why-do-i-like-the-bad-guys

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- The Torn-Up Road by Richard Siken

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Tips for writing a sociopath:

While I've already made a post about the differences in writing psychopaths and sociopaths, I found it might be more helpful that I expand on each individually.

Do keep in mind that I am in no way a professional, I'm just a writer who's done her research and have written characters with ASPD before.

1- Conscious Sociopaths do have a conscious, a very weak one, that is often overshadowed by ego or impulse. So they are capable of feeling empathy and guilt.

What does this mean for your character? It means that while they lie and cheat, they can feel bad for their victims, it's just that they're able to ignore this feeling or it's overpowered by other feelings, often a need to be the best.

2- Ego Sociopaths are more often than not, fueled by ego, and a need to be liked and admired. They care what people think of them, and require praise for the things they do.

Sociopaths often look at more shallow methods of being the best, they don't try to be the best in how good they are to others, rather they try to be the richest, the smartest, the most attractive, etc.

3- Lying Sociopaths don't mind lying, more often than not, it's the easier option for them. They have little to no moral opposition to it, if it benefits them, they'll do it.

This applies to other things that someone without ASPD would consider wrong, cheating, betraying, and so on.

If it benefits a sociopath, they will do it.

4- Consequences. On that same note, sociopaths care how they appear to others, so they will try to keep any moral wrongdoing hidden from the public, to maintain their image and reputation.

5- Self-awareness A sociopath is not aware that they are a sociopath, maybe they can be made aware of the fact, but more often than not, they will be enraged if a label like that is put on them, because it can ruin their image.

Your average sociopath doesn't know that they're a sociopath, they'll think they're simply better than those around them, or more dedicated to things.

They will view themselves as the standard, making them very distrustful of people. Because if they lie and cheat, obviously everyone else does too, right?

6- Impulsiveness How impulsive a sociopath is depends on many personality factors, some people are just better at evaluating the future than others, this applies to sociopaths as well. But more often than not, a sociopath will be more impulsive than your average person, craving instant validation over long-term commitment to something.

7- Why? As far as my knowledge goes, sociopaths are the way they are due to factors in their childhood, often abuse.

Unlike psychopaths, who are born with the condition, sociopaths develop it in childhood.

This could explain the existence of a conscious, while psychopaths lack one. They still feel bad because inside them is a child who still feels, but a child who was hurt and abused enough to lose all hope in the world and the people in it.

This causes sociopaths to be distrusting of everything and everyone, making them incapable of forming geniune connection with people, which turns into loneliness.

Remember that sociopaths are not evil, no one with ASPD is, this tip post is of general information that I like to keep in mind with my characters. Your character may choose not to lie or cheat, they may be more or less impulsive, etc. At the end of the day, just make sure not to make the fact that they're a sociopath their entire personality.

That's all for this post, feel free to ask me questions in the comments about the specific character you're writing cause I always love answering those!

Maybe some of this advice will help, maybe it won't, either way, I hope this feline has enlightened you!

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BLACK SAILS 2.01 “IX.”

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SECRETARY ( 2002 ) dir. Steven Shainberg

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I have no outline tho, just vibes

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know no shame 

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Vibes for Softly Tortured Characters

For the ones who make you want to wrap them in a blanket and also scream “JUST TALK TO SOMEONE.”

Always looks like they didn’t sleep (because they didn’t)

Talks like they’re about to say something else, but never does

Constantly touches their sleeves/jewelry/lip, like if they’re not holding something, they’ll fall apart

Laughs too easily, but it never quite reaches their eyes

Over-apologizes for things no one noticed

Craves affection but flinches when they get it

Body language = trying to take up as little space as possible

Flashes of unexpected rage, like pressure finally cracking glass

Always says “I’m fine” in a tone that screams “Please ask again”

Cries alone, then wipes their face like it’s a secret

Feels safest in chaos because stillness feels like waiting for pain

Thinks being loved means being a burden

Cannot remember the last time they were truly, fully relaxed

Keeps people at arm’s length, but is the first to drop everything if someone else needs help

Treats their own joy like it's a luxury they didn’t earn

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Facial Expressions & Emotional Micro-Reactions for Writers

(For those subtle moments when “he frowned” just isn’t enough.)

Tight-lipped — Mouth pressed closed, often from restraint, anxiety, or irritation. Jaw clenched — Tension from anger, fear, or self-control. Eyes narrowed — Suspicion, doubt, or intense focus. Brow furrowed — Confusion, concern, or frustration. Lip twitching — On the edge of a smile… or a snarl. Eye roll — Dismissiveness, annoyance, or teenage energy. Lip biting — Anxiety, hesitation, or suppressed emotion. Nose scrunch — Disgust, confusion, or mild sass. Blinking too fast — Shock, overwhelm, or trying not to cry. Staring blankly — Dissociation, distraction, or emotional overload. Smirking — Confidence, mischief, or sarcasm. Avoiding eye contact — Shame, discomfort, or guilt. Looking down quickly — Vulnerability, embarrassment, or attraction. Shoulders rising slightly — Insecurity, fear, or defensiveness. Forced smile — Pretending, hiding, or surviving the moment.

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Habits That Reveal Deep Character

(A.K.A. the quiet stuff that says everything without screaming it)

❥ The “I Always Sit Facing the Exit” Quirk They don’t talk about their childhood much, but they always know where the exits are. Every restaurant. Every train. Trauma has muscle memory. Your job is to notice what it’s saying without needing a monologue about it.

❥ The “I Can’t Sleep Until I Hear You Lock the Door” Habit It's not controlling. It's care shaped like paranoia. They say “Goodnight” like it’s casual, but they’re counting the clicks of the lock like a lullaby. Let that show more than “I love you.”

❥ The “I Keep Everything You’ve Ever Given Me” Thing Not just gifts. Receipts with your doodles. The crumpled note you wrote when you were mad. Every bit of you that felt real. It’s borderline hoarder behavior, but also? It’s devotion.

❥ The “I Cook When I’m Sad” Pattern Their world’s falling apart, but suddenly everyone has banana bread. It’s not about food—it’s about control, about creating something warm when everything else is cold. And they won’t say it out loud, but they're asking, “Will you stay?”

❥ The “I Practice Conversations in the Mirror” Secret Before big moments, hard talks, or just answering the phone. They're rehearsing being okay. They're trying to be the version of themselves people expect. That’s not weakness—it’s survival wrapped in performance art.

❥ The “I Fix Other People’s Problems to Ignore My Own” Reflex Everyone calls them “strong,” but no one notices how fast they redirect. “How are you doing though?” they ask, one heartbeat after breaking down. Let your reader see how exhaustion wears a smile.

❥ The “I Never Miss A Birthday” Rule Even for people who forgot theirs. Even for exes. It’s not about being remembered—it’s about being someone who remembers. That’s character.

❥ The “I Clean When I Feel Powerless” Mechanism That sparkling sink? Not about hygiene. That’s grief control. That’s despair in a Clorox wipe. Let it speak volumes in the silence of a spotless room.

❥ The “I Pretend I Don’t Need Help” Lie They say, “I’m fine” like it’s a full stop. But their hands shake when they think no one’s looking. Let your other characters notice. Let someone care, even when they don’t ask for it.

❥ The “I Watch People When They’re Not Watching Me” Curiosity Not in a creepy way. In a poet’s way. In a “who are you when no one’s clapping” way. They love the in-between moments: laughter in elevators, fidgeting before speeches. That's who they are—observers, not performers.

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How a Character’s Anger Can Show Up Quietly

Anger doesn’t always slam doors. Sometimes it simmers. Sometimes it cuts.

╰ They go still. Not calm... still. Like something is pulling tight inside them.

╰ They smile, but their eyes? Cold. Flat. Done.

╰ Their voice gets quieter, not louder. Controlled. Measured. Weaponized.

╰ They ask questions they already know the answers to, just to watch someone squirm.

╰ Their words are clipped. Polite. But razor-sharp.

╰ They laugh once. Without humor. You know the one.

╰ They leave the room without explanation, and when they come back? Different energy. Ice where fire was.

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When a Character is Falling in Love but Doesn’t Trust It

Love is terrifying. Especially for characters who’ve been hurt, shut down, or raised to believe vulnerability is weakness. So when they start falling? It doesn’t look like a Disney montage. It looks like panic in slow motion.

✧ They start noticing everything and it unsettles them. The way their voice cracks when they laugh. The way their fingers tap when they’re thinking. These little details burrow in and refuse to leave. And that awareness makes the character feel exposed.

✧ They become hyperaware of their own body. Where their hands are. How close they’re standing. If they’re blushing. It’s like being inside a body that’s betraying them constantly.

✧ They act a little mean. Not because they are mean. But because being cold is safer than being real. Sarcasm, distance, teasing, they use it like armor.

✧ They hate how much they want to share things. They’ll see a funny meme and instinctively want to send it. Then stop. No. Don’t get attached. They want to tell them about a childhood memory, then bite it back. Too personal.

✧ They become inconsistent. Warm one moment, distant the next. Showing up, then pulling away. They’re testing how much of themselves they can reveal before it feels like too much.

✧ They assume the worst. They know it won’t last. That this person will leave. That they’re misreading everything. Love doesn’t feel safe, it feels like a countdown to pain.

✧ They self-sabotage. Pick fights. Flake on plans. Pull away emotionally just to “protect themselves” before it goes wrong. It’s tragic and messy and real.

✧ They notice silence more. What wasn’t said. A delayed reply. A joke that didn’t land. Everything becomes a sign that maybe this love thing was a mistake.

✧ They want to run, but never do. The desire to bolt is constant. But they don’t. Because something about this person is pulling them back, despite every warning bell going off in their head.

✧ They don’t trust the feeling, but they keep falling anyway. And that’s what makes it beautiful. And heartbreaking. Because they don’t want to fall. But they do. And maybe, just maybe, that’s the bravest thing they’ve ever done.

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Unhealed Wounds Your Character Pretends Are Just “Personality Traits”

These are the things your character claims are just “how they are” but really, they’re bleeding all over everyone and calling it a vibe.

╰ They say they're "independent." Translation: They don’t trust anyone to stay. They learned early that needing people = disappointment. So now they call it “being self-sufficient” like it’s some shiny badge of honor. (Mostly to cover up how lonely they are.)

╰ They say they're "laid-back." Translation: They stopped believing their wants mattered. They'll eat anywhere. Do anything. Agree with everyone. Not because they're chill, but because the fight got beaten out of them a long time ago.

╰ They say they're "a perfectionist." Translation: They believe mistakes make them unlovable. Every typo. Every bad hair day. Every misstep feels like proof that they’re worthless. So they polish and polish and polish... until there’s nothing real left.

╰ They say they're "private." Translation: They’re terrified of being judged—or worse, pitied. Walls on walls on walls. They joke about being “mysterious” while desperately hoping no one gets close enough to see the mess behind the curtain.

╰ They say they're "ambitious." Translation: They think achieving enough will finally make the emptiness go away. If they can just get the promotion, the award, the validation—then maybe they’ll finally outrun the feeling that they’re fundamentally broken. (It never works.)

╰ They say they're "good at moving on." Translation: They’re world-class at repression. They’ll cut people out. Bury heartbreak. Pretend it never happened. And then wonder why they wake up at 3 a.m. feeling like they're suffocating.

╰ They say they're "logical." Translation: They’re terrified of their own feelings. Emotions? Messy. Dangerous. Uncontrollable. So they intellectualize everything to avoid feeling anything real. They call it rationality. (It's fear.)

╰ They say they're "loyal to a fault." Translation: They mistake abandonment for loyalty. They stay too long. Forgive too much. Invest in people who treat them like an afterthought, because they think walking away makes them "just as bad."

╰ They say they're "resilient." Translation: They don't know how to ask for help without feeling like a burden. They wear every bruise like a trophy. They survive things they should never have had to survive. And they call it strength. (But really? It's exhaustion wearing a cape.)

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Write Characters with Deep Emotional Wounds

(Without Making Them Walking Tragedies)

╰ Start with the scar, not the stabbing. Everyone talks about what happened to your character (The Big Trauma) but honestly? It’s the aftermath that matters. Show me the limp, not the bullet wound. Show me the way they flinch at kindness or double-check locks three times. The wound shapes them more than the event ever did.

╰ Don't make them "Sad All The Time" People with deep hurts aren’t just dramatic sob machines. They make bad jokes. They find weird hobbies. They have good days and then get wrecked by a song in a grocery store. Layers, my friend. Pain is complex and it sure as hell isn’t aesthetic.

╰ Let them almost heal and then backslide. Real healing isn’t linear. One good conversation doesn’t erase ten years of bottled-up grief. Your character might think they’re over it, and then one tiny thing, a smell, a phrase, a look, knocks them right back into the hole. Make them earn their healing. Make us ache for them.

╰ Give them armor and show the cracks. Maybe it’s sarcasm. Maybe it’s perfectionism. Maybe it’s taking care of everyone else so no one notices they're broken. Whatever mask they wear, show us the hairline fractures. Let us catch the moments where they almost drop the act.

╰ Don’t turn their trauma into their only personality trait. Yes, they’ve been through hell. But they also love spicy chips and bad reality TV. They have dumb crushes and secret dreams. A tragic backstory isn’t a substitute for a full human being. Let them be more than the worst thing that ever happened to them.

╰ Let their wound warp their decisions. People protect their wounds. Even badly. Especially badly. They might sabotage good relationships. Or push away help. Or cling too tightly. Make their past live in their choices, not just their flashbacks.

╰ Don’t make the world validate them for existing. Not everyone is going to understand your wounded character. Some people will misunderstand them. Blame them. Get frustrated. And honestly? That’s real. Let your character find their people, after facing the ones who don’t get it. It’s so much sweeter that way.

╰ Wounds can make them kinder—or crueler. Pain changes people. Some become protectors. Some become destroyers. Some do both, depending on the day. Let your character’s hurt make them complicated. Unpredictable. Human.

╰ Don’t heal them just to tie a neat bow on your story Sometimes the best ending is messy. Sometimes the healing is just starting. Sometimes it’s just hope, not a full recovery montage. That’s okay. Healing is a lifelong, terrifying, brave process—and readers feel it when you respect that.

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10 Traits That Make a Character Secretly Dangerous

❥ Disarming Humor. They’re the life of the party. Everyone’s laughing. No one’s noticing how much they aren’tsaying.

❥ Laser-Sharp Observation. They see everything. Who’s nervous. Who’s lying. Who would be easiest to break. And they don’t miss.

❥ Unsettling Calm. Even in chaos, they stay still. Smiling. Thinking. Calculating.

❥ Weaponized Empathy. They know how to make people trust them. Because they know exactly what people want to hear.

❥ Compartmentalization. They can do something brutal, then eat lunch like nothing happened.

❥ Controlling Niceness. The kind of kindness that’s sharp-edged. You feel guilty for not loving them.

❥ Mirroring Behavior. They become whatever the person in front of them needs. It's not flattery. It’s survival—or manipulation.

❥ Selective Vulnerability. They know how to spill just enough pain to make you drop your guard.

❥ History of “Bad Luck”. Ex-friends, ex-lovers, ex-colleagues… they all left under “unfortunate” circumstances. But the pattern says otherwise.

❥ Unshakeable Confidence in Their Morality. They don’t think they’re the villain. That makes them scarier.

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“I’m Pretending I Don’t Love You” Behaviors

(for that beautiful, painful flavor of self-denial that authors LIVE FOR)

✦ Making fun of everything they do...gently. Like it’s the only way you can touch them.

✦ Telling them to be careful, but saying it like an insult.

✦ Correcting people who get their name wrong, then pretending it didn’t matter.

✦ Staring just a little too long—and then making a sarcastic comment to cover the slip.

✦ Showing up to things “coincidentally” wherever they are. All the time.

✦ Knowing exactly what food they like, but acting like it was a random choice.

✦ Volunteering to be on their team, share their tent, go with them, whatever excuse works.

✦ Looking away fast when they laugh. Too fast. Like it hurts.

✦ Caring for them when they’re hurt, but muttering, “Don’t read into this.”

✦ Being furious when someone else flirts with them and not being able to explain why.

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10 “I’m Trying Not to Fall in Love With You” Behaviors

(for that painfully slow-burn energy. they’re in denial, we are screaming.)

✧ Overexplaining why they’re doing something kind. “I only brought you coffee because I was already there. It doesn’t mean anything.”

✧ Making playlists, but never sending them.

✧ Remembering oddly specific things, like how you take your ramen or your opinion on grape-flavored candy.

✧ Looking at your mouth mid-conversation. Catching themselves. Looking away.

✧ Offering to carry something small and stupid, like a charger or chapstick, because it’s one more way to be close.

✧ Giving a compliment but following it up with a weird joke, like their brain short-circuited.

✧ Fixing your sleeve. Avoiding eye contact while doing it.

✧ Defending you in front of others but teasing you when you’re alone.

✧ Staring a little too long when they think you’re not looking.

✧ Practicing how not to touch you when you sit too close. Failing anyway.

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SAW BEAR MCCREARY LIVE AND THE HURDY GURDY SOUNDED EVEN BETTER IN PERSON 😭