[ID: a rough doodle of a grimacing person, labelled "me," opening a bottle of sparkling cider, labelled "cider that apparently got shookened." the bottle shoots a blast of cider, labelled "Beam Attack," at a cat, labelled "gertrude."]
im sorry but this is insane to me like i get annotating a book i do it too sometimes but like this is crazy.... why are these people acting like emily henry is academic writing??? how long does it take them to do this???
I have an ice-cold take to share but I'm trusting you all with my vulnerability
Obviously Taylor Swift's private jet carbon footprint is a fucking problem but also I think if she did the alternative and flew on commercial airplanes to get to her concerts then someone would absolutely bite her.
I think she'd safely get through about 5 flights but on the sixth there will be some Swiftie who spots her and enters a complete hyperventilation fugue state that manifests with something similar to cute-aggression but it would manifest in the form of biting Taylor Swift as much as possible. I don't think she would leave unscathed.
Like politicians already travel privately to avoid assassination and it's just that I believe the number of political assassins out there pales in comparison to the number of 23-year-old white sorority girls who are one Taylor-Swift-spotting away from putting their invisalign into practice.