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remember when fyre fest happened like a year or so ago and there was this article where the attendees complained about how shitty it was but there was this one middle class dude who won a ticket through like a lottery or something and had the time of his life because rich people suffering is great. i hope y’all remember it is today’s mood
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*marries u but only as a friend*
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“MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WEEKEND, BUT IT’S GONNA BE MY YEAR” I scream at 12 am with tears streaming down my face and a bottle of champagne in my hand. it has not been my year yet. it’s not even a weekend today is Thursday
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adhd culture is writing fast but having your mind go even faster so you accidentally a few words
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nothing i can add to this would make it funnier than it already is
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kid: dad whats a 69
dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]
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Proof That Baby Showers Are the Literal Worst (x)
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TIL an economist won the lottery 14 times by calculating when the jackpot got higher than the cost by buying every possible number combination and doing just that.
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©
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i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
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I spent this entire game chasing one person. 
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#forever mood
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I was looking through pictures on my phone and………..summer 2012 was a bad time for me
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