webbedphantom - Tumblr blog

[webbedphantom]

So, I ended up being too tired to do much of anything before the movie.

On the plus side, seeing Spidey 2 in theaters again was not only incredible, but apparently they're giving away free posters to everyone who shows up.

So... I know what I'm doing every week for the next two months

[webbedphantom]

So, I know I said I'd be a bit more active today, and I'm still going to try to be, but... I just remembered I made plans to go see Spider-Man 2 in theaters with a few friends.

Because if you didn't know, to celebrate the anniversary of Paramount, they're re-releasing every Spider-Man movie in theaters, one every week, and I'm going to try to see as many of them as I can

So yeah, still gonna try to reply to some things and get some asks sent out for Makoto's birthday, but I do have a movie to watch at some point

[webbedphantom]

Well... I did two of 'em at least.

Gonna get to the others tomorrow, and maybe do something with Sovereign, since I'm pretty tired, but I do still want to do something for it.

I'm gonna try to be somewhat active today, send in some birthday asks for all the Makoto's, and maybe make some posts on my own Makoto.

Really just depends on how muse I can gather up before work, and how much my pets wanna be a pain-

[webbedphantom]

I'm gonna try to be somewhat active today, send in some birthday asks for all the Makoto's, and maybe make some posts on my own Makoto.

Really just depends on how muse I can gather up before work, and how much my pets wanna be a pain-

[webbedphantom]

Amogus Strudel

[webbedphantom]

So this is kinda random but... Apparently the servers for LittleBigPlanet have been shut down, meaning that you can't access the user created levels anymore-

Now, the servers that host those levels are still up, so nothing has technically been lost, but... Man, this hurts.

I've had games I love get shut down before. Marvel Heroes, City of Heroes, Spider-Man Unlimited, Sonic Runners, Dragalia Lost, but this one gets to me like nothing else.

I grew up playing those games, I spent countless hours messing around in the numerous levels that people made, costume tutorials, recreations of other games, full on original games, short and sweet levels based off my favorite characters and franchises. It got the gears in my brain turning, thinking about all the things I could make someday.

Granted, I never actually ended up making anything on there. All my ideas were way too ambitious, and thanks to my ADHD that I didn't know I had, I could never sit down long enough to get anything done.

But that creative spark stuck with me. Those games are likely the reason I got interested in game design, and possibly the reason I got into making costumes, as I spent just as much time mashing pieces and stickers together to create new outfits of characters i liked.

It just... sucks that that's all gone now. That all the levels that I played, that people have been making since 2008, are unable to ever be played again.

Yeah, they still exist for however long those servers stay up, but unless someone backs up those levels and dumps them online, or patches in a new way for us to play them, or another LittleBigPlanet game comes out with all those levels uploaded to its servers, all of which are probably never going to happen, they're just... gone.

And a piece of my childhood is gone with it.

[webbedphantom]

It took a lot to scare him. He'd been fighting monsters and supervillains for over a year now, going up against things most would only see in their nightmares and barely batting an eye.

So the fact that she had been able to unnerve him so thoroughly by holding an axe and giggling was quite the accomplishment.

"I-it's alright. It's my fault for dropping in on you like that-"

Sometimes it was easy to forget that the things he considers normal were rather strange to those without his unique skills.

"T-though for the record, if you had taken a swing, I'd have dodged it. I'm... sadly used to things like that-"

He quickly dismissed his costume, causing it to disappear in a small burst of flames and reveal his usual attire, having felt a little awkward being dressed as he was.

"Annnyway, I was in neighborhood, so I thought I'd swing by to see if you needed any help in the garden."

In hindsight, he probably should've messaged ahead, but he was trying not to text and swing too much. He can't afford to replace his phone a third time-

" oh no , did i scare you ? i'm so sorry --- i normally like to chop firewood in my free time if i am not gardening. it makes for a wonderful leisure activity ! unfortunately i do have incredibly fast reflexes when people scare me. i would say you are very lucky ! " she giggles sweetly.

✿ open

[webbedphantom]

I HAVE MY DESK!!!

We hired movers and were able to get everything out of storage and into the house, meaning I can finally use my computer again!

... After we put it together, and get it all downstairs, but hey it's progress! A lot sooner than I'd expected too

[webbedphantom]

Random post but-

This remix has always screamed Akechi and Aaron teaming up in the Third Semester to me.

Like it's a Sonic song, which is Aaron's thing, but it's edgy-er than the original, which gives off the vibe of him working with someone he typically wouldn't, which immediately made me think of the detective prince.

It's kinda sad that it's like that, considering I headcanon that they were childhood friends, but I think Aaron would enjoy the team-up regardless. Just enjoying it while it lasts, trying to get Akechi to admit that he is too, and subtly nudging him towards being a better person.

[webbedphantom]

Y'know, sometimes I like to joke about characters who have the same VA being friends, but like-

Futaba and Peppermint from Hi-Fi Rush would get along so well, it's insane.

... Futaba and Black Cat (from Marvel's Spider-Man) probably not so much-

[webbedphantom]

Makoto gently knocks on Himiko's bedroom door before opening it slowly. She shuffles further into the room, noticing her youngest daughter sitting at her desk, and sets down a plate with a large slice of her favourite cake down.

"Happy Birthday, sweetie," She coos, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Your father and I got you that sewing machine you wanted, but it won't arrive for another week. I hope that's okay. To make up for it we'll take you out to your favourite restaurant tonight, okay?"

In as many ways as she was distinct from her parents, there were just as many similarities. One example was the amount of time she'd spend at her desk. Only instead of studying, reading, or tinkering with any number of devices, she was usually either sketching out a new design, or working to bring it to life.

It was calming to her, helped her think through her troubles when she didn't feel like going out. Which was a bit more frequent lately.

It took her a bit to process that her mother was in the room, so wrapped up in her clothing designs that it was only after the kiss to her head that she noticed she wasn't alone anymore.

“Wait really??” She quietly exclaimed, quickly rousing from her chair to give her mom a hug. “Yes! Yes! Yes!! Thank you!!”

She didn't really care that she had to wait, which was a bit different from how she'd have reacted a year ago, or heck, even a few months ago. Not to say she'd have been ungrateful, but back then, she was a bit more… entitled.

Now though, she was just happy to be getting it at all, and especially happy to get to spend some time with her parents.

Speaking of which, her dad was leaning in the doorway, watching the scene with a soft smile. He could see a bit of light had returned to his daughter’s eyes, a fact which only made his smile wider. He knew she still had a ways to go before she fully recovered from Shido's attack, they all did, but this was a good first step at least.

[webbedphantom]

"Aaron-kun, I want you to know something. If you ever need any help, please reach out to mean. I consider you a very good friend and I want to help you. Like you've helped me. So let me, okay?"

Her suggestion gave him pause, for a few reasons. For one, as often as he helped out others, especially his friends, it was rare for someone else to return the favor.

For another, well… he kinda figured the other Thieves were done with this life. They'd risked their lives for the past year, fighting with the inner demons of the world around them to make a difference. They'd been framed for murder, got wrapped up in a government conspiracy, and had come close to death more times than they could count. Sure, the Metaverse was still around, but they had done their part. So he'd just assumed they were just wanting to move on with their lives, even if he hadn't yet-

Needless to say, he was rather surprised by her offer. Course, he didn't know what kind of help she was referring to, be it general support, or if she was planning to take up her axe again if need be, but either way… it meant a lot to him that she'd even bring it up.

“Haru, I…”

He wasn't quite sure how to respond at first. He wasn't… great at asking for help from others, not wanting to burden them with his problems. But he also didn't want to turn her down, not after she'd gone out of her way to do this.

Still... this was a burden. And it needed to be treated like one.

“A-are you sure? You know you don't have to pay me back for helping you out, and the stuff I deal with-"

-was similar to what they went through in the Metaverse, yet the stakes felt so much higher than almost anything the cognitive world ever threw at them. Even the smaller scale threats tended to escalate, putting dozens of lives at risk, if not more. And that wasn't even the worst of it.

"I-I'm not saying you shouldn't, I just... I wanna make sure you know what you'd be getting into is all."

Even if she only meant to offer support, the weight on his shoulders was a heavy one, and definitely not something he would wish on anyone else.

[webbedphantom]

Update on this. Doc says it's just from lack of exercise, which I probably should've figured.

I've never been in great shape, but I used to go on regular walks and stuff, which I stopped doing last winter because I got... really really depressed. And now between work and the move, I kinda did too much too fast.

So I just gotta work on strengthening my legs, without overdoing it, so I don't have to worry about them giving out on me again.

So... small update. During the move, I pushed myself a bit too hard and really hurt my leg. I thought it was fine, but I went into work today and after an hour I could barely stand-

So I'm going to have to go to a doctor and get that checked out before I can go back in.

[webbedphantom]

So... small update. During the move, I pushed myself a bit too hard and really hurt my leg. I thought it was fine, but I went into work today and after an hour I could barely stand-

So I'm going to have to go to a doctor and get that checked out before I can go back in.

[webbedphantom]

So, this is going to seem a bit random, but like 10 years ago, I was doing let's plays under the name SpiderGoblin.

It was this stupid concept I had where I meshed together the TASM-1 suit with the Rami Green Goblin suit and made that like... my OC for some reason. I came up with a bunch of weird lore and stuff for him, which I never did anything with, as I kinda just used him as my Minecraft skin.

So, you might be wondering why I'm bringing all this up. It's simple-

Because it's becoming a real thing.

I haven't even been reading the current Spidey run, and Marvel Editorial still found a way to deal major emotional damage, because I am cringing so hard at this.

[webbedphantom]

"I am in the air."

"... Which is not news, because I am usually in the air."

... Does swinging count as being in the air-?

"I'm not going to argue semantics with you right now. Just let me have this-"

[webbedphantom]

... I think I'm depressed again-

And because of that, I kinda want to ramble/vent about things. But since I don't wanna be a nuisance, I'm gonna just leave it under here for anyone who wants to read it.

Maybe it's just because of how hectic things have been lately, and how I missed my therapy appointment this week, but I'm just... constantly tired, even now that I'm starting to feel better from whatever I had a few days ago. And today I've just had that constant feeling of just... not knowing what to do, so I don't do anything. And when I do find something to do, I lose interest moments later.

Like I've tried to write replies, but then I'll hit a snag, or be unsure which reply to write, or think it's pointless because if they reply back, I won't be able to keep it going because I can't trim things without my computer... which I can't set up because my desk is still in storage, with no way to get it here without a truck, and nothing I can use as a temporary desk in the meantime.

And this goes on and on with a bunch of stuff, games I want to play, stuff I borrowed from the library, there's always something that gets in the way that keeps me from really sitting down and enjoying myself.

I hate feeling like this, and I hate even more that I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it, because when I'm depressed, I isolate myself, which makes it harder to reach out because I don't want to bother anyone. And I sure as hell can't go to any of my "family" about it, as lately I've been feeling like the term has no meaning, as most of mine just use that shared blood as an excuse to get things from you.

Which is kinda why I'm even making this. I don't typically do this, I don't like putting my personal problems out in public like this. But I don't really know how else to deal with these feelings, because I really don't wanna bother anyone, even though I know all of the people I'd usually tell this stuff to would be okay with it.

I'm not really sure what to do... My next therapy appointment is on Wednesday, but I go back to work on Tuesday, which kinda makes me anxious, especially since the person who hired me got transferred, so I have no idea what to expect anymore.

And on top of that, I just don't know what to do with myself in the meantime. I don't really have the energy to use any of my normal coping skills, and the few that I do haven't been working, so I'm just... lost.

Best I can think to do is reach out to my case manager and see if he can help me work through this, but... I'm not particularly hopeful about that. Still, it's all I got, and I did need to meet with him anyway, so I just gotta hope things work out.

I'll get through this. I always do. Doesn't mean it'll be easy, but... life is never really easy, is it?