whatsorryiwasntlistening

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

My mom said we can go hunt each other for sport if it’s okay with your mom

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

shreksteve fic for pride month? 👀 >:) also hi

Here you go. Glad to know my suffering brings you joy.

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

shrek turned his head away in embarrassment. for months, he'd been obviously pining for captain america-or, to shrek-stevie. 

stevie had just caught him staring. again. shrek's face turned red and his stare caught the tile floor of their community college classroom instead of stevie's handsome face. 

"hey, shrek," shrek heard a smooth honey like familiar voice say. he looked up and saw the twinkling blue eyes of his beautiful stevie. 

"h-h-h-h-hi" shrek said, stunned that america's ass himself would even acknowledge his existance. 

"heh." stevie chuckled at shrek's stutter. "youre cute. wanna go out for dinner sometime?" 

shrek looks up, stunned. he cant believe that the gorgeous specimine before him would ever want to go out with shrek. he's the uggliest person at their community college! who would want a green monster from a swamp? especially a green monster with a past. 

"s-s-sure, b-but, you know i h-h-have a son, r-r-right?" stevie looked at him, surprised. 

"no, i didnt. um. but thats okay, how old is he?" 

"t-t-twenty." shrek said, blushing hard. 

steve looked even more surprised. 

"wow, i-i didnt know you were old enough to have a twenty year old." 

shrek realized his mistake. 

"n-n-n-no, n-no, he's n-not biological. he's adopted. and uh..."

"aaand...what?" 

"he-he's also.... a-a-a d-donkey." shrek looked up, a sheepish smile on his face. 

"oh! thats cool." stevie smiled down at him. how could little old shrek get so lucky? 

"so," stevs said, smiling back at him, "i'll pick you up at 7?" 

"s-s-s-sounds g-good. i c-cant wait" 

after their date, which went lovely, stevie took shrek back to his home. they dat on the couch, and stevie confssed to soemthing. 

"i actually have a crush on you," stevie said, looking sheepishly over at shrek. shrek was speechless. he did the only thing he knew to do. 

he leaned over, his green lips puckered. stevie realized, and closed his eyes and kissed him back. shrek moaned. stevie's hands roamed shrek's body, exploring what he could over shrek's linen shirt. "mmm i want this off" stevie said pulling at the cloth. 

"p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-please" shrek said, and stevie ripped the shirt off. he explored the green hills and valleys of his lover's body. 

I was too afraid to read this. But now that I have I wish I didn’t. It’s perfect

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

augh i hope things get better soon. definitely take care of yourself first

genuinely have no clue what this might be about but I sure am doing okay now :) thanks!

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

yall have to stop insulting your own art in the caption and preemptively pointing out mistakes 90% of people probably won't notice. allow things to not be perfect. allow yourself some grace

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

Happy Lizard Fashion Day to those who celebrate.

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

im completely losing it over this gif

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

The biggest reason 9/11 did not happen in brazil is because big jesus would have catched the plane and destroy the terorist. Second big reason is tjat world trade center wads not i nbrasil

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

Hot take, but cis people have gender identities. They aren't the gender they identify as because of their genitalia or what their birth certificate says. They're only cis because they identify with a gender and it happens to match their government documentation. Cis men aren't men because they're "obviously" men for having a penis. They're men because they identify as men. It's the self-identification that dictates this, not any other factor, even for cis folks. And we should be framing it this way. A cis man identifies as a man and a cis woman identifies as a woman. There is no automatic or inherent gender.

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

grey wagtail

character from The Wildercourt, the graphic novel I'm very slowly but very persistently working on

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

oh my god

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

Is John Flanagan a good writer? I don't know, but younger tween me certainly thought so. Regardless of taste, John Flanagan has the funniest take on world-building I've ever seen in my life. What's the map of the place look like? Lossy compression uk.jpg. Who are the two main characters based on? The author and the author's son. His son was small and liked archery, so he wrote about that. What's the place where the story's Vikings live? Skandia. The country where the story starts is called Araluen. John Flanagan is from Sydney, Australia, which is the capital of New South Wales. A small town in New South Wales is named Araluen. And in case you thought I was kinding about the multilated uk jpg... I give you the map....

True king shit. His interviews always kill me as well.