weirdbellything

[weirdbellything]

I don't really talk about being chronically ill since it's not always a full disability kind of problem and waxes and wanes with triggers and stress, but I am and currently undiagnosed and therefore untreated for it, so I have to be careful about a lot of things.

some days I'm perfectly fine. other days I'm afraid I'm going to break my neck in the shower because I can't stay steady upright. other days i can't handle any sort of light from a migraine and just have to sleep in a dark room all day. and that's not really talking about the pain, that's just the "times I can't do things because of the problems".

my current suspicion is that it is autoimmune, but it became a serious problem after my second covid infection in late 2022, and I don't want to get covid again if I can help it. it's a real downer in general, but adds to the context of anything I say or do here

[weirdbellything]

this is a really cute answer.

howeverr if I am being honest. I appreciate the thought, but unfortunately, the risk of getting COVID is too high for me to feel comfortable doing so. sometimes I can be convinced to eat out with a small group of friends/family, but I consider that risky as well if it's busy- having everyone up and milling about as in a buffet makes it worse. I am genuinely a party pooper and often regarded as a hypochondriac (but it's also like I have chronic health issues I'm pretty sure developed as a result of a COVID infection, so my caution is warranted). I don't go to places like conventions anymore, and I've never gone to concerts.

since no one masks in my area and it's not required anywhere but some parts of hospitals, it is extremely isolating. it is part of why I am a homebody (I do not have a drivers license yet, either, which is partially related to mental health and said physical health issues, and public transportation does not reach my neighborhood). these things would not be as major a problem if the US had taken covid precautions more seriously, but they didn't, and we're here now.

too much of a perverted freak for the nerds and too much of a pedantic nerd for the perverts. is there such a place in this world for me ......

[weirdbellything]

too much of a perverted freak for the nerds and too much of a pedantic nerd for the perverts. is there such a place in this world for me ......

[weirdbellything]

like i don't really think the cishet white guy old enough to be my dad cares about that tbh hes just here to jack off. but iwant to jack off AND have a discussion about the politics of fatness . this is why tumblr is still my go to nobody else is ready for that

Sorry i explained the history of fatphobia and bmi in your fetish forum. do you still think im cool and hot did you like my essay <me on nontumblr feedism spaces because theres something wrong with me

[weirdbellything]

Sorry i explained the history of fatphobia and bmi in your fetish forum. do you still think im cool and hot did you like my essay <me on nontumblr feedism spaces because theres something wrong with me

[weirdbellything]

Happy Pride 2025!

been awhile since I posted any art here, but I wanted to share this one for pride month!!

you can see all of my recent work over on bluesky, but maybe I'll start slowly posting my backlog here again...

[weirdbellything]

for reference most of my personal writing comes in at 2k or less. I just rarely have anything more to say, especially with a set start and end point. I don't know if I'm a "good" writer but that's why I'm supplementing with images and a teeny tiny bit of interactivity, as well as the focus on kink probably means you'll find something you like if you like this blog

[weirdbellything]

it will probably also come in at about.....10 or so illustrations? for one route, not counting the title or unused drawings or the other route (which already has at least two. I'm thinking there will be a bit less just for story reasons, the entire route may be shorter, but I'm not sure that will make it worse, it's just a different story idk)

I've finished one route (of two) for my project and it's come in at about 6k words and 57 passages/pages. dear Lord.

[weirdbellything]

I've finished one route (of two) for my project and it's come in at about 6k words and 57 passages/pages. dear Lord.

[weirdbellything]

fat fetish is dumb as hell like yup! lunch just gave me a boner

[weirdbellything]

Jammy didn't realize human food got way more mass than on her planet...

[weirdbellything]

Can I see uh uh. uhhhh. Glutted out button pop. With Bonnie maybe. Please and thank you with a cherry on top

Asked so nicely I had to

[weirdbellything]

Bonnie sketch sequence commission <33 ft the baker being a cutie

[weirdbellything]

Come on Bonnie let's go party

[weirdbellything]

Happy Pride Month!

Wanted to do a little something fun and wholesome for pride month this year!

[weirdbellything]

like truthfully some of it is like purely kink or even in fetish territory for me.

but no amount of hand wringing or guilt has changed that, and I've always deeply cared about the way fatphobia shapes society (it kills people). but what exactly is the reason you can't be invested in both of these things?

and I also think liking fat people, for most people, should be normal. it should be as innocuous as liking anything else about someone's body (or maybe because you like someone, you like the body they live in. sometimes it's circular).

but for me I know it's not. sorry. I am a weird pervert. I still care about fat liberation anyway. shrug. life's weird

[weirdbellything]

I really genuinely do not get some people who do believe in fatphobia or have personally experienced it but also believe feedism is inherently dangerous and dehumanizing any more than kink/fetish as concepts.

like.....they're coming from the same well of thought. the problems with feedism are exacerbated by fatphobia, not the other way around- fat people are systemically dehumanized, therefore often dehumanized in sexual and romantic relationships across the board. feedism is a scapegoat, a particularly easy one because feedists are a group of people who are loud about liking fatness (therefore, the most likely place to find fatphobic toxic relationships- because you don't see so many normie couples happy to talk about how much they love being fat or their fat partner).

there are bad actors and bad relationships in every group you can possibly imagine. this does not mean every person who is turned on by fatness doesn't view fat people as real people deserving of respect and boundaries. if you follow this logic, there is no ethical way to be attracted to anyone for any reason, there are no ethical kinks to have at all based on bodily attributes. like boobs or butts? you're automatically dehumanizing the subject of your desire by experiencing it at all.

this also ignores the idea that many feedists are indeed fat people themselves and are the subject of fatphobia firsthand, always, constantly. are we worth discarding because we are turned on by it? are we (unwitting, naive) victims of our own desire?

I don't buy it. It sounds too similar to all the reasons fat people are told to hate themselves anyway. It sounds an awful lot like "you don't get to enjoy your own body in the ways you please as a knowledgeable adult". fatness is something you have to ignore in sexuality, something you have to look past, avoid- you have to desire in spite of fatness, never because of it.

disclaimer: I am NOT saying that no one has ever been abusive in the name of feedism/fat kinks, this does happen. I just believe this happens due to other factors (such as society encouraging dehumanization of fat people & discouraging fat people themselves from talking about any sexual harassment or abuse they've experienced regardless of context, some people lacking understanding of or care for consent and boundaries, some people who simply enjoy hurting others whenever they can in a non-kinky way). It is not due to the concepts themselves. I also believe that it is perfectly fine for a fat person to not like any of this and not want to be involved (and as such, if they are, that is often sexual harassment, disrespecting and ignoring boundaries set).

I just think blaming feedism itself for all of these things happening at all is mistaken, especially if you can understand the same about other kinks. shaming people for being attracted in the "wrong way" hardly ever makes those feelings go away, it just makes them ashamed & isolated. shame behaviors (like lack of consent, ignoring boundaries, harassment), not sexual desire itself.