whoevenheckinknows

[whoevenheckinknows]

Bruce: *is dead again*

Dick: well this s-

Tim: *carrying a go bag* I can't believe this! I'm gonna put a tracker on him when I- oh hi Dick.

Dick: ...you don't think he's dead?

Tim: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANYONE DIED! ok Alfred but at this point I think he's using this as a vacation from us but PAST THAT! Who ACTUALLY dies? Superman 'dies' every few years, Bruce keeps 'dying' hell YOU 'die' sometimes. Obviously Jason, Damian, Cas, Steph have all 'died', my friends have'died',BUT THEY COME BACK! everyone. comes. back. I'll be back when I find Bruce for the THIRD TIME! *slams door*

Alfred: *walking into the room* he's not wrong. Tea?

[whoevenheckinknows]

Had been thinking lately about the concept of Bruce Wayne, who is awkward about initiating any physical contact with his kids first (tries to muster a courage for a hug, but ends up slapping them on the back or just awkwardly ruffle their hair) but he YEARNS for some good hugs and smooches. His solution? Host more parties and galas. They can't get away from it on camera. He also can act embarrassing and it will fit the role. The top-notch technic, mind you.

[whoevenheckinknows]

Nightwing merch room in batcave. Everyone else gets shelf space.

Jason sometimes considers going in, but refrains.

Tim uses it as a meditation room. Dick joins him sometimes for sibling bonding.

Cass occasionally goes in when more is added.

Steph checked it out once, occasionally goes back.

Duke stumbled into it and had to avoid making eye contact with Dick after staring at the body pillow wall for a little too long. Hard to make eye contact with the guy after that.

Damian goes into the room when no one is around to catch him. Or when he's upset.

There's a really realistic wax statue of him in there that they're only 63% sure isn't actually just Dick.

Has anyone ever seen Dick & the wax figure in the room at the same time? 👀

[whoevenheckinknows]

Dick getting hit with Poison Ivy's sex pollen: fuck me ...

Tim: it's allright Nightwing happens to the best of - "suddenly Dick grabs him"

Dick looking feral: I.SAID.FUCK.ME!!!

[whoevenheckinknows]

I'm gonna be honest, I'm still feeling a bit burnt out of writing. I had pieces planned for DickTim Week and transtim week, but I just don't have the motivation to finish them. I don't want to force myself to write them and burn myself out even more. So, if I ever finish them, I'll post them, but for now Imma just leave them be. Hopefully I'll be out of this funk soon.

[whoevenheckinknows]

Pocket Pussy

Written for day 1 of @dicktimweek for the prompt “De-Aging”.

Pairing: Dick Grayson/Tim Drake

Rating: Explicit

Category: M/M

Wordcount: 3.5k

Warnings: Underage Sex

Tags: Pseudo-Incest, Established Relationship, sort of, Trans Dick Grayson, Trans Male Character, De-Aged Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson is mentally 30 but bodily 15 hence the warning, Frottage, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie

Summary:

Tim sighs. “Okay. What was your realization?”

The teen straightens his leg over Tim’s body and rolls smoothly on top of him, sitting right down on Tim’s dick. “I’ve only been fully transitioned for eleven years. Isn’t that funny?”

[whoevenheckinknows]

look me in the eyes dc and tell me a seventeen year old would make a good ceo

[whoevenheckinknows]

Jerking off is incest

Sometimes I feel like you guys say things because you're bored

[whoevenheckinknows]

I really do love that Batman is supposed to be this super strict and tough badass who has his rules and doesn’t budge on them for shit; to the point where unless they get express permission, the metas that literally make up his superhero team and closest companions aren’t even allowed to step foot in his city.

and then his kids come along and his entire backbone just falls apart at the seams.

Tim, walking into the cave and interrupting an online JL meeting: sorry just grabbing the bleach!

Bruce, pausing: what do you need bleach for?

Tim: oh, Jason killed another guy and wants help with the cleanup.

Bruce:

The JL, who know Batman as the strict ‘no kill guy’:

Bruce:

Bruce: …but just one? he only killed one, right?

Tim: yeah.

Bruce:

Bruce: bleach is over there

JL: ?!?!?!

-

Superman, video calling Bruce: i know you don’t allow metas in Gotham, but there’s a crossover between a job i’m on in Metropalis and a deal i believe to be going down in Gotham, so i was hoping that-

Bruce: no. send me the case, i’ll sort it. stay out of my city.

Superman: Bruce-

Duke appearing in the background of the call: B! COME LOOK AT THIS SHIT, I FIGURED OUT A NEW WAY TO USE MY POWERS!

Bruce: that’s great, chum! I’ll be right there!

Superman:

-

Batman: I will not have guns in my household.

Damian: you understand that both Pennyworth and Drake have firearms in the manor, correct?

Batman:

The JLA:

Batman: when did Tim get a gun?

Damian: when Todd took him and I to a shooting range and gifted us them.

Batman:

Batman: …you have a gun too?

Damian: i do.

Batman: but not in the manor right?

Damian: of course not.

Batman: oh thank g-

Damian, pulling out a handgun: i keep mine on me

Batman: oh my god-

[whoevenheckinknows]

Tim: so you grew up with Jason in the league, right? what was that like?

Damian: one time we were training on the outskirts of the compound together when I was around, like, nine, and I told him ‘Todd we need to take a break so I can use the bathroom’

Tim:

Damian: and Todd went ‘shit man, I need to piss too, let’s just go here in our clothes. we can just piss our pants.’

Tim:

Damian: and I was nine and had been raised to trust him with my life. and he went ‘im pissing right now, i’m going’ and i panicked and said ‘oh um- ok i’m going too!’

Tim:

Damian: and i was nine. and i wet myself. and Todd was sixteen, and he looked me directly in the eye and went ‘i didn’t actually go’.

Tim:

Damian: and then he told my grandfather i was incontinent.

Tim:

Damian: that’s what growing up with Todd was like, Drake. that’s what it was like.

Tim:

Jason: *collapsed on the floor nearby, wheezing silently through tears*

[whoevenheckinknows]

[whoevenheckinknows]

Weird take, but I love that Clark’s parents were so… normal. They weren’t the expected hotties with a swagger and a confidence in everything they do. No. It’s a dad who cries because he’s scared his son is injured. It’s a mom who calls to congratulate him on an article he wrote and published. It’s the dad listening in but not saying anything because he doesn’t want to disturb his kid. It’s the mom with a typical midwestern accent and mannerisms. It’s the 20+ missed calls when their son disappeared.

It’s not “oh yeah he’s Superman, guess he’ll come around when he comes around.” It’s just so endearingly normal and human and parental. This is their little boy who drinks coco and saves squirrels and doesn’t want to kill a giant goblin creature because “there’s a gentler way”. A gentler way because he saw his gentler parents. A gentler way because he had a gentle upbringing. A gentler way because his parents are not heroes, they won’t be running around finding danger but if they see a injured squirrel or a bird with a broken wing, they take it in and help it heal.

My heart is literal mush with the family dynamics of these Kent’s. They did so good at raising a clumsy ass oaf and I love them all with my whole heart.

[whoevenheckinknows]

always so fun when dick comes home

[whoevenheckinknows]

random things omegaverse kind of popped off with:

resting forward and on your knees completely during sex so you don’t wobble around

small hydrating bites of food after large amounts of physical exertion

people having immediate beef on sight with little to no reasoning

aftercare and/or biologically encouraged cuddling

a shit ton of pillows

[whoevenheckinknows]

《 PAGE PREVIEW 》

❮ ❝I called him by name. My name.❞ ❯

Starting off our previews with this gorgeous art from @flyingdidii! Showing us how Dick and Jason will always be connected through the red string of fate.

Preorders will open on August 16!

[ Carrd || X || Bluesky ]

[whoevenheckinknows]

Jaytim Baby Drama

Au where Tim is intersex. He identifies as male but lately has been going through baby fever and knows his possibilities are open. Until now he had never thought of having a baby himself but now that he’s been thinking it through, he can’t think of anyone better. He isn’t sure who he wants to father his child though, just that he can only trust a few people.

So he just kind of tossed the idea out there and to see who jumps on it.

As they sat in the parlor at night doing their own things:

Tim, blatantly: I want a baby.

Damian:

Dick:

Bruce:

Jason slowly unzipping his pants: well if you must-

Bruce slaps his hand away: let’s not pick your child’s father in a two second decision.

Tim: too late. He’s got dibs.

Jason, grinning: fuck yeah, I got dibs.

Dick: awe, no fair! I want a baby Timmy!

Jason: too late, he’s mine.

Dick pouted his lip.

Bruce: Tim, let’s think here? You’ve got other choices. What about that Kon boy?

Damian: you want a Kent to father his child?

Bruce: …

Bruce: have fun boys.

[whoevenheckinknows]

[#jaytim / nsfw] ft Caroline!Tim

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