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how I met your mutual

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consider femme4butch jeff/britta. or call me crazy I Dont Care

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love how Shawn and Gus mainly get around by simply walking in whatever place they need to go. And just asking questions. "hey did you know that dead guy?" and it's always "oh yeah we were sleeping together" and never "WHO ARE YOU" or "HOW DID YOU GET HERE" or "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE"

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This is an illness I tried making lassie dance but his ass is not moving

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outie mark: our wife is being TORTURED. stop having sex with helena eagan and get her OUT!

innie mark: don’t care + didn’t ask + L + ratio + you’re an alcoholic with no drip

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Mark S has lived his entire life hungover and Helly R has lived her entire life hungry. They don’t even know what life is like without their afflictions. They don’t know what it’s like to feel clear and full. To feel well.

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imagine creating a new version of yourself that's free of sin so that you get to go to heaven with your husband and then that version of you ends up falling in love with and dying for another man fields im sorry to say but it's fucking over for you

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I hope Devon leaves her loser sellout failhusband for the slightly unhinged fugitive brain surgeon living in her brother's basement

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do you think burt and fields know how badly they fucked up by revealing to irving that severance has been going on for way longer than the public knows. do you think they know about his i hate lumon diary and his locked case of secure & confidential documents and his pepe silvia wall of corridor paintings. or do you think they sent him on his way with his little tupperware out the door. baby yall picked the WRONG motherfucker to invite to your little ham & cuckolding soiree

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i can't believe "You were thinking about Wilson during sex? That's so cool, so was I!" is a real quote from House

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Okay Severance is the best show out there but I genuinely believe it would be elevated to another entire level if they add a little box in the right corner showing Ms Cobel's live reaction to everything going down in the episodes that she wasn't in

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Very funny that Lumon is constantly lying to people like "oh your innie got in a fight" :/, "yeah, you feel off a rope and got a little wet :(", and " whoops! You bonked your head a little bit!"

But with Burt they decided to straight up be like. "Yeah so you have a GAY LOVER and we MUST fire you"

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i know wilson gets sex dreams about house but just ignores them

house gets sex dreams about wilson and will tell pretty much anyone whether they asked or not

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i'm rotating them

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I’m dizzy ohuhgh