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What happened?
BUT OK, MONDAY NIGHT AROUND 7pm - he picked me up at KFC Marisol and then I got him fries and burger. And he was like whaaat you didnt hafto! I was like i know its cool
And then we got into his car, and he was all giddy and I was too, definitely. And then, I hand fed him fries and he was shooketh. And then I was like jeez, just eat it already. Hahaha! Tapos ayun he got used to me handfeeding him the fries and shit.
Then I was like hey where are you taking me (eh before when he was back in Cali, we talked about how I had a dream about him and I having sex at Clark, CDC parade grounds) and he was like Im taking us to CDC HAHAHAHA
And then otw to Clark, I was asking him questions about his life like who he lives with in Cali, if he prefers his mom than his dad HAHAHA
So he was answering them, okay. Happily. So i kept going. Once we got to CDC, we just had parked car conversations. And we was eating fries (he's conscious about his diet so he tries so hard not to eat as many fries) and then while I was talking and singing he would just stare at me. Dead ass serious like stare like SEXY stare, like IM GOING TO KISS YOU NOW stare.
Ofc I was a tease, so I came close to his face and said "what are you doing?" in a sexy voice (at least I thought it was sexy) and then he was brushing my face and hair with his fingers
Okay so! THE STARE. That fucking stare, was so fucking sexy and shit I can cum just by his stare. Ive never had someone stare at me that way before.
So he was staring at me! And I was wearing this baggy knitted sweater from H&M and while he was staring, I was lowkey tryna make the sleeves fall off my shoulder like the slut I am. So his californian ass was like: damn mami
And then, I was singing Ivy - Frank Ocean, cause thats what was playing. And he suddenly kissed me. And we started making out you know, and he was grabbing my tits and shit, thank god they grew. And then he was like "oh my god" I was like "hehe what, why?"
And then, I got all heated up. I took off my sweater! And I was wearing a bra and jeans only by this time, and he was like "fuck, you're so hot" and then he would bite his lips and stop and just stare at my tits. Like as if they're the biggest tits he's ever seen. Validation right there for me!
And then, things are getting heated. He was trying to remove my pants, I said "adrian" and he would get his hands off immediately off me. Which was n extra turn on! Cause damn, I like me a good boy too mamas. And then I was kissing his neck. He smelled so good. And thats not even the best part of his body yet.
I went and touch his peepee, and then damn. That shit was hard as fuck and LONG... So I was like "oh my god" under my breath. And he removed them shorts immediately.
When he removed them, I was like "fuckkkkkk" cause jesus christ. I dove my mouth into that dick real quick!
His groin smells so good. Like every corner and inch. Which is so hard to believe cause he didn't come from his house, he came from a fucking funeral with his friends for fucks sake. How does it smell so good. So ofc, I had to show him my skills. My god, I sucked that dick for so long my jaw almost locked. Long story short, he didn't cum. He face fucked me while standing upin the car (thank you, Toyota Innova for having a huge ass space inside) and then I deepthroated without a doubt.
And then, he wanted to fuck - "wanna get a room?"
Me: Not yet, be patient Adrian: Fine baby
After a few mins, he tried to squeeze my butt but my ass small so barely squeezed anything. But thats okay.
And then I had to remind him I was on my period. He was like "Oh shit I totally forgot about that"
- We were smoking weed too on the drive to Clark, like the vape pen whatever you had before.
And then oh my god, honest to god the way he kisses me was so good. He would hold my face and squeeze my mouth with his hand and just fucking eat my whole face. And god, if someone was taking a video of it - they would have came.
It was the best kiss I've ever had. And then we'd take pauses after a few minutes. And I lied down on his chest and just feel his chest and arms and tattoos. And then, he would trace his fingers on my back and hair and give me FUCKING SMOOCHES.
R O M A N T I C!
So thats the fucking signal I picked up right? Cause who the fuck gives smooches to someone you just wanna fuck??!
Smooches are for "I wanna keep seeing you you adorable slut" not "I will hit you up only when Im horny"
So i was so gooey with all the smooches and the finger tracing and shit. I was rubbing his chest. And all that ROMANCE shit!
After a while, we decided to order takeout from Mcdonalds. And then, I offered to pay. He was like:
What are you doing? Let's half What are you thinking? Stop!!! Put that back
So he grabbed my wallet and fucking threw that shit back in my bag and said
Wag ka maglalabas ng pera pag kasama mo ko
So of course I went all soft and shit, once again!
While we were waiting for our takeout, I hand fed him fries again with caramel sundae this time. He was like "Im more of a chocolate sundae guy" but he still ate. Then he ate his burger. And then it was so cute cause the servers from McDonalds came out to deliver our food, and there were two of them... and they were all giggling and shit when they handed the 1 pc of burger and giggling when they left too.
I was like, "oooh they like you" He was like "they didnt have to go in pairs when they gave us this burger naman diba" I was like "they probably like you"
I wish I could say, thats my boyfriend.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Then he started sharing his life story back in the Philippines. Where he did a feeding program for his birthday 2 years ago and shit. How he got that trait from his mom and all. How he would do that again after a year. Then he dropped me off at Marisol, the gate at the kanto where you have to enter. I didnt let him drop me off at my house per se.
Then while I was fixing my stuff, he was like are you sure you're okay to walk home? I was like, yeah Im a big girl.
And he laughed, and was like "come here baby" and was gesturing a hug. So he hugged and fucking GAVE. ME. SMOOCHES. AGAIN.
I texted him at 6am to ask if I left my brella in his car. And then he replied at almost 2pm. When I saw that he was online at like 12pm (Facebook). But I brushed it off. Then, his message was dry as usual.
He acknowledged my head and I said we'd transfer to Telegram cause Im at work, but it was just small talk like I asked him when is he gonna pick his dog up downtown so I can meet his dog, Samson. He was like, "Ill def let you meet him, imma take him to CDC some time and you can come with"
And then, I was like Ill look forward to that and shit
And I sent a meme, and he just said "that is me" and I didnt reply na.
I texted him when I got out of work, you know - lowkey dropping hints and shit. And he replied 4 hours later. I just assumed he's with his friends
We talked during dinner and while I waited for his reply, I slept at 12am. And then he replied at 2am. And then I woke up at 5:30am for work, and he said "aga mo nagigising" and I said yeah and he was like "hatid kita sa work" and shit, but as the good girl and angel that I am, I said "No, pahinga ka nalang"
Then when I got out of work again, I asked him where he was at. And he said he just woke up but he was online for hours before that on Facebook. And he had plans with his family for his cousin's birthday and I was like oh okay.
And he said, puntahan kita mamaya? Ofc my heart went oops! Hahaha.
Okay I waited from 6pm to 9pm for him, and I was so tiired and sleepy already and when we met I was like I deserve an apology and he was like, matagal ba? Shet sorry talaga. Sinurprise pa kasi namin cousin ko.
And I was like, yeah a bit but its fine, tulugan nalang kita haha.
And then, I was so tired I couldnt think of a convo. So I asked him where he was planning to take me, and he said, up to you. I was like, anywhere.
And we ended up in a motel LOL. Like jesus christ, how can I say no now.
We got in the motel room, and oh, I forgot to mention on the way to the motel - I told him I got him a gift, cause his bday was on Sept 24th and he was like "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOINNNNNNNNN, WHY DID YOU DO THAT"
He was prolly thinking I got him a watch or something like a scrapbook, LMFAO.
Then when we got to the motel, I gave him my gift, which was weed. I was like, I picked those up from the streets. And he was like "oh shiiiiit, you didnt have to" I was like, I know it no biggie.
Then he was like, "shit babyyyy, thank you"
And then we lied down and I was wearing a mini skirt and sweater. And he saw skirt go up and he was like "oh fuck" and then we made out and then I removed my sweater, and bra he was like "oh my god"
And then he slipped my panties to the side, and oof I liked that very much, thank you. And then, from missionary, we went to doggy. And then he was like - can I cum inside, and I didnt hear him the first time and the second time, so the third time, he was like "can. i cum. inside?" and I said, oh yeah go.
"are you sure?" "Yes haha"
and then he fucking did, it was so hot.
The sex is not as good as Kyle, as well as the dick feels. Ya know!? Hahaha but I dont mind.
and then I went to pee and I showed him my underwear with his cum on it LMFAO. And then he was like shookth
And then, we watched Rick and Morty for a while and then he turned the TV on and then in the movie, there was a funeral. And he switched it off, we ended up watching 1 ep of Brooklyn 99 and then we sang the intro of B99 together, unscripted. How cute was that. Cute as fuck.
Then you know how high people laugh, theyre just like "he.he.he" that was our laugh all through out the episode. HAHAHAHA we cute as fuck.
Then someone called him, a guy. I was assuming it was his cousin or something. Asking him what time he'll be home and where he's at.
Ever since then, he felt so uneasy. And off... I was making out with him, he was hard but it would just die. We were blaming the aircon LMFAO, and then I was like hey its okay. So we ended up spooning instead and he was playing with my titties and then, we tried again. And then, he got hard and died again. He was like "fuckkk so sorry baby, I've never had this problem before haha idk why its acting up right now"
I was like hey its okay, so I gave him head. And we started trying again, then ayun after a few mins. He was able to cum, and he came on my pussy naman.
We cuddled after cleaning up, and then he was staring into space, I was like whats wrong? You okay?
Yeah I am, why whats wrong? Ikaw ok ka lang?
Me: Yeah Im okay, you seem off lang
Adrian: No, wala wala. Dont mind me..
Me: Aww, its gonna be okay.
Adrian: De kasi, kanina sa movie may nakita akong coffin... naaala ko sya (his bestfriend who died whos the reason why hes back in the PH)
Me: oh shit, sorry.
And then he was like, no its okay... And then I was like you wanna bounce na ba?
Adrian: Ok lang ba? Kasi I actually have to go.
Me: What, of course its okay. I get it!
A: You sure ha? Feel ko galit ka...
Me: What, noo come here. *kissed*
A: Sorry talaga
Then we checked out
The trip back home was awkward but we kissed goodbye and shit. And then the awkward texts came.
also forgot to mention, I asked why didnt he cum on my face and he was like: well I still wanted to kiss you after (:
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Luna
I can't bear to back-read the conversations you've had with your past hoes. I wonder if you feel the same. I want to tell you that I finally cheated back, way worse, but I am not all about revenge and spite anymore. I did not do that to get even. I did that because I dont know how I should feel about you and I know that sooner or later, you're gonna cheat on me again and this time, it might not hurt as much.
If he were here, I would have had sex with him. I am not sorry.
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He admires me. He likes me. He finds me attractive. He finds me hot.
I know that all he wants from me may be the sex and the flirt.
He isn’t the boyfriend material type anyway.
Every time I talk to him, I feel like I’m appreciating you more. I’m realizing how lucky I am having you.
But somethings not right
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Untitled
I had a dream about a different guy. Someone whom I've never seen before, or at least I think I haven't. He felt familiar, looked familiar, and real. He assisted me while I tried to get out of the pool, it's not like I needed any help or anything, he was just there. For me.
My dreams have meanings - at least that's what my mother tells me. That water represents problems in life. Either a flood in the streets, a crazy tsunami, or me drowning in a pool.
The thing is, I wasn't drowning - but he came to me as if I was. He took me, petted me, touched me in the way I wanted to be touched, enough of that sexual stuff.
I was safe in my dream, I was in love, I felt love and loved. The thing that I've been dying to feel lately. It's not the butterflies in your stomach when you talk to your crush type of thing - it's deeper and more than that. I felt so safe and at home, I didn't even want to wake up anymore.
But I did. As much as I tried to continue that story in my head, I couldn't. Not even my conscious self could fathom how I want to be loved and taken care of. All I know is that's how I should be feeling when I'm with someone.
I can't feel that with you. Maybe, in the beginning, I did. But I never felt safe with you. Just happy. And maybe now, I need to feel safer than happy. Cause don't get me wrong, we are happy. I was happy. There's a part of me that just knows that you'll never be the person that I need. You can never be that person for me. There's a lot of growth that needs to be done on your part or maybe in mine. The timing's not right.
I keep coming back to you hoping you'll change cause we are convenient for each other. We keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. That's not how it should work but I am still in denial. I'm still ignoring all the signs. I'm still choosing to believe that you'll be that dream guy for me, cause right now - I don't ever wanna see myself with someone else aside from you nor see you with someone else. I just can't.
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