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But the universe will stay. No matter how many times people tried to leave it broken.
ma.c.a // You and Our Galaxies (via vomitingwords)
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Just be f**king honest about how you feel about people while you’re alive.
John Mayer (via wordsnquotes)
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"You can buy me forever but I'd ask you for a receipt."
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"I realized I wasn't ever your boyfriend I was just your fucking height man."
-Rudy Fransico
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"Don't you dare try to figure me out. Too many people have claimed they could read me like a book then left me on a shelf."
-Jamie Mortara, "Some Things You Need to Know Before Dating Me
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"I want to be your ex-boyfriend's stuntman and do everything he never had the courage to do!"
-Rudy Fransico
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Sleeping Awake
I'm sleeping awake. I'm tired of being tired. I am in the middle of what I thought was a daydream and now I realize it's a majestic nightmare full of clowns with painted on smiles, monsters who pretend to be teddy bears, and people running around with masks with no sense of their true feelings. I am awake in a nightmare that seems to never end. I am to the point where I am afraid to go to sleep with a fear of waking right back up into this perpetual incubus. I am spending my days running from taunting memories of what used to be without hope of what could be. In this nightmare, I am constantly tripping over my own words landing in the sights of my own reflection realizing that I have grown to hate the person staring back at me. I am scared when I am awake. You see I have more skeletons in my closet than a graveyard has holes. I constantly walk on shattered promises that pierce the skin beneath my feet like that glass. I am drowning in a sea of grief only coming up for air when life allows me enough breath to cry out, "Uncle!" My tears are limitless but invisible. I don't cry nearly as often as I should because I was taught that a man that cries isn't a man at all. So I hold my tears in daily trying not suffocate on the amount of regret I keep bottled up inside. I don't like to hunt but I also seem to be the prey of misguided loved. I hate fishing but I find myself in the midst of troubled waters fishing for someone who really cares. I am inflamed in temper by my own mistakes of loving someone that lasts the same amount of time as a sandcastle in the middle of a hurricane. The ground beneath my feet shakes as my body trembles. I fall to my knees not to pray but beg forgiveness for the many sins I have committed against myself. I ask for forgiveness for loving her while being entangled with another. I've always been afraid of heights, however this time this rollercoaster of emotions leaves me going 100 mph with no safety net or seatbelt speeding between loops of misguided trust, hills of impossible expectations, and back down to only go right back up. Now I'm falling into a valley of death only to wake right back up and paint a smile on my face and pretend to be okay.
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