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some of you guys are freaks :/ *reblogs*

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I want the entire Justice League to just be so fucking scared of Dick!Robin. He’s like 8-10 when they first meet him, but he’s somehow more horrifying than Batman. He’s teeny tiny and a cross between a fluttery little sprite and a shadowy demon. They’re still not sure if Batman is human or not, but they’re all convinced that Robin is some sort of entity. He’s a ghoul, a spirit, an eldritch horror that must haunt Gotham for some Godforsaken reason. And he either picked Batman to latch onto, or Batman saw him and plucked him up and thought he’d make a good companion.

One day, he gets so mad at Green Lantern for poking fun at Batman that he bites him so hard, Hal’s arm bleeds. Batman had grabbed him by his cape and dangled him in the air, telling him to apologize, but Robin just hung there with his arms crossed and a pout on his face. He did eventually say sorry. They all knew he didn’t mean it. He had blood drying on his lips. He didn’t wipe it away. It wasn’t until Batman put him down that the bat even noticed, then used his cape to clean him up.

The next time they saw him, he was giggling and asking Hal if yellow is his greatest weakness, and if his own yellow cape causes Hal pain. Then he leaned forward and whispered, “I hope it does” before giggling again and skipping away to ask Superman something.

Hal didn’t come to the Watchtower for two months after that.

Dick is enamored by Superman. He loves him. Follows after him all the time, is always asking Superman to take him flying. Clark takes him every so often, but cackling laugh Robin lets out while they’re in the air sends a chill down his spine.

Martian Manhunter admits that he once accidentally brushed against Robin’s mind, but all he picked up was distorted circus music.

That freaks everyone out, and now they hear it in their own heads whenever they catch a glimpse of Robin.

When he starts growing like a real boy? Horrible. Creepy. They don’t like it one bit. He’s acting too human, he’s making them think he’s real.

When he starts hanging out with their sidekicks? Nope. They all try to put a stop to it. The sidekicks all disobey them with a roll of their eyes. Then he becomes the leader of their little group, calling themselves the Titans? Oh God, he must be starting some sort of army.

Then a new Robin appears, and they all meet Nightwing, but they have no idea Nightwing used to be Robin. So when Nightwing becomes a member of the JL, they don’t think twice about him. They think Nightwing is a great guy. Very open. Very friendly. They all consider him a good friend.

Then it comes out after a few months that he used to be Robin, and all the original JL members practically squeak and distance themselves from him immediately. They’re terrified of him.

“You’re the little demon that bit me?” Hal shrieks.

Nightwing laughs, but he’s shrugging and looking so sheepish, so embarrassed.

“You were being mean to my dad!”

And the fact that Batman is Nightwing’s dad just makes them all freeze. Because they never actually considered that an option.

They’re still convinced he’s not entirely human, though. It would explain how he’s so flippy and bendy.

Dick has way too much fun when he realizes they actually think he’s not a human. He torments them just a little bit, in retaliation. Bruce watches from afar, both annoyed with his coworkers and amused by his son’s antics.

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dick, jason, and tim absolutely read superbat fics together thinking it's hilarious. tim accidentally stumbles across one of jason's secret fics, not knowing he wrote it, and decides they're reading it next. jason is mortified and decides not to reveal it's his fic. they find out from the author's notes though.

a/n: sorry about the late update guys, i got stabbed and had a collapsed lung :/ hopefully the next part will be up tomorrow

a/n: i know it's been forever since i updated, i got murdered, but i'm back now!

a/n: sorry guys my apartment got exploded by the joker but here's part four!! enjoy!

tim and dick: jason?!?!?

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immortality as theft (you have to steal life from something else) immortality as parasitism (there is something else inside You that is keeping you alive and you become less of yourself more and more the longer it stays in you) immortality as violence (everything is trying to kill you because everything is supposed to die and the universe will always try to find a way to right the wrong that is You) you understand

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This idea just popped in my head so not super elaborate. But let’s have the Batfam out apprehending a rogue magic user when Nightwing gets de-aged to when he was in his first few months as Robin. And they’re all expecting a sweet little sunshine kid, a smaller version of how their brother currently acts.

Instead, they see the itsy bitsiest little kid imaginable in the original Robin uniform, and they’re all instantly so mad at Bruce for ever letting Dick go out and fight when he was literally a tiny little child. He looks like a strong wind will blow him over.

But then they see him in action and they realize oh no, their brother was actually a little monster. He actually growls at them at one point. They get back to the batcave and they see him just become an animal. He bites Damian’s arm so hard when he hears someone call Damian Robin, then screams and yells about how he’s the only Robin.

Then he tells off Bruce with the intensity of a pissed off teenager, except he’s not even four feet tall and he’s standing on a table so he can shout in Batman’s face. And Bruce just looks so exhausted.

“I’m in charge here,” Bruce starts to tell him, but Dick just puts his hands on his hips and huffs.

“It’s cute you think so,” he says in a snotty voice.

“Alright, time for bed,” Bruce says quickly, because he remembers very well how things worked back when Dick really was eight and a snot nosed little menace. And he knows all of Dick’s tells, and he can see that he’s getting overwhelmed and upset and it’s going to soon turn into a total meltdown.

“No!” Dick argues, but Bruce has already picked him up, and he’s flailing and biting Bruce’s arm. “Pumme down! You’re not my dad, put me down, you’re not my daddy!”

He’s screaming and sobbing before they’re even halfway up the stairs. It’s the tantrum of the century, and it’s making Jason’s ears ring.

“What the fuck,” Jason gasps once the door leading upstairs closes, “was that?”

“Was Dick possessed or something?” Stephanie asks, rubbing at her ears.

“I can’t believe he bit me,” Damian mumbles, watching as Alfred cleans the very detailed bite mark on his arm. Tim snorts from where he’s watching.

“I think you’re all forgetting a very crucial detail,” Alfred tells them all, his voice very patient but strained, “that Master Richard came into Master Bruce’s care during a very traumatic period in his life. While his behavior might shock you, I assure you this was all quite normal compared to when he was actually eight years old.”

And it’s true. Because they do all often forget that the only reason Dick came to live with Bruce was because he’d just watched his parents get murdered and fall to their deaths in front of him. Most of them don’t even know about the couple months he spent in juvie while Bruce fought to get custody of him.

So when they go upstairs and hear Dick still screaming at Bruce, they try to have a little more empathy. Especially when they hear him start sobbing I want my mommy over and over again, and they have to listen as Bruce whispers I know, I’m sorry, I’m here to try and soothe him.

They try to be patient when he gets so angry the next day that he screams and flings Zitka across the room to hit one of them in the head, only to start sobbing when he realizes a couple stitches popped on the leg he held to throw her and now the stuffing is coming out, and they try to calm him down while looking for Alfred to help stitch her back together.

They try not to get frustrated when he’s yelling at them, only to fumble over his words in the middle of his tirade because he can’t remember the words in English, and now he’s upset and tugging at his hair and hitting his head while they try desperately to hold his wrists and make him stop, to help him find the words he was looking for, but he’s speaking like three different languages at once and no one can follow and it just makes Dick so much more frustrated until he runs away to hide in his room.

They try not to get annoyed when he’s in the batcave and actually beating them when they spar (because he’s fighting way dirtier than he ever would if he was his normal age), only to have him taunt them and stick his tongue out at them.

They try to understand how the little brat that was just screaming in Bruce’s face is now clinging to his leg, sitting on his foot, and begging Bruce to let him sleep in his bed tonight. You have to keep the monsters out, he tells Bruce, and they all see the way that makes Bruce melt, makes him do anything Dick asks because somehow this menace has Bruce wrapped around his little finger.

They watch Dick swing from a chandelier one day, looking down and calling everyone some very colorful names in all sorts of languages, but especially Bruce. Then he’ll hop down and pretend like nothing happened, instead clinging to Bruce and making him carry him around all day long, acting as if he’ll be burned if his feet to touch the floor.

He goes from wild to sweet in the blink of an eye, and it’s a total mind fuck.

Then he turns back to normal and acts as if none of that was even out of the ordinary.

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One of the first lessons Bruce taught Dick when he was training to become Robin was to make use of every weapon in his arsenal. He of course meant his utility belt. But Dick just nodded his head so seriously and said, “Got it.”

And that’s how Robin became the menace kid that bites people. His arms are held back by a goon? Chomp! He can’t reach his birdarangs in time? Chomp! He’s just mad at someone and needs a quick and easy attack? Chomp!

Bruce can’t even get mad, because Dick always looks so proud of himself, and it does work rather efficiently. So he’ll just sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose (even if he’s wearing the cowl) and tell Robin he did a good job.

Bruce is just thankful he doesn’t bite other kids at school when he’s being Dick Grayson. He’s called into the principal’s office at Gotham Academy for enough other reasons, he doesn’t need to add biting to the list.

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I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

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kind of following Sonic's birthday, none of these boys are normal lol

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”haha don’t worry, the only AI i use is character AI-“

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Ocean announcement:

it's all gone

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I made a thing….

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I love the idea of little eight year old Dick Grayson becoming Robin, and he pesters Bruce in the cave (“It’s called the Batcave, Bruce!” “Of course, chum.”), doing handstands in the desk in front of the computer (“Batcomputer, Bruce!”), and telling him, “Superman and Wonder Woman are so cool! Don’t you like their costumes, B? You should invite them to Gotham! You can make a superhero club! I’ll be the Vice President. You can be Treasurer.”

“And who will be the President of this superhero club?”

“Superman, of course!”

“Oh, of course. Silly me.”

“Wonder Woman will actually be co-president with Superman.”

“Naturally.”

Dick pesters and prods Bruce until he finally sets up a meeting with Superman and Wonder Woman. They meet at a neutral location, but Bruce insists that Dick hide under the cape the entire time. He doesn’t want them meeting Robin yet. They don’t know if they can trust them yet.

Clark noticed the extra heartbeat, but he assumes Batman isn’t totally human, so maybe he has more than one heart.

Basically, Dick is the reason the Justice League exists. And he takes full advantage of that fact.

Bruce has Dick enrolled in gymnastics lessons so he can keep up with his acrobatics, and when he learns a fancy new trick, he insists he has to show it off.

“Now if everyone can just stay in their seats a few minutes longer,” Batman announces at the end of one of their first meetings. “Robin has something he’d like to share with you all.”

And there’s so much chatter after that, because many of them have heard of Robin, but Batman has never let them meet him.

Clark has finally learned that Batman’s extra heartbeat was in fact just Robin hugging Batman’s leg and sitting on his foot. It also explains why Batman had a slight limp the first few times they met.

And now they all watch as Robin leaps up onto the table, gets a running start, then performs a very impressive set of acrobatics. Then once he’s done, he sticks the landing and throws his hands in the air, then bows. All with a big grin on his face.

Batman clapping is what makes everyone else snap out of the shock, but they all clap and tell Robin how well he did, how impressive he is. And this tiny little kid is just beaming at all of them, then looking back at Batman with a big smug grin in his face.

As Batman and Robin are leaving, they might hear Robin asking, “Can Superman come to my meet next weekend?” while he hangs off Batman’s arm.

“No.”

“Please?”

“Maybe next time.”

And they all sit in shocked silence around the table even after Batman and Robin have been gone for a few minutes.

“Did Batman start the Justice League just to show off his kid?” Green Lantern asks.

“I think Robin made Batman start the Justice League so he could show off to all of us,” Superman jokes.

It’s not even that much of an exaggeration, but Dick does like to tell people even after he becomes Nightwing that he’s the reason the Justice League exists in the first place.

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Today a very friendly Golden Retriever came up to me and I said "hey buddy :D" and the owner asked "do you know each other?" like his dog had a social life he didn't know about