what-am-i-doing-who-knows

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

BEYOND obsessed with this house in fort worth, texas i mean

okay pretty normal, let’s look at the interior photos—

WHAT THE FUCK

here we see the first example of a pattern that will recur throughout the house, which is that once your eyes adjust to the bonkers dictator chic marble-and-gilded-everything, you notice some pretty egregiously shoddy workmanship. look at how that baseboard intersects with the outlet. look at how the marble… uh, thing on the wall (i was gonna call it a fireplace but it’s not a fireplace, i have no idea what that is) has gaps and weird angles wherever two pieces meet. it’s like they’re trying to recreate versailles on an ikea budget

i… don’t hate the kitchen. i mean, obviously it’s ugly and #toomuch and there was zero effort made to match the very modern appliances and sink to the cabinets, but still, i’m a sucker for a pass-through and a big sink with a window above it.

this ceiling Fucks but the wrinkly, uneven curtains and terrible caulking around the faux-column in the middle anti-Fuck

why did we suddenly completely switch aesthetics. why is there an old TV set into the wall at floor level. why is there a tiny set of doors next to it. why does the fireplace look like an asset ripped from the original dark souls. i feel a sinister presence sucking at my soul the longer i look at this photo

i feel like whoever designed this monstrosity started with the dining room and then once they’d finished it realized they’d blown half their budget on just this one room. it’s so overdecorated that the gaudiness feels intentional, like it’s a statement rather than a side effect of genuine tastelessness. i can applaud that.

here we have the antithesis of the dining room. i don’t know what this room is supposed to be but i hate it. i’m pretty sure everything in this photo literally came from ikea. there is a lack of commitment here and it is rancid

ladies, gentlemen, distinguished colleagues, we have now hit the cornerstone of any great tacky real estate listing: the heart-shaped bathtub! this one gets bonus points for being next to a gilded mirror and surrounded by bright red damask wallpaper. as a bathtub i’d give it a 1/10 because those angles look incredibly uncomfortable, but as a place to shoot my lover through the heart while wearing a gauzy fur-trimmed bathrobe before fleeing with our ill-gotten fortune i’d give it a solid 11/10

here we are with the lack of commitment again. this literally looks like the kitchen in my college dorm but with a weird fringey lamp and some curtains that are absolutely too long for their windows

again, the mix of styles here is just killing me. half damask wallpaper and carved wall panels, half normal-ass bathroom? really? isn’t there anything truly unhinged left in this house? anything truly opulent, decadent, off the chain, extravagant, gaudy—

THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT BAY BEE!!! THAT’S MORE THE FUCK LIKE IT!!! COMMIT! TO! THE! BIT! GO BIG OR GO HOME! IF YOU’RE GONNA STICK A CEILING DOME IN THE FOYER OF YOUR SUBURBAN TEXAS HOUSE IT HAD BETTER BE TWELVE FEET IN DIAMETER AND PAINTED WITH DOZENS OF FLOWERS OR ELSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE??

and finally, to close out the show, a reminder that this entire acid trip of a real estate listing took place in an ordinary, modern single-story house in texas, one with a backyard and utility boxes on the exterior walls and neighbors who may be blissfully unaware that they live mere feet from a yawning pit of madness.

i love tacky real estate listings.

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

I’m not crying, you’re crying — wait nope I’m definitely crying

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

Reblog if ANNUS

Ignore if STUPID

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

“I dedicate this to all the Indigenous kids in the world who want to do art and dance and write stories, we are the original storytellers and we can make it here, as well.” 

Congratulations, Taika Waititi, on a historic win at the Oscars. Thanks for another beautiful film.

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

NASA has released new images of Jupiter, taken by the Juno Spacecraft.

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

This is a lucky image of Mark! If you want your day to rock and not suck then reblog this! Bless others on your dash! :D

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

@markiplier

I’ve been having a bad couple of days, but then this series (especially this part) came to the rescue. Thanks for always cheering me up and making me laugh with stuff like this. :D

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

me whenever i have to introduce myself

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

Important!!

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

me: *happens to stand between multiple light sources and casts two shadows because that’s how shadows work*

my brain, still to this day, every single time:

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

Tom, Tom, Tom. Can you tell us about the Spider Verse?

TOM HOLLAND  in Spider-Man: Far From Home / Travel Vlog - China, 2019

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

“What are your plans for the future?”

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

you know, of all the boycotts that could actually work … boycotting disney’s streaming service seems … plausible … given you can literally stream and/or torrent everything they will ever put up there…FOR FREE

why would yall turn down the free opportunity to fuck over major capitalist corporations who are trying to fuck YOU over?

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

Me an my best friend on our way to see each other

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

LOOK WHAT WE FOUND AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW 🌈🌈🌈

Since starting with our collapsible straws, we have had numerous requests for metal straws, bigger straws and different colours. We took all 3 requests into account and created our very own Rainbow Stainless Steel Straw Set. 

Stainless steel rainbow plated drinking straws are the perfect alternative to plastic straws! These eco-friendly reusable straws not only reduce your plastic footprint, but you get to drink from a shiny rainbow. You can use these stainless steel beauties time and time again.

Our set comes with 1 Standard Straw, 1 Large Straw for Bubble Tea & Smoothies, 1 Bent Straw, a cleaning brush and super cute carrying case! (Also available in Black, Rose Gold & Silver).

Check out the Rainbow Set: HERE

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

The HD versions of this manip crossover. I didn’t watermark it so if this is reposted please credit my instagram Impalababycakes. 💕

[what-am-i-doing-who-knows]

i’m dying that robert downey jr posted this on his official facebook 😂😂😂