whyberealistic

[whyberealistic]

peacock taking off only the 90s episodes of columbo is a hate crime against me specifically

[whyberealistic]

Anthony Perkins as Reverend Peter Shayne in Crimes of Passion (1984)

[whyberealistic]

we watched jaws on the fourth of july, as kelsey and i do every year, but this time three of her coworkers joined us and they were appropriately horny about richard dreyfuss and one of them spent half the movie vividly describing how they wanted to peg quint. i'm so glad we've found people who understand.

[whyberealistic]

there is an old vulcan proverb: only nixon could go to china

[whyberealistic]

the one magician episode of columbo is so funny they have jack cassidy's faggot ass doing the worst sleight of hand tricks known to man and then shooting a guy for threatening to tattle that he's actually a nazi. not even like Just A Nazi but a former ss officer. and then columbo shows up with his stupid fucking assistant and then does bits about a raincoat for the whole rest of the episode. god i wanna go on T for just long enough to grow a spindly little blonde mustache

[whyberealistic]

g gordon liddy mpreg

[whyberealistic]

i love that the mc bat commander has a way cooler way gayer brother

[whyberealistic]

been two decades and i've still never gotten a satisfactory explanation for why arwen's life is tied to the ring

[whyberealistic]

giving therapy another try but my new therapist is 24 goddamn years old. what the fuck

[whyberealistic]

the problem with having a decade old tumblr blog is that there are posts on it from a decade ago

[whyberealistic]

i havent engaged with mcelroy content (that's not old haunted doll watches) in many moons but youtube recommended a video to me and

what in the o o o ozempic happened to justin.

[whyberealistic]

file this one next to "socratian poetry" under "tumblr users trying to sound smart by using specific language and revealing they don't know what they're talking about"

[whyberealistic]

[whyberealistic]

The reason why God was so involved in human affairs a long time ago but then noped out after Jesus is because God is going through the same motions for every animal species: making a covenant, giving commandments, and sending down his own child to die in the form of that species. I know this because I felt an odd urge to swallow a mouse yesterday and, when I questioned it, I received a vision from God saying that He was on mice right now, and the mouse I was about to swallow was the mouse-equivalent of Jonah. Tomorrow I'm supposed to spit him out in a den of sinful mice so that he can squeak to word of God at them. I wish that little guy the best.

[whyberealistic]

i've never really had an irl autistic friend but kelsey's coworker is 23 and into mormonism and the jfk assassination (they're also VERY into cars mpreg fanfiction) and they think i'm Very Cool and honestly? it's a spiritually healing experience

[whyberealistic]

my mom's best friend (who was really her only friend and she wasn't all that big a fan of her towards the end bc she got very right-wing and very christian, she was so excited for me to tell her i'm a lesbian lmao) passed away from brain cancer last week i guess. she had two daughters that my sister and i grew up with. unfortunately the only person i would be able to unpack this with is my mom, and the only reason i need to unpack this in the first place is bc my mom's dead, so here we are

[whyberealistic]