wearethechaotic

[wearethechaotic]

You say you want beast not prince but when you come face to face with a monster, you realize you’re just another foolish girl in a red cloak, searching the wood for more than what’s good for you.

[wearethechaotic]

Writing by Clara McGowan

[wearethechaotic]

Excerpt from “On Wishing My Abuser Well, Part 1″ by Schuyler Peck (@schuylerpeck), featured in her poetry collection To Hold Your Moss-Covered Heart

[wearethechaotic]

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

[wearethechaotic]

There is no peace in chaos

When chaos takes from you, the way it took from so many before, you will ask “Why me?”

Chaos will turn, look back at you and echo, “Why them?”

[wearethechaotic]

Holy Justice

they call me ‘victim’, they say

circumstance did this to you

I say, you did this to me

I say,  I am only what you turned me into

I say, this is divine intervention

I say, you made me,

 so I will end you

[wearethechaotic]

Character Concept: My Mom

There are too many stories to tell about Dana. All of them would give you a glimpse into the family I was raised by and the people who made me who I am. My dad is a proud, invulnerable man who stands tall and keeps his chin high but my mother, she is an entire universe of kindness, selflessness, and unfailing loyalty encased in a body. Her body has failed her more times than any of us could probably count, but I think it because the mortal coil she’s stuck inside truly can’t handle the power and energy her eternal being has. She was not built for this mortal machinery, and it shows. In everything she does she is more than just human, everything she’s touched with her fingers now shines with gold shimmer and the words from her mouth are something not everyone deserves to hear.

Opinionated and as headstrong as a bull, Dana and I don’t always agree, but I can tell you that her mind holds a wealth of knowledge that I want so bad to drill into. She may not know everything, as most beings rarely do. She could tell you everything there is to know about Runescape, and while she’s still figuring out Minecraft, she probably knows more technical things about the game than most people. She has trouble coping with the death of her character and doesn’t want to fight mobs or be put in any danger. I don’t know if she doesn’t understand the respawn mechanic, or she’s just too caught up in the game to realize there’s more to it than surviving.

I can also inform you that she has no trouble taking life by the balls and telling it she’ll do whatever the fuck she wants. Dana is a thrill seeker, anything to get that adrenaline going. Recently she picked up ghost hunting. She’s not actually gone ghost hunting yet, but preparing for interacting with the spiritual plane takes a while and I’m not going to rush her. As she does, she’s also managed to drag all of us, (me and dad mostly) into ghost hunting as well, not that either of us is going to argue in fact I think we’re both just happy she’s having fun.  I have respect for her ghost hunting desires but I don’t personally share the need to be in a dark place with possibly angry people I can’t see wandering around with the sole purpose to fuck with the living, but Dana has always been a special kind of fearless.

Terrified of spiders and most small rodents, she maintains perfect composure as she comes careening down the stairs to wrangle my dad and sacrifice him to the spiders so they will leave her alone for another year. This technique along with this amazing thing where she releases noise and such high decibels, the spiders just pop. It’s truly impressive to watch. Not to mention that she remains completely lady-like as she strings together curse words with the diction and elegance of a well-traveled medieval pirate.

Dana loves her cats. That’s a big subject to unpack because I think that actually she just likes things that don’t have homes. Always the doorman, Dana has no problem letting in any stray animal or human for that matter that has the gusto to share a home with her in the first place. While she may open her doors to anyone who needs it, its best not to cross the woman herself as I’m pretty sure the garden was converted to a rose scented graveyard years ago. While the outside of the house is a little worse for wear, the inside is warm and welcoming and filled with cats. The fireplace is literally on all the time and by turning it off you’ll cause the whole house to collapse and Dana would not be happy to clean up the remains of her home and start rebuilding it again, so just don’t fucking turn off the fireplace.

Getting the chance to meet and converse with Dana is a time and moment that you will need to cherish as I’m pretty sure she will do what she always does and give you advice that could either ruin your life or make your day and honestly it’s your problem what you do with the power she gives to you. She doesn’t hold back anything, whether it be truly necessary advice or just how much of a dumb cunt you’re being. I do respect that about her, it takes a lot of courage to say what she thinks and feels, but also what does she have to be scared of? Based on my research Dana is one of the most powerful and unforgiving beings dancing around this reality.

Her true and unforgiving beauty emerges from the moment you manage to make her laugh or smile. Her radiance is so powerful it could blind a man. Pushing mid-life crisis age she still sounds, acts, and looks, younger than any of her samely aged peers. But again, her mortal appearance is the last thing you should be worried about when you encounter her. She is more than how she looks and that has always been mind-blowingly obvious. The light in her eyes only gets brighter the more you can get her to smile. I don’t see her truly happy as much as I would like, any scientist knows that the more you experience the phenomena the more you learn.

The rare instances where I am blinded by her radiance are times and days I will never forget. Days like vacation to lake Billy Chinook and teaching the goddess herself how to smoke weed out of a bong or play Kings Cup, Christmas Eve when she got a free dab pen from the store and got so high and giggly none of us could stop smiling, Dad’s last birthday and the look of utter disgust as me and him took shots of fireball and Baileys mixed together. Also anytime the words ‘don’t be a pussy’ leave her lips.

For the people who are lucky enough to even call her acquaintance, I tell you being her daughter is more magic than any of you could handle. As a DM, I often imagine the people I know as more than they are. Deep in the land of dragons and fierce fighters, they live whole other lives. In that world, Dana is like she is in this life, but more the way she deserves to be portrayed.

Danyra Witherwillow is a high elf witch. Tall and tanned skin, rapier on her side and heart of oak staff in her hand. She stands tall, black hair tied around her head in intricate braids, feathers and flowers dotting the style. She’s angry, clad in full leather armor, a storm brewing in the clouds behind her. She stands for the weak, in this case, her forest home. The king’s men are setting fire to the woods and she will not stand for it. Gathering all her strength the sky cracks with her anger and the look in her eyes is enough to turn the lead guardsmen to stone. She utters a simple warning, “I fight for this land, and we are not falling this day.”

Some of the guard's cackle, wondering what this simple elf woman could do to stop all of them. She deepens her stance, pulling the staff up to protect her body, and with a terrifying battle cry the skies open up and a searingly cold downpour clouds the vision of the guards. Danyra has no worries, she somehow knows it won’t be her watering the trees with her blood. With the confidence of ten million man army, Danyra begins casting. Roots and vines disarm the men who came here only to do harm, as it's hard to hurt anyone with no weapons. The forest watches as she kills every last one of the hundred soldiers sent by the king, some she kills quickly with her sword, and some she allows the forest to suffocate or be crushed with the strength of the roots and vines entangling them. She kills their warhorses too, unforgiving and righteous, she has no mercy. The weather clears and the sun emerges and the earth swallows the bodies.

Laying her hand on the trunk of a nearby tree she can feel it pulsing thank you.

My mom might not be an adventuring elven galavant fighting to protect her home. She’s probably sitting on the living room couch with a cup of tea, surrounded by her cats, watching YouTube videos on her phone, wonder, and laughter in her eyes as she researches whatever topic she stuck on that week. While she’s not a sword-wielding witch deep in the forest, she and Danyra are the same. Dana stands in front of her family, all three of her kids stood proud behind her. She stares at anyone who dares threaten the life we have here together. She’s not saving a forest right now, but she is saving us.

Dana has been saving us since before we knew we needed to be saved. Sometimes I look at her from my perch in dad’s chair or the adjacent couch and I wonder if she ever thinks about the lives she’s living in other people’s realities. I wonder if she feels the people she saved, her trees, pulsing thank you. I wonder if she feels me, radiating thank you. Those are the only words I should ever say to her anymore. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

The thanks aren’t much. Just a small effervescent reminder of all she’s done for me, my friends, our family. She has taken what we built together as a family and she has laid down her own life to keep what we have.

“Us versus the world,” she says and smiles at me “that’s the way it’s always been.”

I never really thought of it like that. Us, the five of us, against the world and everyone in it, but it has made me realize that we are Danyra’s forest. We are the sky filled with storm clouds above her as she screams a single threat at our attackers, we are the pouring rain giving her the upper hand in battle, we are her rapier slashing through the flesh of the weak minded people who came for us, we are the vines and roots that take out what she misses, and we are, above all else, her home.

((I love my mom and honestly, this character is a baddy and I would play her fr))

[wearethechaotic]

i have a very important announcement to make!!!

were 8 people away from reaching 300 FOLLOWERS!!! im so happy i decided to use tumblr again, ive met so many great people in this fandom!

i wanna give a quick thank you to these people for making me feel welcome and chatting with me:

@sometimes-lemons @renn-galaxy @talavans-blog @claps-in-brail @imjustmelving @faythyloo @softdsouls

(i forgot the @s of some people so im sorry if i didnt tag you ;u;)

so, in celebration…

i’m doing a raffle!!!

HOW TO ENTER

simple! just reblog this post! likes are not included. you also have to be following me to enter!

PRIZES

1ST PLACE gets a full body detailed piece!

2ND PLACE gets a torso detailed piece!

3RD PLACE gets a full body sketch!

PRIZE LIMITS

for the 1st and 2nd place winners i will draw slight nsfw, furries, monsters and gore. 3rd place i can draw those listed besides slight nsfw and gore. no mecha, animals or backgrounds!

RAFFLE ENDS MARCH 31ST!

ill be announcing the winners on the night of the 31st!

thank you again all of my wonderful followers, and good luck!!!

[wearethechaotic]

my heart belongs to someone who doesn't even know he's holding it. every time we talk i think we should just get married and run off. we both could create beautiful new lives together. my family is a mess and your wife wont be happy but we could do it. i sometimes think of how it was when we met. 10 years ago now, you carved my name into a wall and i was yours. we never did get it right. we mailed while you were deployed. you said you wished it was me on your wedding day. i haven't talked to you since then. ive heard mixed rumors about your life and current state of divorce. but I don't like to talk about you. you were never truly mine but somehow my heart can't let you go. a boy asked me on a date and i said no. what if you come back.

[wearethechaotic]

if you really want to know

im pissed off.

I'm pissed off that you for put yourself where you are.

Im pissed off that you think i like seeing you this way.

Im pissed off because i can't be pissed off at you.

I can be pissed off at the situation. I can pissed off that you're not getting the care you need because of where we live. But no matter how i wish i could, being mad at you is just something i can't do.

[wearethechaotic]

a break up with death, who i was too close to for too long.

I have to go. There’s a lot of life left to go and I just can’t free up the time to go anywhere but to work and the grocery store. Lover you deserve more than the kind of love I can give you. My love isn’t much because I don’t really love much and that’s okay I think I was born that way. I’m sorry and this time, for real. I led you on and I flirted with you one too many times. I would whisk myself to the brink of running away with you, and then pull myself just barely back from the edge. There’s nothing I can say that will fix your heart, I saw my whole life in your eyes and realized I wanted more; more than what you could offer me in those short moments we spent together. You were warm, more so than I ever expected, and you didn’t deserve the way I played with you. The truth is, our life together would’ve ended the same day it started, and my life needs me, that’s what makes it mine. I can no longer romanticize you, or what you are to me. I should be scared of you, but last week when we were out to coffee, the thought of leaving with you crossed my mind again. It’s not healthy to think of you, especially you, this way. You are bad for me, and I can’t lie to myself about it anymore. I know I’ll see you again someday, maybe soon, maybe not for many years, but that’s not for us to decide. So, my darling, I ask you not come knocking on my door, I no longer want you.

[wearethechaotic]

potential break up song

im not scared of love baby i just wasn't built for it

[wearethechaotic]

holiest place ive been

What we had was holy reckoning, prophecy spilled from our lips and the word was us. My religion was you, and our bedroom was the only church i’d ever stepped foot in. When beings like us come together what else can we be but God? What can we be other than prophets screaming our scripture at the top of our lungs? I ask you when this ends, as I don’t deal in if’s, don’t forget that here, in this room, we brought heaven to earth and kept it there for as long as our fingers could desperately cling to one another, and I swear I heard you proclaim testaments in your sleep.When our bodies are scorched from being too close for too long and our two reborn souls must split, I pray to all the holiness we created that you know I won’t ever believe in any other God again.

_Marlow

[wearethechaotic]

creator

I used to think you placed each star in the sky, that you formed the hills and mountains with your own hands, i thought you pulled darkness from the universe and created the depths of every ocean, that you carefully put together every creature piece by piece, pain staking hour after pain staking hour. Your eyes showed me universes i longed to exist in. Your words plucked up the broken pieces of my heart and put them back in order. When i asked you what you saw in me, you smiled, but didn't answer. When i said that i loved you more, you smiled but didn't answer.

[wearethechaotic]

when you grip my hips i feel like heaven comes down to meet me

the way you pull me into you, we are two glaciers colliding

we are crashing together and becoming less ourselves

if giving my myself up to oblivion is what it takes to have you in my arms a little longer

then this is my goodbye

_marlow

[wearethechaotic]

going crazy

im not who i thought i was

at least i know im not who you think i am

_marlow

[wearethechaotic]

call me a rebound, i know what i was to you.

_marlow