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[wcndrlustx-blog]

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So clearly this isn’t an rp anymore but would anyone be interested in finding or forming a small group to stay together?

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[wcndrlustx-blog]

fvckmatts:

letting his guard down was something that was difficult for matt to do. he always liked to keep himself alert at all times, always making sure that no one was to ever get too close to him. he preferred it that was, mainly stemming from his own issues of allowing himself to be ‘weak’ in front of others. however, it was easy for bee to break down the walls that he had spent the past year and a half building up. it was easy for him to allow her into the deepest aspects of himself that he swore that he wouldn’t allow anyone to see ever again. before she could make her way out of the record store matteo stepped in front of her, blocking her way from exiting out the door. a sense of panic arose through his body, seeing as though he had made the girl upset — a bad habit that he did a little too much. “ hey, what’s up with you? why are you acting so weird all of a sudden? ” he questioned, his voice coming out a little harsher than he had intended it to, only adding salt to an already bleeding wound. he was never good at handling the emotions of others, which was one of the reasons why he failed to understand just why bee was upset. he thought that she understood the routine already — he liked to keep her close, but also distant as well. it was something that matteo believed would make it easier for the two of them, especially since his feelings for her have only grown stronger. something that particularly scared him. the last time he had felt these kind of feelings for someone was with gem, and judging by how that relationship had ended the last thing that he wanted for the two of them was to end up hurting one another, just like he had done with his ex. he liked the dynamic that he and bee shared. he liked that he could spend hours talking about music with her, or spend the entire day cooped up in his house doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company.  “ talk to me. ” please, he wanted to add. he knew that if she were to leave, this would only be the start of her getting rid of him, and he knew that as much as he didn’t want to admit it to himself, he needed bee more than she knew it.  

when matteo blocked the exit she could tell that he was aware that something was up, something was very different in this goodbye then the many others before. the thing was bee could feel herself going numb, that with every painful time he turned cold on her she became a little more and more numb to it all. it was hard for her to be so vulnerable with him, to give someone parts of her heart time and time to only be returned with a cold shoulder the next minute, and always a quick kiss to keep her lingering on a bit longer. but she was beginning to realize it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough to only be held by someone when they were half asleep and drunk. to only be kissed in a backroom where no one could see them, to be around someone who could only tell her he cared by playing a love song instead of actually saying it. “nothing i’m good.” she lied trying to to get too emotional, but it somehow felt like this was a goodbye, and not one of their many goodbyes but a real honest to god goodbye. she felt a little shaky, like she was cutting off the one thing in her life that brought her joy. bringing around matteo when he was interested in her was oh so intoxicating, but when he cut her off or blew her off for another girl she felt like she couldn’t breathe. she was tired of acting like she was fine, like she was okay with him constantly making her feel like she wasn’t enough. “i’m not acting weird, isn’t this what we do. we hook up and then you pretend i don’t exist for the next few days until you find it useful to use me again.” she said revealing a little much in her shaky tone that was actually very much upset. her eyes were stinging a little and bit on her lip a little trying to stay strong even though she could tell her was upset himself. she didn’t want to lose him but with how things were now she didn’t really have him either. when he asked her to talk to him she could hear the desperation seeping in her voice. “I can’t do this anymore..” she said her voice low and weak, but she knew she had to do this, despite how much her heart didn’t want her to. 

[wcndrlustx-blog]

fvckmatts:

“ i guess i am a little thankful that you’re willing to come in to keep little ole’ me company during my breaks. you make for a pretty good distraction. ” the words flew effortlessly out of his mouth without him even realizing what he was saying. he often wondered what will make bee finally stay away. it was almost like a game to him — a sick one, where he would constantly push her buttons and try to figure out what exactly it was that made her tick. could it be seeing him with other girls? or seeing the hickeys stained against his skin once he was back from another emotionless night spent with someone else other than her? his mind wandered as he watched bee walk away from him with nothing but pure hurt in her eyes. he tried to fight the urge to grab her arm and pull her back into his chest, wrap his arms around her and tell her that he would want nothing more than for her to stay. he knew he had hurt her once again. he could tell by the way she was so quick to get away from him, as if he were toxic, which he knew in every right he was. he almost wanted her to leave for good. make it easier for him to stay away from her, knowing that the more he dragged her along the more hurt he would bring into her life. however, he couldn’t stop himself from going after her. his eyes locked in on the mixtape that was now placed on the counter, knowing very well that it was meant for him though he didn’t deserve it. this was a tradition that the two hard started since the very beginning, both knowing that it was easier to speak through song lyrics than face to face. “ another tape, huh? what’s this one about now? ” it was almost as if the tape was a confirmation that he still had her. still had her wrapped around his finger, knowing she wouldn’t leave. he carefully placed his fingers underneath her chin, tilting her head up so that their eyes met.  “ hey — i can’t even get a kiss goodbye? ” he said with a raised brow, leaving the girl with a tender kiss on her rose colored lips. he did all the right things, preformed a script that he knew all too well to make sure she would come back to him. he knew he couldn’t be cold for too long, seeing as though he always needed to pull her right back once he knew she was starting to pull away. 

“oh well you know you don’t suck seeing you so it’s not too much of a hassle making my way down here.” she said smirking and poked his ab gently. this was so true to how they communicated, they used sly comments masks by sarcastic tones so they couldn’t admit how true the statements were. her heart sunk a little knowing that with matteo the closest thing she’d probably ever get to him telling her he actually liked her would be accompanied by a comment on how she was just a distraction. a distraction from what she often wondered? a distraction from the millions of other girls he seemed to do the exact same thing as he did with her. and try as she might to be completely cool with the little deal they had made it still stung every time she find a hickey she most definitely didn’t leave. or when she’d find hints that his body had been used with someone else. she knew their deal was purely physical but still try as she might she find herself wanting and liking matteo for much more than their backroom hook ups. she moved away from him when he coldly asked her to go and she wondered how long she could really continue doing this. how long could she let him string her along, her self esteem and confidence lowering with every time he pushed her away. she knew any girl with any self respect would tell him to get lost, to go back to the gaggle of girls waiting on standby. but still something always seemed to pull her back to him, as if he was a magnet with a killer smile and a soft sweet side she knew rarely many saw. but how long was she supposed to put up with his cold, uninterested demeanor, just for those brief moments where he was kind and intoxicating. she couldn’t help want him, to want him in ways he just wasn’t maybe ready, or ever ready to give. sighing she heard him ask if she made him another tape. of course she did it was part of their deal. they’d make each other tapes of songs that spoke the words they never could and maybe as a way to keep the other lingered on. “you could try listening to it.” she snapped back when he asked about the type, her voice a little harsher tone than she hadn’t managed to use until now. it was obvious she was annoyed and feeling now rejected and distant from him all so suddenly. as he asked for a kiss goodbye she rolled her eyes, relaxing a little when he kissed her gently. she knew this move all to well, he’d use it whenever she grew some confidence a little as a way to keep her crawling back. however this time it felt different, she felt like the lines were beginning to lose the magic they once held with every time he used them. so instead of saying see you soon let she always did she just grabbed her stuff and headed for the door. 

[wcndrlustx-blog]

limondrp:

           eyes squint. dry eyes and cotton mouth, EVER  the  DUO for a high. fox shuffles closer, hands moving to clutch at the bottom of his sweatshirt. another symptom, one he cannot ever seem to escape no matter  HOW  MUCH he smokes –––  the  munchies  ––– EATS at him. he doesn’t know how long he’s been there, standing with his gaze constant on the rack of salty snacks in front of him. he can’t decide  WHAT  to get!! his gaze wanders to his left, to the other customer on the aisle. paranoia sets in.  they know.  they know he’s toasted out of his mind.

bee was scanning from aisle to aisle trying to figure out just exactly she felt like eating. to be fair when she was this high everything in arms reach looked amazing however the four bucks in her pocket left her a little limited to her options. she turned to make sure she wasn’t being painfully obvious that she was stoned but to be honest it probably looked like she was going to steal more than it looked like she was higher than a kite. turning she tucked a strand of curly hair behind her ear and noticed her friend fox staring intently at a rack of snacks covered in salt. she moved over to him and nudged his shoulder gently with her own and giggled at him moving closer to the boy. “ok we need to get out of here, grab the chips and let’s go.” she said laughing until his shoulder nuzzling a little. “did you ever think how cheetos have a cheetah as a mascot, isn’t the world just a beautiful place.” she said tracing her fingers gently along the boy’s arm, bee always getting a touchy feeling when she was stoned.

[wcndrlustx-blog]

✿ø""✘# (juliet to ivan)

✿ for a text that SUGGESTIVE text.

[sent 10:27 pm] my friends bought me lingerie to celebrate the ‘engagement’

[sent 10:28 pm] i’d consider showing you…expect… i hate you.

ø for a LATE NIGHT text.

[sent 1:03 am] where the fuck are you?

[sent 1:03 am] this house is so creepy at night and there are noises and i hate it here so much.

[sent 1:05 am] so help me if you are at the bar again i’m going to call your dad, this is bullshit. 

“” for an WASNT SENT text.

[unsent 8:12 pm] you know when you aren’t being totally obnoxious and overall just a drunk ass, you are actually kind of cool, and kind of hot.

✘ for a HATEFUL text.

[sent 10:02 pm] you are the most insufferable, unbearable, most irritating person i’ve had the displeasure of being around. 

[sent 10:08 pm ] all you do is drink and bitch and moan and oh my gosh if I have to spend another day around you i’m going to lose my mind. 

# for a RANDOM text.

[sent 9:42pm] can i pls have a puppy? just one. this house is so unbearably boring and a puppy would make it less unbearable. 

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??%☎$✿ (bee to fox)

?? for a text that DRUNK text.

[sent 9:27 pm] hye so iM jsut sayiin yuo loookd nicice tonigt. lke reaal goodd

“✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text.

[sent 2:33 am] hey…so matt’s not answering and this movie is terrifying and usually i’m fine but it’s legit so scary. come over please?

“%” for an CURIOUS text.

[sent 7:32 pm] did you ever go home with that girl from the bar? just wondering

☎ for a RUSHED text.

[unsent 3:31am] i am on my way! don’t et my fries!!!!

$ for a ACCIDENTAL text.

[sent 9:42pm] hey..so the ac is out in my apartment so wearing clothes doesn’t make sense right now? what should we do in this heat? 

[sent 9:43 pm ] fuck, shit, these stupid group chats confuse me. brb dying.

[wcndrlustx-blog]

what's your favourite thing to do on lazy days when you have 0 obligations?

“burn a million mixtapes of really obscure music, listen to said music, smoke a few joints. honestly those are some of my favorite days to be honest.” 

[wcndrlustx-blog]

DO YOU TAKE A LOT OF SELFIES?

“i’d rather take the picture than be in it to be honest.” 

“yep, but you would too if you knew all your perfect angles.” 

[wcndrlustx-blog]

Do you think that you and Matt will end up together? (Bee)

“honestly? the chances of that are pretty slim, matt’s made it pretty clear that i’m disposable to him so i don’t see him settling down with the girl he so clearly sees as being temporary.”

[wcndrlustx-blog]

“” / ✿ / ø — 4 bee :~)

“” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[unsent 3:31am] there was a moment, tonight, you almost held my hand for a moment longer than usual? was that on purpose or just because you had too much to drink? whenever you can’t sleep do you ever wish I was there next to you or is this all just some game on how long can you keep my hanging on?

“✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text.

[sent 9:42pm] meh, i’m slightly drunk and very cuddly and no one to cuddle. think you could help me out in the department? also i’ve seemed to misplaced my dress …😏

“ø” for an LATE NIGHT text.

[sent 1:32am] i just really don’t want to be alone tonight, i watched a really scary movie and now I am totally hearing things and this isn’t some line but can you just come over and just sleep next to me.

[sent 1:33 am] please..

[wcndrlustx-blog]

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. Send “” for a text that WASN’T SENT. Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text. Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text. Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text. Send “#” for a RANDOM text. Send “@” for a SCARED text. Send “&” for a LOVING text. Send “%” for a CURIOUS text. Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text. Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text. Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[wcndrlustx-blog]

location: ivan’s home in saltwater ; time: friday 7:03 pm

featuring: @limondrp

it was a friday night, a little past seven pm and juilet was sitting on a couch scrolling through her social media accounts on her rose gold bedazzled iphone. she was bored and not to mention going beyond stir crazy despite being in a huge mansion with breathtaking waterside views. to be honest juilet had always kind of pictured her life turning out in some kind of similar scenario to this. living in a huge house, with a huge diamond on her finger, however what she didn’t plan was to have a fake fiancé and she definitely didn’t picture spending her friday nights stuck in a empty mansion all alone. she scrolled through mindlessly through the pictures of people she knew, some she didn’t, and somehow they all looked happy. to the outside perspective someone might have assumed she, herself, was just as happy but behind her fake plastered on smile she just felt empty and hallow. her life was basically an allusion, and she felt like a fake prop to be used whenever ivan found it convenient to use her to push his own agenda. she looked at her ring, sparkling in the dim lit living room and found herself frowning a little. this is what she thought she wanted, a rich husband who left her alone to do what she wanted, yet here she was feeling more lonely than ever. hearing the door opening she stood up, a shadow formed in the doorway, the smell of scotch making it’s way to the room and she rolled her eyes annoyed by the pure presence of her “fiancé” and put her phone down. “out drinking again I see.” she said her tone harsh and annoyed.

[wcndrlustx-blog]

to do list & updates :

so a quick update i’m thinking of switching james fc and possibly giving him a slight revamp bc my muse for him is a lil off? so yah I’m thinking switching his backstory & maybe fc. so fc ideas & suggestions are what’s up. moving on ...

to do list 

post a closed para from juilet for @limondrp

figure out who I want james to be played by fc wise & his new bio

reply to starters

send out mssg’s for plots to new peeps

reply to @fvckmatts closed para 

answer remaining anons

try not to die in this 97 degree heat 

[wcndrlustx-blog]

@limondrp

[wcndrlustx-blog]

[wcndrlustx-blog]

fvckmatts:

he wasn’t always this cold. sure, he still had the hard exterior that he had managed to build up after dealing with his father’s constant ridicule for years, but he actually enjoyed the idea of being with just one person before. being in a relationship and giving your all to someone. though throughout his years of college he slowly felt himself slipping away from everyone and attaching himself more the material things that now play a huge role in his life; the racing, the alcohol, and most definitely the drugs. “ ah, so is that why you keep coming in here? am i nothing more to you than just a pit stop after you’ve already gotten what you’ve really wanted? wow, i;m a little hurt. ” he placed his hand over his heart, trying his hardest to hide the laugh that was trying to escape from his mouth. once he heard the timer go off, he knew that their small moments of being entangled in one another would soon be coming to an end. he took a deep sigh before taking another pull from the joint, looking away from her to avoid the hues he knew he could barely resist. he exhaled, thinking to himself how could he have managed to let things go so far between them in just this short amount of time. she wasn’t supposed to make him feel like this, he wasn’t supposed to want to stay. if it were anyone else it would be easy for matt to just leave without saying goodbye. it would be easy to turn his back away from someone, anyone other than the girl standing in front of him. hearing her whisper, basically beg for him to stay hurt matteo more than it should have, seeing as though he knew just how much she was interested in him, and how he couldn’t bring himself to give her those same exact feelings back. “ i should probably get back behind the counter. ” he mumbled, breaking away from the girl. he handed the joint back to her before leaning against the other wall directly across from her, giving their bodies the space that he knew they needed but wasn’t ready to acknowledge just yet. it was easier for him, doing things this way. it caused less problems and allowed for him to remain free from falling for anyone. he wasn’t supposed to have feelings like this, and the idea of him growing more and more weak at the sight of her was enough to want her away from him completely. “ you should uh, go. ” he spoke after what seemed to him as a long pause between the two. “ maybe i can text you later or something? ” 

she rolled her eyes when he implied the only reason she kept coming back was because he was merely a pit stop. ironically, he made her feel like she was merely a pit stop until he found something better, someone worth committing to. it was like trying to keep up with matt was trying to catch the wind in your hands, impossible and exhausting to try to. “well seeing you when i make my pizza runs doesn’t totally suck.” she said her voice had a hint of playfulness in it, but they both knew their was truth behind it. the two of them never really talked much about how they felt, they simply used sarcastic tones and custom made mixtapes to express themselves and the feelings they tried to mask. when he moved away from her she felt her heart sinking a little, already wanting him to make his way closer to her again. so as much as bee tried to keep up with the constant push and pull that came with matt’s affection, she had to admit it didn’t hurt a little when like a light switch he turned cold and distant. it was as if the boy was literally two different people, one second he was all over her and with in mere seconds he was asking her leave. it was always the same, and it always made her have a sinking feeling in her heart, to a point where she forgot why she even kept coming back for more. was it just so easy for him to turn away, to walk away, as if she didn’t mean anything to him? when he mentioned getting behind the counter it was as if he had put a whole ocean of distance between them. pulling her now somewhat messy hair from their make out session moments away she looked down avoiding his eyes. “yeah definitely.” she said taking the joint from her taking a small hit before putting it out and exhaled slowly. it was like somehow the mood in the room had changed, that he know needed a whole room of space between them, was he that repulsed by the idea of spending more time around her. “I’m going, yeah, sure, whatever.” she said pushing past him trying her best to act as if her heart wasn’t aching and her head wasn’t throbbing. grabbing her bag from the counter she didn’t even really want to look at him, knowing one slight frown from the boy would be enough to make her cave. “see you around matteo.” she said leaving a mixtape she had worked on earlier on the counter and searched for her keys, refusing to look at the tattooed, creamy brown eyed, boy that held a piece of her very confused heart.