whatdoidonowthatimhigh

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

“I feel unspeakably lonely. And I feel - drained. It is a blank state of mind and soul I cannot describe to you as I think it would not make any difference. Also it is a very private feeling I have - that of melting into a perpetual nervous breakdown. I am often questioning myself what I further want to do, who I further wish to be; which parts of me, exactly, are still functioning properly. No answers, darling. At all.”

— Anne Sexton

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

― Anne Sexton, Anne Sexton: A Self-Portrait in Letters

[text ID: I am a collection of dismantled almosts.]

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

Diary, 3.

I can't close my eyes, yet i can't get myself out of the bed.

I can't breathe, it's like a constant flashback.

Drugs don't work on days like this, both legal and not so legal.

Ciggerates don't do anything except sting my eyes. I can't cry either. It's as if my eyes are devoid of moisture.

I feel everything, yet nothing. I can laugh until my stomach hurts without feeling an iota of joy.

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

Diary, 2.

Do you ever feel like shaking a person right down to their core and ask them what is it that moves them?

Or do you ever get so stimulated that you want to put your hand inside your skull and smoothen out every wrinkle and fold?

Has your heart ever been broken to the point that you physically feel it? Not just for a fleeting moment but as a breaking of a bone, the minute your brain so much as goes in the proximity of that memory you physically cringe and it's like a sucker punch all over again.

It's like someone has your pain receptors on their finger tips and they're playing red hands...?

All i can think of is to write the pain away.

Coz it's like screaming in a void until your throat gives out.

It's as if I've been put through the shredder and i can feel every blade and the weight of everything.

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

Diary day one.

I know we've been in an on again off again relationship since more than a decade now. But i had a feeling that this time it's different. That feeling solidified into a cinder block and landed directly on my heart when i saw that photo of you hugging her.

The visual impact of that photo was like a punch straight to the softest part of my stomach, as if i jumped into a freezing river. My heart quite literally stopped for a minute. And the next minute i did the best i could do to protect myself. I unfollowed you. And i did stay away from all your social media accounts. But what do i do about the image that's burned into my eyes. Everytime i close my eyes, that's what I see and then i see red.

But i know, i did my best to love and understand you. I guess we're just not meant to be, but why i can't i breathe since that moment?

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

Go Maddy go Maddy !!!

#you dumb fucking bitch 🥰

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

Crying while smoking one, is a whole other level of hurt. I hope you never have to experience it.

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

Amen to that.

i need to stop watching this fucking show man

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

Bruh naaaah 😂😂😂

lexi adding rue’s breakdown and maddy about to beat cassie’s ass to her play

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

She didn't need to go this hard.

ZENDAYA as RUE In Euphoria | 2x05: Stand Still Like the Hummingbird

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

“Let’s get drunk at midnight, listen to our favorite songs and kiss so much that our lips burn.”

—

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

And I'm running out of love.

Sincerity is Scary // The 1975

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

Villain

Professor

Doctor

Priest

Eccentric artist

I don’t know what to say to this. Just that….I think I’m in love.

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

― Margaret Atwood, You are Happy

[whatdoidonowthatimhigh]

“You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there.”

— Iyanla Vanzant