wendyswonderingmind

[wendyswonderingmind]

True Colors

What are true colors? Colors...Red, White, Blue? No that’s basic colors. I’m talking people and true colors. People like to hide behind colors. Hidden agenda’s maybe. How many times have you heard something in someones voice that gave you a reason to think they meant something other than what they were saying? You see it in their facial expression, hear it in their tone, or you can feel it. For a very long time I was a passive person. I chose not to engage in conflict. I let people run over me, not only with words, but with their actions. Two years ago, I changed my whole life. Not all at once, but eventually over time, I’ve learned a lot about myself and those I chose to keep in my life. I’ve learned more about those who I hadn’t allowed to continue to be a part of my life. I  learned how easy I could be persuaded into doing something by giving someone else the ammo to hand to me. Now that part was a hard lesson to learn. It cost me more than anyone will ever know. It broke me, not only financially, but it broke my spirit. It was during this time that my spirit was broke,I began to see others as to who they were. I went three months with no one but those closest to me knowing where I was. My dad was the only  person from my past life that knew where I was. He had no clue what had happened and I wasn’t about to tell him. I had who I needed at the time. My roommate Stephen, my newest brother NJ, and a few others. Between Stephen and NJ they kept me alive. They knew what had happened. They had warned me. They saw through this evil person, when I could not. But they were there to pick up the pieces that were left of me. I was ashamed, but I wasn’t alone. I thought i was, but i wasn’t. These two guys only knew what I had told them of my past. My previous life as I tend to call it. The old Wendy, not this Wendy. They didn’t judge me. They weren’t the ones who had lived my life.  The old Wendy, who drank daily. The old Wendy whose daily goal was for 5 o’clock to come so she could slam at least a 12pk of Mich Ultra or more. The one who self medicated with alcohol or drugs. Since i’m busting open my monsters and revealing a few more. There it is. I am Wendy and I wasn’t only an alcoholic but at a few times in my life i was also an addict. I am not telling any of this for self pity or glorification. I’m letting out my monsters. Because yes they are real and yes those monsters could have come laughing and haunting me during those times. I chose not to let them. Through all the days of feeling my own self pity over my loss, which wasn’t so much of a loss, I was ashamed of myself. i was ashamed that I had allowed a demon as such to take over mind the way this devil did. He had control that I had given him. You see, I didn’t divulge any of this shame to people who I had called friend, why should i? They didn’t know or want to know what was going on in my life. if they did three months of no calls or texts would have said other wise. Is that correct? I don’t know and to be quite frank I don’t care. You see, I don’t care what others think or feel about me or the situations I put myself in. I learned a lot from that monkey that was on my back and am so glad I did not fall back into my addiction of drinking. I am pretty sure the outcome would have been, well i wouldn’t be writing this. I know i owe no one an explanation. I don’t even owe anyone a smile. But, I feel if everyone wants to know my story or my feelings of why there is no friendship between me and Denise, this is it. Our friendship was strained when I was living in Florida. I am thankful for her and her husband for helping me out of a 16 year battle. One that many of you know of, but I will not discuss as I have a child who is still a minor and lives with her father. What she doesn’t know or doesn’t understand will not come out thru any of my blogs. Or at least ones penned in my name. So if there is a discussion on here, please leave my children out of this. Evidently I was never happy enough while I was in Florida. I was told this many many times after I moved back to Oklahoma. But before moving to Oklahoma, I had moved to Georgia. This was not a move that was welcomed or supported by someone who I wanted approval from. Thanks Denise for all your encouraging words...Wait what were they? echo echo echo....silence....Oh yeah they were it’ wont last, I can’t believe you are moving, it’s too soon. My favorite when KC and I decided that we weren’t ready, I told you so. Then after I was in Oklahoma, every single time I was reminded of how stupid it was for me to ever move to Georgia, and if I hadn’t done that I would still be in florida. So after a while you get tired of the same freaking put downs and what do I do. I start slipping away. You know the old saying if your friends cant say it to you who can? For me this is not true. I don’t need someone to tell me my wrongs, I know them. I need my friends to laugh with me, cry with me, and maybe just sometimes hear me. Guess what?? I don’t have that many friends. You know why because I don’t want any one to ever feel I have burdened them with any of my miseries. And because I don’t need anyone posting innuendos all over there facebook about me, while they are looking for sympathy from others. Well this is my farewell to Denise and a 30 year friendship. Those of you who are mutual friends or family feel free to unfriend me or not. I honestly don’t care either way. But know this I do not want any sympathy or pity. I don’t need it. I’m doing fine over here in my world. And yes it is that my world and I choose what I want others to know about my world. I don’t play the game of making a post about someone so others can wonder. That might have been passive alcoholic Wendy....So year two of new Wendy...She is starting to get this I am woman hear me roar down! 

[wendyswonderingmind]

WJ’s Granola Our Way

 Granola with a twist

During all of this shut-in time during COVID-19, what I like to call letting our government take away our rights has given me time to be thrifty. I’m always looking for new snack ideas, or recipes of favorite store-bought brands, that I can make cheaper. Plus I figure this is the only way I’m going to keep the weight I’ve lost off with J’s Granny trying to feed me three times a day on top of my grazing. Also Granny has a kitchen stocked with ingredients that she has probably purchased every time she had went shopping until we took over the task. We noticed that each grocery list we were given in one week which was 4 lists, had the same products. Half of those products were not being used, so with the guise of the shortage of products, we said they were not in stock. Don’t worry she did not hoard all the toilet paper. Diced tomatoes and chicken noodle soup possibly.  Plus if we can beat her to the kitchen we are trying our best to do all the cooking. We try our best to keep this young woman off her feet and resting. Granny has cracked ribs from a head-on wreck she and J were in just a few weeks ago. But cracked ribs are not going to keep this feisty lady down. Anyway, maybe just the mere entertainment of watching the two of us dance around in the kitchen will help her heal faster. So without further ado here is our take on granola. 

MAKES   5 cups    SERVES   10

PREP TIME:15 minutes

COOKING TIME: 40-45 minutes

INGREDIENTS

1/2 cup  canola oil/coconut oil/ olive oil

1/2 cup maple syrup or honey

1/2 teaspoon  ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 cups old fashioned rolled oats

1 cup nuts of your choice we used peanut pecan and walnut crushed

1 cup dried fruit  raisins or other dried, chopped fruit. we used pineapples and cranberries

1/2 cup shredded coconut

Heat the oven to 300°F and spray a baking sheet with bakers joy Arrange a rack in the middle of the oven and heat to 300°F.

Whisk together the oil, honey or syrup, cinnamon, and salt. Place the oil, honey, cinnamon, and salt in a large bowl and whisk to combine.

Add the oats and nuts and stir to coat. Go ahead and pour the oats and nuts right into the oil mixture — don’t worry if you add a little more oats or nuts — granola is very forgiving. Stir to coat well.

Spread the mixture out onto the prepared baking sheet. If the granola is clumpy, use a spatula to press it into the pan.

 Bake, stirring halfway through, for about 40 minutes total. The granola is ready when golden-brown and the almonds have toasted — it will still feel wet coming out of the oven but will dry as it cools. Place the baking sheet on a wire rack and sprinkle on the fruit. If you want clumps of granola, press and tamp down the granola before it cools, which will help it stick together. Cool completely before storing i

We Baked ours for 30 minutes and I don’t think it was long enough that’s why i added 10 to this recipe. Ovens and times will vary. 

Store in an airtight container. Transfer the cooled granola to an airtight container for long-term storage at room temperature.

[wendyswonderingmind]

WJ’s Cheesy Pretzels *no Yeast

These soft pretzels are just right for snack size pretzels. You can adjust the size to your preference.  Not only are they tasty but they require no yeast to make, which means they're easy and quick! By the time you finish cleaning your mess, they will be done baking. Ours did not make it to the cooling rack. 

Total:25 mins

Prep:10 mins

Cook:15 mins

Yield:16 pretzels (16 servings)

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups flour (all-purpose)

2 teaspoons baking powder or double acting baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon sugar

2 tablespoons margarine (sliced into squares)

1/2 cup/2 ounces cheese (shredded colby jack & italian blend)

2/3 cup milk

1 medium egg (beaten)

1 1/2 teaspoons salt (coarse)

J and I gather all of our ingredients and measure what we need first, this causes so much less confusion for the two of us when we are cooking together. For breads I find it best to make sure you to blend or stir the dry ingredients first to insure the the baking powder is evenly distributed. The baking powder is your rising agent. The best part of baking these delicious pretzels is just having fun. We remade our pretzels a few times and guess what they still turned out the same. Do not over knead your dough. Overworking your dough will push out the gluten, and cause a dry dense interior. 

Combine first 4 ingredients in a medium bowl; cut in margarine with a pastry blender until mixture resembles coarse meal.

Add cheese and milk, stirring until dry ingredients are just moistened.

Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead about 9 times.

Divide dough in half and roll each half into 12x8-inch rectangle.

Cut dough lengthwise into eight 1-inch strips.

Twist each into a pretzel shape; brush with beaten egg and sprinkle with coarse salt.

Place on lightly greased baking sheets and bake at 400 F for 15 minutes or until golden brown.

Cool for a few minutes on wire racks; serve pretzels warm.

For a Dipping Sauce we chose to make Honey Mustard Dipping Sauce

1 tbsp mustard

2 tbsp mayonnaise

`1  tbsp honey

pinch of salt

add more of any ingredient to taste