wecandoanythingyoudo-blog

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Rukhsana Parveen Haque, 47, Corporate Head, @rukhsanaparveenhaque In 1996 when I joined the Indian Air Force Administrative Branch as a Pilot Officer, I was sure this was a life long engagement. The newspaper Ad had said – ‘Short Service Commission (SSC) would be offered for 5 years after successfully completing the training. Post SSC an extension of 6 yrs or a Permanent Commission (PC) could be opted for’ just like the male officers. But soon I realized it wasn’t the same. Early in 2007, my release orders were issued stating I would retire on 21st Dec ‘07. Having spent my prime years serving in the Armed Forces, I did not want to leave this way. I had to fight it out and make peace with myself. I met Wing Commander Anupama Joshi-a fire brand Education Officer who had been fighting for PC within the IAF. We got our act together and knocked the doors of the Delhi High Court on 16th May ‘07. My writ petition read, "Squadron Leader Rukhsana Parveen Haque Vs The Union of India”. It was painful to see that because we were not against the UOI or the IAF, we were fighting against a biased policy. Even more hurtful was one of the many arguments in the court that stated, ‘Training period for women was shorter than men’s and hence can't be given PC’. So very untrue! We underwent the same training programs, sat in the same classroom, did every grueling task together, whether it was Small Arms Training, Jungle Route March at Field Craft Training Camp or PT/Parade. We were no less. The argument simply reeked of gender bias. Thankfully, the Judges examined the truth and passed a favourable interim order. Heartfelt gratitude to my better half who went to the National Archives Library to dig out that newspaper ad mentioning PC will be offered to women-Ground Evidence downstairs; Providence upstairs! The final judgement: PC was granted to us. I was given Joining Orders in July’10! Although, I did not join & continued with my corporate stint but I was immensely satisfied that we, the initial petitioners, had paved the way for other women to be treated at par with men. Always strive for Equality-That’s a fundamental right, isn’t it?

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Ruby Lawrence, 29, Customer Service Manager @rubymlawrence My husband had a gym injury last year and it was nothing we'd ever seen before. He had a pinch-nerve in his thigh and was in constant pain for two months. After seeing multiple doctors in Philadelphia and not finding any relief, I made the difficult decision to come back home (India). My husband was immobile at this point, so it was up to me to pack our entire lives in suitcases, give away whatever we couldn't bring with us, get rid of our car and our apartment and inform everyone we knew, that we were going home. I booked our flights to home before I did ANY of this and had five days to do everything on that list. Most people discouraged me from taking this step. They told my husband to "be patient, it would get better", "take this pill", "get this shot" or "use this ointment". They thought it was ridiculous that I was even considering going home, let alone actually planning it and they saw it as a huge failure. For some reason, living in America (or any other continent but Asia) is synonymous with being successful by most people. But that didn't matter to me. All I knew was, my partner was in pain despite taking multiple painkillers, and I had to find a way to somehow get him on the path to recovery. We came home on October 26th and three days later, on October 29th, I saw my husband walk, as well as sleep through the night for the first time in more than two months. That night, a sense of relief and accomplishment washed over me. Three things I learned through this horrific experience: • You are stronger than you know • It hurts when you can't do anything to ease the pain of a loved one • Sometimes in life you'll have to make decisions that may not make sense to any one else but you; TRUST THAT GUT!

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Alishaa Khurana, Business Marketer & Food Connoisseur @ali_khur_bhatt I was born into the armed forces; my father, a doctor in the airforce.. My parents were fantastic - they adored & pampered me and gave me wings to fly but it was a time when society defined a lot of things. Beauty meant slim and fair & career meant doctors, engineers or teachers. On one side, I had a constant pressure to follow my father's footsteps and my father was from the prestigious Maulana Azaad Medical College so the stakes were even higher. To be a doctor was an unsaid expectation that I accepted and tried my best to make it happen. But the constant failure made me rebellious, frustrated and aggressive. Food was my only solace – consuming unhealthy food at odd hours. I still regret choosing science over arts and not standing up for my choice of study-stream back then. But today, I thank myself that I didn't take it ahead otherwise I would have been a very bad doctor. Then there was this unrealistic expectation from my mom to look good. She is the prettiest lady I have ever seen, however I wasn't her. I was never fair or slim. I was wheatish, borderline fat, had braces & specs, never tall and no match to any of my pretty cousins. The disapproving looks from my mother would make me cringe. We made constant trips to the army canteen to buy fairness products. In my effort to lose weight, I suffered from Bulimia. By the time I reached college, I had tried every possible weight loss plan but failed. Fat & dejection were my constant companions. Life moved on to a much happy phase. Today when I look back and see all the goof-ups I did in my life, I pledge to never put my child go through this. Weight is still a challenge, however I have learnt to accept and love myself. An extra kg no longer stresses me as it is okay to not be perfect. A zit on my face doesn't make me rush to the salon and fairness creams no longer have their space on my dresser. My aim is to maintain a healthy mind & body. I refuse to be judged by conventional standards of beauty. Life is too beautiful to fret over superficial things. If you ask me, I would always pick cake over diet food.

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Sarina, 41, Author and Spice Mistress @sarina_kamini I value my physical freedom. I value my body. I value its expression. I live in a small town in a remote part of Australia. The environment is stunning, so different to my experience of Delhi and Bangalore. Paris. Barcelona. Edinburgh. Melbourne. Los Angeles. All those cities in which I’ve lived. Most days I take to the Margaret River, to my private spot in the forest, and start the day with a naked swim. If not the river, then a bikini-clad charge through the ocean, in the wild of winter or the heat of summer. The ocean makes me brave. In the river, I am born new. As a Hindu, rebirth is part of who I am. I have been an obedient daughter. An estranged daughter. A girlfriend. A lover. A wife. A mother. A friend. An annoyance. A confrontation. A writer. A source of laughter. A font of love. A shame. A revelation. I value every incarnation and am open about each. Openness and honesty have grown me into a woman of majesty and strength. No one lives a life free of trauma. Mine has been greater than some, and less than others. My book, Spirits In A Spice Jar, goes into the detail. Success for me has been rewriting my own storyline. Adversity, the fear I faced in releasing old traditions and birthing something new. Joy has come from constructing my own framework. One that allows me to live between India and Australia, between pain and joy, between heaven and hearth, family and selfhood. Spice has been integral to my reconfiguration. Spices are my magic and my majesty. My expression. My instruction. Being a Spice Mistress means hearing myself in their song and translating that voice into my pans. Spice has given me a way to articulate contradiction in a way that is beautiful. Turmeric is nothing without a little chini. Jeera needs the height of chilli to sing. Bitter and sweet. Earth and fire. We’re all of us, all of those things. Don’t you think? Strength and adversity. I want to taste it all. I’m hungry for the real. That’s what life is.

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Yashodhara Lal, 39, Marketeer, Author, Zumba trainer on weekends @yashodharalal I’m turning 39 today. And my view on life is that if you can pause every few years, look back and sigh ‘wow, what an idiot I was a few years ago’, you’re on the right path. That also means a few years from now, this viewpoint will look idiotic to me, but such is life. I’m an author, marketing professional, mom of three, fitness instructor … being a Type A personality, I’m restless and impatient and usually on the lookout for the next mountain to climb– but when you scale many mountains and are continually disappointed by the view, you realize the real battle lies within; in my case - the inability to slow down and relax, unwillingness to look within to stop painful negative self-talk on the theme of ‘you should do more’ and not being able to enjoy the moment. And moments strung together one after the other are what make up life. So, I’m in real danger of missing out. My young children are currently teaching me a thing or two, about how to just ‘chill, mom’, and how to actually do nothing. As I get older, I’m re-prioritising to focus on relationships that mean the most, learning how to say no to other things and deliberately not setting ambitious goals. I’m getting a lot of help – often we think we should just plough on and deal with things ourselves – but a supportive spouse, good coaching and counselling, a patient yoga-therapist and heaps and heaps of reading and self-reflection are helping me get things in perspective, even as I still resist the desire to ‘fix’ everything. In a past stint, I led gender diversity initiatives for a global organization, and it opened my eyes to how fabulous we are as women – and how much we pull ourselves down and beat ourselves up. If we can stop that, individually and collectively – well, I’ll see you on the other side of some mountain, where we will pause and have a steaming hot cup of tea together as we relax and do nothing except learn to appreciate the view

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Prakriti Nanda, 23, Singer-Songwriter, music educator and counseling psychologist @praktiii "Why don't you speak?" is the question I've been asked most frequently in my life. Social anxiety had always been a normal thing for me to feel ever since I was a child. I didn't know what it felt to not be anxious in social situations. I was terrified of speaking in general, let alone speaking into a microphone on a stage where everyone can hear every bit of what came out of my mouth. Another thing that has been as consistent in my life as social anxiety is ‘Music’. I absolutely love to sing and it was music lessons at school that helped me to discover this talent in me. I pushed myself to sing into the mic in front of a big audience. While the process in itself was terrifying, the appreciation I got after it, gave me strength to fight my fear of judgement. This pattern continued throughout my school life where I used my musical talent as a shield in my war against social/performance/general anxiety. In college I finally managed to get myself into therapy and with a wonderful therapist went through the most powerful experience of my life. Therapy helped me realize that I am a highly sensitive person (HSP). This pushed me to be more accepting and nurturing towards myself while feeling equally important as others. With this mindset I took up tasks that I didn't think I ever would - like becoming a teacher, performing original music and cracking bad jokes on the stage. I've taken the past year to start believing in my original music and working towards putting together my first EP that I'll be releasing later this year for people to listen, absorb and judge. It's titled "why don't you speak" and it's my top recommendation for anyone who has ever wondered the same.

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Saumya Saxena, 24, Content Writer & Stylist @saumyasaxena03 For an introvert since childhood, it can be quite a daunting task to hold a conversation or to even initiate one. I was the shy kid of the class, never part of the ‘popular’ crowd, unlike my extrovert best friends. I was often misjudged for being ‘arrogant’, the one who thought too highly of herself. They weren’t aware that it was my introversion that got the better of me most of my young life. At times, it often led to missed opportunities in school which later turned into regrets. It was in 11th grade that I decided to change. This is not how my life should turn out to be. If I had to make something out of it, I’d better work on myself. With hardly any help I began on a lone journey. I consciously started being more vocal and made meaningful connections and memories. I purposefully overcame my reservations and tried to indulge in fun things that people my age did so that I could grow up with no more regrets. It definitely did me good. What worked as a huge catalyst in my development was selection into the western music society of Kamala Nehru College, Delhi University. It immediately boosted my confidence to newer heights. The rush inside that came from performing in front of a big audience, the blinding lights, the pre performance anxiety, the excitement after it, the happiness of an applause and being awarded, were things I had never experienced before. I fell in love with being in centre of attraction. The way I spoke, cracked jokes or even dressed was a reflection of the confidence in me. I made some friends for life and unforgettable memories. I lived some experiences I would love to recreate. Now, I have a Master’s degree, a beautiful working environment and I am surrounded by a brilliant set of minds. Everyday I have something to look forward to. All this because one fine day I told myself- I didn’t want to be an introvert anymore, that I didn’t want to have regrets anymore. I believe one should loosen up, Indulge in cheap thrills and hardly care about what others have to say, because trust me, you don’t want to lie in bed one day and think, "I could have done that when I had the time"

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Renu Mehta, 33, HR Professional, @girlmonogramminglife Life throws tantrums at everyone. Mine was no different. I come from a small town like Rewari where even strangers are entitled to give you their unsolicited opinions & advice. You are made to experience guilt & shame just because you choose to take your own decisions. You are considered a black sheep in the community. That’s not all, as every decision you take also impacts your family, which is virtually impossible to ‘just ignore’. But I was not the one to give in to such these pressures. In my early twenties when I wanted to soar my own flight, I found myself in situations where I had to take a call between education or marriage. I chose education by stepping out of a marriage, barely a few days old. I was again made to decide between self respect or social norms and I choose self respect as standing on my own feet was far more important than economic security. Although I was standing up for my beliefs, at the same time I felt embarrassed at myself and sought acceptance from people, just initially. I was apologetic for being emotional and ashamed for everything that passed, broken from inside yet wore a smile due to the fear of being judged. Anger, fear, worry, sadness, frustration and confusion drove me to anxiety & depression. But let me tell you - ‘IT’S FINE’. It took me years to understand the true meaning of these words. I learnt that it is human to be emotional. It is less pressuring to embrace them, let them be. That is wiser than pretending to be perfect. My emotions are my paint: Red- Anger/embarrassment, Blue- Calmness/shyness, Yellow- happiness, Green- Friendly, Grey- depression/emptiness. I started healing and experienced positivity in my life once I embraced them. I normalised my glorious mess to myself. My emotions became the powerful catalyst to positive changes in my life.We have enough of ‘robots’, we need more ‘humans’ on Earth.

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Tulja Sharma, Singer-songwriter, casual artist & announcer at AIR. @tulja.sharma I was always inclined towards creativity even as a child. Be it dance, theatre, music, painting or poetry, I loved it all. Just that I wasn't sure how to build a career around it. So, I took the safe route by opting for English literature for further studies although I kept gravitating towards performing throughout my college life. I even ended up becoming the President of the Indian Music Society & won several competitions. I simultaneously educated myself in Hindustani Classical Vocals from Gandharva Mahavidyala. In the final semester of the college, all of my friends were applying for masters and I did the same but before joining it, I questioned myself "Is this something I really want to do or am I just succumbing to peer pressure?" I took a year's gap to figure this out & soon realised, my true calling was 'Music'. Now began a new struggle. The first battle was fought at my home. In a family were most members where in Govt. services, music wasn't seen as a real career option. I appeared for SSC exams to appease my parents but I wasn’t happy at all. So I summoned up my guts, confronted and subsequently convinced my parents to let me follow my passion. With their support, I completed my two bachelor equivalent diplomas in Hindustani Music. Now, I am pursuing Masters. Right now I work as a freelancer, a you-tuber, a part time vocalist and a trainer at Story Ghar and the vocalist for a Delhi based Indie pop-rock band, 'Pop Corn'. I aim to continue to continue learning music. Not having opted for a job with regular income, one has to be strong willed, positive, patient and hard working as one is accountable for their own failure and success. One has to be ready for ups and downs, rejections & failures, one has to make it work.

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Shuchi, 36, Author, @shuchikalra I carry many titles and many labels, but my most significant achievement by far is showing up. No matter what. I am 36, a mother, an author of 3 books and someone who is diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. For the uninitiated, BPD is a mental disorder characterised by unstable moods, behaviour and relationships. I struggle with explosive anger, intense mood swings, suicidal depression, a perpetual feeling of emptiness and a grave propensity for impulsive, self-destructive behaviours. I dread being alone, and yet I cannot handle intimacy. I have a close-to-ideal life, and yet nothing fills up the gaping void within. I have people who love and care for me, and yet I feel alone and abandoned. Trusting does not come easy, and I don't feel safe even with people I am close to. It's therefore not surprising that most of my relationships are unstable, tumultuous and sometimes even abusive. I came face-to-face with depression for the first time when I was 15, and since then, the demons in my head have only grown in scope and magnitude. My lack of emotional control caused irreparable damage to my relationships, leading people to walk away from me. This exacerbated my abandonment issues and pushed me further into isolation. And so continued the cycle of negativity. Medication and therapy did help, but only to an extent. Right now, there are good days and there are bad days, and then there are terrible days. It's hard for most people to believe that I have a problem because I look perfectly fine on the outside, and go about my business with enviable efficiency. But only I know the constant battle I am fighting within myself. Maybe it's just my stubbornness that keeps me going on tough days, or maybe it's the sheer force of will. Get out of bed. Shower. Get dressed. Put on my favorite lipstick. Attach psychological armour. AND SHOW UP. Yes, that's what I strive to achieve every day. Just show up. Because right now, that's the best I can do for myself.

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Tanya Seth, 30, Digital Marketer & Music Enthusiast @DayaDarwazaTodo Sometimes the only way to rise up is to first reach your rock bottom. Last year was one of my toughest ever. Losing my grandmother and failing at a relationship that meant the world to me, within a span of a week, took its toll mentally, physically and emotionally. Living as a queer woman in India isn’t easy. I first realized I liked women was about 10 years ago and all I felt was confusion, dread and shame. Why was this happening? What did it mean? Why does this feel so right when everyone around me thinks otherwise? All I wanted was to not have my family suffer from societal prejudices because of me. I forced myself and prayed for 5 years – to feel for a man, to fall in love with one. And all it did was suffocate me. That’s when it dawned on me – I was chosen to be this way and even I couldn’t change it. 3 years ago I decided to get my hair cut short and while I love being a woman, and I am completely comfortable in my body, I didn’t realize that people will start mistaking me for a man because I now have short hair. This followed a year-long identity crisis, something I’d never felt before. I had male security guards frisking me at malls and airports. I would be anxious every time I had to visit a public washroom. Once I was forced to use the men’s loo at a client office because the guard just wouldn’t believe that I’m a woman. (I could write a book on all these bizarre experiences) But through all these years, and all these ups and downs, now, I know who my people are – my family and friends who love and support me unconditionally. It sure has been one hell of a ride and it’s nowhere near its end. I realize that I may never have a ‘happily ever after’ or find someone to grow old with, but I’m free, and that’s all that matters. 

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Shubhra Brakh, 37, Consultant - Consumer Insights, @shubhrabrakh Life is meant to be enjoyed and celebrated, not cribbed over losses. At a very young age, I almost lost my dad to an accident. He survived with a temporary memory loss. It was a difficult time for us siblings as he didn’t recognize us at all for almost 5 months. While this incident taught me about the uncertainty of life, it also made me emotionally stronger and I started valuing relationships and savoring each moment spent with family and friends, more than ever before. My work life wasn’t easy either. In the early years, I didn’t get my fair share of recognition as I wasn’t the one who blew their own trumpet. To top it, I was a non-confrontational ‘good girl’ who could be loaded with work and won’t even complain. I learnt my lesson yet I suffered later for voicing my concerns. Eventually, I learnt to not bother as much, focus on my strengths and always have a back up plan. Thankfully, I have had no dearth of work. The lowest moment in my life came when I had a miscarriage in 2nd trimester. 4 months later, I lost my husband. Suddenly life lost all its meaning. Having woven my entire world around him, losing him was like falling into an abyss. But I pulled myself together and decided to rebuild my life. I uprooted myself and moved to a distant city to avoid emotional dependence on others. I decided to try things that made me happy. That’s how I became passionate about photography & travel. It was literally like rediscovering myself. This journey was not easy but it gave me strength to follow my heart. So, when the time came to make a choice between a handsome job or prioritising my health by moving back without a job, I didn’t hesitate to choose the latter. Today, I am working as a consultant balancing life - health, work and travel. When I look at my life I feel blessed to be loved, appreciated and respected for who I am. Learn to draw strength and courage from the gravest adversities. Stay grounded during the highs and don’t let the lows push you into darkness. Being happy and content is an intrinsic trait. You have to create it for yourself.

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Gayathri Sitaraman, @liftlikegaya3 I started gaining weight when I was 7 years old. Food became my best friend, because it never said anything hurtful to me. Parents, relatives, random aunties and uncles, friends, teachers - everyone had the right to comment on my weight! Every time I felt bad about myself, I would eat my feelings and feel better. It was the cheapest form of therapy for me and it lasted 20 years! By the time I was 27, I was a whopping 106 kilos. Even though I was in the prime of my life, I looked, and felt, like I was in my 50s. I was sick all the time - allergies, indigestion, breathlessness plagued me constantly. I happened to visit a doctor who told me in a very matter of fact way, that I was going to die soon. Imagine hearing that at 27. . My parents pushed me to go to the gym and I finally managed to learn that losing weight was not a quick time fix, it was a lifestyle change. Once I realized that, there was no turning back. With the help of a personal trainer, I lost over 35 kilos in a year and a half! While my health, my outward appearance and my relationship with food improved immensely, I was still struggling with other things. Like the realization that the world can be a little shallow sometimes, which was also a reflection of where my mind was, because I'd started to give a little more importance to my looks. I often thought losing weight would solve all my problems. But that's not true either - doesn't matter if you're fat, thin, rich, poor, tall, short - everyone has their own battles to fight. I lost a lot of weight, but I gained tons of perspective. My biggest lesson? We are all a work in progress, in one way or the other.

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Urvashi Sarup, Chartered Accountant, @urvashisarup As a teenager and young adult, my education was my top priority. Growing up in a house with independent and strong women, I was determined to never be financially dependent on anyone. I topped in my CA exams amongst a class of mostly men and moved on to join one of the top companies in my field. But as a woman and a mother, I had other responsibilities that I was equally determined to pursue. I was raised to believe that “sacrificing” my job was a sign of weakness. So many women juggle a career and kids, why shouldn’t I? After months of questioning my true feelings, I realized that there is nothing weak about choosing to stay home. I chose to step away from my illustrious corporate life and be self-employed, not as a sacrifice, but as a favor to myself and my kids. I wanted to build a lasting friendship with them and I felt that time was the best gift to give to them and to myself. There is alot of pressure on mothers today - there are expectations that we ought to be there, a 100 percent, for our kids as well as advance in our careers. But societal expectations never dictated the way I lived my life. My learning is - do what makes you happy, whatever that may mean for you, your career, and your family. It is not selfish to put yourself first, even as a mother. The choice I made was my own. Choosing to slow down in my career didn’t take away any of my personal or professional achievements. I am still an independent woman who is comfortable with all the choices i made and continue to make.

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Faizi Khan, Writer, Runner, Story-teller @crazy.faizi @khayaalonkiudaan One whole month of dengue in 2017 turned out to be a time for reflection of myself and my environment. I realised that our society conditions us to make compromises. Nobody tells you how soul crushing those compromises are. They say one must have a settled life, a secure job, a life partner, a home etc. even if these ‘must haves’ do not tally up with your own dreams. And when you do not abide by these parameters, you are singled out as an outlier. What if one wants to ditch these ‘must haves’, have an unconventional job, shape a new idea, be an explorer, not a settler; what if one doesn’t have space for a life partner? But, one hardly gets any guidance to be true to yourself and not conform to conventions of the society or family. I felt I could not be a conformist. My contribution in this direction is “Khayaalon Ki Udaan”, a platform that I founded where I write stories based on real people’s lived experiences of such compromises. 3 years of corporate work life was a suffocating experience. So, I moved to a relatively offbeat role - an event manager for a celebrity life coach for another 3 years. That is where I learnt lessons in self-reflection & how it is such an important tool for decision making. This led to “Khayaalon Ki Udaan”. Although my father wanted to be a writer himself, he was not convinced with my decision to quit a good job for writing. I was perceived as the ‘science’ student, not the quite ‘‘literary’ one. Like any concerned parent, he was worried of my choices that led me away from the ‘safely settled’ stereotype. However, 7 months into writing, something changed. He saw me work hard and came to appreciate my writing to the extent that he saw himself in me, his dream in mine. One of the best memories of my life has been when he came to drop me at the railway station and blessed, “Allah kare zore-qalam aur zyada” (May God give more power to your pen) This meant the world to me. I am often asked, “How come you remain so happy all the time? What’s the secret?” And I say “I am creating a world for myself, and trust me I am working day and night at it.”

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Janvi Anand, 25, Singer-Songwriter @janvianand During my school days, upto class 10, I did not have mentors who were formally trained vocalist or instrumentalist. Our school barely encouraged us to take part in competitions. To satiate this need of mine, I changed schools in class 11 to have access to such mentors. However in my new school, I realised how little I know about music or my instrument. My technique was wrong, I had no theoretical knowledge, nor I was a prodigy who could pick up the instrument and start shredding. I tried to audition for the school band and choir, but for obvious reasons I wasn’t selected. Everything in that moment seemed to fall apart. I had changed schools, increased my travel time to 90 mins one way everyday, yet I wasn’t seem to be getting where I thought I would be. For quite sometime I thought of myself as a failure, and thought about completely quitting music. I never thought, I would come at par with the quality of musicians in this new school. For a few months straight, I didn’t play my instrument, and thought of getting back to sports or something else so that I have at least other options open for me. But my friends and parents pushed me to not give up. They encouraged me to start practicing and learning from better instructors (than the ones I learnt in the past) outside school and audition again the following year. And so I did. I changed instruments temporarily though. I still needed time to adjust to this sudden change. I auditioned the following academic year and I was selected. Since then I have always known, hard work pays of. So all I had to do was practice and set my mind to it.

[wecandoanythingyoudo-blog]

Kavita Mathur, 52, Human Resources Professional It is that constant feeling of suppression and pain that becomes the trigger to take action, because you know, suffering is not for you. Growing up life was fun & carefree. Born into an army family with a lot of privileges. My cheery, fun-chasing childhood was mostly spent outdoors. Memory of adopting a street dog, pampering it, then witnessing the change in its gait & the strength from all the love & care. Every-time we came home, the wagging of his tail told us that it was equally eager to greet us. I went to four different schools before stepping into the world beyond the cantonment. In college, I formed college’s first students’ union & became college president. I started a college magazine, “Reflections” – a chance for each student to express herself. It got an overwhelming response. Post finishing Masters (best student with scholarship), upon my parent’s insistence, I got married. I was thrown into a phase I wasn’t ready for. Every day, I felt that I was losing myself. I was being made to look & behave like someone I wasn’t. The old Army etiquettes seemed to so alien to my new family. The meaning of freedom was going through so many adjustments in my mind every day. My realizations were leading to so many unanswered questions in my head. Why the dog in this house was crying & tied to a metal chain while my dog in cantonment, wagged his tail in joy upon seeing us? When I had my two girls, why were they compared with their cousins despite having different parents? Were societal norms negotiable for the privileged? Were these mind wrenching experiences going to become my new normal? Clearly, that was not going to be. My decision to move out of the marriage & return to my parents, with my two daughters, was to seek answers to these questions. The next phase of life wasn’t going to be easy. But working towards my goals, I realized, how those questions kept getting answered not by someone, but by every passing experience. Where I stand today, is my reality which is far distanced from what it was 2 decades ago. Every human mind has the ability to think & dream and that freedom remains with the individual