willedesma - Tumblr blog

[willedesma]

He looked at her even though she was looking down. He didn’t think he’d reach this far. It seemed like it was a success where he lost. It would make her happier but they still lost. She looked back at him, her face nearer that it ever was. “The feeling is mutual.” He did and would still like her. He was afraid of losing those innocent feelings for her but he knew it would. So he promised to himself, in that moment, that he wouldn’t just throw it away. It was something that led his character in this book to his character development. He couldn’t let it go even if he wanted to.

"Sorry if I didn’t fight for it. Wala man lang kaeffort-effort yung mga pinaggagawa ko." His prideful self from before wouldn’t have let him say this. He would’ve been thinking things like: “Well, she didn’t fight for it, too.”, “It’s not all my fault.” or “It’s his fault that’s why it didn’t work out.” He was glad that it was one of the things subtracted in his character development. Pride, indeed, was one of the seven deadly sins.

[willedesma]

What he was doing was contradicting to what he had said earlier. He wanted to see her happy but he was doing the exact opposite. But he knew he had to do this. Just a little bit more and he would be able to see it everyday now. "Believe me, it took me weeks just thinking about this. The same questions kept on bothering me. I thought of every plausible way to keep whatever this was going, heck, I even used my abilities for this. Wala eh." He was still staring into her eyes. He wanted to break the pressure that came from the eye contact but he couldn't bring himself to. "Ang lakas nga natin eh. Hanggang ngayon na kayanan. I was hanging on to that little string of hope only to be cut off by the reality of things." Every word was just stinging him, he was proud of himself for still standing there. "The reality that this chapter doesn't really end up the way everyone expected it to be. It wasn't even his fault."

All Over Again || WillHia Para

[willedesma]

Well okay. Thanks for the book insights. I'll probably lend you the book later or tomorrow.

I guess so, sometime in the distant future, may be.

[willedesma]

"You've been happy..." He started. "And you and I both know that I'm not one to show it but there is and always will be a bit of me that wants to see you like that." He started speaking more slowly. "Every single time." He used to question movies that would put a long inappropriate silence every time the main character was going to say something painful to another character. He used to think that they should just get straight to the point and tell them whatever it was. He now understood, though. It was a new level of difficult. He never imagined it would be that hard. "But.. It's not that clear, the way I see it. For some reason, there was something else. There it is. Something else. The day I realized what it is was the day I was sure that if I kept fighting, you wouldn't smile as much"

All Over Again || WillHia Para

[willedesma]

So you can make people shut up? That'll actually come in handy.

Sound Manipulation. I can decrease or increase the volume of sound and maybe scream really loud though I don’t use my powers much.

[willedesma]

It was actually happening at that very moment. She pulled back and asked him the question he had been fearing ever since he sent that message. He mustered up the confidence he had left and looked at her straight in the eye. Her eyes were red from crying. It was the same look she had when he had confronted her. "Sorry..." He took a deep breathe. "Sorry for wasting your time and efforts." He felt the goosebumps creeping on him.

All Over Again || WillHia Para

[willedesma]

He didn't hesitate to hug her back. Although he wasn't crying, he was sure that he was hurting just as much as she was. It hurt more to think that he was going to break her even more. He was supposed to be the one to comfort her and make her feel better. He was going to be the biggest asshole -- as if he wasn't already. What she was doing right now made everything harder than it already was.

Minutes have passed and they were still standing in the same position. He was just prolonging everything. Goddammit, Will. Just do it. He hadn't noticed, but his hug tightened. Not too much, though. His actions were just contradicting everything he was about to say. He buried his head into her shoulders. "Soph," Tighter. "Sorry." Tighter. "Really." Tighter. ooc note: she could still breathe

All Over Again || WillHia Para

[willedesma]

He watched her running around the room and stopping everything that was on her way. She almost seemed like a ballerina. She moved so well and negated everything that it seemed like she was following a script. She was so focused that it surprised him when she suddenly stopped. At first, he thought he had suddenly came in the room to disrupt their practice. 'It was unfair.' he thought. Though, he suddenly realized that it was all an illusion. It was almost as if the training room gave him an easier way to tell her what he wanted to tell her. And he cursed and thanked the training room for that. It hurt him but it was expected.

He looked away as she walked towards him. Her voice was enough to tell him that she was crying. It hurt that he was familiar with it. He chose to stay silent. Through that silence, he was debating whether to hug her or not. He'd do it but he wasn't sure if she'd let him. "Soph..."

All Over Again || WillHia Para

[willedesma]

I wouldn't have memorized it without my enhanced memorization skills. Part na yun ng ability ko. By the way, I forgot to ask but ano nga pala yung ability mo?

*looks at him again* Oh. Thank you. I'll try to read and return it soon. I never thought you could memorize a whole book, much more works that have more than 300 pages, it sounds impossible yet impressive.

[willedesma]

*eyes slightly widen* It's kinda weird for a book eccentric to finish such a thick book in a total of six months. Especially when Shakespearean books are almost as thick as those. *sighs and scratches the back of his head* Well, pwede mo pa namang hiramin. I have other books to finish, too, and I could always read the others. Besides, it's part of my ability to memorize. I memorized the whole first book so...

Well, um, you see… *averts her eyes* I’m not sure if I can read thick books since I have a lot to do. If you let me borrow it, I might return it after six months or more. You’re going to miss your favorite book for a while. *mutters other reasons incoherently* 

[willedesma]

Admitting it is better than denying it, anyway. *slightly furrows his eyebrows* Why would you pass out an offer like reading The Lord Of The Rings in hard copy? 'Di 'to yung hard copy na yung cover is yung cast print. It's the original thick one.

*lightly smiles* I never thought I could hear that coming from you. I understand, it’s okay though, I guess we’re in the same boat. Oh, and thanks for the offer but I would have to pass.

[willedesma]

"Yeah, pero ang hirap kaya. Masakit sa ulo kahit may enhanced abilities na 'ko." He walked over to do the start button and glanced at her. "Your turn." He watched as she headed towards the center. He asked her if she was ready before pressing the start button. "Ready?" He wasn't ready, though, but he couldn't back down now.

All Over Again || WillHia Para

[willedesma]

DYWTKAS || Task

After much thinking, I decided to write it down because I read that if you came to realize your fears and what-nots, it'll help you. Okay then...

Fears:

>Failing Math (or any subject in general)- well thank God I didn't but if I were in college (thanks a lot WARP) I sure hope I don't

>Losing a friend or family- pretty self-explanatory. Especially now that I'm part of WARP, everything is more dangerous.

>When the Earth suddenly brings an earthquake or something (fire maybe) when I'm in the shower- the idea is there >Someone suddenly turning villain and uses his/her power against us- I don't want a Bucky Barnes. > turning back to the old me. no one wants that. i dont, too.

Greatest Achievements:

>Graduating- who wouldn't consider this? >Actually winning a CTF as the leader >Finishing the whole LOTR (The Hobbit not included) series without going to the bathroom >Realizing a lot of things that I don't want to enumerate anymore. It's best to stay in my head.

Ally or Enemy

>Cayla- Ally but most probably an enemy when it comes to books.

>Summer- Ally. I'd want to fish more information out from her. She's definitely related to Sophia.

[willedesma]

Sorry. Thank You. || Self-Para

It had just come back from a rough journey, but after the repair and slight modifications, it was ready to set sail again. By then, everyone on board was enjoying themselves, oblivious to the events just waiting to shake them off their feet and wring menacingly at their stomachs in anxiety. A storm arose, turning the small and serene waves into ones of danger and rage. It started slamming into the ship’s outer wall. The waves’ roars were ferocious; the life boats would’ve been devoured the moment it made contact with the foaming waters. The storm grew and the ocean was more dangerous than ever. ‘Waves would already reach the deck,’ everyone thought, and they knew it was over. Slowly creeping upon the boat’s sides, mass amounts of water buried the ship. The flood rose higher and higher, the passengers cried louder and louder, but to no avail. The ship, now a dark and depressing wasteland, lies in the deepest abyss. It awaits a rescue that may or may not come, awaits the refuge it so desperately craves.

It was ironic, no? How the very waters that made the ship sail were the ones to entrap it in its cold and lonesome clutches. His heart was the ship. Her words were the ocean.

The ship has sunk.

He wasn’t the type to eavesdrop, but he was glad he did that time. He had an impact on her; he just did not know it was that great. It was due to his insensitivity ― how it enveloped him as a child would cover himself with a blanket at the thought of monsters in their closet. What he heard broke his protective cover. What was he holding on to?

He was lacking so much that it probably scared her. Was he serious? He was. Did he make her feel it? He tried. Did he have a chance? He was in doubt. And, God, he was glad he doubted it. It hurt less that way. It hurt less when she had tried to save it. It hurt less when she cried so much when he was leaving her. It hurt less that it seemed like she forgot all about him. It did hurt less, but it was still painful. Pain was pain. It only differed in intensity.

At school, he got awards for always keeping a flawless attendance record. Always present, always punctual, always prepared for what the day was about to throw at him. Today, though, was an exception. It was a different feeling for him: being late. The thought almost made him laugh. He couldn’t do anything anymore. He wished he had woken up earlier, for Christ’s sake. He wished that the cars on the road would have given way for him.

He wished he had been late for school instead of this.

It was clear what he had to do. He couldn’t always hope that she’ll be there to accommodate him. She wasn’t someone who worked for customer service, anyway. He wanted to say sorry for wasting her time. A part of him wished that she actually enjoyed some of it because he did. He enjoyed most of it and he didn’t want it to end. It was probably their lack in experience that ended it. It wasn’t a reasonable excuse, though, because everyone would’ve started inexperienced.

He didn’t want to let go because of some cliché reason. He would let go because he — also her, probably — knew that this would lead to nothing. Not because he made her happier; he would’ve still let go if the other wasn’t there. Straight like that. It wasn’t his fault. He just made it clearer for him ― you know, see the reality of things. They were just convincing themselves that they could still go on because who would want to waste their first love?

‘Thank you for the experience. You’ve helped me improve myself. Sorry for being so selfish. Everything was there to help me improve not only myself, but it made us both better ― made us realize that there was more to life than just studying and competing. You’ve probably realized that earlier. I had a hard time coping but you’ve helped me through it all. Please know that I did like you. Love even. Sorry we didn’t stick through ‘til the end. Though, not everything does anyway. Thank you.’

It was time for him contemplate again. What was he holding on to? Was it the feeling of not wanting to waste all that effort? Or was it the little hope he had? It didn’t matter anymore. It was not like he was ending everything between them. He’d always be there for her. That was his role, anyway, and he’d gladly portray it.

[willedesma]

It's better read in the actual copy. I have mine with me and this warp's library doesn't have it. What kind of library would not have Lord of the Rings? I could lend it, if you want. *looks away* It's kind of a childish choice but I could strangely relate to it. To Scrooge, I mean.

I haven't read it yet but I'm planning to someday. Books I've read and come to loved would be "A Christmas Carol" and most of Shakespeare's works. 

[willedesma]

And that's exactly my point. So you may like some authors that I really don't and I respect that. Have you read Tolkien's Lord of the Rings? It's my all time favorite. 'Di mo siguro genre yun pero malay natin.

I guess so. Though, most of the books I've read, says something one way or another. Books are written to share with other people and to tell something though no one besides the author know what exactly the message is. Like you said, it depends on the person whether they will let the book or anything else change their perspective or their values in life or even themselves.

[willedesma]

He adjusted his outfit one more time and replied. "Okay." He walked towards the center and waited for Sophia to press the start button. He does not know how to start what he wanted to tell her. It was ironic since people smarts were a part of his enhanced intelligence. It seemed as if she was unconsciously negating that power of his. It happened every time he was talking to her. 

Once she pressed the button, several numbers appeared in front of him. He had to memorize all of it and retype it on the monitor beside him. It would hurt his head when he had to memorize a large amount of information. Thousands of numbers in front of him and he swore his head would rearrange them. He managed to complete the task and the room was filled of congratulatory alarms. 

He held his throbbing head and headed towards Sophia. "Kinakalawang na ata yung powers ko. Gulo-gulo yung numbers buti nga nakayanan ko pa." It was mostly because his mind was occupied with something else; not because he was lacking. 

She shrugged. "Either way is fine, I guess. Ikaw nalang, maybe? Tutal, nakaadjust na yung suot mo."