wildknightblaze

[wildknightblaze]

Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.

[wildknightblaze]

me at 14: “None of my characters are self-inserts! I’ve worked really hard to make them unique and interesting. I hate Mary Sues.”

me now: “they’re all self-inserts. every single one of them. a hundred various versions of me. I’m gonna rub my grubby hands all over every property I enjoy. are you going to stop me? no. you can’t”

[wildknightblaze]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[wildknightblaze]

IT FUCKIN YURI DAAAAAAAAAAAY

[wildknightblaze]

Most racist person you know: "NYC has fallen. We should evacuate and comfort our loved ones while we still have time. A Muslim won the primary."

[wildknightblaze]

why are you calling calvin a role model? hes literally a misogynist and displays textbook examples of narcissistic tendencies

calvin is 6 years old

[wildknightblaze]

I just played Haven and was like “Damn these two are super cute this art kinda looks like Koyorin tho?” and then looked it up and HOW DID I ONLY FIND OUT ABOUT THIS NOW ITS ONE OF THE MOST GORGEOUS GAMES IVE PLAYED

thank you so much! haven was my first major project when i started freelancing and will always hold a special place with me; the game bakers were also a pleasure to work with and haven was truly a game of passion for everyone on the team, so i'm glad to hear you like it!

[wildknightblaze]

Definitely came off too harsh but that response just pissed me off so bad

[wildknightblaze]

Was just informed that "any sufficiently deep enthusiasm is indistinguishable from academic rigor" and hoo boy we are really in a crisis of anti-intellectualism.

[wildknightblaze]

[wildknightblaze]

This is who is leading the NYC mayoral democratic primary rn

[wildknightblaze]

Kind of weird to feel—what is this? Hope? Enthusiasm?

[wildknightblaze]

Michael Schneider

[wildknightblaze]

This was gonna be my Make A Terrible Comic Day submission, but I let my demons (perfectionism) take hold and now it's not terrible enough. I will make something more in the spirit of the day later this evening.

I'd initially thought of making this a big, all encompassing discussion of my entire breast aug experience like my one year HRT comic, but Spell X Sword takes most of my comic time, and frankly it just sounded tiring to make. Have the bullet points with some cleaned up pencils instead lol

[wildknightblaze]

do u know why tumblr is wiganposting?

Why? because here in tumblr, wiganpostin's as good as gravy

[wildknightblaze]

[wildknightblaze]

really is bizarre the way fandoms largely do not like women at ALL. it’s been happening for ages but when you see people straight up just hating on women characters more often now (+ the general rise in misogyny) and then you come on here and everyone’s just pretending women don’t even EXIST in any media ever. it’s like that’s not much better. fandom isn’t activism but it does reveal people’s internal biases. like women being excluded, sidelined and erased in everythingggg. people will take characteristics that are compelling in a female character and give it to a man in fan content just so they don’t have to engage with a woman ever. fics, fan art, ships, etc. a hollywood produced movie/tv show won’t even sideline a woman as much as the average fandom blogger will