willowmute

[willowmute]

come here so i can pinch you with my clamping beak!

[willowmute]

imagine if there were annoying astrology people who try to make it all a comment on your personality but about the french republican calendar "ohhhh you were born on the day of the chestnut......... this explains so much"

[willowmute]

i've been nominated for world's worst urban wildlife photographer

[willowmute]

we've accepted the adjacency of bdsm to improvisational theater and tabletop roleplaying. but there's another, darker truth. there is a set of skills that overlap highly with another career path. lockpicking. sleight of hand. that's right. the widely reviled... the stage magician

[willowmute]

workers of the world unite INCLUDES the ants farming aphids on the apple sapling in my garden

[willowmute]

my fervent dream is to live in a house with external shutters. unfortunately achieving this likely involves becoming french

[willowmute]

if you get in a bad enough way the human doctors will try to stick a needle in you to get the air out; most of the time they put a one-way valve in you afterwards. & unfortunately unlike other animals we don't blow up like a big balloon

[willowmute]

i feel like artificial insemination isn't even the weirdest thing we do to cows. i learned how cows that are super bloated are treated??? apparently you just... poke 'em and let the gas out. (medically necessary care, just goofy)

yeah!!!!! you loterally just poke a hole in their side and it fixes them(after exhausting other treatment options) !!!??? gd bless !!

for anyone thats curious as to what this looks like

skip to about 2 minutes!

[willowmute]

35 year old guy i added on steam: Heh, well, I might be on tomorrow. You know how it is, with a kid and all- their schedule is your schedule

12 year old me: Totally get it man

[willowmute]

still think waking up from open heart surgery and immediately reading Banks' The Bridge and then after i was discharged The Futurological Congress is one of most hilarious things i've done. derealisation disorder speedrun attempt

[willowmute]

finally broken in my orthotic shoes and i am gamboling unwisely around the forest like a flighty deer

[willowmute]

would love a pathologist to sign off on my benign nature

describing someone to a friend: "um slightly taller than you, light brown hair, macroscopically normal"

[willowmute]

describing someone to a friend: "um slightly taller than you, light brown hair, macroscopically normal"

[willowmute]

b e d t o g o. you can go to bed to go

[willowmute]

I love the past. that shit is good or bad depending

[willowmute]

cup-and-ring Follow

anyone want 2 meet up by my carving? maybe make some more on the next rock over or smth

107 notes

ruminants4life Follow

Ten Things The Druids Don't Want You To Know About Midsummer: The True Purpose Of The Stones Will Surprise You

3 notes

tussock-liker02 Follow

Who grazed on my holy grounds

[willowmute]

i'm normal, no dysphonia here. i can speak normally on the telephone