weeklyinstall

[weeklyinstall]

Human (iOS)

Sticking with the fitness theme, I've been testing Human, a simple and beautiful iOS app designed to ensure that you are active for at least 30 minutes per day.

Now, I like the idea of an app that works in the background and just tells you how awesome you are at the end of the day, but the premise here is flawed. 30 minutes is a ridiculously low bar, and you can't adjust the settings to shoot for something higher. I'm pretty sure there's an obese 25 year-old somewhere sucking down Chicken Kickers and playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1 for Dreamcast that accidentally moved around for 30 minutes and got a sweet Congratulatory message from the app. Moving around for 30 minutes is essentially just an indicator that you're not asleep.

Getting past that first shortcoming, Human has a few technical issues to work out. My results from yesterday showed that I walked, ran, and biked - when in reality I only walked. I assume the app tries to predict your method of transit based on your speed... and it should stop doing that. I consider myself a fast walker - I've been shattering Google Maps estimates for years - but bikes are freakin' bikes. I am not a bike.

[weeklyinstall]

Pump Up (iOS)

You know when you watch a movie (usually an action-packed sequel) that stars Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and you think “I could get shredded like that”? Well, that’s not particularly likely…sorry to be the one to tell you that.

That having been said, if you want to lose a couple of those late night Taco Bell Chalupa lbs or you want to sculpt out those triceps for the Indian Summer, Pump Up can help you out. You plug in your size, your preferred results, and the equipment you have access to, and Pump Up spits out a sweet workout regimen, complete with animated instructions and the pride of a job well done.

[weeklyinstall]

Radar (iOS)

Full disclosure: I'm a sucker for reds and clean UI - my judgement is severely compromised but you'll listen up anyways.

I've fuxed with many a 'to-do' app. I've tinkered with AnyDo, I've haberdashed with Wunderlist, I've mingled with Everest and I've fraternized with Clear. There are millions of these 'life efficiency' apps - if I had a nickel for every 'life efficiency' app, I'd have millions of nickels.

Radar doesn't pretend to 'maximize your efficiency' or 'gamify your goals' or 'kill procrastination forever' like these other ketchup popsicle salesmen. It's just a really clean and simple list app that will remind you of things worth being reminded of.

And before you complain about dropping $1.99 on an iOS app, let me remind you about that (insert ridiculous and offensive impulse purchase) that you spent (insert price) on just to (insert reasoning behind buying the item). That's what I thought.

Download it here.

[weeklyinstall]

Dunk Dreams (iOS)

This game is just straight dripping with swagger. There is a famous Fort Minor quote that goes like this:

"This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name."

Now, I'm willing to look past the fact that those numbers add up to 200% because the message is strong. This game is like the iOS version of that quote, mixed with the 1994 Sega Genesis smash hit 'Charles Barkley: Shut Up and Jam!'

Think you've got the Juice? Download it here. (you'll understand the juice reference once you play)

[weeklyinstall]

Studio Design (iOS)

I've been picking winners since Bimbo Coles was averaging 8 and 6 for Golden State. OK, now that I've made an obscure reference only 4% of you will understand, I can introduce the first new app worthy of the In-Stall: Studio Design for iOS.

You know your super artsy friend Kyle who somehow goes rogue and doesn't adhere to the restrictions of Instagram? Maybe he adds some subtle texture to the Valencia filter to give it a little retro pop, or maybe he throws some inspiring text onto a picture of a sweet gazebo -  whatever he's doing, he's making the rest of us look like a bunch of assholes. 

With the new Studio Design app, you can keep up with your super artsy friend Kyle.

Download it here

[weeklyinstall]

The Welcome Address

We're not in Kansas anymore, motherfuckers. The Weekly In-Stall has officially hit the Tumblrsphere, and the game is forever changed. What began as a humble office restroom newsletter has taken to the interwebs with the velocity and finesse of a Rowengartner fastball. Remember your old 'techie' buddy Shinsky who used to face Four Lokos at 4am and tell you about new apps? He no longer serves any purpose. Sorry.