willowbeesstuff

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“I need someone to understand that I get incredibly cold sometimes and it’ll take more than your warmth to pull me from those depths.”

-S.Lilobell (An ocean of thoughts and I’m drowning.)

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The moment you opened your mouth and I heard that accent I knew we had lived two very different lives. But how then did I come to find you so endearing by the end of the night? I could imagine a life with someone like you. Not flashy but not flimsy either. A good listener, a kind heart, capable and smart, and a keen tender interest in my existence. Yes, these things are what I truly value. All else is fluff. A person with whom life can feel like a safe, nurturing space. Like a serene beach with the two of us only. Taking turns resting our head on the other’s lap, talking, laughing, cherishing. For that your height, your religion, your birth place, your reading interests — no, they don’t matter. How you look at me, how you understand me, and how you hold my hand — this does.

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some favorites since i've been home

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“Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just… start.”

— Ijeoma Umebinyuo

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mentally i'm there 🧺🐤🥧

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no such thing as wasting your 20s your 20s are for recovering from whatever the fuck happened to you as a kid so that youre ready to get weird with it in your 30s

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“I’m a vacant mansion by the sea. Back away. / I’m almost dead, and I’m just getting started.”

— — Jessica Abughattas, from “Winona Forever,” Strip: Poems

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This is what i needed.

I am turning off all the emotions inside of me without even wanting to. But it’s not like I am blind. I have been seeing how much harder it is for me now...how hard it is for me now to cry, to feel compassion for others, to feel anything at all. I mean today what finally made me cry was Grey’s Anatomy. The episode where Denny dies. I have so much emotion for the past, both real and fictional. But to feel anything for the present is so hard. I knew a person who was smart and kind but she would always say ‘most humans suck’ and I would look at her and think why. Why would she say that. She doesn’t seem broken or greatly wronged. She seemed sorted to me. She knew what she wanted in life, she kept her romantic life private, she loved her family including her pet dog and she had friends but not in a way where they could have any significant impact on her. I guesss I missed the part in her life where she wasn’t this sorted and where she had been greatly wronged and where she had to heal and re-prioritise everything. Maybe I am in that phase of my life right now. Maybe I am not losing all emotion. Maybe it’s just paused until I figure out what are the things and who are the people I want to direct my precious life towards. And how to first direct it towards my self. It’s kind of like stop loss. In investing there’s this concept where if the stocks you’ve invested in fall below a specific point then you stop your investment there so you minimise your losses. I think the reason this person I knew said most humans suck was because it’s a fact. It wasn’t coming from a bitter or emotional space. It’s just a fact. And you don’t have to depress yourself over that. Or try to fix them. Or even become one of them. I guess you just have to find a way to live your life where you do what really matters to you and along the way find those few who don’t suck and let them in. But not quickly. Not on a whim. Not because you connect and it feels right. No, that’s childish and too 2010. You wait. You live your life and you see how they live their life. And if things work out over time, you’ll know nothing could have changed that. But if they don’t, then you’ve just saved yourself from giving access to a sucky person to your life and mind and heart.

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“‪I’ve been to this place before. I’ve felt this pain before. I know because the cracks on the walls of this black hole feel all too familiar. Why does it hurt more though? Shouldn’t it hurt less as I’ve experienced it before? Why haven’t I grown a tolerance for this pain? Why haven’t I learned anything? How did I end up here again ‬”

— Like a moth that is always flying into the flame.

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“I am yours, when the sun sets to the west and I am yours, when the birds migrate to the east. I am yours, when the winds of change go north and I am yours, when the feathers of hope glide south. I am yours, everywhere you choose to wander and I am yours when you’re lost in the crowd feeling sonder. I am yours.”

— j.d

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i thought with the passing time i would replace what i lost but i became fragile and emptier than before and all left was nothing i would never find a way to bring all my missing pieces together into one

k.m (via fluohrine)

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It’s Bisexual Awareness Week, Tumblr!

This GIF is transparent, by the way. If you’re into transparent art, feel free to download, edit, upload, bring awareness to BiWeek, have the time of your lives.

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As poets we keep The words alive by kissing The pen to paper– Shock waves ripple from Our fingers and all we love Is a lightning dance. Sometimes I wonder If keeping them alive makes Them into monsters. But then I slowly Remember that I still need Those pieces of me.

A haiku story written with fire and flowers // n.d. & k.c. (via poetryleftbyher)

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Maybe it’s harder for girls and boys to be just friends than I originally thought. Not because one person always falls in love; but because there is always this underlying societal pressure to be more than friends.

I just want to feel comfortable in a room of men, without worrying one of them want something more from me than friendship. (via crashingwaves-burningsouls)