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weiyiann · 3 years ago

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i wanna be okay. | lee jeno

PAIRING: bodyguard!jeno x fem reader

GENRE: strangers-to-lovers, e2ls, SLOW BURN, celebrity! au, rich kid! au, romance, fluff, angst, humor

WORD COUNT: 18.1k

NOTES: profanity, alcohol consumption, lots of arguing lol, somewhat heavy violence, blood, hospitals, injuries and im not a doctor so pls don’t come for me, flirting that kinda makes me wanna p*ke, slightly suggestive scenes, kissing

SUMMARY: the one where your rich CEO dad hires you a mysterious bodyguard to stay by your side 24/7. on the contrary, as much as jeno tries to stay away from you- it’s just utterly impossible.

authors note: wow. it’s finally done. akbskdjdks after so many months of hard work, i’ve finally finished and any feedback would be greatly appreciated <33 anyways, so much work and effort has been put into this, so i really hope anyone reading/waiting for this enjoys! thank you all- jae (also yes this is set near christmas time bc i was writing then and just only finished now :))

TAGLIST: @mrkcore @moonbeamsung @neonvision @sunzwoo @neocuddlytechnology @itsveronicaxxx @keemburley @rynshyuckies @neochaeryeong @terjeno @lighthyucks @blank-velvet @kaexloey @aedreamzy @kodasity @dnckfwk

The split second the door is opened for you to exit, the flashes start attacking you with bright and harsh lights, fighting alongside with strong and sturdy hands helping you out of the car. You won’t lie, it put you off a little. You were used to the cameras all your life, but especially today it seemed like the loud, intruding voices and crowded bodies actually made a dent in your hardened shell.

Nonetheless, the party was a success. The articles and pictures of you online were newsworthy (as per usual) even when the process of getting them was quite in contrast to what was actually put out to the public.

‘CEO of Meija Tech’s Daughter, y/n y/l/n, Makes Striking Appearance for the Opening…’

You sigh, scrolling past the articles and comments- the majority were commenting on the harsh conditions of the paparazzi at your entrance.

Ha, can’t they leave her alone for once?

They follow her everywhere… can’t they just let her walk where she wants?

I feel bad… she can’t even walk out of a car before getting mobbed…

Tch. The biggest company in the country can’t even afford bodyguards for the daughter of the CEO?

Enough. You turn your phone off with a sense of finality. You knew this was going to happen. As the years passed and your exposure to the outside public grew, it was inevitable that your life would be invaded by parasites that feed off you and your every move. You’re the host. And they’ll take anything.

The incoming sound of heels clicking against the hard marbled floor catches your attention. You glance up. Your father’s secretary stands with her hands on her hips. “Yes?” you question innocently.

“Your father wishes-“

You get up from your spot in the workers' lounge (as if you belonged there), not caring to hear the rest of her words. “Yeah, I got it.”

Now, the sounds of your heels clicking fill the hallways, people murmuring as you walk past with that air of superiority and your head held high. In reality, it was just the habit formed by countless lessons your father forced you to take beginning at the mere age of six. Not to forget the fact that you didn’t care to hear the people working under your father talk shit about you and the people you cared about.

Exiting the elevator, you’re surprised to see that there’s no one in your father’s office- besides himself, of course. You clasp your hands together.

“Father.” He tilts his head slightly in acknowledgment.

“Is there a reason you called me to your office at this time?” Your father clears his throat, and you know he’s being serious. Then again, when was he not?

“I’m sure you’ve seen the news articles.” Ah. That’s what it is.

He continues, “and I’ve been thinking for some time now…”

Your hands clasp tighter.

“Perhaps we should hire you a bodyguard. A strong and reliable one to stay by your side at all times to keep you safe.”

It sinks in, and you bristle. “Father!”

He shakes his head. “This is imperative now. Especially as your popularity continues to grow and it exposes you more and more to the outside world.”

“But I don’t want one?” you frown. “I think I’m perfectly fine. I feel content with how it is now.”

He sighs. “Your safety, my daughter.”

You cross your arms. “Yes, that’s true, but I really don’t believe I need to-“ He holds a hand up, and you fall silent. This is a one-sided argument.

“That’s all. You can leave now.”

You end up trudging out of his office towards the elevator with no destination in mind. Your mind flashes back. Is it really that bad to have a bodyguard? Why are you so hesitant about getting one?

You don’t actually know. Maybe it’s because you were scared. That’s all. Scared to acknowledge that you were already at that level of fame. It was really scary to face that fact. You, y/n, were at risk enough that you needed a bodyguard to protect you from things you didn’t want to happen. Things you really would want to imagine to either.

But who actually knows, right?

Four. That’s when you lost your mother and instead got raised by family caretakers while your father was busy running just one of the largest franchises in the world. Obviously, you didn’t have a family. Or friends. Or anyone, for that matter.

You suppose you should thank your father for the boarding school he sent you to at age thirteen. Most people would probably object and detest going with all their being, but you saw it as a chance to explore. Explore life past the strict rules, regulated behaviors, constant empty house, and everything that surrounded you.

And people you did meet. Mainly other rich (snotty) kids and teachers, it was a prestigious boarding school after all, but some of them you actually clicked with. And stayed with to this day.

“Minjeong!” You call out happily, running to meet your friend. It’s been almost a month since you last saw her, work being the main priority and barrier between the both of you.

She gives you a small hug, a smirk on her face. “Hey, daughter of CEO y/l/n, whose face is all over the news still.” You roll your eyes.

“Don’t remind me. I hate it.”

“But I like having a famous friend.”

You roll your eyes before abruptly standing up straighter. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. Father plans on hiring me a bodyguard to accompany me the entire day, like a pet dog. I think it’s a bit much.”

“If I recall, that’s what a bodyguard does.” She then nods her head. “It makes sense, y/n. You need one.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You’re on his side?” Her eyes widen and you slump over. “Ugh, Minjeong, I really don’t know what to do. I just don’t want one. Not one bit.”

A hand comes to rest over yours. “Hey, I’m always on your side. That’s why I think having a bodyguard would be good. They’ll keep you safe, y/n,” she insists. “Just think about it. If you really don’t want one, maybe your father will reconsider it. Truly.”

It’s not likely.

But two weeks go on, and it seems like your father has forgotten about it. You feel a bit more relaxed now that it seems to have passed, and you enter the 20-story building that your father runs.

It’s going too well, to be honest. Enjoying a nice, steaming cup of coffee with the bright and sunny weather outside, it was bound to go downhill from here.

A familiar voice calls your name.

You raise an eyebrow. “Chaeryeong? Why are you up here?”

Your other close friend who also attended the same boarding school as you and Minjeong when you were younger, walks in. She decided to get a job at your father’s company just to start her off somewhere since her father and yours were business partners.

She puts a hand on her hip. “Haven’t you heard?” You pause mid-sip. “Huh? Heard what?”

“Lee Jeno’s here.”

You blink. “Who?”

She gets even closer to you, placing both of her hands on your shoulders with an astounded expression. “The bodyguard? Good looking? The kind where everyone is talking about him good-looking?” She emphasizes with wide eyes. You open your mouth but you don’t even know the next words that are about to come out. “I-wha-“ Quickly, you collect yourself, tucking a strand of hair behind you. “Why is he here?”

Minjeong bursts into the room with a wild look in her eyes, the door banging against the wall with a loud bam. Your heads whip towards the door.

“That attractive guy is your new bodyguard?!”

❀

“Father,” you pout, hands placed together as you try your best to work your way out of whatever this is.

“No.”

It feels as if a cold breeze blows past you, and you shiver. Sneakily from underneath your eyelashes, your eyes shift to the person sitting stiffly in front of you.

It’s been five minutes, so you quickly give up. Sighing, you cross your legs, and then your arms as if it would assert your dominance. “Alright, shall we head off?”

The figure says nothing, only imitating your actions as you get up and walk out of your father’s office.

“No funny business, daughter of mine,” yup father calls out with a stern expression.

You roll your eyes.

The sound of the elevator beeping as you go down the many floors of the building fills the air. Soon enough, you can’t stand the silence.

“Y/n y/l/n, but I’m sure you know that already. And you?”

This may be the first time he’s properly looked at you. He clasps his hand behind his back like a typical bodyguard and you observe him carefully.

“Lee Jeno,” he responds curtly.

Carefully, you make a note in your head. “How old are you?” You wait for about a minute before his response comes. “I don’t believe I am inclined to answer that.”

You tilt your head to the side, not paying any heed to what he just said. “2000, right? Nice to meet you,” you comment briefly. Jeno stares out the window with that stoic face of his.

The rest of the ride down is in silence.

Serious about his job, much?

The silence appears to be there for you to contemplate how the rest of your life is going to play out with this man at your side. Or…. perhaps he would get fed up with you. That would be funny, and sadly at this moment, a dream come true.

Jerk. Annoying, straight-faced asshole.

You continue writing furiously at your desk, the pen sounds scratching and stamping against the lined paper while the memory from earlier in the day replays in your head for the nth time.

You scoff, “Mr. Lee Jeno, it’s just a hangout, that’s all. Just my two friends and I. Why can’t you let me go? I don’t think you-“

He stands there with no expression. “Your father said you couldn’t go out past 11 pm, Miss, so I’m not letting you go out. Please get into the car.” You feel your face flush with anger.

“Who said you could command me like that? Huh?”

The air feels cold and hot at the same time. The only thing that cuts through your heated expressions is the lowering of the window by the driver.

“Miss y/l/n? Is everything alright?”

You unfreeze, immediately smiling towards the man. “Of course, mister.”

Jeno next to you quickly bows, voice void of emotion. “Yes, sir. I apologize. I believe Miss y/l/n left something inside the building but it’s too late to get it. We’ll get into the car now, I apologize once again for the inconvenience.”

You stand there for a second, too astounded to do anything except stare at the person dressed in all black in front of you.

The audacity of this man.

You barely make it into the car (or home for that matter), accompanied by a glare from jeno.

You groan loudly, head falling onto the table with a thud.

A face peeks into the room. Your grandma (who wasn’t your grandmother by blood but you still liked to call her as such) stares at you, concerned. “Are you okay, y/n? Frustrated with work?”

You look up with an uneasy smile. “Oh, yeah, something like that…”

After she leaves satisfied with your answer, you properly smile. After all these years, she’s stuck by your side and taken care of you in replacement of your real family. Even now, she stays with you at your own place as the housekeeper.

You hope she never has to deal with dicks like Lee Jeno. You pinch your nose bridge, irked again.

It’s only been a week, and you’re at your wit's end. Why? Just why does the person you have to see every day for 24 hours on repeat have to be him? An aggravating, cocky, expressionless, handsome douch-

You stop yourself. And smack your face three, no, four times for good measure. You stand up violently with your palms planted flat on the table.

Let’s sleep.

You nod to yourself. Great idea.

❀

You stare holes into the man following after you into the building with his hands behind his back. You sincerely hope he gets the memo that you’re cursing him with your eyes.

You remember the first day of having Lee Jeno employed as your bodyguard. You remember the words you exchanged then.

You're fed up. You stop in your tracks, spinning around with your arms crossed and eyes glinting. “Do you have to follow me everywhere?”

Jeno stands there a few feet away, as he has been the whole day. “Do you know what a bodyguard does?” he retorts, unfazed.

You groan. “You know what? Go home. You can come back whenever my father’s around, so he at least thinks you’re doing your job. How’s that?” You point a finger at him aggressively. “I’ll pay you more. How much? What about-”

Jeno cocks his head. “Are you that much of an idiot?”

You scowl as you cross the lobby. Your bodyguard follows you into the elevator without a word and exits onto your floor without a word.

He’s even got his own personal desk now in your office, and you want to smack all the papers piled on his desk flying off.

Why the fuck does a bodyguard have his own papers to file?

You go to your desks respectively, not a single word exchanged. It lasts for about fourish hours until you give up. You stand up from your chair, exhaling as you glance at jeno. “I want to get something from the cafe. Let’s go.”

He gets up quietly, hands in his pocket as he follows you.

❀

You tap your hand on your chin thoughtfully. This order was especially important, as your day was already horrible enough and this one choice could quite literally change it.

Jeno sighs from behind you, reaching for his walkie-talkie. “No sir, we’re at the cafe. Miss y/n is taking a while with her order, I apologize on her behalf." It’s as if he was purposefully speaking louder for you to hear. You ignore him, gritting your teeth.

You practically start skipping in your designer heels, the taste of the drink makes you feel so giddy inside. Then it hits you. You left your layout plans back at home, so you switch your directions to head back there.

“Hey,” Jeno interrupts. “Where are you going? This isn’t the way back to the office.”

You ignore jeno once again.

Then a rough hand grabs your wrist, pulling you back with so much force. So much that you lose control and your drink is flung at jeno, soaking his neatly ironed suit.

Time pauses for a moment. You gasp, the air rushed out of you. Jeno freezes, the cold drink chilling his bones.

And then, it starts again. You snatch your hand out of his grip. “Are you crazy?” You yell, pissed. “What the hell is wrong with you!?”

Jeno grits his teeth, closing his eyes in an attempt to control himself. You raise a finger, directing it straight at his face, just in-between his onyx eyes. “Who said you could touch-“

You’re prevented from saying anything else as you feel your body being ripped from its spot and slammed against a nearby brick wall, the pain almost making your eyes well up with tears.

A hand slams harshly next to you, and your eyes flick towards the culprit. You swear you can see his eyes flash red, and his chest heaves heavily with anger.

“Why are you always acting like a bitch?”

He steps even closer and instead of backing down, you meet his intense gaze. After a few seconds, you scoff and roll your eyes, crossing your arms once again.

“Have you always been this spoiled?” He breathes out shakily, nostrils flaring. “Perhaps you should open your eyes to the people around you instead of being a selfish and egotistical brat.”

You notice a prominent vein sticking out in his neck from the close proximity and swallow. You look away and then push him hardly off of you, disgust in your eyes. “I don’t think you have the right to say anything like that as my bodyguard. I also don’t think you have the right to prevent me from going to my own home. Don’t you dare follow me anymore.”

Fuming, you stomp off.

❀

If there was ever a time you wanted to kill someone, now would be the perfect chance.

“Mr. Lee will be moving into your place.”

You clench your jaw. “Father, you can’t possibly make that person live in my home!”

“Who, again, is the one paying for your current residence?”

You falter before gathering your resolve. “Sure, you did. I’m grateful for that. But you only got it through connections.” You sigh, turning your head away. “It doesn’t matter. There’s no way I’ll ever let him take one step in my place.”

Your father’s eyes narrow. “You need surveillance hourly after that cafe stunt, and the only way to do that is by having Mr. Lee stay with you. At all times.”

❀

You don’t like this. Not at all.

Shoulders rigid and tense, you stand in front of the door to your penthouse located on the top floor. Still being a young adult, your father pulled some strings to let you live in an apartment building near the office with your care-taking staff.

Well, from now on, your bodyguard, Lee Jeno as well.

Hesitantly, you type in the passcode and watch the door swing open. Not bothering to look behind you, you call out, “The passcode is 0418. Remember that from now on because I won’t tell you again.”

You see your grandmother and immediately smile. She stops in her tracks, shocked at the appearance of a man in your home.

Jeno quickly bows. “Hello. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs… ?”

She laughs, already taken in by his appearance and apparent manners. You watch uninterestedly from the side, picking at your nails.

“No need for formalities, just call me auntie,” she smiles kindly.

You clear your throat, calling out sweetly, “Grandmother~”

She raises an eyebrow. You carefully tiptoe over to her, leaning in to whisper in her ear, “That man is my bodyguard. You know, the one I told you about…”

She pulls away, surprised, before looking back at jeno. “Really? You’re that handsome man?”

You choke on your spit. He smiles bashfully, and your mouth almost drops. The first time you’ve ever seen lee jeno smile, and it was… You look away.

pretty.

He bows again. “Thank you, auntie.”

Flustered, you call for a maid. “Take him to his room and tell him all the rules for staying here,” you order. Then you turn around and head towards your bedroom, desperately wishing for this to be a dream. For lee jeno who is currently staying in your home to all just be a dream.

It’s no use.

You get up, sighing. Hours later, you still can’t sleep. You can’t sleep knowing that lee jeno is a few bedrooms away, doing who knows what.

Probably sleeping, you remind yourself with a sarcastic laugh.

But for some reason, you can’t help but wonder about him. You groan, trying to get settled back into bed. And then you see his face again.

Lee jeno, smiling with those stupidly pretty eyes.

You want to rip your hair out.

Quietly tip-toeing, you walk out into the dark living room and across the hall to his guest room. Heart pounding, you stop at the door. Your hand slowly rests on the handle, and you contemplate for a second. Knocking and waiting give you no answer.

So you open it. Only to find the room empty, as if he was never there in the first place.

If this feeling was disappointment, perhaps? you don’t know what you would do, so you head back to your room, feeling as if you could finally shut your eyes.

❀

You get it, after a few days of coming home late at night with him always a few steps behind.

Jeno leaves. That bit was obvious, but it all made sense now. He always left late at night, and always came back early in the morning for you. At first, you thought it was a waste of time (and precious sleep) before you recalled what he said to you that one day.

“Perhaps you should open your eyes to the people around you instead of only being a selfish and egotistical brat.”

You laugh, upset when you really shouldn’t be. That’s right, jeno probably has his own family that he has to return to, that he never sees because of his demanding job. His job where he has to see your complaining, spoiled face every day. He probably has a girlfriend, or wife even-

You slap yourself. Stop wasting your time thinking about jeno. You know what? It’s time to say goodnight.

You needed to rest, after all, tomorrow was a big day. Another one added to the countless big days you’ve already had in your youth and age.

❀

“I conclude my proposition for the upcoming 2022 schedule. I thank you all for your attention and attendance.” You bow, and rounds of claps fill the room.

Unbeknownst to you, jeno stands out to the side of the meeting room, leaning against the wall as he waits for you. He stood planted like that for hours since the beginning of the meeting.

He looks down at the ground, still hearing the lasting effects of the applause from your presentation. Jeno won’t lie- he’s impressed. Okay so maybe at first he thought you were just another snotty rich kid with nothing better to do than spend all your money, but it turns out you can be more than that. He almost scoffs at the thought.

The way you exuded confidence- it was oozing out of you and into everyone in the room, and your voice speaking melodies (and many things he didn’t understand), but it was enough to make him shiver.

After finishing the ending remarks, you finally notice jeno’s presence. How long has he been there?

You walk over with a neutral expression on your face. You’re waiting, you’re not sure what for, but you’re waiting for him.

And all he does is stare.

You don’t get flustered. Not easily. And lee jeno staring at you for a long time made you flustered.

You bite your lip, frustrated. “What?” You finally bark. No response.

“What are you looking at?” You demand, looking disgusted. You walk off without another word. If you were being honest, you may have seemed rude but you were actually fretting internally, heart racing.

Was it your hair?

Self-consciously, you pat the top of your head, looking for a nearby mirror.

No way- this morning you purposely set your alarm early to do your hair for the meeting and so a certain someone would notice- you cough suddenly, thoughts interrupted by the approaching executive director. Immediately, you stop and put your act on, smiling and bowing. “How are you, sir?”

If you had just stayed back one more second, then you might’ve heard jeno murmur,

“you.”

❀

You bite your lip, searching through desk after desk.

Where could it be?

You swear you saw your father put it in the bottom left drawer, but it wasn’t there.

Running a hand through your hair, you quickly double-check that no one else is in the room, and continue the search. Your eyes gleam.

Found it.

The car keys dangle in your hand, practically shining in the light. It’s been months since you’ve last seen your precious baby, months since your father forbid you from driving. Probably to keep you from escaping late at night and doing things you shouldn’t be doing as the famous daughter of a CEO.

“What are you doing?”

Shit. You scramble to your feet, fixing your outfit.

Jeno stands in front of you, looking unimpressed. “What are those?”

You grow defensive, trying not to look as guilty or suspicious as possible while silently cursing him in your head. “Is asking questions the only thing you do?”

He shifts. “Maybe, if those car keys are yours.” He opens his mouth again. “I-“

In two seconds you’re in front of him, hands behind your back. Maybe just this once, it’ll work…

You look up at him from under your eyelashes, trying to muster the most pitiful (and childish) expression you can. “Please, oh please, my wonderful dear bodyguard, will you let me off just this once?” You squeeze your eyes shut. “I promise I’ll never treat you horribly or yell at you ever again. If you want, I won’t even talk to you anymore. I swear, these are the keys to my happiness-“

You peek an eye open, waiting hesitantly for his reaction.

You pout using your special pitiful eyes, leaning in closer. “Please, Mr. Lee, I really need this…”

Jeno stands there, still as a rock and completely unfazed by your little stunt. He blinks, clasping his arms behind his back and clearing his throat. “Are you done?”

You stop the act, deflated. You tilt your head to the side, anger building inside you once again.

He seems oblivious, looking outside the window at the scenery. “I believe your friend requested to have lunch with you at this time, miss.” You stand up straighter, temporarily distracted. “Huh? Who?”

❀

The CEO eventually calls Jeno into his office later that night.

Jeno bows, awaiting his next words. “You called me in, sir?” Your father sighs, hands clasped together at his desk. “I happened to see y/n exit my office earlier today, although I’m certain she did not have any engagements or reasons to be in here. Is there something you need to tell me?”

Jeno inhales, thinking back to this morning with your hands cutely clasped in front of you and eyes shut. That side of you he never would have expected- that made his hands clammy. When was the last time he had clammy hands?

He swallows, bowing once again.

“No, sir.”

The CEO cocks his head. “Really?”

“I believe she was just grabbing her jacket that she left there earlier this morning.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes sir.”

He gestures with a hand, “If that’s all, you’re dismissed.”

Jeno turns to leave, a storm brewing inside of him.

❀

It’s been a week and your father hasn’t said anything. You giggle to yourself before looking up.

“Mr. Jeno!”

He sighs, walking to your desk. “Yes?”

You look around animatedly, humming. “I wonder… could you get me two coffees?”

Jeno’s eye twitches. You never break eye contact, staring deeply into his eyes with a sparkle. “Pretty please? I’ll pay you back. Extra if you want.”

You smile brightly up at him, and he turns away. Once jeno leaves, you get back to your work, humming happily.

Chareryeong’s mouth drops open from across the table after seeing your interaction. She quickly glances around before turning to you and whispering, “I thought you hated that man? All you did was talk shit about him to me.”

You tap your pencil against your papers quickly scribbling something down.

“Well… it’s turned out to be better than I originally thought.”

“What do you mean?”

You shrug. “Not sure, he’s just an interesting man. He only talks when talked to, and doesn’t show an ounce of emotion.”

“Except when he’s pissed at me,” you add quickly, frowning.

You dramatically whip your head towards the nearby window, sunlight shining through to light up the best features of your face while you study the beams of light.

“I want to be the one to get him to open up. I want to unlock those secrets of his,” you murmur wistfully.

She shakes her head. “Are you crazy? Or a pervert? No, both?”

You send a deadly glare towards Chaeryeong. “I’m not, I’m just hungry.” You frown, “How long do you think he’ll take to get back?”

❀

Two cups of coffee are slammed onto the desk, and you almost flinch before proceeding to let out a blindingly breathtaking smile once you realize who it is in front of you. “Thanks, my dear bodyguard.”

He stands there, unamused.

Sighing, you pick up a cup and offer it to him. “I got it for you.”

Oh, really? He thinks mockingly to himself. “I don’t drink coffee,” he states simply before turning away.

You stare down the back of jeno, from his perfectly styled hair to his broad shoulders and down to neatly tied shoes. Tch.

There’s no need for you to worry, after all, you’ll have plenty more chances.

❀

This game of cat and mouse continues on, to jeno’s pure dislike. He would never admit it, but intrigue fills him just as much. You intimidate him. Your dramatic 360 change in behavior around jeno confused not only him but the people around you. Either way, jeno refuses to fall into your trap. No matter how sweetly you talk to him with that infuriating (read: cute) look on your face.

-except for times such as these, when you act so stubborn and do such idiotic things jeno can’t stand to comprehend you.

So there was a reason you didn’t go far away from your house or father’s building into the public that often when alone.

Your eyebrow twitches. You quietly clear your throat, lowering your head even closer to the ground as if it’ll hide your identity anymore. You prayed that the baseball cap you wore purposefully to cover your face would work, but obviously, it didn’t- judging by the whispers around you.

“Excuse me, are you by chance, y/n y/l/n?”

You smile sheepishly, lowering your head even more while cursing internally. “Oh, uh, you see-“

“Guys, that’s CEO y/l/n’s daughter.”

“No way, you’re right.”

“Do you think I can get a picture? I’ve never been this close to a celebrity before..”

“Damn, she’s a lot prettier in person…”

Before you know it, a crowd surrounds you in the store while alarms go off in your head. You hear their insistent demand for pictures or autographs and see the confusion by the workers in the store. Cringing, you look around for the exit, avoiding hands reaching towards your body as you scramble to escape.

Jeno… you think, panicking. Jeno. Where is he?

That’s right. He said he was going for a walk while you were shopping in the store. Fuck, you curse.

And then, it’s like heaven appears right before your eyes. Amid the mob, you see a hand reach for you, and then a firm grip on your wrist pulls you out.

It’s jeno, gritting his teeth as he takes you away and makes a break for it. You feel like you’re in an action movie, running away in slow motion as jeno drags you along.

He turns left, then left again, and then right. You’re such a mess, adrenaline pumping through your veins as you and jeno turn a corner, almost running into another couple.

Jeno halts immediately, aggressively but still somehow politely commanding something from them. You’re confused, brain feeling like it’s running a thousand miles per hour. He knocks off your hat quickly while still on the lookout- you’re not even sure how he’s doing all these things at once.

You feel something shoved on top of your head and it finally clicks when you spot jeno wrapping the (hideous) jacket the lady was wearing just a few seconds ago around you.

He puts a cap on, presumably the man’s, and quickly thanks the confused couple before pulling you to a secluded corner by the edge of a building.

“What are you-“

You hear voices and you’re sure there was a quick hint of your name, causing you to gasp in fear.

Jeno bites his lip, looking around in desperation before he continues past the corner, revealing a sketchy, dark alleyway.

He starts toward it but you resist, pulling back without budging.

His head whips back toward you. “What are you-?”

You glare indignantly back at him. “I’m not going down that alley. You have no clue what’s in there.”

He rolls his eyes. “We don’t have time.” You pull your hand out of his grip, crossing your arms as you look to the side. “I will not.”

“You’re being a brat,” he snaps, and you nod stubbornly in acknowledgment. “Sure- I am. But you’re not making me go in that awful place.” Right as you finish, you hear multiple voices getting closer, and it takes a lot in you to not whimper.

“Idiot,” he hisses, before peeking past the corner as the voices get louder and louder. You don’t have time to process before you feel jeno push you against the wall with that seemingly inhumane bodyguard strength of his, just like that time before, except this time he leans into you, caging you underneath his arms.

“What are you- why-“ you splutter, but his face comes so close to yours that you simply shut your eyes tightly in response. You wait, feeling his soft breathing right above your mouth and lips hovering- almost touching yours.

But he never does. Even when the crowd walks by, unknowingly passing you two with your disguises, you grip tightly onto his jacket.

Jeno doesn’t let go until you’re safe. He releases you from under him, and you finally feel like you can breathe.

You hate the fact that jeno smelled really disgustingly good. Especially good- you can almost imagine, a pine forest with a woody and fresh scent that was stuck forever in your head. Perhaps the scent just reminded you of things you wished for that jeno carried with him.

You walk behind jeno, following like a lost puppy back to the car pickup area. You feel like you just ran a 5k, the adrenaline still not having faded yet.

You can just tell by jeno’s tense shoulders that he is probably, absolutely furious. When you reach the designated spot, waiting for the car to come pick you guys up, he turns to you with fists clenched.

“Why,” he shudders, “why did you think it was a good idea to go out in public without me? Did you really think no one would recognize you? Are you that fucking stupid?”

You look away, fidgeting. “I thought the hat would be enough to cover my face but…”

He scoffs, putting his hands on his hips. “A baseball cap isn’t enough to hide your identity- you know people can still see you with a hat on, right?”

He looks away, sarcastically chuckling. “Or maybe not, since you don’t even go outside.”

The car finally pulls up as you feel the anger boil through your body.

“Sure. Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself, you entitled prick!” You yell indignantly, two seconds away from flipping him off and calling for an uber.

“You can’t for shit,” jeno growls back. He takes your arm, opening the door, and forcefully putting you in the car. He thanks the valet driver, exchanging places and getting into the driver's seat.

You wait until he gets adjusted on the road again before speaking up, looking straight at his side profile. “I’m fine. Nobody got hurt, so it’s alright. I understand what to do from now on, so you don’t have to be mad anymore.“

The car rolls to a stop at the red light.

“You could’ve died. How can you not get that into your dense brain?” He snaps. “Your life is of uttermost importance- why do you even think people like me exist? To protect people's lives, your life, because you can’t afford to get hurt. You don’t understand the repercussions of your actions.”

The rest of the ride is in silence. You don’t dare to look at him anymore. When he reaches your apartment building, you get out and walk in without a single look back.

He sighs, reaching to move the car out of park when he spots an unfamiliar item.

Your jacket. Jeno sighs, deciding that he doesn’t want any of your belongings left in this car. He hesitates, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue before finally unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out.

When he reaches your door, he’s about to knock before he remembers you told him the passcode before.

“Remember that from now on because I won’t tell you again.”

The door unlocks with a quiet beep, swinging open gently. Jeno goes in silently as it’s in his nature, contemplating if he should just leave your jacket on the couch when he sees your room door open.

Peeking past, the only thing in sight is you, huddled by the foot of your bed and looking so small, perhaps the smallest he’s ever seen you. Jeno stops, confused. It’s silent.

He places your jacket down and takes a few steps towards your figure. As he gets closer, he can hear only one thing.

The sound of your quiet sniffles. That’s when he sees your body shaking.

Instinct kicks in and jeno bursts through the door and runs to your side, grabbing your shoulders and whipping you around so he can assess the damage.

You freeze awkwardly, bewildered. “W-what are you doing?”

He stills, equally as confused as you are. And then you gasp, horrified. “Did you follow me in? Did you watch me the entire time?”

Jeno feels shock and embarrassment course through his veins. You weren’t hurt.

You were crying.

How could he not notice before he saw your fluttering, watery eyes, and red nose?

Jeno looks down, voice soft. “Why… what’s wrong?”

Abruptly, you wipe your eyes and clear your throat. Sheepishly, you laugh. “It’s nothing, I just thought-“

You cut your sentence off midway, bringing a hand to run through your hair while you collect yourself.

This time, your voice comes out small and slow, as if you were a child that just got scolded. “I’m scared, jeno. You were right.”

You look away, head down so your hair falls in front of your face. “It was really scary.” Your voice is timid and hesitant. “What am I supposed to do now when I can’t even go outside without fearing for my life? When did things get like this?”

Your eyes slowly raise to look at him as you try to hold back from quivering. “I just… i wanna be okay.”

A few beats of silence pass. Eventually, Jeno’s hand reaches out, and it falls on the back of your neck, pushing you forward until your forehead rests against his.

Your breath hitches.

“I’m sorry.”

The sound of his voice, so soft and tender, sends shivers throughout your body.

“I promise I’ll protect you. You don’t have to be scared any longer, because I’m here, okay? I’m here to keep you safe, remember it’s my duty to make sure nothing happens to you. I’ll be the one to make you okay.” He stares at you, gazing deeply into your eyes. You can’t seem to break away from his dark eyes, full of compassion and sincerity.

He exhales, slowly releasing you. “Come on,” he stands up and straightens himself, “it’s been a long day and you should go to sleep.”

You nod, head empty except for exhaustion.

You stare up at the ceiling after getting tucked into bed. You can see jeno standing awkwardly by the door at the edge of your view, waiting. Shifting under the covers, you call out hesitantly, “Will you stay? Just-” you swallow, “just stay near me until I fall asleep? So I can feel safe?” Your voice ends in a whisper.

Jeno does. He watches you for a while, not knowing if he should stay or go. Just so he doesn’t feel like those creepy stalkers in movies, he goes to sit by the chair near your bed, staring at your peaceful face and your breaths soon evening out.

Jeno leaves after cleaning up the place a little bit, putting your shoes by the door and jacket up even though he knew you had workers hired to do those jobs.

Jeno leaves after delicately brushing the stray hairs off your face.

❀

It’s a beautiful morning. You wake up feeling strangely refreshed, getting out of bed and padding over to your master bathroom to get ready for the day.

You see swollen eyes staring back at you in the mirror, weird. Leaving over the sink, you turn on the faucet, about to run your hands under the water-

when it hits you.

Everything that happened yesterday. Everything comes rushing back.

You freeze, a hand covering your mouth as you let out a muffled shriek. The crowd chasing you, jeno almost kissing you, him catching you crying, the “will you stay?”

You silently hyperventilate, pacing back and forth across the marbled flooring. There’s no way you can go to work today. Absolutely no way.

❀

You sit rigidly at your desk in the office, too distracted to focus so your hands type random words onto the computer, keyboard clacking erratically.

So far, Jeno hasn’t said or done anything differently. He’s greeted you the same, spoke the same- nothing seems to be off. Except you, obviously.

Your father’s secretary walks in, accompanied by the sharp clicking of her heels. “Y/n, dear, your father was wondering when you would submit the instruction plans.”

You sit up straight. “Instruction plans?” you ask, blinking. She raises an eyebrow. “The one due today?”

Well, shit.

❀

You already knew the moment you screwed up you would be sent to the one and only- your father’s office.

It’s deadly quiet, and you stand with your head lowered to the ground and hands clasped behind your back.

“Y/n.”

You bite your lip. “Father.”

“How can I have such high expectations of you when you forget imperative things like these plans? You knew they were due today. We were counting on you, and we didn’t dare expect them to come in five hours late.”

You breathe in, and then out. “Forgive me, father. It was a one-time mistake that I know I will never do again. I promise to keep track of all my schedules from now on.”

“Should I get you your own personal secretary-“

“No!” You blurt out instinctively, although you catch yourself a second later, swiftly composing yourself. “No thank you. I had some issues yesterday but I assure you it will never happen again.”

He dismisses you with a hand.

Things seemed to settle down again after that. Surprisingly, you and jeno hadn’t gotten in many major arguments after that. It was more of bickering. Friendly bickering that actually left you laughing more times than fuming. It was a nice change to see jeno smiling more often. And unbeknownst to you, he felt the same.

Before jeno clocks in one fine morning, chaeryeong rolls her chair over to your desk. You look at her, waiting for her next words.

“So… you and jeno?” An incomprehensible sound escapes your mouth without warning, causing her to raise her eyebrows higher. Quickly, you clear your throat. “What are you talking about?”

She holds back a laugh. “Every time I see you two around the building, you’re always talking. And smiling.”

You look back towards your computer screen awkwardly- suspiciously. “So? Are we not allowed to do that?” She sends you another knowing look, one that you ignore, instead focusing back on your work.

Jeno comes in strangely late, specifically 40 minutes late. And he’s never late. You watch him plop down at his desk with a disgruntled grunt, sluggishly getting his things prepped for the day. A frown settles on your face unconsciously.

The whole day, he acts strange. He looks exhausted- not the kind that you’re familiar with- not the one you usually have when there’s a big presentation the next day and you can’t sleep, but more just like when you’re tired of life. Done with living. Exhausted from life.

His responses to your questions are short. Even when you ask if there’s something wrong, he just brushes it off or looks away. It throws off your whole day. It's difficult when he spends all his time with you, constantly at your side, and it bothers you much more than you would have liked.

Even the drive home is completely silent. You study him from the side, his eyebrows furrowed and jaw tense like they have been all day.

You wait until he reaches your apartment building before speaking up hesitantly. “Are you really alright, jeno?”

He murmurs an unconvincing, “yeah.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been-“

“I said I’m fine!” he snaps, turning to you with a spark in his eyes before it dissipates. He looks away, fidgeting with his fingers. “Sorry, didn’t mean to yell at you. It’s nothing you did. Just don’t worry about me,” he says, voice considerably lower.

A tiny nod escapes from you. You both make your way up quietly to your home, the silence feeling strange as you and jeno usually chatted during the way up, but obviously, that didn’t happen today.

Once you enter and greet all the workers, you excuse yourself to wash up in your master bathroom, leaving jeno to linger in the living area. You assume he’s going to leave sooner than later as he always does, never once having stayed the night at your place since your father directed him to do so.

You take your sweet time, allowing yourself to wash away all the stressful things of the day as you get ready for bed. But before you do, you go outside to get a glass of water and chat with your grandmother.

What you did not expect was to see jeno’s sleeping figure on your plush couch, body rising and falling peacefully with his breaths. He must’ve been exhausted, having fallen asleep like that. You stop in your tracks, processing the sight. What in the world?

Swallowing, you decide to carefully walk closer, examining his face and how even in his slumber he still looks stressed.

A sound diverts your attention, a couple of the maids standing there patiently. You silently signal for them to leave you two in peace.

You study him with an unreadable expression. “Did you have a rough day?” You whisper softly, a concerned look on your face. “You seemed so off the whole day, I have no clue what happened to you.” You look around before exhaling and reaching out a hand to fix a piece of his styled hair that fell out of its place.

“I’m- uh, I’m sorry?”

You’re unsure of what to do or say next, so you grab a blanket from the guest room and attempt to cover him as best as you can, especially for the fact that you had never done anything like this to someone else before.

Before you head to bed, you inform the workers to let him sleep on the couch for the night. You have no idea why this instinct comes over you- why it makes you do these things for him.

❀

Jeno wakes up with the sun in his face, an unfamiliar background coming into focus. He rests there for a moment, allowing his body to fully wake up.

He shifts- his clothes, he’s still in his suit- and where even is he?

Sitting up, it eventually comes back to him in pieces. That’s right, he fell asleep at your place on your couch. But the blanket? He has no recollection of anything else.

Jeno spots a glass of water on the table, and he glances around before figuring it must be for him. He takes a gulp, and then another one, and then another before he realizes he’s finished it all.

He hears a familiar voice. “Mr. Jeno?”

It’s your grandmother. She smiles kindly at him. “The missus informed me to tell you that you have the day off. Just rest, alright?”

His eye twitches. “Pardon?”

She laughs. “You don’t have to work today, dear. Don’t go to the office. Y/n especially enforced that.”

He stares at the white blanket still covering him, thinking back to last night. Before your grandmother leaves him be, she has her last remark. “She was really concerned for you after last night. Please take better care of yourself, jeno.”

“Y/n? Really?” All jeno can do is wonder why.

You sit there, as still as a statue while the makeup artists and hairstylists work their magic. It’s been a while since you’ve gone out to a public event due to your father’s advice that the was best to let things cool off after those crazy fan situations. It’s been a while since you’ve attended one of these events as a brand ambassador.

You stand head to toe dressed in their clothes, practically a walking advertisement. The last time you remember doing any activity related to their brand was when you shot for a photo shoot to be printed on magazines sent out all over the country.

After the last finishing touches are put on your face, you thank everyone and head for the car to take you to the event’s location.

Jeno greets you in the car, and you nod with a grim smile. There wasn’t a feeling of nervousness in you, more of a numb sense filling your body. You watch the night lights zoom by through the car window, and occasionally sounds beeping from jeno’s walkie-talkie would fill the air.

You know when you’re getting close because the sounds of fans and chatter and just about everything get louder and louder. When the car rolls to a stop, you brace yourself. Jeno gets out first, and that’s when you suddenly freeze. Someone opens the door, and suddenly all the sounds are amplified. The screams from fans, cameras clicking, employees of the event are all there. But again, just as it once happened before, a hand extends out to you.

It’s Jeno’s.

You gulp, internally commanding yourself to put on your public face while taking his hand out of the car.

The flashing lights and desperate paparazzi reaching out to you are familiar. Instead, you just try your best to smile and keep a cool head. But it’s difficult when there are so many people surrounding you, trapping you.

You look up at jeno.

And once again, it feels like time freezes. Suddenly he’s the one that seems so cool in the midst of flashing lights, the stoic expression on his face as he holds a hand out to make way as your bodyguard takes your breath away.

You’re so caught up in staring at him, gulping, that you don’t know if you’re even moving forward. Or paying attention.

Well, evidently not since you don’t notice a mic shoved at you until it’s right in your face. You flinch, and jeno immediately shields you, pushing it away. He guides you to another route that’s not blocked by as many people. Jeno waits until there’s a moment for you to breathe before asking with the same concern he once showed you before. “Are you okay?”

Throat dry, you can’t bring yourself to respond so you nod quickly. Then you’re swept into the rest of the event and all of its happenings. Luckily, you’re professional enough to compose yourself for the rest of your appearance at the show.

You pose for pictures just like those professional models, answer questions flawlessly, and interact with the other famous people there all while keeping a smile on your face at all times. There’s a chance it all came off looking fake, but you’re hoping that it was enough to convince the public and the people.

The people. The fans. Your fans. Your fans that you love and appreciate the most. (Excluding the crazy ones that completely disregard your rights as a human being.)

It’s only when they ask for pictures or signatures from you that you truly smile. And jeno can clearly see that. Even when he’s farther off, not the one in the spotlight, he can see your felicitous smile as you pose with your adoring supporters. The times when you’re not right in front of the camera, you’ll nudge him, muttering about how cute your fans are or how talented they are with the creative banners they make for you.

Jeno has never seen this side of you before. He’s only seen the fear in your eyes when those intrusive fans suddenly surrounded you. He’s only seen the crying, upset you who’s scared to be who you are.

But when you smile at them, he unknowingly smiles at you.

❀

The event lasts for five hours, including preparation beforehand and closing statements. Not necessarily a long time, but jeno isn’t used to constantly watching over one person's every move or constantly being in fear something will happen to you after those previous times. Every time you leave his sight, he can’t truly breathe until he sees you again.

Finally, when you wave goodbye to all your admirers and get into the car, can jeno’s heart relax. You breathe a sigh of relief, buckling your seatbelt as jeno shifts the car into drive.

“You looked nice today,” he comments out of the blue.

You glance at him, observing as he drives out of the venue. But perhaps, you might’ve looked too much for too long. You didn’t pay attention to how long you really were staring at him.

“Why are you looking at me so much today?”

You inhale sharply, turning away. “H-huh? What are you talking about?” You pretend to act oblivious, murmuring something random about the weather finally getting cooler. Jeno chuckles quietly, driving the rest of the way home.

When he pulls up and opens the door for you, you finally realize the extent to which your feet hurt, having stood around in heels for far too long. You can’t wait to get up to the comfort of your penthouse and take them off- quite actually the best feeling ever.

You take a few steps before unexpectedly turning around to face jeno. He stops, somewhat surprised.

“Why don’t you actually sleep at my place? Why do you leave in the middle of the night and come back early in the morning?”

His eyes widen. A few beats pass with no answer.

At last, you look down, shrugging. “I was just curious, that’s all. You don’t have to answer,” you reply, reassuring him with a smile.

“Go home and get some rest. Thanks for sticking with me today.” You quickly bow and run inside the apartment, heart pounding erratically. Jeno can only stand there, shocked while watching your silhouette get smaller and smaller until it disappears into the building.

What could this be?

It keeps happening. Whenever he holds a hand for you to take while stepping out from the car or opens doors for you- or does anything more than his job doesn’t necessarily entail. Jeno’s been doing it since the beginning, whether you asked him to or not. So why is it suddenly affecting you like this? Why does it even make a difference? It’s just manners, but to you, it’s more.

When you open the door to the car in the morning and he turns to look at you from the driver’s seat, it’s like a scene from those movies. It always plays out in slow motion, jeno in his clean suit and freshly styled hair turning around to greet you. The first time you experienced this, you almost shut the door and quite literally walked back into the building. It made you feel weird- an unavoidable feeling building inside each time it happened, and you couldn’t describe it.

Things like that would make you wonder. Is it just formality? You’ve seen how jeno acts around others, he’s truly a polite and well-mannered person. Is he just being nice to you since he was hired by your father? Those thoughts would invade your mind from time to time. Then again, you didn’t always have that kind of precious time to dwell on that, you were the famous daughter of the biggest CEO in the country. But that didn’t mean you still couldn’t try.

Tuesday. 8 am.

“Jeno!” You greet enthusiastically as he walks into your office as if you hadn’t seen him just sometime earlier when he came to pick you up to head to work.

“Good morning,” he responds calmly. You watch him get settled in at his desk.

11 am.

You blow a stray hair out of your face, tapping your pen against the table repeatedly as you think of a solution. Your brain feels like it’s hanging on a thin wire, about to snap. This is why you didn’t want to follow in your father’s footsteps, you remind yourself.

You frown silently, eyes wandering around the room. Naturally, they fall on jeno whose attention was focused on his phone, and you assume he’s playing his weird shooting game considering his furrowed eyebrows and hunched shoulders. You’ve watched him play it a couple of times before, whenever he was bored while waiting for you after some long meeting or discussion.

A lightbulb goes off in your head, causing a mischievous smile to appear on your face. Target acquired. You position yourself in your wheely chair and push. If your father saw, you would be scolded for “improper office etiquette.”

The wheels make a satisfying sound as they cruise against the ground, going straight in the direction you wanted. You roll up right next to jeno’s desk, one arm on the armrest as you place your chin in the palm of your hand, lingering. He doesn’t seem to notice your presence so you wait by peering down at his screen, eventually getting into his game.

He gets shot, his fingers flying wildly over the screen, and you let out a horrified gasp. Jeno’s head whips around before his sight lands on you and he visibly relaxes. “Fucking hell, you scared me.”

You smile innocently.

He shuts off the device. “What are you doing? Aren't you working?” You roll your eyes. “I can’t. I’m stuck. Help me, my dear bodyguard.”

Jeno pauses the game thoughtfully, looking at the clock on the wall next to him. “It’s almost lunchtime. Do you plan on going out?”

A wide smile breaks onto your face. “Well, now that you mention it…” Jeno stifles laughter as you eagerly grab your stuff and get ready to head out together.

Friday. Noon.

“Do you like your bodyguard?” Minjeong unexpectedly asks in the middle of your girls’ lunch.

You tilt your head to the side, sipping on your drink. “Do I like Jeno? I mean, sure. We don’t fight as much as we used to…” you nod pensively.

Chaeryeong snickers while Minjeong rolls her eyes.

“Y/n, sweetie. I mean like as in feeling attraction towards him. Any romantic feelings?” she emphasizes. You stop sipping, your mouth parting off the straw habitually.

“What,” you swallow, “makes you ask that?”

They both shrug simultaneously. There’s a certain look in their eyes that you can’t decipher. “You see,” Minjeong starts, “this is the first time in our lives that we’ve seen you act like this towards someone of the opposite sex.”

You think you hear crickets chirping off from far away. In what language would you possibly be able to understand what that means?

Chaeryeong bursts out laughing at the dumbfounded expression on your face before adding, “yeah, and he even calls you by your first name. Did he ask you or did you ask him to do that-”

You clear your throat, “You know what? I think I have to go. Jeno must be waiting for me,” you cough. “Oh dear, look at the time- I need to head out. I’ll contact you guys later!”

You pathetically smile for a split second before gathering your things and dashing off, looking for the nearest exit and private area for you to call jeno to come pick you up.

“Hello? The bill!” Minjeong calls out indignantly.

You curse. “I’ll get it next time,” you yell back before squeezing your eyes shut and pushing past the doors.

While walking away, you round past a corner without paying attention, too distracted trying to contact jeno. You bump into something firm, stumbling back.

You look up, it’s a random man that you’ve never seen and don't want to anymore after seeing how his face changes when he takes in your appearance. You try to smile politely, although you don’t feel like it.

“Excuse me.” Your attempt to sidestep the man fails. He steps in your way purposefully, trying to laugh and smile as if it was a coincidental accident. This has happened to you too many times to count, so it only annoys you even further at this point.

“Hey, are you interested in-"

“Sorry. "I’m busy at the moment.” You don’t even attempt to smile at this point. He frowns, and you try again to pass him.

“Wait-“ he takes your arm and you feel disgust rise through you. “Let me go,” you command. He doesn’t.

“Oh, come on-“

“What do you think you’re doing?” You both turn around, and your heart sinks in relief when you see him. Jeno takes your hand, and you gasp when he pulls you closer to him. “Excuse you, but she’s with me. Thank you and goodbye.”

You can barely stutter anything out as he guides you to a secluded area, sitting you down on a nearby bench. Jeno places his hands on his hips. “Don’t go off like that without letting me know,” he scolds gently. “You scared me.”

You inhale sharply, avoiding his gaze. “A-alright.”

He raises an eyebrow at your reaction but his next words get interrupted by a call on his phone, and he turns around to answer.

You take this chance to place your hand softly on your chest, right above where your heart was. Your heart that was racing.

❀

This is the first time you’ve gone to a party with jeno. A formal one, but it’s still a party nevertheless.

You already spilled all the details to jeno in the car, informing him on what these ‘parties’ were really for. It was for those old snotty rich people to either set up their kids together or gossip to gain information and get an upper hand for their businesses. Essentially- a damn waste of your time. But as your father once said, any way to boost your reputation and public standing is good enough.

He nods, soaking in all your words. You take his hand and squeeze it gently. “Sorry, Jen,” and the nickname makes his chest tighten, “but it’s going to be a whole lot more boring than my father’s meetings.”

❀

Turns out that you’re very right.

Jeno spends most of his time people-watching. Of course, he was still guarding you, his eyes would flick over towards you occasionally, but there’s wasn’t much to see when 99% the time you had a fake smile on your face. Yes, the business-friendly one that most people wouldn’t catch, but jeno has seen it enough times to know what was a real or a fake smile from you.

He can easily describe the way your eyes crinkle and your mouth splits into a wide grin- he swears your dark orbs sparkle every time. But that wasn’t the kind of smile you wore now.

Jeno politely declines an offer for a glass of champagne for the 10th time- he doesn’t dare drink on the job. He looks over to where you are, and immediately his eyes capture the picture of you by the bar, drink placed next to you as you stare up at whatever stupid show is on the widescreen tv, the colors flashing back down onto your skin.

His gaze never breaks until he sees an unfamiliar man slide next to you. His bodyguard instincts go off but you don’t seem to notice the man and he doesn’t do anything to interact with you. Jeno hesitates, it wasn’t his duty to cut in whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted. He watches you talk for a couple of minutes, not paying too much attention.

He sighs, about to turn away when he catches a flash of something in the man’s hand, reflected off from the tv screen’s lights- the hand that’s moving away from your glass.

Well, shit. You’re completely clueless, having looked in the opposite direction of that man and therefore didn’t see anything suspicious of the sort. Immediately, jeno gets up from his spot leaning against the wall, making his way over to you. In the process, he encounters at least five groups of people that get in his way and prevent his path towards you.

Puffing a breath of frustration, you’ve moved to another part of the room with the glass in your hand by the time he gets over to the bar, seemingly very deep in conversation with a few important-looking people judging by their outfits.

Jeno’s sweating nervous sweat in his suit and he absolutely hates it. Every single time you raise the glass to your lips only to bring it back down because you have something important to contribute to the conversation, he feels like a piece of him has shriveled up and died.

It’s not as simple as it seems. More specifically, it’s just not his right to jump in whoever he wants. It’s rude etiquette and one of the first things he’s ever learned at his training school. Yes, there’s the whole you could die shit, and yes that’s a huge deal. But for some reason, all his instructors also made it a huge fucking deal not to interfere in business talk. Because for some ridiculous reason jeno will never get, rich people can’t stand it when “lower class” people interrupt them. And it makes jeno utterly furious when he just wants to walk over to you and rip that cursed drink out of your delicate, manicured hands.

He waits for a good moment. Any moment. He also forgets how popular you are. Jeno doesn’t want to admit it but it certainly irks him to see so many guys confidently walk up to you as if they think they can even get close to receiving your number. Except, jeno also feels a gratifying amount of satisfaction seeing the look of rejection on their faces just mere seconds later.

Jeno wants to go to you. He also wants to find the dumbass who spiked your drink in the first place, but the fear that you’ll take a sip the second he looks away overpowers him. It seems like there’s never going to be a moment he can jump in, and he contemplates just interrupting your conversation. What would the consequences be?

The split second you turn away from those dumb entrepreneurs or whoever jeno doesn’t care about, to raise that glass to your lips, he practically charges forward, ripping your wrist away and effectively spilling the drink in your hands all over the floor.

Astounded, you look up to see Jeno’s intense stare, breathing heavily. There’s complete silence around you, and luckily only in your proximity did by-passers notice.

Your expression says it all. What the hell?

He clenches his jaw, leaning in. “Spiked,” he mutters. Your eyes widen, and a bazillion thoughts course through your head before you remember where you are.

The people next to you are still just as speechless as you were, and once again you thank your years of practice that have led you to this day.

Your face automatically corrects to your business face and you start laughing, making eye contact with all the bewildered people in front of you. You throw a hand out, pretending to cover your mouth to stifle the laughs.

“It’s my father. Apparently, he gave directions to make sure I didn’t drink tonight.” You smile apologetically to the servants cleaning up the mess.

“I have an important meeting tomorrow,” you add, and the people begin laughing nervously and in relief. “-you know my father,” you quip and the laughter after that seems more relaxed. Crisis averted, you internally pat yourself on the back.

Most of the drink is already spilled all over the ground, but just to seal the deal you smile reassuringly to everyone nearby again before just completely trashing it, dropping the entire glass and all in the trash can without a second thought.

❀

The rest of the night goes by quickly- mainly since you ask jeno to take you home asap, and he quickly obliges. When he drives off, he shifts his gaze over to you. He can’t read the expression on your face as you stare straight ahead at the road.

“Are you okay?”

You exhale, looking at jeno. “Honestly? I have no idea.” A beat passes before you speak up again.

“But thank you for saving my life, again.”

Jeno swallows. He’s familiar with this. You’re doing it. Deflecting.

The sound of your hand slamming against the side of the car door almost makes him jump. He looks at you, concerned. There’s a determined expression he sees on your face, one he hasn’t seen often- if not at all.

“I’m not doing this anymore.”

He almost has a heart attack the moment you say that. “What-“

“I’m done being scared. I’m done pretending I’m okay and that nobody is trying to kill me, and I’m done doing nothing about it.”

You press your lips together. “Jeno,” you state firmly. The car rolls to a slow at the stop sign. “Did you happen to see who it was?”

He bites his lip, almost ashamed. “No. It was a man. Dark styled hair, gray suit. All I got was his backside, I’m sorry y/n.”

“No,” you shake your head. “That’s good. That’s better than nothing. But,” you fidget, wanting to curl up into a ball, “Why would anyone try to do this to me?”

Jeno tilts his head, “Most likely it’s someone trying to get to your father through you. Don’t worry, we’ll report it and find whoever’s behind it if there’s one at all.”

“Right.” Your head falls against the window with a thud. “This is annoying.” Jeno and you share a look, a grin coming up on both of your faces.

“Well, all I can say is that I’m impressed by your cover-up. It’s just like you were a professional actress in a movie. You handled that very well,” he speaks up.

You feel heat creeping up the back of your neck, and you clear your throat. “Thanks,” you mutter. Jeno cocks his head. This isn’t the first time you’ve reacted like this.

He calls your name, and your head shoots up. “yeah?”

“Do you always get this flustered when I compliment you?”

You scoff exaggeratedly, looking anywhere but at jeno’s face. “Yeah, right.” You cringe, your sudden voice crack really did you dirty.

Jeno bites the inside of his cheek to suppress the smile and laughter that so desperately want to bubble out of him.

❀

This is bad. This is very bad.

It seems as if jeno is taking advantage of this newfound weakness against you, and you do not appreciate it one bit. You enjoyed holding the power over him, but now that he can make you become the sweatiest, stuttering mess in the room when you were specifically trained to not do that since you were (basically) born, it makes you wonder if you took it for granted.

“You look pretty today.”

“Your hair smells so nice.”

The one time he called you princess you swear you almost fainted.

And the worst part is?

You have no clue why this occurs. Your body simply reacts without thinking. It makes you want to pull your hair out and keeps you up all fucking night long.

Jeno’s cocky smirk shows up in your nightmares or in reality, dreams.

“Hey, y/n,” he asks one day. You hum in response. “Who’s that one friend of yours that works here?”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Chaeryeong?”

If you would have bothered to look up, you would have seen the cockiest and most mischievous smile on jeno’s face. “Right, that one. I just thought she was pretty,” he states casually, preparing for your reaction.

Your pen falls flat on the table. Your eyebrow twitches. Three, four, five seconds pass.

“What?” You ask in the quietest, calmest voice Jeno has ever heard since he’s met you.

Was it just him or did the temperature in the room drop three degrees?

He looks so innocent you don’t know if you want to punch him or hug him as a five-year-old would do to a teddy bear. “Hm? I just said she was pretty, that’s all. Right? I mean, she’s your friend.”

“Yeah, right…” you reply, distracted. Jeno counts five seconds, pretending to walk off a little way.

You let out a huge scoff, suddenly scribbling furiously in your notebook like you did the first week you met jeno.

“…are you okay, y/n?”

“Perfectly fine,” you respond with gritted teeth. You weren’t bothered at all. You didn’t care about jeno at all. No, none. Nothing. You don’t care about the fact that jeno and chaeryeong would look so good together and no, you don’t fucking care at all.

You hear small snickers off to the side, and you glare furiously at jeno before he quiets down.

It’s not until you wake up in the middle of the night at 2 am with a horrible pillow head that you realize it.

That fucker’s been doing it on purpose.

Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton, name it and Jeno has seen you wear it before. You undoubtedly possessed one of the most extravagant wardrobes with pieces from famous designers all over the world. Decorated with expensive, rare crystals and accessories that probably cost more than jeno’s life and worn all on you like it was nothing.

But it was never like this.

No one can deny your beauty, radiating from every part of you. It’s always been there, only today the clothes you wear make it even more noticeable. Your bold, sleek (and quite revealing) dress paired with sharp high heels. The first thing that catches jeno’s eye is your hair, styled up high so delicately that makes him think it must’ve taken at least 3 hours.

They all make a huge dent in Jeno’s shield.

The whole day he was told that you were busy, and now he suddenly understands why, gulping. “W-where exactly are we going again?”

You smirk, pretending to act innocent although nearly the whole room stares at you in shock. “A cocktail party. I have to meet a potential partner.”

Jeno’s too dumbstruck to ask you what kind of partner (and he later regrets it.)

Alright, so maybe the idea popped in your head soon after your father informed you that a potential business partner was attending the party later today. It gave you an excuse to get dolled up- who doesn’t like to do that every once in a while? Besides, there was no way you would pass up an opportunity to catch jeno off guard.

❀

This strange, foreign feeling that derives from the bottom of his stomach and rises up his throat makes him sick. It forces jeno to want to punch a wall or anyone nearby, and he almost obliges. More than once, the wine glass in his delicate hand almost shatters and he doesn’t drink. Jeno hasn’t, and he most certainly will not, but he’ll accept anything to just ground him, ground him before he does something he’ll definitely regret.

Bodyguards weren’t allowed in private rooms. Jeno can only stand outside the door, pacing back and forth as he tries to identify what this horrid sensation is. The only thing that reaches his ears is the sound of your laughter. Pressing his ear against the door in an attempt to eavesdrop (he was that desperate apparently), produced no results when the only noise was your soft murmurs muffled by the door. Your giggles were ones that he got to hear, not whoever this “potential partner” of yours should even deserve.

It just irks him. That’s it. His worst fears come to light when he recalls this afternoon. You look ready to kill in that attire of yours, and your mention of a partner.

There’s no way…

marriage?

The glass in his hand cracks and it immediately breaks his stupor. He awkwardly places it down before he does any more damage. Anything, jeno does anything ranging from squats to lunges to distract his wild mind. Until finally, the door opens and in a split second, he’s back to his formal self. One man walks out, then another, and finally one last one who waits for you to shake your hand politely before bowing and heading off with the others.

He tries, hard, to pretend he’s unbothered, but his eyes flicking back between you and the leaving men reveal his true intentions. Still smiling, you sigh contently before greeting your bodyguard.

“How,” his voice is gruff and scratchy from not having used it for a while, and he swears your smile grows just the teeniest amount, “how was it?”

You start walking at a casual pace, dress flowing behind you as jeno deftly avoids stepping on it while following. You could get used to this.

“Good.” Suddenly, you turn around to face him. Taking a step closer to jeno creates a ripple effect as he takes a step back, and another one, and another until shit- the wall’s there.

You search jeno’s eyes, unwavering no matter how close your body gets to his. You’re much taller with those heels, jeno notes as he avoids eye contact.

Keeping a distance you deem appropriate between your bodies, you lean the slightest in, and jeno gets a whiff of your sweet perfume- it’s almost sickening as he pleads for his eyes to stay open. Jeno prays that someone walks past the corridor so you’ll step back, give the man some room to breathe, but it seems that he’s out of luck.

Your voice is so full of fake concern, even he can see through it.

“Are you alright?” you look at him from under your eyelashes. His nod is almost indiscernible as you lean in closer, eyebrows furrowed.

“Sure?”

He chokes out a ‘yes,’ and you finally take it, stepping away. You pretend you don’t see his sigh of relief and give him a couple of breather seconds.

“So,” he finally gets out, “who was that?”

You feel giddy. Exiting the party into the chilly night, you shiver before shooting him a look. “No one important. Why? Are you jealous?”

Jeno actually scoffs at that, shoving his hands in his suit pockets. “Yeah, right. I don’t care at all who- but uh, if it’s really a mar-“

You continue walking, allowing the smile to break fully on your face. “It was just a potential business partner for our upcoming exhibition. No need to get jealous, Jen.” He stops walking at that. You can hear the lack of footsteps and turn around, crossing arms to keep in the heat. That’s when jeno notices. His eyes rake over you, and suddenly, the cold doesn’t bother you. Jeno sniffs, looking away as he grumbles, “Then there was no need to wear all that..”

A puff of air leaves your mouth as you laugh, visible in the frosty air. You open your mouth to respond but your lips part without any sound leaving. The feeling of jeno wrapping his suit jacket around you has your blood-chilling even more if that was possible.

“Come on, let’s go home, y/n.” When he receives no response, he turns to find you as still as a statue, staring off into the distance. He squints. Are you blushing?

His hand waving in front of your eyes allows you to unfreeze, jeno’s concerned face coming into focus. “Why is your face red?”

“What?” You jolt, “N-no it isn’t,” you lie, although you quickly start hitting your cheeks as if it would magically will them to stop.

“You know doing that is only going to make it worse,” he remarks, amused.

“Stop being a smartass and drive me home, will you?”

He salutes jokingly. “Anything for the missus,” and you push his shoulder playfully.

❀

It’s nearing the Christmas season. For you to get into the spirit, there’s only one thing that you do every year. An unbreakable rule, a small self pat on the back for all the hard work you’ve done this year.

Of course, it’s splurging-

on yourself.

Jeno rolls his eyes at the sight of you. You couldn’t decide between an orange Hermes bag or a Gucci handbag, so you weigh the two options in front of him, frowning. Both ridiculously expensive that he doesn’t bother looking at them.

“Which one looks better on me?”

“Both.”

You pout, “Come on, I’ve been switching back and forth for two hours now.” You continue, “the orange looks better with my-“

Two hours too many, his eyebrow twitches as he tunes out the rest of your words. Puffing out a breath of exasperation, he pinches his nose ridge. “You look the prettiest, alright? So don’t go asking me anymore because either doesn’t compare to you…” he trails off in frustrated mutters while pinching his nose bridge.

You fall silent.

❀

The gift is held out, a dainty box with a glittering silver bow wrapped around it. While jeno was answering a call, you quickly ran off to the designated store that had been in your sights since the moment you arrived at the shopping centre. Having brought proper disguise to wear this time, you felt safe enough entering without him.

Jeno’s eyes widen in surprise. “What’s this?”

You shrug. “Just something for coming along with me today,” and before he can say anything, you swiftly intercept, “I know you’re forced to since it’s your job, but really.” You glance down at the ground in embarrassment. “It’s a thank you gift, so I won’t allow you to return it.”

He holds the box in his hand, admiring the packaging. Throat dry, he swallows before opening it.

A pristine silver watch presents itself to him, almost mockingly- something he could never afford. Reading the brand, he grasps a rough estimate of the cost, and honestly, jeno can’t expect less from you. It’s beautiful, yes, and he’s been needing a new one for a while now, but…

“Y/n, you know I-“

You raise a hand out to effectively stop him. “None of that. I won’t have any of it.”

He presses his lips together, examining the watch once more as it ticks silently, the sleek finish gleaming against the streetlights. “Okay then,” his voice floats over to you softly, “thank you, y/n.”

“I owe my life to you-”

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s my duty, and… I never want to see you hurt.”

You nod, replying with a tender, “I know.”

And with that, you quickly bid him goodnight with a pacing heart.

❀

Your father calls you early in the morning to his office. You’re greeted by his stern expression, a usual that you’ve come to expect. But what you don’t expect is to see jeno sitting across from you, akin to the first day you met him. The look on jeno’s face makes you stop in your tracks. His hands rest on his knees, hands clasped firmly together as his eyes stare at the floor and the floor only- the unreadable expression makes you frown unconsciously.

Your father calls out your name, and you bow with your gaze still focused on jeno.

“Why… why did you call for me?”

The CEO lets out a long, heaving sigh. “I’ve been thinking. After I found out about your spiked drink at the party three weeks ago, a suggestion was made that we obtain a proper squad -a team of bodyguards- to protect you. Lee Jeno is a fine man,” he pauses to glance at the unmoving silhouette, “but it seems that more protective measures need to be taken.”

You get the underlying message. Everyone knows, Jeno doesn’t work with others. That means replacing- you fucking hate the word- him with a whole squad just to watch over you all the time.

You tense. “What are you implying about Jeno? Are you saying that he can’t protect me? Father, that’s completely absurd. He has been trained-“

“You know very well that’s not what I have said.”

You bite your lip. “And therefore? Jeno has been protecting me since day one, and he will continue to. I allowed you to hire me bodyguard, how much more do you want from me?“ your eyes flicker to jeno. “I put my faith in you to trust Jeno wholeheartedly and have done so. Don’t tell me false lies without thinking of your daughter.”

At that, Jeno is stunned. For once, he looks at your asserted figure, unable to move until you call out his name, instructing him to follow you out of the room. Jeno follows you silently as you cross the hallway into an empty staff room. He patiently waits for you to speak up.

There’s so much you want to say, and no words to put it into effect. You turn around, and he automatically notices the storm brewing in your eyes. That conflicted look makes him want to bury you in his arms. He does.

The wind is knocked out of you, body freezing in his warm embrace. Eventually, your arms come to wrap around his waist. Your head falls to lay on his shoulder, and it feels way too natural to make sense. “Jeno…”

“Y/n.”

“You’re not going. I’m not letting you.” You pull back, letting him see the sincerity in your eyes, and he does, adam’s apple bobbing slightly. Then a certain thought strikes your head, and you quickly release him, embarrassed.

“Unless- you, unless you want to stop being my bodyguard.”

He frowns. “I never said that,” he quirks an eyebrow, and you sigh in relief. He places a hand on your shoulder and you meet his gaze. “Don’t worry y/n, I’ll never leave your side.”

The evident happiness shown in your eyes is enough to make him happy too. Perhaps it’s the new environment you’re placed in or the situation that just occurred, but it’s almost as if a filter was placed over jeno’s eyes when he looks at you. His eyes can follow your every action and he becomes conscious of your remaining warmth that came from being pressed against him. Your outfit, hairstyle, scent, all feel so fresh to him. He wants to shake it off- it’s somewhat overwhelming.

After seeing you stand up for him, stand up against your father, it’s like a switch flipped and there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it.

❀

The long-awaited holiday of the year is coming up, and Jeno soon realized the extent to which he desperately needs to buy gifts. Desperately so, or else his friends would beat him up. Not that they could or he would let them, but jeno’s generally known in the friend group for lagging behind due to his work schedule, and he’s determined to make a difference this year. Jeno doesn’t have much time off- barely any at all, but the one day he does, a sense of loneliness washes over him. The one day he convinces himself to go out to buy presents, the reluctance of being alone stops him and before he knows it, his phone is dialing a number- your name flashing on the screen.

The rush of delight that fills him when you almost immediately agree unnerves him. Before hanging up, jeno quickly reminds you to cover your identity- mask up, wear a hat, do whatever- and you reluctantly comply. You don’t question who or what he’s buying gifts for, you just tag along.

At the crowded shopping plaza, the festive cheer fills the air, and finally, it sets in. Jeno grabs your hand instinctively as you weave through the crowd. You go through a total of six stores until jeno feels satisfied with all his gifts. You helped him pick out an ugly sweater and he swore he’s never laughed harder than at your expressions of surprise and confusion from all the bizarre patterns. "Why do people like to wear these... kinds of clothes?" you wonder out loud, and he bursts out laughing.

Before you leave, there seems to be a band playing celebratory music in the center of the plaza, and you can’t help but drag jeno across to the growing crowd that listens. Finding a good spot near the back of the crowd just for safety measures, you and jeno stand there. He silently watches you bounce along to the music, body swaying back and forth as you listen in glee. Chuckling, he almost glances away until he hears your voice. A strange man stands to the left of you, leaving over to ask you a seemingly harmless question. It really shouldn’t bother Jeno, but an unsettled feeling unnerves him as you answer casually, quiet enough he can’t hear what you said. Still, he stays silent.

That’s when he catches the man’s hand and glint reflecting across the light, the distance between his knife and you decreasing. Instinctively, Jeno lunges forward and grabs your arm to pull you to him quickly as he tries to get between the two of you. It all happens in a split second- in one moment he’s wide-eyed and springing forward and the next he’s gripping onto you tightly, almost shaking your body as he questions you. For a minute he thinks you’re fine, your wide and flustered eyes staring back at him as you hold just as tight onto his tensed arms.

Then he follows your eyes, your very eyes that trail down to your side, and his blood runs cold. He sees the blooming patch of red, and immediately he whips around to find the damned culprit but there’s no one. You stumble, and that’s when Jeno begins to panic, no longer caring as he yells out to the people around you to call for an ambulance.

The last thing you remember before blacking out was jeno’s eyes shining with alarm and distress as he calls out your name.

❀

This may be the first time Jeno’s completely out of his senses. His leg bounces in front of him as he clasps his hands together, praying that you’re okay. The hospital is mainly quiet, the noise dying down after the couple of hours that have passed since you were admitted. Once the sound of footsteps approaches him, he jumps up to see the doctor, waiting with a neutral expression.

You’re going to be okay. You’re alive and well. It was just the situation and sight of blood that must’ve caused you so much shock that you fainted. Fortunately, you were pulled away by jeno enough so that the knife wasn’t able to impale you- jeno nearly gags- but only leave a long scratch that ran across your side. It was enough to keep you in the hospital for a set amount of days, but nothing that would impair you. Jeno isn’t allowed to see you yet, and he goes to testify to the police and your father. It pains him to describe the scene in detail- the sickening man who did that to you, but he finishes one way or another. Jeno knows it’s deeper than this, there’s more to this and he’s had a feeling for a while. All he’s told is that your father is keeping the situation quiet in order not to arouse the public media (although it obviously has) and that a private investigation surrounding the attempted murders is ongoing. Jeno’s left to sit in the cold hospital waiting room, alone with his thoughts and feelings.

He feels the guilt breaking him- he’s the one who made the promise and he couldn’t protect you.

The first time he saw you, his eyes almost well up with tears. No matter how much you’ve been through, how much you’ve suffered- you’re always so strong. Your gentle smile and tired eyes tear his heart even further. Jeno states your name quietly, trudging closer. You pat next to you, implying for him to come closer. Where does he even start?

“I’m so sorry. It was all my fault. If only I had-“

“Why are you apologizing?” You stare at him with an incredulous look, and he blinks.

“What do you mean why? You got stabbed, y/n. I wasn’t fast enough so you got hurt and now you’re here, in the hospital.”

“Are you serious? Or is this some kind of joke?”

Jeno can’t believe it. Was it the medication making you loopy? “You’re hurt. I couldn’t even do my job properly and he was right there-,” he clenches his fists and lowers his face in regret.

Your warm hand placed on top of his gets him to shut up. He looks up and sees your tiny smile, hidden with a secret emotion he can’t discern. “Jeno,” you say.

“Stop looking at this,” you gesture to your wound, “and start looking at this.” You open your arms wide, showing you in all your glory- including the dumb hospital gown and iv drip attached to your arm. Your eyes soften. “You saved my life, and I’m only here because of you. Think of how much worse it could have been,” you press and he doesn’t say anymore or want to imagine anything more.

“Okay, y/n. Just please forgive me for breaking your trust. You put your faith in me and-

You roll your eyes stubbornly. “I forgive you, now please stop with that depressing talk. I’m completely fine and honestly more irritated at the fact that I have to stay here confined while everyone gets to do exciting stuff.”

“Chaos happening at the office because of your almost death isn’t exciting- at least, I don’t find it to be,” he jokes, finally feeling the mood lighten. You scoff.

Your father spending most of the time conferring with the police and media sources instead of visiting you at least once could mean more or less to you at this point.

He scoots his chair closer to your hospital bed. “You’re not… bothered by him? It’s like your own father and only family doesn’t even care for your safety, just the public’s opinion on the company.”

You manage a tiny shrug in order not to mess with your stitches. “That’s just how it is when your father is the CEO of the largest shareholding company in the country.” You look down to fiddle with your fingers. “Besides, I don’t know what I’d do if he did care.”

That’s when Jeno realizes how alone you are. You have friends but they have their own appointments. You have family but they never visit. Jeno resolves to make up for all of the absences in your life.

❀

You’re surprised by how much Jeno stops by and keeps you company at the hospital. Without fail, he brings snacks or random stories every visit. He’s not officially on duty since you’re restricted to the hospital, but he still tells you the happenings at the office, or which two workers have been revealed to be secretly dating (and every time you clap your hands together and yell “I knew it!”), or sweet messages from co-workers that aren’t able to visit you in person. And, the update on the case. They got the guy who stabbed you- the same one who tried to poison you that one night, and it makes Jeno feel a little better. For now, the motive is just trying to get to the CEO by using you and he hopes the police stick with it.

“You know,” you speak up one afternoon, “you don’t have to be here. This is the perfect opportunity for you to get a break from being my bodyguard and seeing me 24/7.” The look Jeno sends you in response effectively shuts you up.

On the days you force him not to come in or he’s reached the maximum limit of visiting you for the week- stupid, he knows- he sends you messages that leave a smile on your face and your heart fluttering.

❀

Well, this a certainly a predicament you would have never thought to find yourself in. Jeno’s foot taps the floor in a random beat as he recounts the drama that occurred at the office today. Your eyes keep slipping towards the simple clock on the wall, and you feel your palms grow increasingly clammy. Jeno, of course, takes note of this. You always listen intently to his stories, so the one time he feels the absence of your gaze on him, he knows something is wrong.

“What is it?”

You almost jump. “Huh?”

He purses his lips together, “Something’s bothering you.” Internally, you debate the consequences of revealing the issue. Would you regret this? And then you remember you have almost been murdered multiple times. This one thing couldn’t possibly kill you, right?

You take a deep breath. “The nurse said that today, I could finally change into my normal clothes and you know how much I hate wearing this stupid hospital gown.” You bite your lips and jeno’s eyes subconsciously follow the action. “But it’s four o’clock and she still hasn’t come in to help me so… couldyoupossiblyhelpmetakethisoff?”

As if realizing what you just said out loud, you shoot your gaze to the nearby window in the room, heat filling your body. Silence permeates the room and you so desperately wish you could reverse time and keep your damn mouth shut. Why, of all times, do most hospital gowns not have zippers, and the one you’re currently wearing does?

“You know what, forget-“

“Okay.”

You speak at the same time. You whip towards him. His ears are flushed red as he avoids your gaze awkwardly.

“I-I won’t look, I’ll-“

You blink, a sudden feeling of helplessness rising within. “I know. I can’t reach it because of my stitches so can- can you just unzip the…”

“Y-yeah, I got it.”

You hold your breath as he approaches you, fingertips delicately placed near the top of your back. His hands hesitate before softly reaching for the zipper, pulling down slowly. You can feel the coldness of his fingers seep into your back but you grit your teeth and mention nothing, heart pounding.

“I promise I’m not looking anywhere like that,” he mutters while zipping it down further. You reassure him that it’s fine before shivering when his cold fingers come in contact with your bare shoulder to help take the gown off. There’s this sudden urge to turn around to face him, but it’s practically impossible in your current state, so you close your eyes instead and focus on your breathing. He stills for a second, but his eyes can’t help but slowly get pulled into your wound now in plain view, and he swallows. Luckily, most of your body is covered still by the gown, but he still sees the broad amount of smooth skin that wasn’t attacked or worked on.

Jeno whispers a soft, “I’m done.”

The door clicks open noisily and your heads both whip towards the source of the sound. A nurse stands there, one hand on the clipboard and another still on the door handle, observing the scene.

“It’s not-“

“I wasn’t doing anything, I…“ he splutters.

Excuses and explanations fill the air until eventually Jeno feels it’s best to leave and he practically dashes out of the room. You can only sit there, astounded.

The nurse clears her throat, “Well then, I guess I’ll finish helping you change.” You nod wordlessly.

“Is he your boyfriend?”

You jump and it stretches your stitches, causing a wince to erupt out of you as the nurse calms you. “Oh my, I didn’t mean to startle-“

“It’s fine,” you mumble distractedly, apparently more preoccupied with the aforementioned thought. Does jeno look like your boyfriend? Has the media noticed and misunderstood? Was there even something to misunderstand about?

❀

December 25. AKA, Christmas Day.

You receive the green light from the doctors to go home. After expressing your uttermost gratitude to the doctors and nurses that took care of you, you feel the rising excitement at the prospect of finally returning home. You get to see your grandmother who wasn’t able to visit with duties at your penthouse and all your friends consumed by work.

And there was one other person. The one that you wanted to see the most, but you sent him home. It was Christmas- there was absolutely no way you would make him work, forced to stay next to you the whole day. (although, he wouldn’t be complaining, and neither would you.) You remember commanding him to stay home the night before, Christmas Eve, and celebrate with whoever he wanted. No matter how pleased you were when he protested, you make him promise to not worry about you and enjoy the day off.

“It’s Christmas, Jen.”

“Yes, but…”

“Go home and stop worrying so much- at least for one day, okay?” Your thumb softly smooths out his furrowed brow. “For me?”

Reluctantly, he responds, “Fine. As long as you promise to text me tomorrow night.”

You beam. “Of course, I promise.”

On the other side of town, Jeno checks his phone anxiously. He swears his anxiety (or possible separation issues?) has never been this bad.

“Dude, how many times are you gonna check your phone?” Haechan snorts, jumping over the couch to plop down next to him. “Every time it goes off you’re scrambling for it like you’re in the Hunger Games or whatever.” He slides even closer, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, and jeno grimaces.

“Could it be," he taps his chin cheekily, "your secret girlfriend?”

When jeno’s ears turn red and he doesn’t respond, haechan’s eyes grow wide, contrary to Jen’s belief. “No way, is it actually? I was just joking but-“

“Leave him alone,” Mark shakes his head helplessly. “It's probably his work- you know he’s always on call. Give him a break,” mark finishes while leaving haechan to splutter and jeno to heave a sigh of relief.

Although jeno agrees with you, it was nice to finally see his friends and have a day off while celebrating Christmas, he can’t help but wonder what you’re up to. How are you? Are you home now? Are you alone- who’s celebrating with you? Is he the only one thinking this much about you?

Hours later, jeno finally returns home before midnight. His excuse to his friends? He had to wake up early tomorrow to work. Lame, yes, but he needed to see you. He exhales, finally in solitude after spending the whole day with his rowdy friends. Throwing his jacket on the couch, he lays on the bed before taking out his phone.

His stomach flips- two unread messages from you.

[11:38 pm] you: Hey jen

[11:38 pm] you: How was your Christmas?

[11:40 pm] jeno: it was good!

He sighs while typing out a response, before shaking his head and backspacing to write another.

[11:42 pm] jeno: are you free

[11:42 pm] you: Right now?

[11:42 pm] jeno: uh

[11:43 pm] jeno: yeah

If any bystander were to see the scene in front of them, they would almost believe it was a clip playing from a k-drama. Jeno smiles shyly, giggling at his phone as if he was a teenager talking to their crush.

[11:46 pm] you: Yeah, I’m free ❤️

Jeno gasps audibly, placing a hand on his chest as he lights up like a little child. No way, you sent a heart?

[11:46 pm] you: Sorry!

[11:46 pm] you: That was a typo…

He quite visibly deflates at your text. He presses his lips together in a thin line while his fingers briskly move across the screen.

[11:47 pm] jeno: then ill see you outside your place in 5 min?

[11:48 pm] you: Sure ❤️

Beaming at your next message, he throws his phone haphazardly somewhere while getting ready as fast as possible, scrambling all over his apartment.

[11:48 pm] you: That wasn’t an accident this time ;)

His breath floats away from him in the cold air, coming out in visible puffs while he runs towards your apartment building. It’s never once felt that long of a walk with you, but now it seems as if it stretched on for miles.

His legs come to a stop once he sees your figure just feet away. It’s far enough that you could barely shout to each other, but enough to see the expression on your faces. A wide split grin, eye-smiles, sparkling pupils, cheeks protruding so much it hurts.

It’s been a while. It’s taken a while, too. Jeno finally sees you. He finally sees your rarity-the one lone, twinkling star in the sky- and he never wants to lose it. The time it’s taken to build up the courage over fear is uncertain, but the sight of you in a matching set of purple pajamas with cute designs printed all over and is that his suit jacket that you’re wearing? Either way, he’s certain he can’t hold it back anymore (and probably couldn’t for much longer).

“I don’t think I can run right now,” you call out, and he laughs from his spot. Jeno looks on as you hold your arms open wide, so welcomingly, and he runs.

Right as he reaches you, he purposefully slows to embrace you in a gentle hug without hurting you.

“Welcome back, y/n,” he murmurs into your hair. You squeeze tighter, inhaling his comforting scent. Pulling back after a couple of moments, jeno looks down at your choice of outfits. “Wow,” he breathes, “you look beautiful.”

You raise an eyebrow. “In my pajamas?” He nods. “Of course.”

You look away, face burning, but the white powdery substance falling onto your face grabs your attention. Your head shoots up, as you look on delightedly. “Jeno! Look!”

He can only stare at you admiring the snowfall with a red nose and bright, twinkling eyes. You glance towards him, catching him in the middle of staring at you. You call his name out. Jeno bites his lip, taking one of your hands. Your face turns to one of confusion at the sudden change of atmosphere.

“Y/n.”

“Yeah?” He pulls you closer, taking in a deep breath before looking into your eyes.

“You mean a lot to me. Like, a whole fucking lot.”

Your eyes widen. Alarmed at the sudden confession, you bring your two cold hands up to hold his face, searching his eyes with a question hidden on your tongue.

On impulse, jeno leans in, capturing your lips in a kiss. At first, you can’t move, only noting the warm and foreign sensation on your lips. Then it hits you.

Why aren’t you pushing him away? …why doesn’t it feel wrong?

At the lack of a response, jeno pulls back. You stare at each other for a second before he opens his mouth to say something, and you cut him off.

“Kiss me again,” you command, and he enthusiastically does. His arms wrap around you as you grip the sides of his jacket in your cold fingers, allowing warmth to envelop you both inside and out. The taste of his lips on yours becomes addicting, and you force yourself to stop.

Breaking part, you share bashful smiles. Jeno swallows.

“Merry Christmas, y/n. I didn’t really think about getting you a gift but….” he trails off.

You giggle, “Merry Christmas, and me neither.” You beam at each other, the unspoken feelings shared between you two.

“How do you feel?” Jeno asks, bringing you close to him as he admires the tiny snowflakes resting on your eyelashes.

Although it’s freezing outside, and there’s a big fat chance you could get caught by paparazzi right now, you could care less. You can’t help but reply with a tiny smile,

“i think i’m okay right now.”

p.s. there will be an epilogue released jan 28 ;))

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