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The Golden Girls – 5.21: Sisters and Other Strangers

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It's Magic, Charlie Brown (1981) dir. Phil Roman

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#exactly

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Anyways, now I'm failing. Isn't that funny?

MEAN GIRLS 2004, dir. Mark Waters

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I can’t believe that you actually were think about my brother because of the reunion. The fame will get to his head again. You know what’s funny is that he at one point did mention you living in LA but it was such a random moment that it even took me a second to get. He was walking with Nick in front of me and a random person walked by and they had a shirt that had two women kissing on it and he pointed and said to him ‘that could be her!’ And then he pointed at someone else with an actual towel wrapped around their head (like when you just shower) and he went ‘OR THAT!’ And then that went on for like a good minute and it was always a certain types of people (usually queer presenting but mostly ones he thought looked cool.) And when we finally sat down at a bar, our waitress came to us and she had tattoos and one of them was this really cool tattoo of a woman’s body and it was like a sculpture and this dumbass went and said ‘or it could be her..times are rough, maybe she got a second job’ and when i finally asked what was going on, Nick just took a deep sigh and went ‘he is trying to locate his queer as folk bestie.’ And then they had a whole convo that went something like this: Nick: ‘you can’t just randomly locate a random person by walking around on a street’ My brother: ‘yes, you can. She found me when i ran out after Craig was a dick’ N: ‘you were limping. You barely made it down the street! What are you gonna do? You can’t just sniff her out like a dog’ My brother: *dead silent for 5 minutes and Nick thought he won this argument* ‘you know how whales have echolocation?’

Anyway, he did not locate you clearly. He also gave up after he spotted that tattoo on the waitress and went ‘oh cool!!! Wanna see mine?’ And then he pulled up his sleeve to reveal a tattoo of a badly drawn (as if a kid drew it with their left hand) raccoon with a knife standing in an ally and under it, it says ALLY! And by standing in an ally i mean, two lines are drawn on each side.

He also told half of the family about his 15 minutes of fame on a super secret website because he forgot the word tumblr which unfortunately (not really it was hilarious) resulted in our grandma coming up to him and asking him what only fans is and slipping him 50$ to help him out bc someone understood him wrong and thought he hit a rough patch. The only time this man was actually a bit embarrassed, he still answered tho.

Also turns out he forgot to tell some family members about Nick and his new found queerness until the day before the wedding (well in his defense, he said he can’t remember if he told, but that he for sure knows he told them something very important about his life), but just in case, he decided to tackle it by sending a picture of him with Nick and a text saying ‘joined the alphabet mafia last year’. Which was a very him thing to do ngl. However turns out my dad and Nick had a bet going on with my mom and grandma behind his back that he did forget to come out/mention Nick and that the important info was actually Brian. And if you read that and went dad and Nick won for sure, you would be 1000% correct. Because when we got to the wedding, half of the family came up to Nick and went ‘ahhh so you must be the famous Brian! He couldn’t stop talking about you. So happy you are healthy enough to travel’

Our whole family has given up because somehow Nick actually thought this was hilarious and adorable, meanwhile my dad was happy that he won a bet against our mom. Don’t let the man’s grumpy behavior towards my brother fool you, it’s him that my brother gets this bullshit from. (He once forgot that he was in his own brother’s wedding and forgot to take time off work, so he skipped work after an hour of being there and showed up to the wedding in his uniform…)

And he somehow managed to get the DJ to play Accidentally in love 3 times in a row. He is lucky he’s the favorite cousin of the whole family.

Oh and in case anybody wondered, yes. The man did end up telling people about Britin/qaf in detail (not graphic!! He behaved. But he did talk about prom a lot) and my cousin sent me a photo the photographer captured of him mid talking (hands flying everywhere) and Nick looking at him with the biggest smile and absolute heart eyes and it is the cutest fucking photo ever. It did make my dad groan because ‘why are you encouraging this bullshit!!!’

Hope you guys are all doing well!!

I am totally screaming!!! I was not very out and about last weekend (which is why I didn’t go to the panel). I’ve got a big presentation at work coming up and was focused on that like a nerd all weekend. (So no second job… for now!)

But hold up. He forgot to come out to the family and he spoke about qaf so much that when he did, everyone assumed he was dating Brian?!? I am dead over this.

Also your dad nearly missing his own brother’s wedding… the apple did not fall far from that tree!!

The photo of your brother with Nick looking on in love? How sweet is that?!? We should all be so lucky!

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JURASSIC PARK (1993) dir. Steven Spielberg

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Seinfeld – 4.14: The Visa

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Your icon is violently in love with you for 5 weeks how screwed are you

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Jaws 1975 | Steven Spielberg

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A tiger for my little Calvin

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TED LASSO (2020– ) S01E03 | Trent Crimm: The Independent

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We didn't have... we'd lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night. When I said I would never leave you. And you never will. But I've got a job to do too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble. But it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that.

If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it.

Casablanca (1942) dir. Michael Curtiz

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I wish the goblins would come and take you away. Right now.

LABYRINTH (1986)

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WEDNESDAY — The Devil You Woe, 2.02

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This boomer comic incinerated every “I hate my wife” comic instantly