whatevernonsense
emoclew
~
Believe me, you don't want to read this.~
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I like to think…in another universe, as young adults or even teens… we had a romantic night time date at the carnival in the summer on the coast.
I can picture us laughing with icecream and dancing under the lights. Stealing eachothers cotton candy and winning eachother prizes.
We sing some classics together and snuggle up on a bench to smoke one…
I hate it here…
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Finally, I see you wanting to move in ways that bring you closer to yourself. Not only are you starting to follow me and try to be able to be close to me again, but you are seeing what you need to heal. You’re looking at your wounds and realizing how long it’s been since you even admitted they were there.
You are such an amazing person. So rare of a recipe to become who you are. As if you and I were perfectly crafted for one another. Even if fate didn’t line up very well, we have remained close and constant, always challenging each other to become better for ourselves.
As difficult as it is to be unable to hold you in the physical, I am so grateful to have met you and be loved by you. This love is supernatural, unconditional, and surpasses anything explicable in terms of human emotions.
To see you the way I see you is wonderful enough, now to watch you finally start to step into your divinity is just a magical experience. Starting to accept your role in my life. Bringing me closer in a healthy way. Looking at yourself in a healthy way.
Don’t get me wrong, there is mountains of work to do, I know it won’t be easy, I know I’ll likely still be a target for outbursts, but I’m here. I’m always here for you, no matter what it seems.
I love you so much and I cannot wait until you become who you were always meant to be.
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I am in love with the ghost you leave in the scraps you feed me.
Tell me so your secrets so I can exploit you with them
I know you have a love hate relationship with my poetry
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I was so alone but the only comfort I got was from blades.
Surrounded by people who cared but still couldn’t see me. Still couldn’t believe me.
There was so much, choking on so much pain, bursting at the seams so I cut my skin to drain.
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