wingdingdaddy

[wingdingdaddy]

the batfam clocked that something might up regarding Jason’s death because when Damian came to Gotham he spoke like a victorian school boy 98% of the time UNLESS he was in a passionate debate/argument with somebody, at which point he would for some baffling reason unknowingly slip into a thick Crime Alley accent complete with slang terms and insults/sayings that the family have only ever heard spewed from Jason’s mouth. it blindsides them every fucking time and Damian doesn’t even realise he does it, just subconsciously picking up traits from his big brother back at nanda parbat without noticing.

[wingdingdaddy]

Winner Takes It All

In which a family of detective's notice a suspiciously lucky trend when it comes to Jason's girlfriend.

Jason Todd x fem reader, no use of Y/N

All fluff, mostly slice of life, based of WFA for this one.

Enjoy this one! The next post is angst 😈🙏🔥

______________________________________________________________

“You’re not gonna win. You never do.” Dick says, elbowing Tim as they play against each other in Mario Kart, after finishing a long case.

“Stop elbowing me!” Tim kicks at him, and it isn’t long before they’re trying to multitask kicking each other while playing.

“You’re both children.” Jason says as he walks in, with a raised brow at the two men, they glare back at him, and see you walking in behind him.

“This is pretty on par.” You say, shrugging it off, not nearly as disappointed with the two as Jason is. 

Jason just rolls his eyes at them, giving you a shoulder squeeze as he goes to the library to grab what he came here for. Meanwhile, you lean on the back of the couch, watching the two play.

Dick addresses you in the middle of kicking Tim while trying to button smash at the same time, “Tell him I’m gonna win, obviously.”

You hum in thought. “Who’s playing as Rosalina?”

“Me!” Tim says, kneeing Dick again.

“Oh, well obviously I have to be on Tim’s side. Rosalina is the best character.” You nod, maybe your choice was purely for aesthetics but– its Princess Rosalina.

“What?!” Dick exclaims, and Tim laughs.

“She knows what she's talking about!” Tim says, pushing Dick’s leg off of him.

Dick rolls his eyes. “No, Toad is the best. And that’s why I’m gonna win–”

“I won.” Tim interrupts.

Dick stares at the screen slack jawed.

Jason walks back in, looks at the screen, looks at Dick, and then shrugs as he motions to you that he’s ready to leave.

Dick finally manages to glare at Tim five minutes later. “You got lucky! It was only because she rooted for you.”

Tim snorts. “Just admit you lost, dude.”

“No way! She’s a good luck charm. When have you ever beat me in Mario Kart on this map before?” 

Tim considers that. 

“Huh… what do you say to a science experiment?

______________________________________________________________

“I’m telling you, it’s definitely Kite-Man. Who else would be behind something as lame as this?” Steph asks, scoffing at the idea of it being anyone else. “Plus there was a kite at the scene.”

“Yeah. Which was at the park. Kites are in parks. That's what they do.” Duke counters, taking a seat at the kitchen counter, near Jason and you, the former seemed to show no interest in the conversation at all, but you turned to look at them.

“What’s this all about?” You ask with a raised brow.

“Someone stole all the hot dog carts at the park.” Steph sighs, bored by the mundane crime. Tim glances up, intrigued, but not because of the crime.

“My bets on Kite-Man.” Tim says, nonchalant. “..What about you?” He raises a brow as he looks at you.

“Uh– I’ll side with Duke. Keeps things even.”

“Thank you!” Duke seems genuinely touched.

Tim then pulls up the case notes on his computer, and looks for the latest police update.

“Well, what do you know? Not Kite Man.” Tim grins. This was sound evidence for him. Maybe you were lucky, after all..

Steph whips her head to Tim, eyes wide. “What?! Who?”

“Condiment King.”

“Fuck. I should have guessed that!”

______________________________________________________________

Four card games between Dick and Steph, a race between Cass and Duke, and three rounds of chess between Tim and Damian later, Tim and Dick reached the conclusion that you were, in fact, good luck.

However, in a family of detectives, it didn’t take long for a majority of the others to pick up on their scheme. Or to realize you were a good luck factor. 

“I’m gonna win. Obviously.” Tim declared, confidently at the dinner table as they finished up– they were having a family dinner for once, and afterwards they were going to have a round of Mario Kart… which meant the winner only had to ensure one thing.

“Fat chance!” Dick scoffs, immediately giving into his competitive spirit with that comment.

“No. I am.. You should root for me.” Tim says, suddenly addressing you now.

“Tempting— but maybe I should sit this out with Jay.” You knew how game night went with this family, and you did not want to get in the middle of that. 

“Or you could root for your favorite person?” Duke buts in, smiling as he slides his dessert plate towards you as a bribe.

“He’s gonna lose.” Tim points out, pulling the plate away.

“I’m gonna kick your ass!” Duke retorts,ripping the plate away from Tim.

“No— she should root for me instead! Root for me, please!” Dick says, bringing his hands together as he begs.

You just laugh, but Jason looks completely annoyed by them now. Since when did they care who she was rooting for?

“No! She’s rooting for me—” Tim starts again, swatting at Dick as he tries to push Tim further away from you.

“If she’s truly as smart as Todd says, she’ll root  for me, obviously.” Damian interjects, a proud look on his face as he crosses his arms. 

Jason narrows his eyes. Okay, what was going on here?

Steph rolls her eyes. “Guys— stop it. This is all childish.”

The boys share a look, feeling a bit called out now. 

Dick looks at you. “We aren’t trying to make you feel uncomfor—“ 

“Obviously she’s rooting for me.” Steph says, interrupting him, standing up at the table as she grabs you by the shoulders. 

“Oh fuck you, you did that for dramatic effect—“ Dick slams his hands on the table.

“Like you aren’t the drama, Circus boy!”

You shake your head, deciding then would be a good time to go use the bathroom, because evidently— they would notice if you weren’t there during the actual games.

As soon as you’re out of sight, Jason turns back to everyone else.

“Okay, what the fuck is this all about?” He glares at them.

“Nothing!” 

“What’s what about?”

“None of your concern, Todd.”

“Language.”

They all respond, obviously too quick and dismissive with their responses.

“…I’m gonna ask one more time.” He says, slowly, making eye contact with everyone.

“…okay, fine— she’s good luck. That’s all.” Duke says, shrugging.

That gives Jason pause.

“What?”

Tim butts in, “Anytime anyone has a game or a bet— whoever she sides with always wins. I thought it was an anomaly at first but.. it’s happened too many times to not be a trend.”

“She’s like a lucky rabbit's foot.” Steph provides, leaning back in her chair.

Jason mulls over that thought. Anytime he played Mario Kart or a card game against Roy, he *did* usually win.. he thought he was just a natural but— he only won when she was home, too. He lost when she wasn’t there.

“…maybe there’s some truth to that.” Jason admits.

“See!” Dick says, glad this didn’t end in argument but also— he noticed it first, so he felt vindicated.

“Now we shall let her pick a team.” Damian says, ready to convince her why she should root for him.

“No.” Jason says, smirking a bit as he shakes his head. “..you really thought this would change anything? She’s going to root for me— and I’ll wipe the floor with you all.”

There’s a pause as everyone stares at him in either disbelief or anger.

“..I fear we made an error.” Tim mutters.

“I’m definitely playing now. Guaranteed to win? I mean— I probably would have won anyways.” Jason brags, standing up as he’s ready to go to the living room and start these games.

“You cheater!” Steph accuses, slamming her hand down on the table.

“We were trying to do the same thing though..?” Duke adds, scratching the back of his neck.

You walk back in— raising a brow at Jason as he’s standing up.

“Eager?” You ask, smiling creeping onto your face. “I thought you didn’t want to play?”

He wraps his arm around your shoulder as he leads you to the living room, you could make out his family’s argument and protests from behind you.

“Changed my mind. As long as I have you on my side, I’ll always win.” He smiles cheekily at you.

“How romantic.” You say sarcastically, raising a brow at his sudden affinity to participate in game night.

He grins at you, “And they say chivalry is dead.”

“…is this about me being a boon?” You question, side eyeing him with a soft smile.

“You knew?” He widens his eyes, pausing to look at you as you both stand in the living room door frame.

You snort. “Hard not to. They made it fairly obvious.”

“…you still gonna root for me?”

“Always.”

[wingdingdaddy]

Extra angst if Dick has taken over as Batman again, and it's him with Clark and Diana behind him that finally unmask the new Demons Head

And it's not the cold dead eyes that don't recognize them that makes them recoil, but that these eyes do recognize them but in a way you would look at an ant under your boot

Uncaring, Unfeeling

And they have to tell the other kids. They have to tell Alfred. They all try pleading with him to come back. Alfred tries pleading with him, invoking Thomas and Martha, reminding him of when it was just the two of them growing up in the manor

And those eyes looking at them all, the kids always wondered if he really loved them and it's the absence of that love in his eyes that hits home that once upon a time he did

And Alfred doesn't see the crushed eyes of that sad little boy, or the broken down eyes of the man that came back from training, he doesn't know who this man is

THIS

GOD DAMN IT WHY DOES THAT SLAP SO HARD

[wingdingdaddy]

Dick was the last to be adopted, Jason became the black sheep post-resurrection, Tim made himself Robin, Damian was dropped in Gotham after ten years of being kept secret, Cass possesses killer instincts that run counter to Batman's philosophy, Duke is a meta whose parents are still alive (albeit jokerized), and Steph has zero legal connections to the Waynes. All of the batkids have reason to believe they're the only one Bruce doesn't want around and Bruce is unaware of the problem because they don't vocalize it not just out of the usual emotional constipation, but also a deep-seated fear of being proven right. In this essay, I will—

[wingdingdaddy]

~memories of the 80s~

[wingdingdaddy]

the audacity of the official dc account to even post this 😭

[wingdingdaddy]

Some more Jason please enjoy the crumbs

[wingdingdaddy]

Tim: I need you two to stop writing fake articles about me and submitting them to the Gotham Gazette.

Damian: How could you possibly think that would be us?

Jason: Yeah, why would we ever do something like that?

Tim: Look at this headline! "Average Person Eats 8 Spiders a Year in Their Sleep Proven False - Timothy Drake, CEO, Who Eats 16,000 Spiders Every Day, Was an Outlier And Should Not Have Been Counted."

Jason: Maybe avoid eating those in the future.

[wingdingdaddy]

*phone call*

Jason; I’m sorry, Talia. I can’t kill Bruce.

Talia: You asked me yesterday if I could “break Bruce out of the afterlife so I can kill him over and over.”

Jason: Yeah…that would have been fun. But he’s given me an offer I can’t refuse.

Talia: He killed the clown?

Jason: He gave me a first edition Pride and Prejudice book. It says by a lady instead of Jane Austen.

Talia: You are sacrificing months of training and planning for a book?

Jason: I’m weak, Talia. I’m weak.

[wingdingdaddy]

bruce: *frantically* have you seen damian????

dick: *frowning* what? no . . . wait, did you LOSE HIM??

tim: *walking by* have you checked jason's apartment?

bruce: *horrified* what would he be doing there? god, i thought we made sure they would never interact!

dick: *grabbing his shoes so he can run out the oor* we've gotta get to them before they decide to add arson or manslaughter to the schedule today

tim: *frowning as he watches bruce and dick run from the manor* what the fuck?

meanwhile at jason's apartment

damian: *taking notes in one hand while he holds a book with the other* this wickham fellow is surely a crook. not a single one of his interactions with lady bennet has been devoid of suspicious moments.

jason: *nodding sagely as he cleans a gun* i ain't gonna spoil anythin' but you're on the right track

[wingdingdaddy]

Jason, being a semi-canonic common hallucination in the family after his death, could lead to the stupidest AU ever.

Imagine everyone seeing him — Bruce, half of the time, Dick non-stop, Tim more often than not, and eventually even Alfred starts seeing little boy's silhouette in the corner of his eye, but he never admits it, because someone needs to stay sane in this family.

It is a lot like real-life cases when cult families start to see collective hallucination, and it somehow syncronises in their minds, so they hear and see the same things, you know?

So, yeah, everyone sees Jaybin around.

Everyone but Damian. Damian is a normal one. He also knows his Akhi is alive and well, so whatever. And it takes him some time to figure out that his family is bat-shit insane, but when he does, he decides to use it on his advantage.

Damian, calling Jason: Akhi, you should visit me. It is getting awfully boring here.

Jason, frowning: You know I can't. They think I am dead, and I can't risk my plan, especially now, when Red Hood is gaining-

Damian: We will pretend you are a hallucination.

Jason: ...What?

Damian: So, there is a plan...

So, a few days after this call, Jason arrives at the Wayne Manor. He still thinks his brother's plan sucks, but gaslighting is one of his many talents, so surely, they will figure something out. He can lie his way through this meeting.

Expect, he doesn't even need to lie. His family is actually insane.

Bruce, bumping in Jason:

Jason, staring back: Uh-

Bruce: Wow. You look so grown-up. And we look so alike. Nice one, brain.

Jason: ?..

Tim, leaving his room: Hi, B, hi- Oh, damn. Hi, Jaybin. Nice leather jacket.

Bruce: Right? I guess his ghost just grows up with us now.

Jason: ????

Alfred, nodding along, out of nowhere: Master Dick will hate it. He looks taller now.

All of them: (peacefully leave the room)

Jason: What. The. Fuck.

Jason waits for the moment of clarity to happen as he chats with Damian in the kitchen, but... nothing changes. They really, really think he is a hallucination. So... he starts hanging out around more. Both because Damian is getting angsty, and because it is kinda... amusing.

Tim, stuck on the same case for a few nights, non-stop: Oh, it is really just me and you in this, Jason.

Jason, playing Mario Cart on the table by his side: Maybe take a nap, dude.

Tim: No, I need to figure out this case with-

Jason, rolling his eyes: Red Hood had already dealt with it. Go to sleep.

Tim: ...You are such a good self-care kind of hallucination.

Jason: ...

Damian: Your bets, when will they realise that you are a real person?

Jason: At this point, I am not sure that they will, even if I start screaming that I am real.

Damian: Fair. I bet a year would do.

Jason: ...A year and a half.

Dick visits the Manor. He cooes at Jason, muttering something about "of course, he would have grown up in a punk," and Jason almost breaks his role to hit him on the head.

Jason, arms folded on his chest: You know, you need serious help, dad.

Bruce, blinking at him slowly: Probably. You know what else I need?

Jason: Sleep? Retirement? To stop adopting strays? The list is endless, man.

Bruce: ...Coffee. I need more coffee.

Jason, groaning: What the fuck!!!

Alfred figures out that Jason is real, eventually. Solely because he catches him sneaking a few extra cookies, and hallucinations are not supposed to eat. He plays along with him and Damian until the very end, anyway.

(Damian ends up winning the bet because Jason loses it once and pushes Bruce down the stairs, when he starts reciting some precautionary tale about him. Everyone is flabbergasted.)

[wingdingdaddy]

the grip tumblr has on society while being universally believed to be dead

[wingdingdaddy]

I wonder how well known the Batman “no kill” policy is. Like when he joins justice league it would make sense for it to be known as a PR necessity. But year one or two?

There are a lot of scary things in the shadows of Gotham. Not every villain takes credit for every crime. For the first few months everyone would assume he had a body count.

And Batman’s not giving out business cards, he doesn’t start every interrogation with a miranda warning. Anyone who wakes up in the ICU will assume they survived, not that they were spared.

[wingdingdaddy]

POOR TIM IM HOWLING

Just the BatFam forgetting that Damian has a grandfather who was not obsessed with him on Bruce's side of the family.

Alfred: Everytime I see Master Damian, he always reminds me of his grandfather.

Dick, scowling: Ra's?

Alfred: ...You do know Master Wayne existed, right?

——————

Alfred, after knowing about Damian volunteering at hospitals: Master Damian really takes after his grandfather. Maybe one day he'll be a doctor too.

Jason, sputtering: Since when does the Demon Head Ra's al Ghul care about healthcare?

Alfred: I don't know, but I do know Thomas Wayne did.

——————

Alfred: Master Damian once mentioned he wanted to become like his grandfather.

Cass: ...Didn't he talk about how much he hated Ra's before?

Alfred: Sighs.

——————

Alfred: What do you think of Master Damian entering the healthcare industry like his grandfather?

Tim, screeching: NO!

Alfred: ...

——————

Alfred: Master Damian has his grandfather's face, doesn't he?

Bruce, squinting: Ra's...? No... not really. Well, not to me.

Alfred: I meant your father, Master Bruce. Have you forgotten that Master Damian is your biological son?

Bruce: ...Oh shit.

[wingdingdaddy]

Thinking about bat boys attending cons dressed as themselves

- Dick wears the Discowing ever. Single. Time. Frequent con goers know him on sight, he’s always popular. He pretends to be extremely clumsy and un-acrobatic.

- Tim goes one year and enters a Robin look alike contest. He gets second place. First place went to a 40 year old man wearing a handmade version of one of the earlier suits. As in, the suits without pants. (Granted it was well made). Tim is fuming and Jason won’t let him hear the end of it

-Jason wears the bat suit one time and enters a Batman look alike contest. He doesn’t even fucking place. It’s Tim’s turn to rub it in now

-Damian refused to go for the longest time, saying it was a “juvenile and idiotic venture.” He finally caves and comes when Tim shows him a picture of a dog in a robin costume. For the next con, Damian brings Titus in a Batman costume. Dami dresses as Nightwing (Dick cries).

[wingdingdaddy]

To this day, I think the crack-au with Jason joining Bruce Wayne alike competition for fun and accidentally winning, and this becoming a reason why the whole Batfamily finds out that Jason is alive in the first place, is the funniest version of a fix-it scenario.

[wingdingdaddy]

Dick's puppy dog eyes are extremely powerful

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)