we-are-still-fighting-dreamers - Tumblr blog

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Naruto AU where everything is the same but Tobirama is a Pomeranian …..

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art sucker meets religious sucker

I had to

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Till this day I’m still mad that Shino never got to go on this mission and never even got to be in this friggin’ picture😤

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Who says that Tobirama hates Uchihas?

(Headcanon where Daddy Tobi adopts Kagami Uchiha. 💙🐣)

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Just some dumb doodle about how weird it must be to run into your former sworn enemies in a casual every day setting after you made peace.

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Based on this post by @kakairuincorrectquotes

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The assassin you sent after me is part of my found family now

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❤Uchiha's❤

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OBSESSED WITH THE IDEA OF TOBIRAMA ACCIDENTALLY ACQUIRING AN ONBAA WHEN HE’S RUNNING THROUGH THE FOREST

The onbaa is hiding in some trees and sees his fur collar, so drops down and hangs onto his back. Tobirama Did Not Consent To This.

Eventually he becomes attached to his weird bigfoot child. Hashirama loves his Strong and Handsome Son. Madara and Izuna are on their knees begging them to get rid of it before its mother destroys the village.

*cue tearful happy ending with the onbaa staying his big handsome son and living happily in the forest*

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Rating Dads in Naruto

Fugaku: 3/10. The emotionally distant father we all know. Did not cry when Itachi murdered everyone in their clan, did cry when Itachi got a girlfriend. Told Sasuke he was proud of him one time (but only when Itachi was busy). 

Hiruzen: 1/10. Loved Asuma, probably. We can guess. Put his other kid AND child-in-law in the Murder Corps, even though they had a baby. Not especially clear if his other child is even alive or dead??? It’s hard to be more emotionally absent than Fugaku but Hiruzen spent almost no quality time with any relative other than Konohamaru, whom he literally named Village Boy. Simultaneously everyone’s father and no one’s father. He should probably get 0 for his orphan policies but he gets 1 bc that’s a government thing not a parenting action. Had a couple of parental moments with Iruka, at least.

Shibi: 7/10, came to rescue his son in Part I. Tried to keep to keep both Shino and Torune away from Danzo in the anime. Has solid dad vibes. -3 simply because filling your child with beetles like they’re a maraca frightens me.

Hiashi: -6/10. Cannot think of a single reason why anyone would want Hiashi as a father. Outright awful to both of his daughters, but especially Hinata. Withheld Neji’s last parental message from his father until he publicly aired their clan mess out in front of everyone. I guess he didn’t put a caged bird seal on Hanabi but if that’s your metric for success the bar is so low it’s subterranean. 

Hizashi: 5/10, wanted a better life for his son than he had. Died for Hiashi though, which is a mistake on anyone’s part. Probably should’ve given Neji that letter himself.

Choza: 8/10, spends a lot of quality time with his son, protected him, taught him jutsu, reassured him he would find love. Shamed Choji a bit for having bad ninja instincts, but to be fair, at the time, he did. The -2 is mostly for early Naruto when he is in the anti-Naruto mobs. Not a good example for the kids.

Shikaku: 6/10, kind of emotionally distant and only shows his love through board games, but there in his own awkward way when it counts. I would not throw him out at Dad-Mart. 

Inoichi: 22/10, I love his ponytail and his definition of “optimistic love” is Sakura and Ino’s relationship. Also taught his daughter a lot, but the ponytail and wlw rights are enough for me to justify my rating.

Rasa: -10/10. You know why.

Dai: 9/10. Amazing dad. Remained a genin, the safest ninja career. Instilled values of love, perseverance, positivity and self-expression in Gai. Literally died for his son. Incredible 80s energy. -1 for teaching a baby a self-destruct jutsu.

Sakumo: 7/10, maybe should’ve tried some ninja therapy, bc his death was super traumatic for Kakashi. But seemingly had a good handle on the single dad thing when Kakashi was a young boy, encouraged Kakashi to become friends with Gai, and literally waited in Ninja Purgatory for like 20 years just so he and Kakashi could have emotional closure. Get you a dad as dedicated as that. Definition of “here for a good time, not a long time.” I also like his ponytail.

Minato: 4/10, one for each minute that he was a dad. Really good at speeches and hugs but he put Giant Weapon Pet in his newborn and then was gonna avoid single parenting via death seal even before he was impaled. Bruh. I forgive him for 38% of it because he’s handsome.

Old Dads R Us (Butsuma, Tajima, Hagoromo): -12/10, they all have stanky dad energy. Butsuma and Tajima try to use their kids as spies and make them fight to the death. Hagoromo describes his kids as genius and a dunce, and then leads them to fight through multiple cycles of rebirth. I know it was like, the Ninja Middle Ages or whatever, but they could each write a book on cultivating dysfunctional family dynamics.

Kizashi: 10/10, has a questionable hairstyle and even more questionable jokes. Barely canonical, but still a better influence in Sakura’s life than almost any other biological dad on this list. Is Sasuke’s father-in-law, which is the funniest fucking dynamic I can think of. I can think of no reason to knock points off. We stan.

Iruka: 10,000/10, the reason Naruto knows what love is, and therefore why the entire Ninja world knows what love is. Spends quality time, teaches Naruto values, tries to protect him, and literally acts as his father in the wedding. Doesn’t need genetic relation to radiate Incredible Dad Energy. I love him.

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Rating Naruto Dads: Lost and Found Edition

(These dads are all either found throughout the characters’ journeys or absent for some time before returning to meet with their child - Original Dad Rating Here)

Kakashi: 7.5/10. Is the only adult in Sasuke’s life consistently trying to show that he cares and instill values in him. Gave Naruto a basket of non-ramen related vegetables. Pulls back the child leash when his kids are about do something crazy. Doesn’t spend as much quality dad time with Sakura as the boys, but to be fair she has another perfectly good dad. Offered substitute parenting to almost every teenage ninja we know. Used his ninja presidency to bail his teenage terrorist son out of jail. Always catches his kids before they hit the ground. -2.5 for entering his students in the Chunin exams at age 12, but hey, he was given the parental equivalent of trying to defuse a bomb. B+ for effort. 

Yamato: 7/10. A reliable dad energy, who expects his kids to be the best version of themselves. Excellent in woodshop, a highly demanded Dad Quality. Tucked Naruto into bed after his panic attack. Tried to get to know his step-son Sasuke. Gets mad at people for hurting his kids’ feelings. Co-parented with Kakashi in Part II. Much like Sakumo in the first post, here for a good time, not a long time. Helped Kakashi to organize Naruto’s wedding and wanted to make the Uzumaki fam a wholeass house in Konoha Hiden. His points are lost purely for blowing in and out of their lives like a summer breeze. I am very biased.

Gai: 8.5/10. Very similar to Dai. Instills great values, protects his kids, pulls the child leash, supports Lee through his every journey, vibe checks Neji as needed. Incredible dad energy. Teeny deductions for teaching the self-destruction jutsu and for suggesting a suicide pact with a thirteen-year-old re: Lee’s operation. But hey, eyebrow-taijutsu solidarity.

Kaiza: 9/10. Do you remember Inari’s stepdad, way back in the Wave arc? He was pretty cool. Industrious, kind, buff dad. Once again, I don’t know if you should tell a six-year-old when you love something you should die for it, but I understand the moral of the story. 

Jiraiya: :S/10. My culture doesn’t have godfathers but I’m not sure that’s what you’re supposed to do when they make you one.

Zabuza: 4.5/10. Rescued, mentored and loved his adopted son Haku but only expressed it fully for it after he’d jumped in front of a jutsu. Really did not help Haku form a healthy worldview. Use your words, Zabuza!!

Minato Again But As a Zombie: 7/10. Cries because he is so proud of Naruto. Openly enamoured with his wife, a pleasant asset in any dad. Teaches Naruto a fun new jutsu he learned in Ninja Purgatory. Tries to resurrect him from the dead. Spends time with him on his birthday, which is arguably the only time we’ve ever seen a father do that in Naruto. He’s learning from his mistakes.

Kurenai: 10/10. As the primary source of actual parenting for both Hinata and Mirai, Kurenai is an honorary dad. Takes Hinata under her wing and is proud of her perseverance, and maintains the most well-adjusted team of any of the jonin sensei. Enjoys spicy food and alcohol, making her perfect Dad Company at a barbecue. Honourable mention to Asuma, who would also be okay company at a barbecue (RIP). 

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Everytime I watch this opening all I can think is where the hell is team 8 at?

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Kurenai genjutsu by Nivalis70

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One of those funny wedding pictures but with MadaMito. Y'know, those pictures where the bridesmaids of honor and the bride and groom and everyone are doing funny poses

So heres a quick sketch.. i didnt really know who to include ngl Mito's -1 screentime makes things complicated.

Ik the funny poses r kinda missing but I couldnt imagine anything but most people being mad or depressed especially MadaTobi

Pls dont sue me

Bonus: (the dads (Ashina, Tajima, Butsuma)

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What if Nidaime and Anbu! Izuna

👀

PS. Edited from Shippuden ep.443

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Definitely needs more screen time

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“If I could keep the sharingan open always, I would. Just so I would never forget a moment with you.”

Annnnnd that’s a wrap! Happy valentine’s day to everyone and huge thank you to @kakairu-rocks​ for hosting the valentine’s event, it was a ton of fun!

Bonus close-up of the cheer gang!