whizz-in-my-ass

[whizz-in-my-ass]

Alright was no one going to tell me that in the middle of the Nevada desert is an old cemetery that contains the bodies of a bunch of miners who died in a fire and next door is a haunted clown motel

Why are we still setting horror movies in generic Victorian houses in the woods when this is a real place in the world

[whizz-in-my-ass]

what a way to end pride month

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You can lead a horse to water, you can leave a horse behind, because the horse don't dance and if it don't dance it's no horse of mine

[whizz-in-my-ass]

Cat Terrorizing a Doll House

[whizz-in-my-ass]

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

[whizz-in-my-ass]

Not sure what to do with this information… but gay rights!

[whizz-in-my-ass]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

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horse leaving the ballpit bcos someone peed in it :/

[whizz-in-my-ass]

When I was

A young horse

My father

Took me into the plinko

To fall to superhell

[whizz-in-my-ass]

horse plinko stim board

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Hand in unloveable hand.,…

[whizz-in-my-ass]

[Image ID: a plinko horse GIF where the horse reverses, bouncing up and down. Below the horse is a clip art trampoline. end ID.]

dont worry guys he is having fun and enjoying himself :-)

[whizz-in-my-ass]

[whizz-in-my-ass]