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MY ASS IS ENTIRELY OPEN FOR:

HOT THERAPISTS WHO WANT TO MANIPULATE ME (hannibal & alanna)

MY ASS IS ENTIRELY CLOSED FOR:

HOT THERAPISTS WHO WANT TO MANIPULATE ME (chilton & bedelia)

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New Years Resolutions:

Fish more.

Get framed for murder less.

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Sorry for not posting lately. I accidentally locked myself in one of the dog cages.

....

again.

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Cooking Hannibal breakfast with eggs I made myself.

scraping the menstrual blood off was a bitch

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So the thing about fishing is that you need to have the right bait before you cast your line, which is why i need you to help me take hole pics to send to Hannibal-

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STOP SUCKING HUMAN BONE MARROW!!!!

START SUCKING YOUR THERAPIST OFF!!!!!

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Don't judge.

If Hannibal Lecter offered you the chance to be fully seen and known and loved, you'd act like a bloodthirsty whore, too.

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Please, daddy, please put it in me. I need it(feeding tube and human ear)

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Taking Hannibal on a date to a farm so I can point at the livestock and say, "See, most people eat meat from those things. They're called animals-"

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Hannibal is taking me out on a date tonight.

At least, I think he is?

He knocked me out, dressed me in a tux, and stuffed me in the trunk of his Bentley.

Either he's finally going to kill me or we're going to the opera.

Could go either way, but this suit feels expensive....

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does anyone know how to get human blood stains out of cashmere?

I accidentally wore Hannibal's favorite sweater to a crime scene.

Well....

To be truthful, I wore it to Costco and then some dickhead stole the last bottle of kirkland whiskey and somehow the Costco became a crime scene.

And I also became the owner of a new bottle of kirkland whiskey.

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If they didn't want me to try to fuck my hot cannibal boyfriend there, they shouldn't have called it The Pound.

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Self-inducing an encephalitic seizure so Hannibal will have to roll his sleeves up his beefy beefy arms and cradle my head in his lap.

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Forcing Hannibal to watch "Hell's Kitchen" for the first time.

He thinks Gordon is rude.

I've already canceled the trip to London we were planning for this winter to be on the safe side.

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Hannibal keeps showing me horror movies and then huffing me like he's in 7th grade and I'm paint thinner he found in his dad's garage.

Apparently, my adrenaline sweats are "exquisite".

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Baiting my rod with these and dangling it in front of Hannibal to see if he'll bite:

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This isn't a set up to a joke, guys. I think I might have eaten a bass lure.

What's the difference between a gummy worm and a bass lure?