his right hand to his lip and pulling it up to reveal a normal set of gums. "See? Fangless. Happy?" the man asked, Dean slowly removing the knife. "Now, who the hell are you people?"

The three of you walked back to the man's car with him after he introduced himself as a fellow hunter named Gordon Walker. There was something about him that you didn't trust. You just couldn't put your finger on it.

"Sam and Dean Winchester." Gordon said, pulling out a hidden compartment on his car to reveal an arsenal. "I can't believe it. You know I met your old man once? Hell of a guy. Great hunter." Gordon said, pausing a moment. "I heard he passed. I'm sorry. It's big shoes. But from what I hear you guys fill 'em. Great trackers, good in a tight spot."

"You seem to know a lot about our family." Dean said, a little uncomfortable with Gordon's amount of knowledge.

"Word travels fast. You know how hunters talk." Gordon said, Dean glancing to Sam.

"No, we don't actually." Dean said, you speaking up before Gordon could reply.

"It's a little fuckin' creepy if you ask me." you said, Gordon giving you a big, toothy smile.

"I heard you had quite a mouth on you. I was a little surprised when I saw you though." he said, your arms crossing over your chest.

"Yeah, why's that?" you asked, a defensive tone to your voice.

"I guess I was just expecting a little bit more after everything I've heard. I mean, you wouldn't expect someone related to Bobby Singer to look so-" Gordon started, Dean interrupting.

"Dude, if I were you, I'd stop talking." he said, you waving him off.

"No." you said, glancing at Dean before turning your attention back to Gordon. "So what?"

"You just...you don't really look like a hunter. A little out of shape, I guess. But, I'm sure it's hard to keep up with these guys when you are just used to doing all the behind the scenes stuff. You know, research and such. I guess it shouldn't be much of a surprise. It would make sense that Bobby would have only taught you that much." Gordon said, almost seeming as if he was trying to push your buttons.

"Why don't you take a couple steps this way, and I'll show you exactly what my dad fuckin' taught me." you said, Dean reaching out for you, Gordon cracking a smile.

"Guess I was a little off with the attack dog comment, but maybe you just have a big bark and no bite." he said, Dean pulling you to his side.

"So, um." Sam said, attempting to change the subject, the tension between you and Gordon thick. "So, those two vampires, they were yours, huh?"

"Yep." Gordon said, taking his eyes off you to look at Sam. "Been here two weeks."

"Two weeks and all you've got so far is two? Looks like you're the one who may be a little out of shape." you said, looking at him with complete disdain.

"Did you check out that Barker farm?" Dean quickly asked, hoping that Gordon would ignore your comment.

"It's a bust. Just a bunch of hippie freaks. Though they could kill you with that patchouli smell alone." Gordon said.

"Where's the nest, then?" you asked, Gordon's eyes flicking to you as he slid away his hidden compartment.

"I got this one covered." he said, Dean opening his mouth to speak, Gordon speaking before he could. "Look, don't get me wrong. It's a real pleasure meetin' you guys, but I've been on this thing for over a year. I killed a fang back in Austin, tracked the nest all the way up here. I'll finish it."

"We could help." Dean offered, Gordon subtly shaking his head.

"Thanks, but uh, something tells me that she doesn't work so well with others. Plus, I'm kind of the go at it alone type of guy." Gordon said, you rolling your eyes.

"Come on, man, I've been itching for a hunt, and don't worry about Singer. She's all business when she's out there." Dean said, hoping that Gordon would agree to let the three of you join him.

"Sorry. But hey, I hear there's a Chupacabra two states over. You go ahead and knock yourselves out." Gordon said before getting into his car. "It was real good meeting you, though. I'll buy you a drink on the flip side." he added before starting the car and driving away.

"You sure this is it?" Sam asked, Dean pulling the car to a stop in front of an old mill.

"That's his car." Dean said, nodding towards Gordon's parked car as he turned off the engine, his eyes finding you in the rearview mirror. "Maybe you should sit this one out." he said, noticing how you were rubbing your temples.

"I don't fuckin' need to sit out. I'm fine." you snapped, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly. "It's just a headache." you added before getting out of the car.

"It's not just a headache." Dean said, following after you, the two of you now staring each other down.

"I'm. Fine." you clipped out between clenched teeth. "Now, are we gonna stand here and argue all night, or are we gonna go do our God damn job?" you asked, storming off before Dean could answer.

Dean let out a low growl of frustration before turning to look at Sam, who was now standing by his side, "You know, sometimes I just wanna strangle her." he said, Sam laughing under his breath.

"Now you know how I feel." Sam said, glancing over at Dean before starting to follow after you.

"At least we can agree on that." Dean said, catching up to Sam.

"I was talkin' about you." Sam said, Dean scoffing.

"I am not that difficult." he fired back, Sam remaining quiet. "I'm not!"

The three of you made your way to the roof of the mill. Obvious signs of a struggle were ringing out through the otherwise quiet building, and you each picked up your pace. It wasn't long before the three of you came upon Gordon, who was struggling with a vampire. The vampire seemed to have the upper hand, Gordon flat on his back, the vampire turning on an electric saw before lowering it, Gordon in danger of being decapitated.

"Sam!" you yelled, Sam quickly pulling Gordon to safety while Dean attacked the vampire, pinning him under the saw. "Watch out!" you said, Dean moving back enough for you to lower the blade, decapitating the vampire and spraying both yourself and Dean with blood in the process.

"So uh, I guess I gotta buy you that drink." Gordon breathed out, Sam looking at you and Dean with a somewhat worried expression.

You were currently sitting around a table at a bar with Sam, Dean, and Gordon. You were sandwiched in between Sam and Dean, the three of you almost squished together on one side of the table, leaving Gordon sitting across from you. You had reservations about coming along. Your head was still pounding, the headache growing worse the longer you were in the crowded room. Just like before voices were filtering in nonstop, your head full of the patrons of the bar's incoherent, inane thoughts.

"Ooo, he's cute. Don't see many that look like that in here." the waitress thought as she approached your table, your eyes flicking up to her. "Definitely gonna leave him my number."

"Don't even fuckin' think about it." you said, everyone giving you a puzzled look, the waitress stopping before she sat the new drinks on the table.

"I'm sorry. I thought you guys ordered another round." she said, looking around the table.

"We did." Dean said, reaching for his wallet, Gordon waving him off.

"No, no, I got it." Gordon said before looking to you. "I mean, if that's okay with you."

"Fine by me." you said, your arms crossing over your chest as Gordon pulled out his wallet.

"Come on." Dean said, wanting to pay for the round.

"I insist." Gordon said, holding up his finger at Dean before pulling out some cash and handing it to the waitress. "Thank you, Sweetie." he said, the waitress lingering a little longer than she should have.

"Look at those lips. They're so-" the waitress thought, you quickly speaking up before she could finish her thought.

"Okay, you can go now." you said, waving her off, the waitress scowling at you before quickly turning on her heel, Dean looking to you.

"What's your deal, Singer?" he asked, Gordon raising his shot glass before you could reply.

"Another one bites the dust." he said, Dean reaching out to clink his glass against Gordon's.

"That's right." Dean said before throwing back his shot, looking to you when you left yours untouched.

"What's goin' on with you?" he asked, nudging you with his elbow.

"Nothin'." you said, leaning back in your seat, Dean watching you closely trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Dean." Gordon laughed, pulling Dean's attention back to him. "You gave that big ass fang one hell of a haircut, my friend."

"That was all Singer." Dean said, Gordon seeming to ignore his statement.

"That was beautiful, absolutely beautiful." Gordon said, you and Sam sharing a look, his posture mirroring yours, his hands clasped together in front of him.

"This guy's a total psycho." Sam thought, you nodding in agreement.

"Tell me about it." you blurted out, Sam's eyes going wide.

"What?" Sam asked, you suddenly realizing what you did.

"Uh, nothing." you said, waving him off. "I was, uh, I was just agreeing with...Gordon." you choked out, Sam eyeing you suspiciously.

"What are you hiding?" Gordon thought, you keeping your focus on Sam, his thoughts suddenly mingling with Gordon's.

"Wait, can you hear me?" Sam thought, you giving him a subtle nod, Gordon's thoughts overpowering his.

"There's somethin' off about those two." he thought, you trying your best not to react, Dean looking over to you and Sam.

"You guys alright? Singer? Sammy?" he asked before taking a drink of his beer.

"Fine." you and Sam said in unison, Gordon chuckling.

"Well, Singer, Sammy, lighten up a little." Gordon said, both you and Sam giving him a dirty look.

"He's the only one who gets to call me that." you said, nodding towards Dean, Sam speaking at the same time as you.

"They're the only ones who gets to call me that." Sam said, Gordon holding up his hands in front of him, signaling that he meant no offense.

"Okay. No offense meant. Just celebrating a little. Job well done." Gordon said, Sam nodding.

"Right, well, decapitations aren't my idea of a good time, I guess." Sam fired back, you shifting uncomfortably in your seat, the noise in your head picking up again.

"Oh, come on, man, it's not like it was human. You've gotta have a little more fun with your job. I mean, look at what Sing-" Gordon said, stopping short when you shot him a look. "Look at what Y/N did out there."

"See?" Dean said, pointing his finger. "That's what I've been trying to tell him. You could learn a thing or two from this guy."

"I highly fuckin' doubt that." you said before throwing back your shot, Dean's eyes cutting to you.

"Yeah." Sam said, looking at you, taking notice of how uncomfortable you looked. "Look, we're not gonna bring you guys down. We're just gonna go back to the motel."

"What? You sure?" Dean asked, rubbing a hand over his face. "Singer, come on."

"No, Sam's right." you said, Dean reaching for your hand, Gordon's eyes settling on your gloves.

"You okay?" he softly asked, your eyes flicking to Gordon.

"I'm fine." you said, Dean reaching into his pocket for the keys.

"Sammy?" he said, tossing him the keys. "Remind me to beat the buzzkill out of you guys later, all right." he said, the two of you looking at him a moment before turning to leave, Sam's hand on your elbow, escorting you out.

"Something I said?" Gordon asked, watching the two of you go.

"Nah, nah, he just gets that way sometimes, and she...she's just..." Dean said, trailing off as he picked up his drink. "Tell you what. Match you quarters for the next round." he added, holding up his shot glass.

You managed to make it out of the bar, but had to stop as soon as you got outside, your legs feeling like they were going to give out on you. You pulled away from Sam and braced yourself against the wall, your back pressed flat against it, your eyes closed as you tried to clear your mind. The noise was considerably less than it was in the bar, but the intense pain of the headache was making it hard for you to focus. Background noise was still filtering out from the bar, along with the thoughts of the people who passed by you, most of them thinking that you had just had too much to drink.

"Y/N?' Sam said, his hands on your shoulders. "Hey, you okay? What's wrong?" he asked, sounding a little panicked.

"I'm fine. I just need a minute." you said, your eyes still closed.

"Alright, alright." Sam said, trying to think of what to do, his thoughts booming around your head. "Okay, what do I do? She doesn't look good. Dean. I gotta go get Dean." he thought.

"Don't." you said, opening your eyes to see Sam giving you a puzzled look. "Don't go get Dean. Gordon is already suspicious. He thinks I'm hiding something. It's...it's just a headache, like what you get with your visions."

"Yeah, but that doesn't happen to you anymore, right? I mean, what if something- Sam started, you interrupting him.

"Maybe it's because this is something new. I don't know. I just need to go back to the room and sleep." you said, your knees buckling, Sam catching you before you could hit the ground.

"Whoa. Whoa. I gotcha." Sam said, pulling you back to your feet. "Come on. Let's get you to the car." he added, easily scooping you up into his arms.

"Put me down. I can walk." you mumbled, hating to show any sign of weakness.

"I know you can, but just let me help. Makes me feel useful." Sam lied, knowing that you wouldn't be able to make it more than a couple of steps without falling.

"Bullshit. You know that I'd fall flat on my ass if you weren't here." you said, Sam chuckling, trying desperately not to think about how worried he was, wanting to go back inside and tell Dean. "Sam, it's just a headache, but I'm not up to kickin' Gordon's sorry ass right now, so just get me out of here. You can talk to Dean later."

Sam got you into the Impala without too much hassle, his eyes looking from the road to you every few seconds. You were slumped in the seat with your head resting against the door. Sam could tell that you were in a great deal of pain, but he knew that you would never admit it. You would tell him that it was nothing, a simple headache, choosing to downplay the situation.

Sam pulled the car into the motel parking lot and turned off the engine before looking over to you. You hadn't moved, your eyes were still closed, your brow furrowed. Sam thought about just staying in the car, scared to disturb you.

"I'm not gonna break, Sam. It's just a headache." you said, opening your eyes and pushing yourself up in the seat, your hand reaching for the door handle.

"Wait." Sam said, rushing to get out of the car. "Just let me help."

"Stop coddling me. It's just a-" you said, Sam out of the car before you could finish, a sigh falling from your lips as you watched him rush to your side of the car.

"I know, it's just a headache, but you're not in the shape to stop me. So, we're gonna do this my way." Sam said as he helped you out of the car.

"Yeah, yeah, don't test me." you said, Sam scooping you up into his arms before closing the car door with his foot and heading towards the room.

"Just put me down." you said, Sam struggling to get the room key out of his pocket.

"I can get it." he said, finally managing to free the key and open the door.

"You gonna carry me the rest of my life?" you asked, Sam kicking the door closed behind him.

"I might." Sam said, you huffing out a breath as he gently sat you down on the bed you shared with Dean. "Now, don't move." he said, noticing that your eyes were closed again.

Sam quickly turned off the lamp, and stumbled over your duffel as he tried to get back to your side. You cracked open your eyes, the darkness of the room a major relief. You turned your head to see Sam pulling back the covers, your eyes following after him as he got on his knees in front of you to pull off your boots.

"Sam, I can do-" you started, Sam looking up at you.

"What did I say?" he asked, you mumbling an inaudible answer as he got to his feet and helped you out of your jacket. "Alright, lay down."

"What?! You're gonna let me do something myself?" you sarcastically asked, Sam helping you move up the bed anyway.

"Okay, I'll be right back." he said, covering you up before heading for the bathroom.

Sam grabbed a washcloth from the rack next to the sink and turned on the cold water, letting the cloth soak up the water before wringing it out. He made his way back to your bedside and placed the cloth across your forehead, apologizing when the shock of the cold made you flinch.

"Sam." you said after a few moments, feeling the bed dip behind you.

"Hmm?" Sam hummed as he removed the hair tie from your hair to unbraid it, his fingers starting to gently massage your scalp.

"Thank you." you softly said, your body finally starting to relax.

"Anytime. Just get some rest." he said, thinking back to when the two of you would share a bed as children, and all of the times he comforted you after a bad dream. "Everything's gonna be okay. I won't let anything get you." he added, echoing back the same words he told you all those years ago.

"...So, I pick up this crossbow, and I hit that ugly sucker with a silver tipped arrow right in his heart." Dean said, Gordon giving him a big smile. "Sammy's waiting in the car, and uh, me and my dad take the thing into the woods, burn it to a crisp. I'm sitting there and I'm looking into the fire, and I'm thinking to myself, I'm sixteen years old. Most kids my age are worried about pimples, prom dates. I'm seeing things that they'll never even know. Never even dream of. So, right then, I just sort of-" Dean said, Gordon interrupting.

"Embraced the life." Gordon said, Dean nodding.

"Yeah." Dean said, Gordon giving him a small smile.

"Yeah." Gordon said, pausing a moment. "And what about Y/N?"

"What about her?"Dean asked, picking up his drink.

"When did she join up with you guys? I mean, you don't really see many hunters doing that whole couple thing. I honestly kind of feel bad for the guy." Gordon said, a confused expression on Dean's face.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, Gordon holding up his hands.

"I didn't mean anything by it. It's just she looks like she could eat the guy alive. Feel a little sorry for him, that's all." Gordon said, Dean huffing out a laugh.

"Wait. You think Singer and Sam are-" Dean said, laughing loudly as he shook his head.

"Guess, I read it wrong." Gordon said, Dean nodding as he took another drink.

"Yeah." Dean said, Gordon watching him closely.

"She does seem to have a soft spot for him. Maybe there's something they aren't tellin' you." Gordon said, Dean starting to get a little aggravated.

"Why are you so concerned with her?" Dean asked, a bit of a defensive tone to his voice.

"Just makin' conversation, man. I thought we were swappin' stories." Gordon said, a big smile on his face, Dean thinking for a moment.

"They're...they're just friends. She's actually, uh, it's actually me and her." Dean said, Gordon chuckling.

"No, shit? You know, I can see it now. You two make a lot more sense." he said, Dean looking at him to continue. "I saw her out there. She was ruthless, didn't even hesitate, but she seems a little guarded."

"Yeah." Dean said, pausing a moment, a little uncomfortable with all of Gordon's questions about you. "How'd you get started?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"First time I saw a vampire I was barely eighteen. Home alone with my sister. I hear the window break in her room. I grab my dad's gun, run in, try to get it off her. Too late. So, I shoot the damn thing. Which of course is about as useful as snapping it with a rubber band. It rushes me, picks me up, flings me across the room, knocks me out cold. When I wake up, the vampire's gone, my sister's gone." Gordon said, a distant look in his eyes as he was telling the story.

"And then?" Dean asked, completely invested.

"And then..." Gordon said, pausing a moment. "Try explaining that one to your family. So, I just left home. And then bummed around looking for information: how you track 'em, how you kill 'em. And I found that fang. It was my first kill." Gordon said, a wild look in his eyes.

"Sorry about your sister." Dean said, holding his glass up to him.

"Yeah." Gordon said, nodding, that distant look still in his eyes. "She was beautiful. I can still see her, you know? The way she was. But hey, that was a long time ago. I mean, your dad. It's gotta be rough." Gordon said, Dean looking down at the table.

"Yeah." Dean said, his hand fidgeting with his ear. "Yeah, you know...he was just one of those guys. Took some terrible beatings, but just kept coming. So, you're always thinking to yourself, he's indestructible. He'll always be around, nothing can kill my dad. Then just like that." Dean said, snapping his fingers. "He's gone. I can't talk about this to Sammy. You know, I gotta keep my game face on." he said, clearing his throat. "But, uh, the truth is I'm not handling it very well."

"And what about Y/N? Can you talk to her?" Gordon asked, Dean looking down at the table, quiet for a moment.

"Yeah, but most of the time I don't have to. She just kind of gets it, you know? Man, she's been there when no one else has." Dean quietly said, shaking his head. "I, uh, I kinda don't know what I'd do without her." he said, laughing under his breath about how open he was being. "But, I still just feel like I have this-"

"Hole inside you?" Gordon said, Dean looking up at him. "And it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker?" Gordon asked, Dean subtly nodding. "Good. You can use it. Keeps you hungry. Trust me. There's plenty out there than needs killing, and this'll help you do it. Dean, it's not a crime to need your job."

Sam eased himself out of the bed, being careful not to wake you. He knew that you needed the rest, and even though he didn't want to leave you alone, he had a few things he needed to clear up. He grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and crept towards the door, looking back at you over his shoulder one last time before leaving the room.

Sam pulled his phone from his pocket and quickly dialed, the phone ringing a few times before someone answered, "Harvelle's Roadhouse."

"Hey, Ellen, uh, Sam Winchester." Sam said as he started to walk around the parking lot.

"Sam." Ellen said, a smile on her face. "It's good to hear from you. You kids are okay, aren't ya?"

"Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine." Sam said, pausing a moment. "Got a question."

"Yeah, shoot." Ellen said, ready to help.

"You ever run across a guy named Gordon Walker?" Sam asked, the gravel crunching under his feet.

"Yeah, I know Gordon." Ellen said, Sam a little relieved that she might have some answers.

"And?" Sam asked, wanting her to continue.

"Well, he's a real good hunter. Why are you askin', Sweetie?" Ellen asked, Sam pausing a moment.

"Well, we ran into him on a job and we're kinda working with him, I guess." Sam said, Ellen quickly speaking up.

"Don't do that, Sam." she said, a serious tone to her voice.

"I-I thought you said he was a good hunter." Sam said, a little confused.

"Yeah, and Hannibal Lecter's a good psychiatrist. Look, he is dangerous to everyone and everything around him. If he's working on a job you kids just let him handle it and you move on." Ellen sternly said.

"Ellen-" Sam tried, Ellen cutting him off.

"No, Sam. You- just listen to what I'm telling you, okay?" Ellen said, Sam silent for a moment.

"Right, okay." Sam said before hanging up the phone, the answers he hoped to get only leaving him with more questions.

"Know why I love this life?" Gordon asked, his drink in his hand.

"Hmmm?" Dean hummed, giving him his attention.

"It's all black and white. There's no maybe. You find the bad thing, kill it. See, most people spend their lives in shades of gray. Is this right? Is that wrong? Not us." Gordon said before taking a drink, the corner of Dean's mouth turning up.

"Not sure Sammy would agree with you, but uh. " Dean said, taking a drink.

"Doesn't seem like your brother's much like us." Gordon said, Dean staring at him, a little startled. "I'm not saying he's wrong. Just different. There's something about her that's a little different too. I can't put my finger on it, but I know you know what I'm talkin' about. But you and me? We were born to do this. It's in our blood."

Sam stopped by the vending machine and bought a soda before walking back to the room. He paused at the door, thinking he heard something. He listened for a moment, thinking that you may be up, before cautiously opening the door.

"Y/N." Sam whispered, not seeing you in the bed, a dark figure suddenly jumping him from behind.

Sam managed to knock his attacker down, turning around just in time to see another man coming out of nowhere. He quickly knocked the man down, the first attacker rising to his feet and hitting Sam over the head with a telephone, Sam falling to the floor unconscious.

Sam was bound to a chair, a gag in his mouth, and a hood over his head. He started to move his head around, his eyes blinking rapidly to adjust to the light when the hood was pulled off. Standing before him was the bartender from earlier, Sam's brow furrowing when he recognized him. The bartender opened his mouth, revealing a mouthful of sharp fangs, and leaned down towards Sam. Sam started to struggle in the chair as the vampire leaned in closer, a woman suddenly appearing in the doorway.

"Wait! Step back, Eli." she ordered, Eli pulling back, his fangs retracting, the woman walking over towards Sam.

"My name's Lenore. I'm not going to hurt you." she said, pulling off Sam's gag. "We just need to talk." she added, Sam pulling at his restraints as he looked around the room, searching for you.

"Where is she, my friend? I know you took her too." Sam said, Lenore looking to Eli, giving him a subtle nod.

Sam watched as Eli left the room, his eyes on the doorway as he waited for him to return. A few moments later Eli walked back in, dragging you along with him. Sam felt a wave of relief wash over him as soon as he saw you.

"Y/N, you okay?" Sam asked, Eli pulling off your hood and gag.

"Oh, I'm just fuckin' peachy." you said before looking over to Eli. "I knew I should have kicked your ass back at the bar." you said, Eli baring his fangs.

"Eli!" Lenore snapped, Eli's fangs retracting, Lenore turning her attention back to Sam. "Please, we just want to talk."

"Talk? Yeah, okay, but I might have a tough time paying attention to much besides Eli's teeth." Sam said, Lenore glancing to Eli before looking back to Sam.

"He won't hurt you, either one of you. You have my word." Lenore said, her statement causing you to scoff.

"It looks like he's plannin' out a full course menu in his fuckin' head. So you can take your word and shove it up your fuckin' undead ass." you said, a low growl emanating from Eli.

"Listen lady, no offense but you're not the first vampires we've met." Sam said, glancing to you, noticing that you were trying your best to put on a tough face.

"We're not like the others. We don't kill humans, and we don't drink their blood. We haven't for a long time." Lenore explained, looking between you and Sam.

"What is this, some kind of joke?" Sam asked, glancing to you before looking back to Lenore.

"It's gotta be. You assholes are all the same, every last fuckin' one of you." you said, Lenore turning to face you.

"Notice you're still alive." she said to you before looking back to Sam. "Both of you."

"Okay, uh, correct me if I'm wrong here, but shouldn't you be starving to death?" Sam asked, Lenore looking to Eli.

"We've found other ways. Cattle blood." she said, Sam quiet for a moment.

"You're telling us you're responsible for all the-" Sam started, Lenore interrupting.

"It's not ideal, in fact, it's disgusting. But it allows us to get by." she said, your eyes focused on her.

"Okay, uh, why?" Sam asked, a shocked expression on your face.

"Sam, you can't fall for this bullshit. You know what they are, what they fuckin' do to people!" you yelled, Lenore walking over to you, Eli's grip still tight on your arm.

"I told you we were different. We do what we do for survival. No deaths, no missing locals, no reason for people like you to come looking for people like us." she said, pausing a moment as she turned back to Sam. "We blend in. Our kind is practically extinct. Turns out we weren't as high up on the food chain as we imagined." she explained, Eli beyond frustrated.

"Why are we explaining ourselves to these killers?" Eli asked, your laugh ringing out loudly through the room.

"You're fuckin' delusional, both of you." you said, Eli looking to you.

"If anyone's delusional here, it's you. What does your kind think of you runnin' with hunters?" he asked, your eyes narrowing at him. "And you don't think we can blend in? Look at you." he said, your heart pounding in your chest.

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?" you asked, Eli leaning in close to you and taking a deep breath.

"I've never smelled a human that smells like you." he said, pulling back. "What are you? Maybe I could tell if I had a little taste."

"It would be the last God damn thing you ever did." you spat back, Eli biting down on his bottom lip.

"Eli!" Lenore snapped, Eli looking to her.

"We choke on cow's blood so that none of them suffer. Tonight they murdered Conrad, and they celebrated." Eli said, looking back at you.

"Too bad you won't be able to see what I do after I get rid of you." you said, Eli lunging towards you.

"Eli, that's enough!" Lenore snapped, Sam clearing his throat.

"Yeah, Eli, that's enough." Sam said before looking to you. "You too."

"What's done is done." Lenore said to Eli before turning back to Sam. "We're leaving this town tonight."

"Then why did you bring us here? Why are you even talking to us?" Sam asked, Lenore quiet for a moment.

"Believe me, I'd rather not. But I know your kind. Once you have the scent you'll keep tracking us. It doesn't matter where we go. Hunters will find us." she said, glancing back at you.

"You're really asking us not to follow you?" you asked, Lenore nodding.

"We have a right to live. We're not hurting anyone." Lenore said, you shaking your head in disbelief.

"Right, so you keep saying, but give me one good reason why we should believe you." Sam said, Lenore leaning down so that she was in his face.

"Fine." she said, Sam looking a little nervous. "You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to let you go, both of you." she said, both you and Sam looking a little startled. "Take them back. Not a mark on them." she ordered, Eli putting your hood back on before leading you from the room.

"This is the best pattern I can establish." Gordon said, running his finger along a map, both him and Dean sitting at the motel table discussing strategy. "It's sketchy at best."

"Looks like it's all coming from this side of town. Which means the nest would be around here someplace, right?" Dean asked, pointing out a spot on the map before looking up at Gordon.

"Yep, that's what I'm thinking. Problem is, there's thirty five, forty farms out there. I've searched about half of them already, but nothing yet. They're covering their tracks real good." Gordon said, looking down at the map.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to search the other half." Dean said before looking down at his watch. "What time is it? Where are they?"

"Car's parked outside." Gordon said, looking out the window. "Probably went for a walk. Sam seems like the take a walk type."

"Yeah, he is, but not Singer. He'd probably have to-" Dean started, looking over his shoulder when he heard the door open, Sam walking in. "Where you been? Where's Singer?" he asked, craning his neck to look around Sam.

"Can I talk to you alone?" Sam asked, Dean turning to Gordon.

"You mind chillin' out for a couple minutes?" Dean asked, Gordon shaking his head as Dean stood up from his chair, Sam already on his way out of the room.

"Dean-" Sam started, Dean cutting him off.

"Where's Singer?" he asked, not seeing you anywhere.

"By the car." Sam replied, Dean brushing past him to get to the car, stopping when he saw you sitting on the ground, your back pressed against the front tire.

"Where've you been? You alright?" Dean asked, crouching down in front of you.

"Fine." you said, feeling completely drained, Sam coming to a stop behind Dean.

"Dean, maybe we've got to rethink this hunt." Sam said, Dean looking up at him.

"What are you talking about? Where were you guys?" he asked, Sam's eyes flicking to you.

"In the nest." you said, Dean whipping to face you, a surprised look on his face.

"You found it?" he asked, Sam speaking before you could.

"They found us, man." Sam said, a barrage of questions running through Dean's mind.

"How'd you get out? How many'd you kill?" he asked, eager for answers.

"None." you said, Dean shaking his head, a worried expression on his face.

"None?" he asked, you giving him a small nod. "Shit. Are you hurt? Did they..." he started to ask, trailing off as he started to inspect you for injuries.

"De, I'm fine." you said, placing your hands on his to still them.

"Well, they didn't just let you guys go." Dean said, leaning back on his heels.

"That's exactly what they did." Sam said, Dean looking a little shocked as he got to his feet.

"All right, well, where is it?" Dean asked, looking between the two of you.

"We were blindfolded." you said, Sam quickly jumping in.

"We don't know." he said, Dean looking skeptical.

"Well, one of you has to know something." Dean said, watching as you and Sam shared a look.

"The bridge." you said, pausing a moment. "Outside of town."

"Yeah, we went over it, but Dean, listen. Maybe we shouldn't go after them." Sam said, Dean's eyes on Sam as you struggled to get to your feet.

"Why not?" Dean asked, turning to look at you, panicking when he saw you. "I thought you said you were okay. What the hell is going on?" he asked, reaching out to catch you as you wobbled on your feet.

"Nothin'." you said, easing yourself back against the car.

"Yeah, it sure looks like nothin'. Somebody better start fuckin' talking." Dean said, frustration in his voice. "What did they do to you?"

"They didn't do anything? It's-" you tried to say, Dean cutting you off.

"They clearly did somethin'. You-" Dean said, Sam stepping in.

"She's been like that since we left the bar." he said, Dean looking to him.

"What?" he asked, a look of hurt flashing across his face as he looked back to you. "Why didn't you tell me? You should have came in and got me."

"That's not important right now. You need to listen to Sam." you said, Dean shaking his head. "De, just listen."

"Look, I don't think they're like other vampires. I don't think they're killing people." Sam said, Dean scoffing.

"You're joking." Dean said, Sam giving him a look. "Then how do they stay alive? Or undead, or whatever the hell they are?"

"The cattle mutilations." you said, Dean's eyes flicking to you.

"They said they live off the blood." Sam added, Dean shaking his head in disbelief.

"And you guys believed them?" he asked, looking between the two of you.

"Look at us, Dean. They let us go without a scratch." Sam said, holding out his arms.

"Wait, so you're saying..." Dean said, pausing a moment. "No, man, no way. I don't know why they let you go. I don't really care. We find 'em. We waste 'em." Dean said, starting to walk away.

"Why?" Sam asked, Dean stopping in his tracks, turning around to face him.

"What part of vampires don't you understand, Sam? If it supernatural, we kill it, end of story. That's our job." Dean said before looking to you. "You can't agree with this shit."

"I-" you started, pausing when you thought about what Eli said to you about "your kind", "They could have easily killed us, but they didn't." you said, Dean reeling back.

"Dean, that is not our job. Our job is hunting evil, and if these things aren't killing people, they're not evil!" Sam said, starting to raise his voice.

"Of course they're killing people. That's what they do. They're all the same, Sam. They're not human, okay? We have to exterminate every last one of them." Dean argued, your eyes falling to the ground, the not human remark hitting you hard.

"No, Dean, I don't think so, all right? Not this time." Sam said, trying desperately to get his point across.

"Gordon's been on those vamps for a year, man, he knows." Dean shot back, gesturing towards the room.

"Gordon?" Sam asked, the mention of his name enraging you.

"Yes." Dean said, Sam shaking his head.

"You're taking his world for it?" Sam asked, Dean nodding.

"That's right." Dean said, you pushing yourself off the car, no longer able to keep your mouth shut.

"Can't you see what he is?" you yelled, Dean opening his mouth to speak. "No, you need to fuckin' listen. He's bad news, Dean."

"Ellen agreed." Sam said, jumping in before Dean could reply to you.

"You guys called Ellen?" Dean asked, an annoyed look on his face.

"I did." Sam said, Dean pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"And I'm supposed to listen to her? We barely know her. No thanks. I'll go with Gordon." Dean said, Sam nodding.

"Right, cause Gordon is such an old friend." Sam said, you moving in front of him to stand toe to toe with Dean.

"You do that, just go off with fuckin' Gordon." you said, Dean furrowing his brow.

"Singer, what's your fuckin' problem with the guy?" Dean asked, throwing up his hands.

"My problem? My fuckin' problem is that Gordon is the type of guy that doesn't see shades of gray." you said, your answer only seeming to frustrate Dean more.

"So, why do you care?" he asked, you shaking your head as you looked away from him.

"Because that's what I am, De!" you yelled, turning back to face him. "When Gordon looks at someone like me it only ends one way."

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Dean asked, a heavy sigh falling from your lips.

"If it's supernatural we kill it. They're not human. We exterminate every last one of them." you said, echoing his words back to him. "You said it yourself, and Gordon won't think twice."

"Don't do that. You're not-" Dean said, shaking his head, you cutting him off.

"I'm not human, at least not all the way." you said, Dean looking away from you. "You see, shade of gray."

"Don't fuckin' stand there and compare yourself to one of those things! You're nothing...Gordon wouldn't-" Dean tried to say, you interrupting him again.

"He would. That's why I wouldn't let Sam go back in the bar and tell you. I fuckin' heard what he was thinkin', De. He knows I'm hiding something, and he's not gonna stop until he finds out what it is." you said, Dean looking as though he refused to believe you.

"What do you mean you heard what he was thinking? You didn't touch him." Dean said, shaking his head, you shrugging your shoulders.

"I didn't have to. I don't know what it is. I don't know what fuckin' happened, but I heard what he was thinking. And, I know that he wouldn't think twice about something like me." you said, Dean looking away from you.

"No, no, he wouldn't..." Dean said, trailing off when he remembered what Gordon said about this life being black or white, Sam stepping forward.

"It's not just that. You don't think I can see what this is?" Sam asked, Dean looking to him.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked, shaking his head, trying to take everything in.

"He's a substitute for Dad, isn't he? A poor one." Sam said, your hand reaching out for him.

"Sam." you warned, knowing that it wasn't the right time to bring up John.

"Shut up, Sam." Dean said, trying to laugh off his comment as he turned around.

"He's not even close, Dean." Sam said following after him. "Not on his best day." he added, Dean turning around to face him.

"You know what? I'm not even going to talk about this." Dean said, shaking his head.

"You know, you slap on this big fake smile, but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory." Sam said, Dean just staring at him.

"Sam, stop." you said, Sam shaking his head.

"He needed to hear it." Sam said, Dean nodding.

"Okay." Dean whispered, starting to turn to leave, but deciding against it, his fist flying and striking Sam hard on the face.

"God damn it, Dean!" you yelled, stepping in front of him, pushing hard against his chest. "What the fuck was that shit?" you asked, turning to Sam before he could answer, your hands flying to his face, trying to make sure that he was okay.

"You can hit me all you want. It won't change anything." Sam said, Dean giving him a cold look.

"I'm going to that nest. You guys don't want to tell me where it is, fine. I'll find it myself." Dean said, looking between the two of you before turning to head back to the room.

"Dean." Sam said, following after him.

"Sam, wait." you said, Sam turning back to look at you before walking towards the room, you shaking your head as you followed after him.

"Gordon?" Dean called out, looking around the room, Gordon nowhere in sight.

"You think he went after them?" Sam asked, as he looked around the room.

"Probably." Dean said, looking to him.

"There's no fuckin' probably about it. You know he did." you said, giving Dean a hard look.

"Dean, we have to stop him." Sam said, shaking his head.

"Really, Sam? Because I saw we lend a hand." Dean fired back, frustrated with the two of you.

"Just give me the benefit of the doubt, would you?" Sam asked, you stepping to his side.

"You owe him that." you said, you and Dean staring at each other for a moment.

"Yeah, we'll see." Dean said, pausing a moment. "I'll drive. Give me the keys." he said to Sam, Sam walking towards the table where he put the keys.

"He snaked the keys." Sam said, a shocked look on his face, your hands coming up to cover your face.

"Well, that only leaves us one fuckin' choice then." you said, looking at the two of them before walking out the door.

"I can't believe this." Dean said, trying to hotwire the Impala. "I just fixed her up, too." he added, the car starting. "So, the bridge, is that, uh, is that all you guys got?"

"The bridge was four and a half minutes from their farm." Sam said, tracing his finger along a map, you leaning up from the back seat.

"How do you know?" Dean asked, looking over at the two of you.

"I counted." Sam said, looking up at him before returning his attention back to the map. "They took a left out of the farm."

"Then turned right onto a dirt road." you said, your finger tapping a spot on the map, Sam nodding.

"Followed that for two minutes, slightly up hill." Sam said, you jumping in, your finger tracing the map along with his.

"Then took another quick right and we hit the bridge." you said, Dean looking at the two of you, impressed.

"You guys are good. You're both a monster pain in the ass, but you're good." he said, putting the car into drive.

"Yeah, you'd know a thing or two about being a pain in the ass." you said, leaning back into your seat, Dean huffing out a breath as he drove off.

"Sam, Dean, Y/N, Come on in." Gordon said, the three of you walking into the farmhouse to see Lenore bloody and tied to a chair.

"Hey, Gordon, what's going on?" Dean asked, Gordon looking over to him.

"Just poisoning Lenore here with some dead man's blood." Gordon nonchalantly said, the three of you sharing a look. "She's going to tell us where all her little friends are, aren't you?" Gordon asked, looking to Lenore before turning back to Dean. "Wanna help?"

"Look, man-" Dean started, looking down at Lenore, only able to see you sitting there in her spot.

"Grab a knife. I was just about to start in on the fingers." Gordon said, dragging his knife across Lenore's arm, black veins tracing away from the cut, Lenore weakly gasping.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, let's all just chill out, huh?" Dean said, Gordon turning to face him.

"I'm completely chill." Gordon said, a big smile on his face.

"Pretty sure you meant to say batshit crazy." you said, Gordon looking to you, his eyes crazed.

"Gordon, put the knife down." Sam said, going to step towards him, Dean's hand on his chest stopping him.

"Sounds like it's Sam and Y/N that needs to chill. They're gettin' into your head, man. Can't you see that?" Gordon asked, waving the knife in his hand.

"Just step away from her, all right?" Sam said, holding out a hand to him, Lenore sucking in weak, labored breaths.

"You're right." Gordon said, shutting the case of weapons he had on the table. "I'm wasting my time here. This bitch will never talk." Gordon said, unsheathing a large knife. "Might as well put her out of her misery." he said, turning to look at the three of you. "I just sharpened it, so it's completely humane."

"Alright, you fuckin' psycho." you said, walking over to Lenore, Dean trying to pull you back, you jerking out of his reach. "I'm letting her go."

"You're not doing a damn thing." Gordon said, stepping in front of you, his knife now pointed at you.

"Go ahead and try me. I've been wanting to kick your ass since I fuckin' met you." you gritted out, looking up at him with no fear.

"Hey, hey, hey, Gordon, let's talk about this." Dean said, taking slow, easy steps towards him.

"What's there to talk about?" Gordon asked, looking over to Dean, his knife still pointed towards you. "It's like I said, Dean. No shades of gray." he said, looking back to you.

"Yeah, I hear you. And I know how you feel." Dean said, his voice even, Gordon turning to look at him.

"Do you?" Gordon asked, Sam taking a few careful steps towards you.

"The vampire that killed your sister deserved to die, but this one-" Dean tried to say, Gordon's laughter cutting him off.

"Killed my sister?" Gordon said, pausing. "That filthy fang didn't kill my sister. It turned her. It made her one of them. So I hunted her down, and I killed her myself." Gordon said, his eyes wild as he looked at you.

"You did what?" Dean asked, shocked.

"It wasn't my sister anymore. It wasn't human. I didn't blink." Gordon said, tapping his knife to his temple before pointing it at Dean. "And neither would you."

"So you knew all along, then?" Sam asked, Gordon looking to him, his knife pointed back to you. "You knew about the vampires. You knew they weren't killing anyone. You knew about the cattle. And you just didn't care."

"Of course he knew. The guy is a fuckin' nutjob. He doesn't care about anything but himself." you said, Gordon poking the point of the knife into your skin.

"Care about what? A nest of vampires suddenly acting nice? Taking a little time out from sucking innocent people? And we're supposed to buy that? Trust me." Gordon said, turning towards Lenore. "It doesn't change what they are. And I can prove it." he said, grabbing onto your arm, running his blade across it, before spinning you around and holding his knife to your throat, dragging you towards Lenore.

"Let her go." Dean said, pulling his gun. "Now!"

"Relax, if I wanted to kill her she'd already be on the floor. Just making a little point." Gordon said, holding your arm over Lenore, your blood dripping down onto her face, her fangs extending.

"Hey!" Dean barked, worried about what he was going to do to you.

"You think she's so different? Still want to save her? Look at her." Gordon said, the three of you looking at Lenore, her mouth open as she hissed. "They're all the same. Evil, bloodthirsty." Gordon said, Lenore getting control of herself, her fangs retracting as she turned her face away.

"No, no." Lenore said, Dean a little surprised by her control.

"You hear her, asshole?" you asked, Gordon's grip tightening on you.

"No, no." Lenore said again, her head turned to the side, your hand pushing the blade away from your throat, Sam quickly pulling you back to his side.

"We're fuckin' done here." you said, Gordon looking to you before looking down at Lenore.

"Sam, get her out of here." Dean said, Lenore gasping.

"Yeah." Sam said, bending down to pick her up, Lenore wrapping her arms around his neck, Gordon stepping forward like he was going to try to stop him.

"Uh-uh. Uh-uh." Dean said, warning Gordon from interfering with Sam.

"Don't even fuckin' think about it." you added, your eyes narrowed at him, Sam quickly getting Lenore out of the room.

"Singer, you good?" Dean asked, glancing over to you.

"I'm good." you said, your eyes on Gordon.

"Gordon, I think you and I've got some things to talk about." Dean said, walking until he was standing in front of him, his gun still trained on him.

"Get out of my way." Gordon said, the knife still in his hand.

"Sorry." Dean said, shrugging his shoulders.

"You're not serious." Gordon said, staring him down.

"He looks pretty fuckin' serious to me." you said, Gordon looking over to you.

"I'm having a hard time believing it too, but I know what I saw. If you want those vampires, you gotta go through me." Dean said, Gordon looking at his knife before stabbing it into the table.

"Fine." Gordon said, looking to Dean. "But it's me and you. If she gets in the way I'm not responsible for what happens." Gordon said, Dean looking to you.

"Singer." he said, you taking a step back.

"I'll stay out of it." you said, Dean turning back to Gordon, expelling his clip from his gun, placing the clip in one pocket, taking his eyes off Gordon for a second, Gordon sucker punching him.

You had to stop yourself from taking a step forward, wanting more than anything to come to Dean's aide, but you knew that he could handle himself. Dean quickly returned a punch, Gordon flying back, his hand reaching out for the table. Your eyes widened when Gordon grabbed his knife, Dean jumping back, dodging every strike. Dean finally managed to grab onto Gordon's arm and spun him so that his back was against the wall. Dean repeatedly crashed his arm into the door frame until he dropped the knife, Gordon reaching out and grabbing onto Dean's jacket.

"What are you doing, man? You doing this for a fang?" Gordon asked, Dean pulling him off the wall, spinning him around. "Come on, Dean, we're on the same side here."

"I don't think so, you sadistic bastard." Dean said, Gordon landing two punches before pushing Dean into the other room, Dean crashing down onto a coffee table.

"Dean!" you yelled, Gordon looking over to you, almost daring you to step forward.

"Singer, stay put!" Dean yelled back, Gordon walking into the room.

"You're not like your brother." Gordon said, Dean raising up on his elbows. "You're a killer like me." he said, his focus entirely on Dean as you walked up behind him, a large piece of wood in your hand.

You hit him over the head as hard as you could, Dean kicking out his legs from under him, Gordon falling to the ground. Dean rolled over and landed two hard hits before grabbing onto Gordon's shirt, pulling him to his feet and sending him crashing into a glass shelf. Dean pinned him to the wall, hitting him twice in the face with his elbow before taking him into a headlock and dragging him back towards the table, hitting his head on the doorframe on the way.

"Oh, sorry." Dean said as he walked him to a chair and shoved him down, you waiting by with some rope, the two of you quickly tying him up. "You know, I might be like you and I might not." Dean said, checking his knot before leaning down by Gordon's ear. "But you're the one tied up right now.

The sun was shining through the shutters as Dean paced back and forth, Gordon staring at you as you leaned against the doorframe, the sound of the Impala's engine alerting you both to Sam's return. Dean came to stand by your side, the screen door creaking as Sam walked in.

"Did I miss anything?" Sam asked, looking at Gordon tied to the chair.

"Not too much." you said, Sam raising a brow at you.

"Lenore get out okay?" Dean asked, Sam looking to Gordon.

"Yeah, all of 'em did." he said, Gordon looking up at Sam.

"Then I guess our work here is done." Dean said, taking a couple of steps towards Gordon. "How you doin', Gordy? Gotta tinkle yet?" he asked, Gordon staring straight ahead. "Alright. Well, get comfy. We'll call someone in two or three days. Have them come out and untie you." Dean said, sticking Gordon's knife into the table behind him.

"Ready to go, guys?" Sam asked, Dean walking back to stand in front of Gordon.

"Not yet." Dean said, stopping in front of him. "I guess this is goodbye. Well, it's been real." he said, punching Gordon hard in the face, Gordon tipping over backwards in his chair. "Okay, I'm good now. We can go."

"Not just yet." you said, pushing yourself off the door frame to walk over to Gordon.

"Y/N." Sam said, afraid of what you might do.

"I'm not gonna hurt him." you said, your foot coming down on his throat, putting just enough pressure for it to be uncomfortable for him. "At least, not today." you said before looking down at Gordon. "But if I ever see you again, I swear I'll fuckin' kill you, and I won't think twice about it." you said, pushing down a little harder before pulling your foot from his throat and walking out of the room.

"Sam?" Dean said, once the three of you had walked down the front steps. "Clock me one." he added, bouncing on his feet.

"What?" Sam asked, shaking his head.

"Come on." Dean said, gesturing for him to move closer. "I won't even hit you back. Let's go."

Sam huffed out a laugh, "No."

"Let's go, you get a freebie." Dean said, waving him over. "Hit me, come on." he added, Sam walking away.

"You look like you just went twelve rounds with a block of cement, Dean. I'll take a raincheck." Sam said, Dean shaking his head as he followed after him.

"If you girls don't quit fuckin' yappin' and come on, I'm gonna hit you both." you said, Sam giving you a big smile.

"Pretty sure a stiff breeze could knock you over right about now. I don't think I have much to worry about." Sam said, you looking up at him.

"Pretty sure Gordon thought the same thing. Why don't you go ask him how that went for him?" you said, Sam laughing under his breath.

"Come on, Singer. Let's just get you in the car. You can kick our asses later, okay?" Dean said, opening the door for you and helping you into the backseat, shrugging off his jacket to cover you up before closing the door.

"She's gonna be okay." Sam said, looking over the top of the car at Dean.

"What happened back there? At the bar? Then the nest?" Dean asked, Sam looking down at the ground.

"I can't say for sure. She said it was like when I get a headache after my visions, but it...Dean it wasn't like that. I mean, it's like she was just so weak all of a sudden. She couldn't even stand up on her own feet. Then, at the nest...she hid it well, but I could tell that she was doing everything she could to stay on her feet." Sam said, pausing a moment. "Then, Eli asked her what her kind would think of her running around with hunters."

"Her kind?" Dean asked, his brow furrowed. "What the hell does that mean?"

"I...I don't know, Dean. He said he never smelled a human that smelled like her." Sam said, Dean looking away from him.

"When we walked into that room, and I saw Lenore sitting there..." Dean said, pausing a moment. "The only thing I could see was her. It's all I could picture, just Sing-" Dean said, stopping to clear his throat. "All I could see was her tied to that chair and someone like Gordon doing that to her."

"Dean-" Sam started, Dean waving him off.

"It scares me, Sam, because I know she was right. He would have done that to her without thinking twice, and I-" Dean said, Sam cutting him off.

"Don't do that to yourself, Dean." Sam said, Dean shaking his head.

"I wish we never took this job. It's jacked everything up." Dean said, finally looking to Sam.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, Dean pausing a moment.

"Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy, our whole lives." Dean said, locking his hands together and placing them on the top of the car.

"Okay?" Sam said, wondering where he was going.

"What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing? You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us." Dean said, Sam shaking his head.

"Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could." Sam said, Dean giving him a subtle nod as he looked away.

"I know he did. But the man wasn't perfect." Dean said, looking back to Sam. "And the way he raised us, to hate those things, and man, I hate 'em. I do. When we killed that vampire at the mill I didn't even think about it, hell I was jealous that I didn't get to do it. I enjoy it." he said, Sam quiet for a moment.

"You didn't kill Lenore." Sam said, Dean shaking his head.

"No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill 'em all." Dean said, looking directly at Sam.

"Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters." Sam said, Dean looking away.

"Yeah. Well, cause you two are a pain in my ass." Dean said, Sam huffing out laugh.

"Guess, we'll just have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then." Sam said, going to open his door.

"Thanks." Dean said, Sam giving him a small smile.

"Don't mention it." Sam said, going to get into the car, Dean stopping him.

"I still don't know how to feel about what happened today. I don't know that I'll be able to show the same restraint to something else when the time comes, but I do know one thing for sure." Dean said, Sam standing back up.

"Yeah, what's that?" Sam asked, leaning against the top of the car.

"I know that I wouldn't think twice about killing anything that tried to hurt her. It took everything I had not to pop him in there." Dean said, Sam stepping back, looking into the backseat.

"Yeah." Sam said, looking up at him. "Me too." he added, the two of them sharing a look before Sam got into the car.

Dean stood there for a moment, his attention falling back on the house. He wanted to go back inside so badly. He wanted to make sure that Gordon would never be able to come anywhere near you again, but he stopped himself. He took a step back and looked into the backseat, needing to make sure that you were really there, that you were really okay. Dean took a deep breath and slowly released it before climbing behind the wheel and starting the engine, his eyes finding you in the rearview mirror as he drove off.

A/N: I just want to say a big thank you to everyone that took the time to read this. I really appreciate it, and I apologize for the delay. <3 <3

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#supernatural reader insert #spn series rewrite #dean winchester #dean x you #Sam Winchester #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #SPN #spn fic #dean #dean x reader #dean x y/n #season two

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waywardaardvark79 · 4 years

Text

Supernatural Series Rewrite: Season 2, Episode 2: Everybody Loves a Clown

Summary: Y/N Singer joins Sam and Dean on the road. A rewrite starring you.

Pairing: Dean X Reader, Sam X Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Show level violence, language

Word Count: 18,709 (I’m so sorry)

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I’m still not sure on a set schedule for this. I’ll try to get the next episode out as soon as I can. Tags open.

You focused your eyes on a single glowing ember that seemed to float effortlessly through the night air. You tried your best to follow its path, a loud popping sound making you lose your focus, your attention falling back on the pyre and the burning body in front of you. John's body.

It was a moonless night, the only light coming from the pyre, as you stood in tense silence between Sam and Dean. You glanced over at Dean, who was standing about a foot away from you. He had his hands shoved into his pockets as he stared into the flames. His stance was ridgid, the expression on his face was devoid of any emotion.

His indifference would appear cold to anyone that didn't know him, but you knew that he was doing everything in his power to hold it all together. The truth was in his eyes. They told the story that the rest of his body tried to keep hidden. Swirling inside those green irises were a multitude of emotions. Despair, melancholy, guilt, self loathing, to name a few. They were the eyes of a broken man, the eyes of a man that was lost with no idea how or if he could ever get back to the person he was before.

You turned your attention back to the pyre, your own guilt eating you up inside. You couldn't help but blame yourself for John's demise. If he had only made a deal to bring Dean back and not you too, he'd still be here. Sure, the Colt and the bullet would be gone, but John would still be alive. Sam and Dean would still have their father, and you knew that in time they would both get over losing you. After all, John would be a lot more useful in the fight ahead.

You could hear Sam shifting back and forth on his feet, and you looked in his direction, your heart breaking at the sight of him. He was near tears, fidgeting uncomfortably as he stared at the pyre. You reached out for his hand, and laced your fingers with his, the pair of gloves you snatched from the hospital squeaking a little.

You looked down at your hand that was joined with his and noticed that Sam seemed to be holding onto you for dear life. Your hand looked so small in his. It reminded you of how a child's hand would look clutching onto their parent's hand, your mind quickly changing when you looked Sam in the eyes.

Despite his height and towering build, he looked so small in that moment. His shoulders were slumped forward, his eyes red rimmed and glassy as he did his best to hold back his tears. He looked like a heart broken little boy, and you wanted nothing more than to protect him and take his pain away.

You steeled your shoulders, and gave his hand a gentle squeeze as you turned your attention back to the pyre. You knew that you had to push down everything that you were feeling. You had to lock it all up somewhere deep inside of yourself because your feelings didn't matter right now. You knew that the only thing you could focus on was getting the two of them through this the best you could.

"Before he...before, did he say anything to you? About anything?" Sam quietly asked, breaking the silence.

"No. Nothing." Dean replied, not looking at Sam, his attention still on the pyre, you giving Sam's hand another squeeze when he let out a small, defeated breath.

The three of you had gone back to Bobby's, and you each slipped into a rather monotonous routine. Dean pushed everyone away, always insisting that he was completely fine. You weren't shocked by his behavior. You knew him too well, and you knew that he would be looking for anything to use as a distraction.

He threw himself into fixing the Impala, and the two of you generally avoided each other, only meeting up late at night to drink yourselves into oblivion. You knew that he needed his space, and you were more than happy to give it to him, only going to him when he sought you out.

You were sure that this type of interaction would be problematic for most people, but you completely understood. You knew that nothing you said to him would change anything, or make him feel better. So, why talk about something that you can't change? Dean never was the one to talk everything out, to lay everything out on the table. He held his cards close, and his walls were high. You couldn't blame him. You were the same way, both of you choosing to bottle everything up and pretend that everything was okay.

It would work for a little while, but you knew that he was a ticking time bomb. Sooner or later something would set him off, and all of that pent up emotion would come pouring out. So, you did the only thing you knew to do. You kept your distance, and just hoped that you would be able to put him back together when he broke.

When you weren't sleeping off yet another hangover you were with Sam. You listened to him vent every frustration he had without interruption. You offered whatever advice you could, and tried your best to convince him to just let Dean be. Sam was just wired differently than the two of you though. He needed to discuss every little detail, and it was almost as if he took offense to the fact that you and Dean didn't.

You and Bobby continued to tiptoe around each other. The awkwardness and unanswered questions of the fight the two of you had before the accident reared its ugly head now that you were back among the living.

There were no cross words spoken between the two of you. In fact, there were no words at all. You were afraid that if you tried to have a conversation with him you would blow up. You had so many questions, and you knew that he had answers. But, everytime you thought about approaching him you stopped yourself. You were afraid that you wouldn't be able to control yourself. You were so incredibly angry with him, and you felt so betrayed.

It wasn't only Bobby that you were angry with. You were just angry in general. There wasn't one specific thing. It was everything honestly, and you found it growing worse as the days went on. You found yourself losing the battle to push it all down, and you were afraid that the next little thing was going to end up setting you off.

You had managed to distance yourself from everyone for most of the day. The house was now relatively quiet. Bobby had gone to bed hours ago, Sam was upstairs going through some of John's things, and Dean was still outside. You were sitting on the couch, your journal open in your lap, with the TV on in the background for noise.

You flipped through the pages until you came upon a blank one. You had been trying to remember what happened at the hospital, but you could never come up with a full sequence of events. It was all flashes, a giant jigsaw puzzle with too many missing pieces.

You thought that writing down what you could remember might help bring everything back, but you didn't know where to start. The gaps were too large and the things you could remember made no sense to you. Still, you knew that you had to try.

You could remember feeling like you were somewhere that you shouldn't be. Different colors started to flash through your mind, and you tried to clear all of your other thoughts to focus on them.

At first there was green. You scribbled the color down in your journal, your pen absentmindedly underlining the color as you thought back on what it could mean. You jotted down the word "outside" before following after it with a question mark. You couldn't be sure, but you had a gut feeling that the place you had been was somewhere outdoors, rationalizing that the flashes of green you kept seeing could be that of trees.

You looked down at the paper, the end of your pen held loosely between your teeth as the next color flashed through your mind. B-L-U-E, you wrote, carefully printing each letter. You found yourself tracing over each letter as you struggled with the memories that color brought.

Blue was a contradiction. One moment you found yourself completely uncomfortable, the color bringing out feelings of fear and dread. However, a split second later everything you were feeling about that color completely shifted. Blue no longer made you fearful or filled you with dread. No, instead you felt comfort, relief, thankful even. You couldn't understand the drastic change. Nothing you could come up with made any sense. Still, you wrote down the different feelings under the word blue before moving onto the next color.

You had no trouble remembering the next color. You also understood all of the feelings attached to it, and didn't think you could forget them even if you wanted to. Y-E-L-L-O-W, you wrote, underlining it harshly.

You could still see those yellow eyes clear as day. You could remember the way they raked over you and the way they lit up with glee whenever he spoke to you. He always did seem to get some kind of sick enjoyment out of toying with you.

You could still remember the way the corner of his mouth turned up when he told you that John had to sweeten the pot for you, and you still got a shiver down your spine when you thought about those two words he said to you.

No choice. Those two words were running through your head on an endless loop. He told you that you had no choice. You had no choice about trying to save John, and no choice about your destiny. He made sure to stress that, those yellow eyes of his alight with pleasure as he placed his hand on your forehead.

Those two words flipped a switch in you. The anger that you had been trying so hard to contain went from a dull simmer to a raging boil just like that. Your heart was pounding in your chest, one fist clenched by your side while the other hand thumped your pen frantically against the paper in front of you. You could swear that you could feel you body getting hot from the inside, the heat seeming to start in your middle before radiating throughout the rest of you. You were afraid that there was nothing you could do to contain it now. The only thing you could do was pray that no one crossed your path.

Sam could feel his eyes growing tired, the small screen he had been staring at starting to blur. He had been trying to crack John's voicemail code for hours, but so far he had come up empty. Sam flipped the phone closed and tossed it on the bed beside him before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He laid there for a moment and listened to the sounds of the house settling around him.

Those sounds brought back a flood of childhood memories and a strange sense of comfort. He felt a small smile slide across his face and thought that it was funny how the creaks of an old house could bring someone joy. He couldn't help but go down memory lane.

He always did feel safe there at Bobby's when he was a child. It wasn't that he didn't feel safe with John or Dean, but Bobby had an actual home. He had always been a bit jealous of you for that. Sure, you were no stranger to motel living, but you always had a home to come back to. You had your own room, and possessions that weren't hand me downs. You had some sense of normalcy, a routine, and he could remember how badly he craved that, part of him still did.

Sam thought back to the times the two of you spent there as children. He could remember playing made up games with you while Dean huffed and puffed about how annoying the two of you were. He could remember running up and down the stairs with you, the two of you always careful to avoid the step that creaked loudly when the two of you were sneaking around doing something that you shouldn't have been, and he could remember that the two of you always insisted on sharing a bed.

He chuckled to himself at some of the things the two of you used to talk about late at night. You had both made so many plans for when you were adults, vowing of course to do them together. That's what best friends did after all. They stuck together through everything. He could also remember the day all of those childhood plans changed.

The two of you were quite a bit older then, around sixteen, and it had been quite some time since the two of you had seen each other in person. John kept both Sam and Dean on the road with him, neither one of them needing Bobby to look after them anymore. Still, the two of you kept in close contact, calling each other whenever you could.

Sam was sitting in yet another dump of a motel room, a lore book open in front of him. John and Dean had left not long ago to start chasing down leads. Sam flipped through a couple of pages before closing the book. He drummed his fingers on the table while he stared at the book, knowing that he should be doing what his father asked of him. Instead, he pushed back his chair from the table and made his way to the beat up motel phone on the nightstand.

He picked up the receiver and held it between his ear and shoulder while he dialed your number. He made sure to only let the phone ring twice. It was the signal the two of you had always used. Sam sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbing the phone from the nightstand and placing it in his lap as he anxiously waited for you to call back. He was tempted to try you again and found himself reaching quickly for the receiver when it finally started to ring.

"Sammy!" you shouted before he even had a chance to say hello.

"Y/N? Everything okay?" Sam asked, worried that something was wrong.

"Yeah, yeah, everything is fine. Better than fine really. You shoulda seen it, Sammy. It was so fuckin' awesome." you excitedly rambled, Sam chuckling on the other end.

"Yeah, what's that?" Sam asked, just hearing your voice bringing a smile to his face.

"So, Uncle Rufus shows up out of nowhere a few days ago, and he starts telling Dad about this case he's been working. Long story short, he ends up talking Dad into helping out, and they let me go." you said, Sam interrupting.

"How long did it take you to pull that off?" he asked, knowing just how overprotective Bobby was.

"Really, Sam?" you scoffed as you cocked your head to the side to hold the phone with your shoulder, your hands busy unpacking. "You know I've been working whenever I can."

"Yeah." Sam breathed out, his fingers fiddling with the phone cord. "So, what was the case?"

"Ghouls." you excitedly replied, sucking in a deep breath before quickly speaking again. "I wish you coulda seen it. I had this one head shot that was right out of a fuckin' Romero movie. It was awesome. You gotta tell your dumbass brother that I just took the lead away from him."

"His lead?" Sam asked, confused as to what the two of you were competing about now.

"Yeah, when you guys stopped by a few months ago we kinda got into an argument." you explained, Sam laughing under his breath.

"What a surprise." he sarcastically said, you and Dean couldn't seem to be in the same room for five minutes without arguing about something.

"Yeah, who woulda guessed, right? Anyway, we kinda got this...uh, little friendly competition going, and this hunt just put me in the lead. Just rub it in a little for me, would ya? Make sure you tell him that I'm just gonna keep kickin' his ass." you said, Sam not saying anything. "Sam? You still there?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll, uh...I'll be sure to tell him." Sam said, you immediately picking up the shift in his mood.

"Hey, you alright?" you asked, knowing that he had something on his mind.

"Fine." Sam replied, not convincing you at all.

"Sam." you said, pausing a moment, hoping that he would speak up.

"Really Y/N, I'm fine. I'm just tired." he lied as he looked down at his duffel bag. "I just needed a little break."

"John got you doing research?" you asked, even though you already knew the answer.

"Yeah." Sam answered as he pulled a notebook from the bottom of his duffel.

"What've ya got so far?" you asked, still thinking that there was something more on his mind. "Sam?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, not sure yet. Dad and Dean are lookin' at the body now." Sam said as he flipped open the notebook and looked at some of the college brochures he had tucked inside, the line silent for a few minutes as you waited for him to speak again. "Hey Y/N, you ever think about..." Sam started, going quiet again before finishing his sentence.

"Ever think about what?" you asked, wanting him to continue.

"It's nothing, nevermind." Sam breathed out.

"Sam." you said, wanting to know what was bothering him.

"You ever think about getting out? About....I don't know, having a normal life?" Sam finally asked, you pausing a moment as you tried to think of what to say.

"Define normal." you said, Sam sighing at your less than serious approach. "Fine. When I was younger I thought about it. Remember how we'd talk about all the shit we were gonna do? But, I...I don't know, Sam. It's just not realistic anymore, you know? I mean, do you really think either one of us could just be some normal fuckin' persin with everything we know? Besides, I don't really think I'm cut out for it. I mean, could you really see me living some normal, picket fence, nine to five life?"

"Maybe you're right. I just....I." Sam said, stopping short.

"Sam, it shouldn't matter what I say. Is that what you want? Do you want out?" you asked, Sam sighing on the other end.

"I...I don't know. Sometimes." he said, pausing a moment. "I don't think I can do this for the rest of my life, but-" he tried, you interrupting.

"But nothing. If you don't want to hunt, Sam, don't hunt." you said as if it was the most simple simple thing ever.

"Yeah, cause that's gonna go over great with Dad." Sam fired back, you letting out a slow breath.

"Look, Sam...nobody can tell you what to do with your life but you. I can't tell you, neither can Dean or JOHN. It's your life, and it's your fuckin' choice. I know that there isn't anything you can do about it right now, but if you still want out when the times comes then there is nothing anyone can do about that but you." you said, your tone a little harsher than you meant it.

"Yeah, I better get back to this. I'm sure they won't be gone much longer." Sam said, making you feel guilty.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I just...I want you to be happy, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta think about yourself, and not worry about what everyone else is gonna think." you said, Sam quiet for a moment.

"I think I'm just frustrated. It was just...just a crazy idea. I didn't mean anything by it." Sam said, you knowing that there was no truth behind it.

"Yeah, okay. But, Sam, if it wasn't just a crazy idea...I hope you know that I would be there for you. No matter what you decide, I'll always be here. You can't get rid of me, Sammy." you said, wanting to end things on a better note.

"I don't think I could get rid of you if I tried." Sam teased, chuckling to himself.

"You're God damn right about that. Call me back if you need anything." you said, pausing a moment, trying to think of something to say to make him laugh. "I mean, we both know that I'm the superior researcher." you added, Sam barking out a laugh.

"Sure you didn't hit your head on that hunt?" he asked, a smile sliding onto your face. "I'll call you soon."

"You better." you said, not wanting to get off of the phone with him, but knowing that he had things to do. "Bye, Sammy."

"Bye, Y/N" Sam said, feeling the same way you did, quickly hanging up the phone before either of you could say anything else.

Sam looked down at the brochures in his lap and quickly placed them back in the notebook before shoving the notebook to the bottom of his bag, making sure that it was completely hidden under his clothes. Sam knew that there was no point in bringing them up to you. You had more or less made up your mind about what your life was going to be, but part of him still hoped that maybe one day you would change it.

Sam always knew that he didn't want to live that sort of life. He always yearned for something normal, something safe. He knew that his father would never leave the life. He was in far too deep, far too obsessed with his revenge mission. He had no illusions that his brother would ever leave either. Dean was following directly in John's footsteps.

You were his last hope. The two of you had always done everything together for as far back as he could remember, and the conversation that the two of you just had left a bad taste in his mouth. As bad as he wanted to start a new, normal life, he didn't want to do it alone. He wanted you with him, but deep down he knew that it just wasn't going to happen.

You were made for that life. It was in your blood, and he knew that you'd never leave it behind. Sam knew that he would be the one doing the leaving, and he knew that when the time came he would have to do it without looking back.

Sam swung his legs off the side of the bed, and grabbed John's phone before standing up. He tossed the phone into his bag before walking to the door and stepping out into the hall. He looked at your closed bedroom door and thought about just walking by, but with everything that had been going on he honestly didn't want to be alone.

He stopped in front of your door and raised his fist to knock, trying to be as quiet as he could, "Y/N." he softly said, waiting for you to respond.

After a few moments Sam cracked open your bedroom door and peaked inside, "Y/N, it's me." he said before noticing that you weren't there.

He eased the door shut before heading for the stairs. He tried to be as quiet as he could, taking extra precaution to avoid the squeaky step. He could hear the TV and hoped that you and Dean were still up.

"Guys?" he called out before he made it into the living room.

Once again Sam got no response, and simply decided that the two of you must have fallen asleep with the TV on. That changed when he saw you sitting on the end of the couch. He noticed that you were staring blankly ahead, one of your legs bouncing up and down as if you were anxious.

"Y/N?" Sam called out, coming to a stop by the arm of the couch. "Y/N?" he tried again when he didn't get an answer.

Sam watched as you slowly turned your head and looked in his direction. He couldn't quite read the expression on your face, but he found himself growing a little uneasy. You looked so on edge, and he quickly took a step back.

"Hey..." he started, pausing a moment, watching you closely. "Have you...uh, have you seen Dean?"

"I'm not your brother's fuckin' keeper." you spat, Sam instantly shrinking back.

"I'm...I didn't mean-" Sam started, you quickly cutting him off.

"Fuck." you breathed out, running your hands through your hair. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to...You didn't deserve that. I just...I'm..." you said, trailing off.

"No, I get it. Everything is a little tense. It's okay." Sam said, his forgiving attitude making you more angry.

"God dam it. No, it's not. Nothing about any of this is okay, Sam. I don't just get free reign to be an asshole!" you snapped, closing your journal and tossing it aside. "You should just-" you tried to say, Sam interrupting.

"Since when is being an asshole out of the ordinary for you?" Sam asked, trying to lighten the mood, rendering you speechless for a moment.

"Can't you just get pissed off and yell at me like a fuckin' normal person?" you asked, Sam sighing as he shook his head.

"What would that solve?" he asked as he took a seat next to you.

"I don't know. Hell, it might make you feel better. You know, giving me a taste of my own medicine." you said, trying your best to calm down.

"Does that really work for you? Do you ever really feel better?" Sam asked, you shrugging your shoulders.

"Sometimes." you said, leaning your head back against the couch.

"Look, you were obviously in the middle of something, and I interrupted." Sam said, you scoffing.

"Don't make excuses for me, Sam. Call it like it really is. I'm a fucking asshole." you said, looking over to him.

"Like it is, huh?" Sam asked, you nodding. "Alright, I think that you are doing everything in your power to avoid dealing with things. Dean, too. You are both so in your heads, and neither one of you will do what needs to be done."

"Yeah, what's that? What need to be done?" you asked, a little defensively.

"We need to TALK about things! We need to sit down and try to put all of the pieces together." Sam said, you rolling your eyes as you let out an annoyed huff.

"Don't go all after school special on me, Sam. Some big group therapy session isn't going to change a God damn thing." you shot back, Sam beginning to get frustrated.

"Yeah, cause sitting here doing what we've been doing is really helping." Sam argued, both of you staring each other down.

"What do you want to hear, Sam? What the fuck do you want me to say?" you asked, trying to keep your temper under control.

"ANYTHING, Y/N! Anything would be better than what you're doing now." Sam shot back.

"Fine." you said, keeping eye contact with him. "I don't know what to fucking do, Sam. I can't even fathom where to start. Nothing I do or say is gonna change what happened. I can't fix any of this. I can't help you. I sure as fuck can't help Dean. I can't even help my fuckin' self. I don't know what happened to me, Sam. I can't remember, but I know that this is my fault. I know that I am the one to blame for all of this."

"What does that mean? What's your fault?" Sam asked, his expression softening.

"Everything, Sam." you said, your voice breaking. "If I wasn't here...John would be."

"You don't know that." Sam said, the sound of a door opening and closing stopping him from saying more.

The two of you listened as Dean made his way to the stairs. He didn't acknowledge you or Sam, his heavy steps on the stairs intermingling with the low mumble of the television. You and Sam sat there in silence as the sounds of Dean's footsteps started to fade.

"Y/N, we need to talk about this, and Dean does too." Sam finally said as you stood up from the couch.

"One existential crisis at a time, Sam. We'll talk tomorrow." you said, completely drained.

Sam studied you for a moment before slowly nodding his head, "Yeah." he sighed, knowing that you would make up an excuse to avoid it.

"Get some sleep, Sam." you said before leaving the room and heading towards the kitchen.

You were seated at the kitchen table, one finger lazily circling the condensation ring left behind by your now empty beer. You made it a point to only drink one, knowing that Dean would want the rest of the six pack. Sam had gone to bed about thirty minutes ago, and you finally forced yourself to stand up from your spot.

You made your way back to the couch and plopped down on the middle cushion, grabbing one of the worn throw pillows and tucking it under your head as you pulled your legs up and laid down. You grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned the volume down a little on the television, keeping it barely audible. You closed your eyes and tried to focus on the infomercial dialogue, trying your best to clear your mind of everything. You finally managed to fall asleep only to be pulled awake a couple of hours later by the sound of someone rummaging around in the kitchen.

You quickly sat up and found yourself searching for a weapon in your half asleep state. A mumbled string of curse words set your mind at ease and you stopped your search, recognizing the voice and realizing that you were in no danger. You slowly stood up and made your way towards the kitchen, stopping to lean against the doorframe once you got there.

"Top shelf...towards the right." you said, Dean's back to you as he searched the cabinets.

You knew what he was searching for, the empty beer bottles on the table letting you know that he was after something a little stronger. You watched as he found the bottle and turned so that he was leaning against the counter, facing you. He unscrewed the cap and tossed it to the side, sending it sliding down the counter before raising the bottle to his lips.

You couldn't help but think back to the night that he showed up to tell you about Sam. The positions the two of you were in mirrored the ones from that night, but so many things had changed since then. The two of you almost looked like completely different people, both of you seeing more things in that short amount of time than most people would see in an entire lifetime.

"At least I don't have a gun this time." you said, echoing back to that night, hoping that Dean would know what you were talking about.

"Or a douche bag hiding out in your room." Dean shot back, referring to Jake, the corner of your mouth turning up.

"Nah, he's just hiding out in the kitchen this time." you said, Dean huffing out a laugh.

The two of you slipped into silence, neither one of you sure of what to say next. You could feel his eyes on you, and you forced yourself to look up and meet them. Dean opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it, his eyes darting to the bottle in his hand.

"You, uh, you should try to get some rest." you finally said before turning to head back to the couch, Dean watching you go without saying anything.

You had tucked yourself into the corner of the couch, your legs drawn up underneath you, your elbow on the armrest of the couch, your head cradled in your hand. You could still hear Dean in the kitchen. It almost sounded like he was pacing back and forth, his footsteps growing louder before fading away, the process continuing over and over. You thought about calling out to him, the sudden stopping of his footsteps causing you to stop and listen. Suddenly, his footsteps started back up, and you could tell that he was headed in your direction.

"Want some company?" Dean asked as he walked into the room, raising the bottle in his hand and giving it a little shake.

"I never say no to a drink." you replied as you looked up at him, Dean looking somewhat relieved as he made his way to the couch.

"You and Sam figure anything out?" Dean asked, nodding his heads towards your journal on the coffee table before passing you the bottle.

"No." you said, taking the bottle from him and raising it to your lips, Dean leaning his head back against the couch.

"He grill you too?" he asked, not looking at you.

"I deserved worse than I got." you said before taking one more drink, Dean holding out his hand for the bottle. "I fuckin' snapped, and I just wanted him to get mad. I wanted him to fuckin' yell at me, but all he wanted to do was-"

"Talk." Dean finished for you, you giving him a small nod. "Yeah, I got that speech too. He...he just..."

"That's just Sam." you said, reaching for the bottle. "I gotta say...this way is a little easier." you added, Dean giving you a half smile.

"Drown it out, right?" he sighed, turning to look at you.

"Drown it out." you echoed, the two of you sharing a look before slipping into silence, passing the bottle back and forth.

"Do you...do you remember anything?" Dean finally asked, you looking away from him.

"Not really. I mean, not anything fuckin' useful. I, uh, I...I remember looking for you, and I remember being fuckin' pissed." you said, not able to tell him about the conversation you had with Yellow Eyes.

"Yeah, I remember lookin' for you too, and the, uh, light." Dean said, pausing a moment. "Where'd you go?"

"I...I don't know." you breathed out, Dean nodding slowly. "I keep tryin' to make fuckin' sense of it, but-"

"You can't." Dean finished for you. "I can't either." he added, a distant, defeated look in his eyes.

"Hey." you said, placing a gloved hand just above his knee. "We'll figure it out. Everything...everything is gonna be okay."

"Yeah." Dean said, giving you a sad smile, not believing a word you said, and you couldn't blame him. "Guess we should call it a night."

"Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll take the couch tonight. You take my bed." you said, Bobby making it abundantly clear that there would be no bed sharing.

"No, you take it." Dean said as he propped his feet up on the coffee table, you rolling your eyes. "Couch is fine with me. You drink enough, you can sleep anywhere."

"No point in arguing, De. You're not gonna win." you said, Dean looking at you as he slouched down onto the couch, his head lying back against the back.

"I'm not movin'." he said, closing his eyes. "But, you know, it's technically not a bed, so..." he added, trailing off as he raised his arm, silently inviting you over.

"Well, since you're gettin' all fuckin' technical on me." you said, scooting over until you were nestled into his side, his arm coming down to wrap around you.

You closed your eyes as you snuggled into his side, the corner of your mouth turning up when you felt him press his lips against the top of your head. You didn't say anything when he lingered, his chest rising as he breathed you in.

"Get some sleep, De." you said, patting his chest, Dean's other hand coming up to rest on yours. "I'll be right here."

You jerked awake, your heart beating wildly in your chest, your breaths short and quick as your eyes darted around the room. You felt Dean shift underneath you, and you tried to match your breathing to his, your hand rising and falling with his chest in a smooth, easy rhythm. You knew that it was just a nightmare, but you also knew that there was no way you would be able to fall back asleep.

You eased yourself out from under Dean's arm, being careful not to wake him, and moved to the edge of the cushion before quickly getting to your feet. You looked over your shoulder at Dean, and stood still for a moment, making sure that he wouldn't wake up. Once you were certain that he wouldn't wake up you grabbed the whiskey bottle from the coffee table and crept from the room.

You had finally made it outside, and allowed yourself to let out of sigh of relief. You had no idea what time it was, but you knew it was early morning. The sky was starting to lighten, the sun beginning to peak over the horizon, setting the sky ablaze with brilliant shades of orange, pink, and red. You couldn't remember the last time you had watched the sunrise. In fact, you weren't entirely sure that you had ever taken the time to actually appreciate it. Honestly, it had never been on your list of priorities and as pretty as it was, you couldn't say that it topped your list now.

There were far too many other things on your mind, and you thought that if you just kept walking you could leave them all behind. So, that's what you did. You walked. You walked up and down the haphazard rows of broken down vehicles, your fingers wrapped loosely around the neck of the whiskey bottle that dangled at your side. But, no matter how many trips you took up and down the rows the thoughts that you were so desperate to outrun always seemed to be just one step behind. They were still there, taunting you, letting you know that no amount of running would suffice.

You stopped in your tracks and looked over at the beaten up, old Lincoln on your left. You curled your fingers tighter around the neck of the whiskey bottle and climbed up onto the hood, leaving your legs dangling freely over the edge. If running wasn't going to work, you had the next best thing. After all, drowning everything out would be much easier. There was far less work in that solution. Just as you raised the bottle to your lips you heard the crunch of footsteps and turned to see Bobby walking towards you.

"Glad you finally stopped. I didn't know how much longer I could keep up." Bobby said, stopping a couple of feet in front of the car.

"You've been following me the whole time?" you asked, a little shocked that you didn't pick up on his presence, Bobby giving you a subtle nod.

"Maybe if you laid off the sauce you woulda known." he said, gesturing towards the bottle.

"Yeah...maybe, but where's the fun in that?" you asked before taking a drink.

"Doesn't look like fun to me, Kid." Bobby said, coming to lean against the hood next to you.

"Yeah, what's it look like then?" you asked, a little defensively, Bobby pausing a moment before turning to look at you.

"It looks like you're runnin', or tryin' to at least." Bobby said, causing you to scoff. "I know you're going through it right now, Kid."

"You read minds now, too?" you asked, anger starting to boil up again.

"No." Bobby said, trying to choose his next words carefully. "But, there ain't many things you can hide from me."

"Yeah, you're good enough at that for the both of us." you snapped back, Bobby's posture going ridgid, "What? Nothin' to say now?"

"I did what I had to do to keep you safe." Bobby said, his response exasperating you.

"From what?!" you yelled, Bobby looking over at you.

"From everything." he returned. "That was my job, and I did what I had to do."

"That doesn't fuckin' tell me anything." you snapped, your grip on the bottle tightening.

"I know." Bobby said, looking down at his feet. "But, that's why I'm out here, Kid. You ask, and I'll tell you what I know."

"Just like that?" you asked, Bobby looking back at you.

"Just like that." he echoed, trying to prepare himself for your questions, watching as you looked away from him, the bottle still clutched tightly in your hand.

"Who...who were they?" you quietly asked. "My parents."

"Your father was a hunter, a good one. James McKenzie. I worked a few cases with him in the early days. I met him though Rufus." Bobby explained, you still looking away from him.

"And her?" you asked, Bobby taking a deep breath.

"I don't know. You gotta understand, Kid...I didn't keep in regular contact with him. He never mentioned anyone, not even the night he showed up with you. I tried to track down what I could. Rufus did too, but we never got anything solid. It was all just through the grapevine bullshit. Some said that she was in the life too, and...and-" Bobby tried, you cutting him off.

"And, it ended like it fuckin' always does. Bloody." you said, Bobby remaining quiet for a moment.

"I can't say for sure." Bobby sighed. "I looked for him too, but I couldn't find anything. It was like he just...disappeared. I kept up the search until..."

"Until?" you asked, finally looking over at him.

"Until it got too dangerous to continue it. You were about four, maybe five." Bobby started, seeming reluctant to continue. "You...you just...you knew things, Kid, and it was stuff you had no way of knowin'. "he said, waiting for you to respond.

"What the fuck does that mean?" you asked, your heart starting to pound.

"It means that...it means..." Bobby started, trailing off before he could finish his thought.

"It means what? What the fuck does it mean?!" you yelled, throwing the bottle, watching as it shattered against a car across from you.

"You would pick up on things, say things that you couldn't know. Things...things that I was thinking, and then there were the dreams." Bobby said, you getting up from the car to pace.

"Dreams?" you asked, pacing back and forth.

"Doctors said they were just night terrors, but they weren't.""Bobby said, his answer rather vague.

"How did you know?" you asked, still pacing.

"I just did." he said, you whipping to face him.

"So, not only did you lie about who I was, but you lied about what I could do, too?" you asked, speaking again before Bobby had a chance to answer. "And, you can't say that you never had the chance to tell me. I called you. I called you, and I told you that I thought something was wrong with me. And, what did you do? You fuckin' lied! You told me that I was fine!"

"You know that people don't always take kindly to what they don't understand. Especially in this business. They would have shot first and asked questions later." Bobby said, you starting to pace again.

"So, you're telling me that you kept everything quiet 'cause you didn't want some hunter findin' out? Scared they were gonna shoot the freak?!" you yelled, Bobby shaking his head.

"Kid, you're not a-" he started, you quickly cutting him off.

"What? Not a freak? Not some sort of fuckin' monster?!" you asked, pulling the glove off of your right hand, the ball of light quickly forming before you sent it crashing into the car across from you, the glass shattering and the metal denting. "Does that look fuckin' human to you?"

"A parent does what they have to do to protect their child." Bobby said, you shaking your head.

"I'm not your kid! Don't you see that everyone would have been a lot better off if you would've just thrown me to the fuckin' wolves all those years ago? I mean, I've been fucking shit up since I was born." you said, a quizzical expression on Bobby's face.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, frustration seeping through.

"It's my fault that my parents are gone. And, who's to say that there's not a trail after them? I mean, you said so yourself. You did what you had to do to keep me safe, to keep everything under wraps." you said, Bobby looking at you a moment before speaking.

"None of that's on you." he said, you huffing out an annoyed laugh.

"It is. I may not have known, but it is. And, then there's John." you said, fixing Bobby with a cold stare.

"John?" Bobby asked, you nodding.

"I don't remember everything that happened, but I remember that. He's gone because of me. If he wouldn't have made the deal for me, then he'd still be here. So, how can you stand there and tell me that everyone is better off with me here?" you asked, your voice cracking a little.

"You can't blame yourself for John's decision. He knew what he was doing, and you don't get to make decisions for everyone else." Bobby said, you interrupting.

"I'm not-" you tried to say, Bobby cutting you off.

"No, you're gonna listen. You say that everyone would be better off if you were gone, but that's bullshit. You think those boys would be better off?" Bobby started, you quickly cutting him off.

"Of course I do! They lost their fucking father because of me!!" you yelled, Bobby shaking his head.

"Family doesn't end with blood, Kid. Those boys would be lost without you, and so would I. I...I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of, things that haunt me to this day, but you are the one thing that I'm proud of. Hell, you're the reason I'm still going, Kid, and I wouldn't change a thing. I'd do all of it over again, the same exact way if it meant that you were safe."

"But-" you tried to say, Bobby speaking up before you could say anything.

"You listen to me. I may not have made ya, but you're mine. I'm not going anywhere. A parent is there for the good, the bad, and the ugly. And, right now it's pretty God damn ugly, but we're gonna figure all this out, together. Now, you can be mad all you want. I can understand that, but you don't get to check out on me. And, you ain't gettin' rid of me. Cause even if you don't want me to, I'm gonna be there. Ya' got that, Kid?" Bobby asked, you looking at him with teary eyes, waiting a minute before speaking.

"Yeah, I, uh, I got it." you said, trying not to cry, Bobby closing the gap between the two of you to pull you into a hug.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Kid." he said, holding you tightly. "I promise."

Dean was back underneath the Impala, only his legs visible from beneath the frame. He spent all of his time working on it, and although it was little more than a rusted frame, it looked considerably less crushed than it did.

"How's the car coming along?" Sam asked as he approached.

"Slow." Dean said, his reply short.

"Yeah? Need any help?" Sam asked, Dean dropping something heavily.

"What, you under a hood? I'll pass. I'd rather have Singer under here." Dean said, Sam pausing a moment before speaking.

"Need anything else, then?" Sam asked, Dean pushing himself out from under the car and getting to his feet.

"Stop it, Sam." Dean warned, Sam looking a little taken aback.

"Stop what?" Sam asked, Dean shaking his head.

"Stop asking if I need anything, stop asking if I'm okay. I'm okay. Really. I promise." Dean said, Sam slowly nodding, trying to think of a way to make his point without starting a fight.

"All right, Dean, it's just...We've been at Bobby's for over a week now and you haven't brought up Dad once." Sam said, Dean turning to face him.

"You know what? You're right. Come here. I'm gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, and maybe even slow dance. I swear, you're a bigger girl than Singer. She's not out here pushin' me." Dean said, Sam's frustration starting to show.

"Don't patronize me, Dean. Dad is dead. The Colt is gone, and it seems pretty damn likely that the demon is behind all of this, and you're acting like nothing happened." Sam said, Dean shaking his head.

"What do you want me to say?" Dean asked.

"Say something, all right. Hell, say anything. Neither one of you have ever had a problem running your mouths before, but now I can't get either one of you to say more than a couple of words. Aren't you angry? Don't you want revenge? But all you do is sit out here all day long buried underneath this damn car." Sam ranted, his frustration seeping through.

"Revenge, huh?" Dean asked, Sam nodding.

"Yeah." Sam replied, hoping that he'd gotten through to him.

"Sounds good. You got any leads on where the demon is? Making heads or tails of any of Dad's research? Because I sure ain't. But, you know, if we do finally find it- oh. No, wait, like you said. The Colt's gone. But, I'm sure you've figured out another way to kill it. We've got nothing, Sam. Nothing, okay? So, you know the only thing I can do? I can work on the car." Dean said, crouching down by the car to get back to work.

"Well, we've got something, all right?" Sam said, pulling out a cell phone. "It's what I came by here to tell you. This is one of Dad's old phones. Took me awhile, but I cracked his voicemail code. Listen to this." Sam said as he held out the phone to Dean, who stood and took it reluctantly.

"John, it's Ellen. Again. Look, don't be stubborn. You know I can help you. Call me." the voicemail said, Sam looking to Dean.

"That message is four months old." Sam said, Dean's interests piqued.

"Dad saved that chick's message for four months?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." Sam replied.

"Well, who's Ellen? Any mention of her in Dad's journal?" Dean asked, Sam shaking his head.

"No. But, I ran a trace on her phone number, and I got an address." Sam said, Dean nodding.

"Go tell Singer, and ask Bobby if we can use one of his cars." Dean instructed, Sam quickly turning to go before Dean could change his mind.

"This is humiliating. I feel like a fuckin' soccer mom!" Dean exclaimed as the three of you got out of the beat up, poorly maintained minivan that was parked in front of the bar Ellen owned, The Roadhouse.

"It's the only car Bobby had running." Sam said as he looked around the rather empty parking lot. "Hello? Anybody here?"

"So, you know these people?" Dean asked, glancing over at you.

"Yeah, haven't seen 'em in a long time though." you said, adjusting your gun, Dean turning to Sam.

"Hey. You bring the, uh..." he started to ask, Sam nodding.

"Of course." he said, tossing something to Dean before opening the door to go inside.

The Roadhouse was quiet with the exception of a fly buzzing around, "Come on." you said, walking ahead of the two of them, a light bulb suddenly blowing, leaving the bar a little darker than it was.

The three of you came upon a passed out man, and Sam looked down at him, "Hey, buddy?" he asked, pausing a moment. "I'm guessing that isn't Ellen."

"Yeah." Dean said as Sam went into a back room to look around, leaving you and Dean alone, the two of you walking further into the bar.

"Stop." you said, hearing someone behind you, putting your hand out in front of Dean, the two of you side by side.

"Oh God, please let that be a rifle." Dean said, feeling the point of a gun touch his back.

"Maybe they're just real happy to see us." you said, the gun cocking.

"Don't move." a female warned, you thinking that you recognized the voice, glancing over to Dean and giving him a subtle nod.

"Not moving, copy that. You know, you should know something, miss. When you put a rifle on someone, you don't want to put it right against their back. Because it makes it real easy to do..." Dean said, turning fluidly, grabbing the rifle and cocking it. "That."

You turned just in time to see Dean get punched in the nose, the rifle quickly taken away from him as his hands flew to his nose.

"Easy, Jo." you said, pulling your gun as she pointed the rifle at you.

"I know you?" she asked, the two of you in a standoff.

"Sam! Need some help in here." Dean called out before muttering, "I can't see. Singer, I can't even see."

"I got it handled." you said, Jo taking a step towards you, the rifle now within your reach.

"You sure about that?" Dean asked, still clutching his nose as the back door opened to reveal Sam walking though slowly with both hands on his head, Jo turning her head to look, her finger no longer on the trigger.

"Yeah." you said, grabbing the barrel of the rifle and snatching it from her, Jo looking at you in shock as you passed the gun to Dean.

"Sorry, guys. I can't right now. I'm a...little tied up." Sam said, nodding his head, indicating that there was someone behind him.

"Don't worry, Sammy. We've got it handled." you said before looking over to Dean. "Well, maybe not we. Dean wasn't really much help."

"Sam? Dean? Winchester?" a woman asked, stepping out from behind Sam.

"Yeah." Sam and Dean answered in unison, looking a little puzzled.

"Son of a bitch." she said, looking over to you, your gun still partially raised.

"Mom, you know these people?" Jo asked, looking to her mother.

"Yeah, I think these are John Winchester's boys." she said lowering her gun, laughing. "And, I'm willing to bet that you're Y/N Singer." she said, looking to you.

"That's right." you said, lowering your gun.

"It's been awhile. You've grown up. How's your daddy?" she asked, Sam and Dean watching her closely.

"Still kicking." you said, Sam and Dean looking between you and the woman, the woman turning her attention back to them.

"I'm Ellen. This is my daughter Jo." she said, Sam and Dean finally relaxing.

"Hey." Jo said, nodding towards her rifle in Dean's hand.

"You're not gonna hit me again, are you?" Dean asked, passing her the gun.

"No, she's not." you said, giving Jo a look before heading towards the bar.

"Here you go." Ellen said, passing Dean a small towel filled with ice.

"Thanks. You called our Dad, said you could help. Help with what?" Dean asked, grimacing as he held the towel to his nose.

"Well, the demon, of course. I heard he was closing in on it." Ellen explained, Dean eyeing her.

"What, was there an article in Demon Hunters Quarterly that I missed? I mean, who...who are you? How do you know about all this?" Dean asked, Ellen looking to you.

"You'll have to excuse him." you said, Dean's head whipping to face you, Ellen chuckling.

"Hey, I just run a saloon, but hunters have been known to pass through now and again. Including your dad a long time ago. John was like family once." Ellen explained.

"Oh yeah? How come he never mentioned you before?" Dean asked, still weary of her.

"You'd have to ask him that." Ellen said, you looking down at the bar.

"So, why exactly do we need your help?" Dean asked, getting back on track.

"Hey, don't do me any favors. Look, if you don't want my help, fine. Don't let the door smack your ass on the way out. But, John wouldn't have sent you if..." she said, stopping when you gave her a look, the realization hitting her. "He didn't send you." she said, Dean looking down before glancing over to you and back to Sam. "He's all right, isn't he?"

"No. No, he isn't. It was the demon, we think. It, um, it just got him before he got it, I guess." Sam said, Ellen shaking her head.

"I'm so sorry." she said, giving both boys a sincere look.

"It's okay. We're all right." Dean quickly said, any mention of John making him uncomfortable.

"Really? I know how close you and your dad were." Ellen said, Dean appearing annoyed.

"Ellen." you said, shaking your head, letting her know to drop it.

"Really, lady, I'm fine." he said, Ellen nodding, realizing that it was a sensitive subject.

"So look, if you can help, we could use all the help we can get." Sam said, Ellen looking between the three of you.

"Well, we can't. But, Ash will." Ellen said, a smile sliding onto your face.

"Who's Ash?" Sam asked, confused.

"Ash!" Ellen yelled, the man that was passed out jerking away, flailing as he sat up.

"What? It closin' time?" he asked, looking around the bar.

"That's Ash?" Sam asked as you laughed to yourself.

"MM-hmm. He's a genius." Jo said, both Sam and Dean looking over to her.

You and Sam were sitting on either side of Ash, Dean standing behind the three of you while Jo poured glasses of water on the other side of the bar. Ash was busy staring at you. You could tell that he was trying to figure out how he knew you, a brown folder being slapped down on the bar making him flinch, but not deterring his focus.

"I don't think we've met." Ash said, extending his hand to you.

"I gotta say...I'm a little offended." you teased, the wheels turning in Ash's mind.

"Don't be offended. There's no way I could forget a face like that, or a..." Ash said, trailing off as his eyes roamed down your body, Dean clearing his throat.

"You sure about that, Sugar?" you asked, Ash's eyes lighting up.

"Y/N? Y/N Singer?" he asked, you giving him a wink.

"In the flesh." you said, Ash smiling brightly.

"Well, God damn! I knew you were somethin' by the sound of your voice, but it just doesn't do you justice." Ash said, Dean rolling his eyes.

"You've gotta be kidding me. This guy's no genius. He's a Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie." Dean said, Ash turning to face him.

"I like you." Ash said, a smile on his face.

"Thanks." Dean said, Jo shaking her head.

"Just give him a chance." Jo said, you nodding.

"He knows his stuff. He's helped me out a few times." you said, Dean looking at you. "Over the phone." you added, Dean coming to sit next to you, moving his stool so that he was basically on top of you before opening the folder.

"All right. This stuff's about a year's worth of our dad's work. So, uh, let's see what you make of it." Dean said, Ash pulling out the papers and rifling through them, shaking his head.

"Come on. This crap ain't real. There ain't nobody can track a demon like this." Ash said, looking up at Dean.

"Our Dad could." Sam said, Ash glancing at him before looking back at the papers.

"There are non-parametrics, statistical overviews, prospects and correlations, I mean...damn! They're signs. Omens. Uh, if you can track 'em, you can track this demon. You know, like crop failures, electrical storms...You ever been struck by lightening? It ain't fun." Ash said, rambling.

"Can you track it or not?" Sam asked, Ash cocking his head to the side.

"Yeah, with this...I think so. But, It's gonna take time, uh, give me...fifty one hours." Ash said, getting up to leave.

"Hey, man?" Dean called out, stopping him.

"Yeah." Ash said, turning to face him.

"I, uh, I did the haircut." Dean said, Ash smiling.

"All business up front, party in the back." Ash said, running his hand over his mullet. "Hey Y/N, could you help me with somethin'?"

"Yeah." you said, getting up from your spot, you and Ash walking off as Jo came out from behind the bar.

Dean watched the two of you closely, his brow furrowing as he watched you laugh at something Ash said. Jo made sure to step into his line of sight, giving him a flirty smile as she gestured for him to follow her. Dean took one last look at you before following after her, leaving Sam alone at the bar.

"Hey, Ellen, what is that?" Sam asked, spotting something behind the bar.

"It's a police scanner. We keep tabs on things, we-" Ellen said, Sam cutting her off.

"No, no, no, no, the, um, the folder." Sam said, nodding towards the folder.

"Uh, I was gonna give this to a friend of mine, but take a look, if you want." Ellen said, taking the folder from its spot and placing it in front of Sam.

"How did your mom get into this stuff, anyway?" Dean asked, him and Jo sitting by the window.

"From my dad. He was a hunter. He passed away." Jo said, Dean letting out a slow breath.

"I'm sorry." he said, Jo waving it off.

"It was a long time ago. I was just a kid. Sorry to hear about your dad." Jo said, Dean slowly nodding, uncomfortable with the subject.

"Yeah." he said, looking over at you and Ash, Jo following his stare.

"So, I guess you've got fifty one hours to waste. Maybe tonight we should..."she said, trailing off, Dean looking over at her. "What?"

"Nothing, just, uh..."Dean said, looking over at you, Jo nodding.

"Gotcha." she said, watching as he stared at you. "You know, at first I thought you might toss me some cheap pickup line." she said, Dean chuckling. "Most hunters come through that door thinking they can get in my pants with some...pizza, a six pack, and side one of Zeppelin IV." she added, Dean smiling to himself when he remembered you throwing out that exact scenario as a date idea.

"Well...what a bunch of scumbags." Dean said, turning to look at her.

"Not you?" Jo asked, glancing over at you before looking back to Dean.

"Not me." Dean said, giving her a tight lipped smile.

"So, whatcha need?" you asked, Ash stopping to turn and face you.

"Uh, well, I..."Ash said, clearing his throat. "How long are you sticking around?"

"You said you needed fifty one hours, so I'd guess that'd be about it." you said, Ash nodding.

"That's it, huh? Well, that's a damn shame." he said, you raising a brow at him.

"Yeah, why's that?" you asked, Ash wiggling his brows at you causing you to laugh.

"Cause we coulda had a damn good time." Ash said, you smiling before glancing back at Dean, who was talking to Jo. "Don't tell me..." Ash said, looking at Dean.

"Yep." you said, Ash sighing.

"Just my luck." he said, you laughing under your breath. "You know he doesn't look so tough. Maybe I could take him." he joked, you laughing again. "Well, uh, that ever goes south, you know who to call."

"You'll be the first one I call." you said, both you and Ash laughing.

"Hey guys, come here." Sam called out. "Check this out." he added, both you and Dean walking back to the bar.

"Yeah." you said, Sam looking up at you.

"A few murders not far from here that Ellen caught wind of. Looks to me like there might be a hunt." Sam said, looking between the two of you.

"Yeah, so?" Dean said, shrugging his shoulders.

"So, I told her we'd check it out." Sam said as he gathered all of the papers back into the folder and stood up.

The three of you were back in the minivan, Dean driving, Sam in the passenger seat, you leaning up from the backseat. The rain was coming down hard, forcing the three of you to speak louder than normal.

"You've gotta be kidding me. A killer clown?" Dean asked, Sam still looking at the research in his lap.

"Well, you just gotta be shittin' bricks right about now." you said, Sam shooting you a dirty look.

"He left the daughter unharmed and killed the parents. Ripped them to pieces, actually." Sam explained.

"And this family was at some carnival that night?" Dean asked, Sam nodding.

"Right, right. The, uh, Cooper Carnival." Sam said, flipping through some of the papers.

"Okay, but how do you know that we're not just dealing with some fuckin' psycho carnie in a clown suit?" you asked, Sam turning in his seat to face you.

"Well, the cops have no viable leads, and all the employees were tearing down shop. Alibis all around. Plus, this girl said she saw a clown vanish into thin air. Cops are saying trauma, of course." Sam explained, Dean looking over at him.

"Well, I know what you're thinking, Sam. Why did it have to be clowns?" Dean said, not hearing your earlier remark.

"Oh, give me a break." Sam said, rolling his eyes, both you and Dean laughing.

"You didn't think we'd remember, did you? I mean, come on, you still bust out crying whenever you see Ronald McDonald on the television." Dean teased, Sam scoffing.

"Well, at least I'm not afraid of flying." Sam said, Dean's eyes going wide.

"Planes crash!" he fired back, Sam turning to you.

"Or small spaces." Sam said, you rolling your eyes.

"Oh, you can fuck right off, Sam. MIne is a much more realistic fear, and you know it. I mean, what the fuck is so scary about a clown?" you asked, Sam shaking his head.

"Well, apparently clowns kill, Y/N." Sam said, Dean speaking up before the two of you got into a ridiculous argument.

"So, these type of murders, they ever happen before?" Dean asked, Sam looking down at the file.

"Uh, according to the file, 1981, the Bunker Brothers Circus, same M.O.. It happened three times, three different locales." Sam explained, Dean shaking his head.

"It's weird, though. I mean, if it's a spirit it's usually bound to a specific locale. You know, a house, or a town." Dean said, Sam looking to him.

"So, how's this one moving from city to city, carnival to carnival?" Sam asked.

"Cursed object, maybe." you said, Dean nodding.

"Yeah, spirit attaches itself to something and the, uh, carnival carries it around with them." Dean said, Sam sighing.

"Great. Paranormal scavenger hunt." Sam said, closing the file in his lap.

"Tell me about it." you said, leaning back in your seat.

"Well, this case was your idea." Dean said, glancing over to Sam. "By the way, why is that? You were awfully quick to jump on this job."

"So?" Sam said, shrugging his shoulders.

"It's just...not like you, that's all. I thought you were hell bent for leather on the demon hunt." Dean said, you leaning back up, expecting a fight.

"I don't know, I just think, this job, it's what Dad would have wanted us to do." Sam said, you looking between the two of them, gauging the situation.

"What Dad would have wanted?" Dean asked, you looking over to him.

"De." you warned, giving him a look.

"Yeah, so?" Sam asked, Dean glancing at you before turning his attention back to the road.

"Nothin'." Dean clipped out, you leaning into your seat with a sigh.

The minivan squeaked to a stop outside of the carnival, and the three of you climbed out. You leaned against the side of the van, watching as what appeared to be detectives talked to some of the carnies.

"Check it out, Five-oh." Dean said, nodding his head in their direction.

"You got it?" you asked, Dean nodding before walking off towards the carnies, trying to get what facts he could.

Both you and Sam ventured closer to the carnival grounds, Sam shoving his hands in his pockets as the two of you subtly looked around. You turned your head just in time to see a woman, who was about three feet tall, in a clown outfit approaching. You looked up at Sam and tried to hide your smile. He was staring at her nervously as she walked by, his posture rigid as he tried to keep his cool.

"Did you get her number?" Dean asked as he approached the two of you, Sam scowling at the question.

"More murders?" Sam asked, Dean nodding.

"Two more last night. Apparently, they were ripped to shreds, and they had a little boy with them." Dean explained, both you and Sam listening closely.

"Who fingered a clown." Sam said, you snorting out a laugh, Dean pausing and giving him a weird look.

"Sounds pretty kinky if you ask me." you said, not able to keep a straight face, Sam giving you a completely done look, Dean chuckling.

"Really, Y/N?" Sam asked, you shrugging your shoulders.

"What? You said it." you said, Dean shaking his head, trying not to smile.

"Alright, back on track." Dean said, Sam looking at him to continue. "Yeah, the kid saw a clown, who apparently vanished into thin air."

"Guys, you know, looking for a cursed object is like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles. They could be anything." Sam said, you sighing.

"And we don't even fuckin' know if that's what we're dealing with for sure." you said, Sam nodding in agreement.

"Well, if it's a cursed object then, it's bound to give off EMF, so we'll just have to scan everything." Dean said, Sam giving him a look.

"Oh, good, that's nice and...inconspicuous." Sam sarcastically said, you looking over to him.

"You got a better idea?" you asked, Dean spotting something nearby.

"I guess we'll just have to blend in." Dean said, nodding his head towards a "Help Wanted" sign.

"Excuse me, we're looking for a Mr. Cooper, have you seen him around?" Dean asked, the three of you stepping into the tent of a man throwing knives at a target, all the knives landing near but not quite on the bullseye.

"What is that, some kind of joke?" the man asked, pulling off his sunglasses to reveal that he was blind.

"Oh, God, I'm, I'm sorry." Dean said, embarrassed by his blunder.

"You think I wouldn't give my eyeteeth to see Mr. Cooper? Or a sunset, or anything at all?" the man asked, Dean looking to you and Sam for help.

"Wanna give me a little help here?" Dean quietly asked the two of you.

"Not really." Sam said, you quickly jumping in.

"You're doin' great." you said, giving him the okay signal with your hand.

"Hey man, is there a problem?" someone asked, Dean turning, then looking down to see an extremely short man in a red cape.

"Yeah, this guy hates blind people." the blind man said, Dean shaking his head.

"No, I don't. I-" Dean tried to explain, the short man cutting him off.

"Hey buddy, what's your problem?" he asked, looking up at Dean.

"Nothing, it's just a little misunderstanding." Dean said, you grabbing onto his arm, catching his mistake.

"Little?! You son of a bitch!" the short man yelled, Dean's eyes going wide.

"No, no, no, no! I'm just, could somebody tell me where Mr. Cooper is?" Dean asked, both you and Sam laughing. "Please?"

"You kids picked a hell of a time to join up. Take a seat." Mr. Cooper said as the three of you walked into his office. "Sorry about the lack of chairs."

"No problem." you said, giving him a friendly smile, Dean looking at the available chairs.

One of the chairs was normal, the other was pink with a giant clown face on it. Dean quickly beat Sam to the normal chair, and pulled you so that you basically fell into his lap. Sam scowled, and fidgeted before sitting gingerly in the clown chair, giving you and Dean one final dirty look before composing himself.

"We've got all kinds of local trouble." Mr. Cooper said once the three of you had settled.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, you shifting so that he could see Mr. Cooper.

"Oh, a couple of folks got themselves murdered. Cops always seem to start here first. So, you three ever worked the circuit before?" Mr. Cooper asked, looking between the three of you.

"Yes sir, last year through Texas and Arkansas." Sam said, both you and Dean nodding.

"Yeah." the two of you said in unison.

"Doing what? Ride jockeys? Butcher? ANS Men?" Mr. Cooper asked before turning to you. "Surely they had a looker like you doin' something special."

"Oh yeah, I....they always saved me for the good stuff." you said, Sam quickly jumping in.

"Yeah, it's, uh, little bit of everything, I guess." Sam said, Mr. Cooper studying the three of you closely.

"You three have never worked a show in your lives before, have you?" Cooper asked, you letting out a slow breath.

"Nope. But we really need the work. Oh, and uh, Sam here's got a thing for the bearded lady." Dean joked, Sam shooting him a look.

"You see that picture? That's my daddy." Mr. Cooper said, pointing out an old black and white photo.

"You look just like him." Sam said, you looking at the photo a little longer before turning to Mr. Cooper.

"You really do." you said, thinking that they looked like the same person.

"He was in the business. Ran a freakshow. Till they outlawed them, most places. Apparently displaying the deformed isn't dignified. So, most of the performers went from honest work to rotting in hospitals and asylums. That's progress, I guess. You see, this place, it's a refuge for outcasts. Always has been, for folks that don't fit in nowhere else. But, you three? You should go to school. Find a partner, have 2.5 kids. Live regular." Mr. Cooper said, Dean opening his mouth to speak, Sam leaning forward, his eyes serious.

"Sir, we don't want to go to school. And we don't want regular. We want this." Sam said, both you and Dean looking at him a little shocked.

"Huh." Dean said, once the three of you had walked out of Mr. Cooper's office.

"What?" Sam asked, Dean pausing a moment before speaking.

"That whole, uh, I don't want to go back to school thing. Were you just saying that to Cooper or were you, you know, saying it?" Dean asked, both you and him watching Sam closely.

"Sam?" you asked, when he didn't answer.

"I don't know." Sam said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You don't know? I thought that once the demon was dead and the fat lady sings that you were gonna take off, head back to Wussy State. You know, leave all the work to me and Singer." Dean said, you elbowing him.

"I'm having second thoughts." Sam said, shocking you a little.

"Really?" you asked, Sam nodding.

"Yeah. I think...Dad would have wanted me to stick with the job." Sam said, Dean giving him a look.

"Since when do you give a damn what Dad wanted? You spent half your life doing exactly what he didn't want, Sam." Dean said, you whipping to face him.

"Dean!" you barked, Dean looking down at you.

"What? You know it's true." Dean said, you shaking your head.

"Since he died, okay? Do you have a problem with that?" Sam asked, looking at Dean, Dean finally turning to face him.

"Naw, I don't have a problem at all." Dean said, shaking his head as he walked off.

Sam, clad in a red "Cooper Carnival" jacket was picking up trash while surreptitiously scanning with the EMF meter. He walked up to the fun house and looked around before walking inside, still scanning. Suddenly, a skeleton fell from the ceiling, and Sam scanned it. The EMF meter didn't react, but Sam did get an idea.

Dean was wearing a similar red uniform jacket and picking up trash to put in the dumpster when his cell phone rang.

"Hello." Dean said.

"Hey, man." Sam said, Dean still looking around for trash.

"What's the matter? You sound like you just saw a clown." Dean teased, Sam huffing out a breath.

"Very funny. Skeleton, actually." Sam said.

"Like a real human skeleton?" Dean asked, thinking that it could be what the three of you were searching for.

"In the fun house. Listen, I was thinking. What if the spirit isn't attached to a cursed object? What if it's attached to its own remains?" Sam asked, on the same page as Dean.

"Did the bones give off EMF?" Dean asked.

"Well, no, but-" Sam started, Dean cutting him off.

"We should check it out anyway. I'm gonna grab Singer, then we'll head to you." Dean said, hanging up the phone, the blind man from earlier grabbing his arm.

"What are you doing here, kid?" the blind man asked, Dean thrown off by his sudden appearance.

"I'm...I was just sweeping." Dean said, the blind man not convinced.

"Bull. And, what were you talking about? Skeletons? What's EMF?" the blind man asked, rattling off rapid fire questions.

"Dude, your blind man hearing is out of control." Dean said, shocked that he overheard everything.

"We're a tight knit group. We don't like outsiders. We take care of our own problems." the blind man said, a little threateningly.

"We got a problem?" Dean asked, watching the man closely.

"You tell me. You're the one talking about human bones." the blind man said, Dean racing to come up with an explanation.

"Do you believe in ghosts?" Dean blurted out.

"What?" the blind man asked, thrown off by the question.

"My brother, my girlfriend, and me...umm. We're writing a book about them." Dean said before quickly excusing himself to find you.

Dean had tried calling your phone a couple of times, each call going straight to voicemail. He walked around the grounds until he came upon the Strongman's tent. Mr. Cooper had given you the job of his assistant, and Dean could tell that the two of you were in the middle of a show, the crowd's applause and cheering ringing out from the tent.

Dean stepped through the opening and stood at the back of the crowd, watching as you walked around the strongman, showcasing him like a model would a prize on The Price is Right. This was the strongman's act, but Dean couldn't help but notice that most eyes were on you.

You always did have a habit of turning heads, but the skin tight, barely there crop top and skimpy shorts that left little to the audience's imagination certainly wasn't helping. Dean shrugged off his red jacket, dead set on covering you up the second you were off stage, and watched as the strongman prepared for the final act of the show.

Dean watched the strongman get down on one knee in the center of the stage, and hold out a hand to you. You circled around him before coming to a stop at his side, facing towards the crowd. The strongman turned the hand closest to you palm side up, his arm bent at the elbow, and you eased yourself down until you were sitting on his hand. With one fluid motion the strongman stood up, using his free hand to hold onto your hand to help balance you. With a nod of his head the strongman fully extended his arms, and the crowd went wild as he balanced you above his head.

Even though you had a bright smile plastered on your face Dean could tell that you were about two seconds away from losing your cool. Dean tossed his jacket on the back of one of the empty chairs and pushed his way to the stage, the corner of his mouth turning up when he saw how relieved you were to see him.

"Ivan, down." you said, the strongman looking up at you. "Pryamo seychas, mudak." you spat, Dean looking at you in confusion as Ivan quickly put you down.

As soon as your feet hit the stage you were whipping around to face Ivan, who was backing up with his hands up. Dean quickly jumped up on the stage and grabbed you around the waist, pulling you back towards him.

"Come on, Singer." Dean said as you struggled in his hold.

"No, no, no. That fucker has it comin'. Not only did I have to deal with his fuckin' hand up my God damn ass all day, but my gloves weren't worthy of the costume." you said, Dean walking you back to the edge of the stage. "I could hear everything. He's lucky most of it was in Russian, or I probably would have bashed his God damn brains in." you added, Dean huffing out a laugh.

"Want me to go knock the guy on his ass?" Dean asked, still holding onto you, your fists clenched to keep from touching him.

"All I'm gonna say is that if you don't get me outta here we're gonna have another body on our hands." you said, Dean releasing you before walking down the steps.

"Let's go then. Sam thinks he may have something." Dean said as the two of you walked to the back of the tent, Dean grabbing his discarded jacket off the back of the chair and draping it over your shoulders.

"What'd you say back there, anyway?" Dean asked as the two of you walked out of the tent.

"Called him an asshole." you said, pulling the jacket closed around you.

"You speak Russian?" Dean asked, one brow raised.

"I picked up a few words from dumb ass back there, but I'm pretty fluent in curse words in most languages." you said, Dean chuckling as the two of you walked to meet Sam.

"What took you guys so long?" Sam asked, looking between you and Dean.

"You don't wanna know." you sighed, Dean nodding.

"Yeah, long story." Dean said, Sam shaking his head in frustration.

"Mommy, look at that clown!" a little girl shouted, the three of you looking over to see a little girl pointing at nothing.

"What clown?" the child's mother asked. "Come on sweetie, Come on." she said before pulling the little girl away, the three of you sharing a look, knowing that you had the next targets.

"I cannot believe the two of you told Papazian about the homicidal phantom clown." Sam said, the three of you on stakeout outside the family from the carnivals home.

"It's not like we sought him out. We bumped into him on our way to meet you, and he started asking questions. We had to tell him something." you said, leaning up from the backseat.

"And that's what you came up with?" Sam asked, you rolling your eyes.

"Look, we told him an urban legend about a homicidal phantom clown. We never said it was real." Dean said as he pulled out his gun and cocked it, Sam grabbing at it, pushing Dean's hands down.

"Keep that down!" Sam scolded, afraid that someone would see.

"Relax, nobody can fuckin' see anything." you said, Dean speaking up before Sam could say anything to you.

"Oh, and get this. We mentioned the Bunker Brother's Circus in '81 and their uh, evil clown apocalypse. Guess what." Dean said, Sam paying close attention.

"What?" Sam asked, anxious for Dean to continue.

"Before Mr. Cooper owned Cooper Carnival, he worked for Bunker Brothers. He was their lot manager." you explained, Sam nodding.

"So, you think whatever the spirit's attached to, Cooper just brought it with him?" Sam asked, you shrugging your shoulders.

"Something like that. It's the best we could come up with for now." you said, Dean shaking his head and sighing.

"I can't believe we keep talking about clowns." he said, you laughing under your breath as you leaned back in your seat, Dean closing his eyes.

Dean was dozing in the front seat when a light flicked on in the family's dining room, both you and Sam jumping to attention. Sam quickly shook Dean awake while you opened the bag next to you and started pulling out weapons. The three of you quickly exited the vehicle and rushed to the house, dead set on getting inside before the spirit did.

The three of you were hiding in wait, weapons at the ready as the little girl started to lead the clown down the hallway, "Wanna see Mommy and Daddy? They're upstairs." the little girl said, Sam leaping out and grabbing the girl, who started to scream.

Dean fired off a shot and hit the clown in the chest, the clown falling on it's back. You held your gun on him and quickly fired off another shot when he started to get back up.

"What the fuck?" you asked, the clown getting to his feet as both you and Dean tried to rack in another round.

"Sam, watch out!" Dean yelled, the clown leaping out the window, turning invisible as it ran away, the girl's parents rushing into the room.

"What's going on here? Get away from my-" the girl's father started, the mother quickly jumping in.

"Oh my God! What are you doing to my daughter?!" the mother asked, a horrified look on her face.

"Who the hell are you? Get out! Get out of my house!" the father yelled, the three of you running away as fast as you possibly could.

Dean pulled the minivan off the side of the road and put it in park. The three of you climbed out and started to dig out all of your belongings, Dean stopping to take the license plates as well.

"You really think they saw our plates?" Sam asked, watching as Dean tucked the plates into his bag.

"Not worth the chance." you said, hitching your bag up on your shoulder, Dean nodding in agreement.

"Besides, I hate this fuckin' thing anyway." Dean said, the three of you starting to walk down the road. "Well, one thing's for sure."

"What's that?" Sam asked, looking over to Dean.

"We're not dealing with a spirit." Dean said, you nodding.

"Yeah, that rock salt hit something fuckin' solid." you said, Sam looking to you.

"Yeah, a person? Or maybe a creature that can make itself invisible?" Sam asked, you shrugging your shoulders.

"Yeah, and dresses up like a clown for kicks? Did it say anything in Dad's journal?" Dean asked, Sam shaking his head.

"Nope." Sam replied, clearing his throat and pulling out his phone.

"Who are you calling?" Dean asked, nodding towards Sam's phone.

"Maybe Ellen or that guy Ash will know something." Sam said.

"They'll definitely be able to narrow it down and give us a direction to go in." you said, Sam pausing in the middle of dialing the number.

"Hey, you guys think, uh, you guys think Dad and Ellen ever had a thing?" Sam asked, looking between you and Dean.

"No way." Dean said, shaking his head.

"Then, why didn't he tell us about her?" Sam asked.

"I don't think it's that big of a deal. I mean, I knew her and never said anything. It just never came up. You don't gotta tell people every single fucking person you know." you said, Sam shaking his head.

"But, she said he was like family once. I just think it's a little weird that he never mentioned her." Sam said.

"I don't know, maybe they had some sort of falling out." Dean said, Sam looking down at his feet.

"Yeah, you guys ever notice that Dad had a falling out with just about everybody? I mean, look at him and Bobby." Sam said, looking to you.

"I don't have anything to say about that." you said, Sam looking to Dean.

"Can't you see it?" Sam asked, Dean nodding casually, Sam lowering the phone. "Well, don't get all Maudlin on me, man."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, you knowing that a fight was bound to break out.

"Sam." you warned, Sam waving you off.

"No, no. You both need to hear this. This strong, silent thing the two of you are doing is crap." Sam said, Dean shaking his head.

"Oh, God!" Dean sighed, you preparing to break the two of them up.

"I'm over it. This isn't just anyone we're talking about." Sam said, looking at Dean. "This is Dad. I know how you felt about the man."

"You know what, back off, all right? Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me to." Dean fired back, you stepping between them.

"We're not gonna do this right now." you said, Sam completely ignoring you.

"No, no, no, that's not what this is about, Dean. I don't care how you deal with this, but you have to deal with it, man, both of you. Drinking yourselves stupid doesn't count. Listen, I'm your brother, all right?" Sam said before looking to you. "Y/N, you're like my sister, and I know that you are going through things right now, too. I just want to make sure that you guys are okay."

"Sam, I'm fine." you said, Sam sighing before looking to Dean.

"Dude, I'm okay. I'm okay, okay? I swear, the next person who asks me if I'm okay, I'm gonna start throwing punches. I don't understand why you have to keep pushing. I mean, fuck, it's like the only peace I can get is when I'm working on the car, or when I'm with Singer. She gets it, man. Why can't you? These are your issues, quit dumping them on us." Dean said, you ready to jump in.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, Dean looking down at his feet, pausing a moment before making eye contact with Sam.

"I just think it's really interesting, this sudden obedience you have to Dad. It's like, oh, what would Dad want me to do? Sam, you spent your entire life slugging it out with that man. I mean, hell, you...you picked a fight with him the last time you ever saw him. And, now that he's dead, now you want to make it right? Well, I'm sorry Sam, but you can't, it's too little, too late." Dean said, you putting your hand on his chest to stop him.

"Why are you saying this to me?" Sam asked, you shaking your head.

"Don't. Enough is enough." you said, trying to protect Sam, Dean looking down at you before looking to Sam.

"Because I want you to be honest with yourself about this. I'm dealing with Dad's death! Are you?"Dean asked, you pushing against his chest.

"God fucking damn it! I said that was enough. He got the fuckin' point." you said, Sam swallowing loudly, looking upset.

"I'm going to go call Ellen." Sam quietly said before walking ahead of you and Dean.

You and Dean caught up to Sam a little further down the road, neither one of you saying anything to each other about the blow up. Both of you kept a bit of distance from Sam and listened as he finished his conversation.

"Thanks a lot." Sam said before hanging up the phone and turning to you and Dean. "Rakshasa."

"What's that?" Dean asked, you thinking back to where you'd heard the name before.

"Ellen's best guess." Sam started, you interrupting.

"Rakshasa. That's Hindu, isn't it?" you asked, Sam looking to you.

"Yeah, it's a race of ancient Hindu creatures. They appear in human form, and they feed on human flesh. They can make themselves invisible, and they cannot enter a home without first being invited." Sam explained, looking between you and Dean.

"So, they dress up like clowns, and the children invite 'em in." Dean said.

"Yeah." Sam said, you nodding.

"That's pretty fuckin' smart." you said, both boys agreeing.

"Why don't they just munch on the kids?" Dean asked, Sam shrugging.

"No idea. Not enough meat on the bones, maybe?" Sam suggested.

"What else'd you find out?" Dean asked.

"Well, apparently, Rakshasas live in squalor. The sleep on a bed of dead insects." Sam said, you wrinkling your nose.

"Nice." Dean sighed, Sam nodding.

"Yeah, and they have to feed a few times every twenty or thirty years." Sam said, you jumping in.

"Slow metabolism, I guess." you said, Sam huffing out a breath.

"Well, that makes sense. I mean, the carnival today, the Bunker Brothers in '81." Dean said, Sam looking over to him.

"Right. Probably more before that." Sam said, you taking a few steps ahead of them before turning around to face them, continuing to walk backwards.

"Well boys, who do we know that worked both shows?" you asked, Sam and Dean sharing a look.

"Cooper?" Sam asked, Dean quickly speaking up.

"Cooper." Dean said, you nodding.

"You know, that picture of his father, that looked just like him." Sam said, you falling back in line with them.

"You think maybe it was him?" Dean asked.

"That's what I would bet on." you said, looking over at him.

"Yeah, who knows how old he is." Sam said, the three of you quiet for a moment.

"Ellen say how to kill him?" Dean asked, you speaking up before Sam could answer.

"Some kind of blade I think. I've read about it before, but I can't fuckin' remember." you said before looking to Sam.

"Legend goes, a dagger made of pure brass." Sam said.

"I think I know where to get one of those." Dean said, Sam stopping the two of you.

"Well, before we go stabbing things into Cooper, we're going to want to make damn sure it's him." Sam said, a serious expression on his face as he looked between you and Dean.

"Come on, Sam." you sighed. "Where's the fun in that?" you teased.

"You're such a stickler for details, Sammy." Dean said, the three of you smiling at each other. "All right, me and Singer will round up the blade, you go check if Cooper's got bedbugs."

Once the three of you were back on the carnival grounds Sam split away from you and Dean. He headed towards Cooper's trailer while you and Dean went to go find the blind man.

"Well, I've got all kinds of knives. I don't know if I've got a brass one, though." the blind man said, leading you and Dean into his trailer.

Sam picked the lock on Cooper's trailer and eased open the door. He stepped inside and quickly looked around, pulling out his pocket knife once he spotted the small bed. Sam walked over and started to slice through the mattress, looking for any evidence of dead insects. Suddenly, Sam heard a gun cock from behind him, and he instantly froze.

"What do you think you're doing?" Mr. Cooper asked, pointing his gun at Sam.

The blind man let you and Dean into his trailer and tapped a trunk with his cane, "Check the trunk." he said, Dean bending down to open the trunk, both of you spotting the red clown wig.

"Well, fuck me." you whispered, Dean standing back up.

"You?" he asked, the blind man dropping his cane before pulling off his glasses.

"Me." he said, his eyes going cloudy, his face beginning to melt as he waved, his face then disappearing Cheshire Cat style, his glowing eyes the last thing you saw.

Dean grabbed a hold of your wrist and pulled you towards the door. He started to struggle with the door, a knife flying past his head to bury into the door. You quickly pulled off a glove and held up your hand as Dean jumped back, another knife landing with a thunk a little higher.

"All right!" Dean yelled, you releasing the ball of light in the direction the knives came from, unsure if you even hit him.

"We need to fuckin' move." you said, looking back over your shoulder at him, Dean finally managing to get the door open.

"Hey!" Sam shouted, seeing the two of you tumble out of the trailer.

"Hey." Dean said, making sure that you were by his side.

"So, Cooper thinks I'm a Peeping Tom, but it's not him." Sam said, looking between you and Dean.

"Yeah, no shit." you said, looking behind you, Dean quickly jumping in.

"Yeah, we gathered that. It's the blind guy. He's here somewhere." Dean said, the two of you looking around.

"Well, did you guys get the-" Sam started to ask, Dean interrupting.

"The brass blades? No." Dean said, Sam looking to you.

"We were a little busy trying not to become fuckin' pin cushions. Asshole started throwin' fuckin' knives after he went all Invisible Man on us." you said, Dean nodding.

"Yeah, it's just been one of those days." he said, Sam pausing to think a moment.

"I got an idea. Come on." Sam said, leading the two of you towards the fun house.

The three of you entered the fun house, a door slamming down as you went through. Dean was on one side while you and Sam were on the other, both of them struggling to open the door.

"Sam! Singer!" Dean yelled, still trying to open the door.

"De, you okay?" you asked as Sam stopped trying.

"Dean, find the maze!" Sam instructed before pulling you along after him.

Sam stopped in front of a pipe organ, the organ giving off steam. He reached for one of the pipes, quickly pulling his hand back as he grimaced from the heat.

"Here." you said, grabbing onto the pipe with your gloved hands, trying to pull it down.

Sam stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out a bandanna before wrapping it around his hand, He grabbed onto the pipe and helped you pull, the pipe snapping free just as Dean came around the corner.

"Hey." Dean said, you pulling off your gloves as Sam took the pipe in his hands.

"Hey! Where is it?" Sam asked, looking frantically around.

"I don't know. I mean, shouldn't we see it's clothes walking around?"Dean asked, you shaking your head.

"We didn't see them in the trailer." you said, a knife flying past, pinning Dean's sleeve to the wall, another one zooming by to pin his wrist.

"Guys!" Dean yelled, Sam stalking forward slowly, a knife flying past his head.

"Where is he?" Sam asked, you trying to free Dean.

"I don't know!" Dean shouted, reaching up with his free hand and pulling a lever, more steam pouring from the pipe organ, giving a vague shape to the invisible attacker.

"Sam, behind you!" you yelled, Sam stabbing the pipe behind him without looking.

Sam turned to see the pipe buried in the still invisible creature, blood pouring from the wound. You and Dean finally managed to get him free, and the two of you turned to see only empty clothes and a bloody pipe.

"I hate fun houses." Dean breathed out, turning to look at you.

"Yeah." you said, letting out a slow breath.

Sam and Dean were sitting at the bar back at the Roadhouse as Ellen placed a couple of beers in front of them.

"You boys did a hell of a job. Your dad'd be proud." Ellen said before quickly surveying the room.

"Thanks." Sam said, Ellen turning her attention back to them.

"Y/N not with you?" she asked, Dean taking a swig of his beer.

"Said she had to talk to Ash about something." Dean said, Jo sitting on the other side of him, giving Sam a look.

"Oh yeah, um, I've gotta...uh, uh, I've gotta go. Over there. Right now." Sam said, quickly getting to his feet, stopping by Jo and leaning down to whisper in her ear. "I'd be careful if I were you." he said, knowing how temperamental you could be.

"So." Jo said, clearing her throat, completely disregarding Sam's warning.

"So." Dean said before taking another drink, knowing what she was going to say.

"Am I gonna see you again?" she asked, Dean looking straight ahead.

"I, uh, I don't know." Dean said, Jo leaning towards him.

"I wouldn't hate it, you know." she said, Dean taking a deep breath.

"Hmm. Can I be honest with you? See, in the past I'd be hitting on you so fast it'd make your head spin. But, uh, these days..." Dean said, trailing off when he saw you walk in from the back room.

"Wrong place, wrong time?" Jo asked, nodding towards you.

"There's no way I'm gonna mess that up." Dean said, Jo nodding.

"It's okay, I get it." she said, Ash walking out the same door you did, carrying the folder and a bizarre looking laptop.

"Where you guys been? Been waitin' for ya." Ash said, Ellen passing you a beer as you sat down at the bar.

"We were workin' a job, Ash. Clowns." Sam said, Ash raising a brow.

"Clowns? What the-" Ash started to ask, Dean cutting him off.

"You got something for us, Ash?" Dean asked, Ash setting the laptop down, the exposed wiring making it look homemade.

"Hey, Ellen, can I get something a little stronger?" you asked, the corner of Ellen's mouth turning up.

"What can I getcha?" she asked, you pushing your beer aside.

"Johnnie Walker." you said, Ellen turning around. "Make it a double." you added, Dean giving you a worried look.

"Did you find the demon?" Sam asked, Ash shaking his head.

"It's nowhere around. At least, nowhere I can find. But, if this fugly bastard raises his head, I'll know. I mean, I'm on it like Divine on dog dookie." Ash said, you laughing under your breath.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, needing a better explanation.

"I mean, any of those signs or omens appear, anywhere in the world, my rig'll go off. Like a fire alarm." Ash explained, Dean reaching for the laptop.

"Do you mind..."Dean started to ask, trailing off when Ash gave him a look, pulling his hand back from the keyboard. "Yeah."

"What's up, man?" Ash asked, Sam staring at the laptop.

"Ash, where did you learn to do all of this?" Sam asked, Ash shrugging.

"M.I.T.. Before I got bounced for fighting." Ash answered, Sam reeling back.

"M.I.T.?" Sam asked, a little shocked.

"It's a school in Boston." Ash said, like it wasn't a big deal.

"Okay. Give us a call as soon as you know something." Dean said, Ash nodding.

"Si, si, compadre." Ash said, Dean taking another sip of his beer before sitting it down and getting to his feet.

"Singer?" Dean said as him and Sam headed for the door, you downing the rest of your drink before standing up.

"Hey, listen...if you kids need a place to stay I've got a couple beds out back." Ellen said, you whispering something to Ash before joining Sam and Dean.

"Thanks, but no. There's something I gotta finish." Dean said, tossing his arm over your shoulders.

"Okay." Ellen said, giving the three of you a smile before you walked out the door.

The three of you had made it back to Bobby's, Sam and Dean were outside, and you were sitting at the kitchen table nursing a tumbler of whiskey.

"Mind if I join ya?" Bobby asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Don't ya think you're a little a long in the tooth to be drinkin' at this time of day?" you asked, Bobby huffing out a laugh.

"D'ya just sit around and think of ways to be a smart ass?" Bobby asked, grabbing a glass before sitting down across from you.

"Nope. I don't even have to think about it. It's just a natural talent." you shot back, sliding the bottle to him.

"What'd Ellen have to say?" Bobby asked, pouring himself a drink.

"She offered to help with the demon. Long story short, Ash is tracking it. He said if any signs pop up, he'll know." you said, Bobby nodding, the two of you slipping into silence. "You, uh...you said that I knew things when I was little." you finally said, Bobby looking up at you.

"Yeah." he said, trying to prepare himself for another fight.

"Well, what happened? I mean, I don't remember any of that, and all of....this." you said, holding up your hands, "didn't start until...well, it wasn't happening back then."

"I wish I had a solid answer for you, Kid. It all just kind of stopped out of nowhere. I...I can't explain it." Bobby said, you shaking your head. "Look, I'd give anything to be able to tell you-" he started, you interrupting.

"You can't tell me what you don't know." you said before picking up your drink and finishing it.

"I'm gonna do some diggin', see if I can find anything." Bobby said, watching you closely.

"Yeah, okay." you said, thinking about whether you should tell him what you and Ash talked about. "I, uh, I asked Ash for help." you finally said, a worried expression sliding onto Bobby's face.

"Kid, you can't...if the wrong person-" Bobby started, you interrupting.

"I didn't tell him anything like that. I just asked him if he could find my-" you said, stopping short. "I just asked if he could try to track him down. I only gave him his name. That's it."

"It's not safe. It's just gonna open a whole new can of worms, and-" Bobby tried to say, you cutting him off.

"Pretty sure the can's already been opened." you said, Bobby shaking his head.

"There are people out there, hunters, that aren't gonna read between the lines. There isn't going to be any gray areas with them. It's black or it's white. Kid, I'm not going to be able to keep you safe." Bobby said, you standing up from the table.

"My entire life has been a lie. I...I don't even know who I am anymore. I know that the truth probably isn't going to be pretty. It never is, but I think I deserve to know what it is. Dad." you said, Bobby looking up at you with teary eyes. "You can't hover over me my entire life. You gotta let me make my own way, and trust that I can handle myself."

"I know. It's just-" Bobby said, looking away from you, not able to finish his thought. "What if you find him, and..."

"Like you said, you may not have made me, but YOU are my father. I'm a Singer, and I'm not lookin' to fuckin' change that." you said, Bobby looking a bit relieved. "I...I just need to know-"

"I know." Bobby said, standing up from his seat. "Just promise me that you'll take care of yourself, and that you'll call if you ever need anything." he said, you walking over to him.

"I will." you said before wrapping your arms around him. "I just want to say this real quick, and them I'm gonna knock it the fuck off because it's gettin' a little too God damn mushy." you said before taking a deep breath. "I couldn't have picked a better man to be my father. I love you, Old Man."

"I love ya, Kid." Bobby said, kissing the top of your head, the two of you holding tightly to each other. "Now." Bobby said, clearing his throat. "You better go check on those idjits."

"Yeah." you said, holding on a second longer before stepping back , the two of you sharing one final look before you left the room.

"You were right." Sam said, Dean busy working on the Impala while Sam paced nearby.

"About what?" Dean asked, not looking up.

"About me and Dad. I'm sorry that the last time I was with him I tried to pick a fight. I'm sorry that I spent most of my life angry at him. So, you're right. What I'm doing now, it's too little. It's too late." Sam said, pausing a beat, his bottom lip trembling. "I miss him, man. And, I feel guilty as hell. And...I'm not all right. Not at all." he said, tears in his eyes. "But, neither are you. That much I know." he said, pausing. "I'll let you get back to work." he added before walking away.

Dean was still for a moment, all of Sam's words sinking in. He picked up a crowbar before walking to a nearby car and smashing out the window. He looked down at the crowbar in his hand before walking back to the Impala and slamming it into the trunk. He couldn't stop after that first hit. He just kept slamming the crowbar down, over and over, letting out all of the frustration and anger that he had been bottling up.

Dean finally took a step back, his shoulders slumping as he let the crowbar clatter to the ground. He looked back over his shoulder, expecting to see Sam standing there, his lip starting to tremble when he saw you standing where Sam had been. He quickly looked away, keeping his back to you as he tried to compose himself.

Things had been a little awkward between the two of you, both of you preferring to just skirt around everything. It was easier than talking about it. It was easier than having to face the truth. Vulnerability wasn't easy for either one of you, and you knew that in that moment Dean was feeling completely exposed. All of the feelings and emotions that he had been trying to bury deep down finally worked their way to the surface.

That was always the problem with holding everything in. You become a powder keg, a ticking time bomb, and you explode eventually. Then, you are bare. Every flaw, every weakness is on display for everyone to see, and you are left there trying to pick up the pieces of your own self destruction.

You knew that he probably wanted to be alone, to hide away until he could build that walk back up. You would want the same thing, but you couldn't let him be alone. You needed to let him know that you were there to help him pick up the pieces. So, without thinking anymore about it, you walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him from behind. You pressed yourself tightly to him, one hand coming up to rest over his heart.

Dean stood there completely stiff for a moment, struggling internally, trying his best not to break. You didn't say anything. It wasn't time for words yet. You just held onto him tightly, your cheek resting against his back. You finally felt him relax, his shoulders starting to shake.

"I'm right here." you softly said, Dean's hand coming up to rest over yours.

"S-Singer, I...I don't know what to do. I'm...lost." he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I know, De. I know." you said, pausing a moment. "But, I'm right here, okay? When you feel like you can't count on anything else, you can fuckin' count on that." you said, Dean squeezing onto your hand. "I'm not gonna tell you that I know what to do, or that I have any answers because I don't. But, I will tell you that I'll be here every step of the fuckin' way." you added, Dean silent for a moment.

"You and me." he finally said, you taking a deep breath.

"You and me." you repeated, those three words saying everything that needed to be said.

A/N: Hey guys, I just want to apologize for the delay again. I also want you all to know just how much I appreciate each and every one of you. All of the kind words and love I have received mean the world to me. <3 <3

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#supernatural reader insert #spn series rewrite #series rewrite #season two #reader insert #dean winchester #dean #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #SPN #spn fic #Sam Winchester

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