wintersharma

[wintersharma]

Do You Ever Feel Like You're the Second Choice?

Doesn’t matter if it’s in friendships, relationships, or opportunities—being the second choice always hurts. It’s heartbreaking to realize that no matter how much effort you put in, you’re still not the first pick.I’m an 18-year-old girl, preparing to step into college, and for a long time, I didn’t let this thought consume me. Sure, there were moments when I shed tears over it, but I never truly acknowledged the weight of always being “the second.” I brushed it off, convinced myself it didn’t matter.Until one evening, when a single comment changed everything.

The Moment of Realization

That day, I was sitting with my younger cousin, doing a casual photoshoot. I love experimenting with makeup, even though I don’t have the “perfect” things for it. As we sat in my room, her eyes wandered over my shelves—stacked with medals, certificates, and trophies from years of hard work.And then, she said something that cut deep."You are always the second. Doesn’t matter if it’s in academics, sports, or anything else—you’re always second."I laughed it off, but inside, it hit me like a wave. A 12-year-old had pointed out something I had refused to acknowledge all my life.I looked back, and for the first time, I saw the pattern. In my family, friendships, and relationships, I was never the first. Never someone’s first best friend. Never someone’s first love. Just… second. And being second? It hurts.I once read that men never forget their first love. And it made me wonder—would I ever experience what it’s like to be someone’s first choice? Or am I always going to be the second?An Incident That Still Stays With Me One of the earliest memories of feeling like the second choice goes back to when I was 10.I had just joined a new tuition class, where I met a group of girls. One of them was a familiar face—we went to the same school, lived nearby, and had family connections. I thought this meant she would be my friend, that she would stand by me.But she didn’t.The other girls formed a trio, and I was just the extra. Over time, it became more than just feeling left out—I was getting bullied. It wasn’t the obvious kind of bullying, but the quiet, painful kind that eats away at you mentally. I wasn’t a strong child, emotionally or mentally, and that made everything worse.One day, desperate for support, I told my familiar friend, “You should be with me. You should give me priority too—I’m your friend.”But she refused. Because I wasn’t her first choice.That day, in the middle of the street, she slapped me. Hard.And then she said something I’ll never forget."You are so ugly. And you… you laugh like a donkey."Maybe those words were meaningless to her. Maybe they were just something she said in the moment.But to me, they became a loop in my mind, an echo that never stopped.And that was the moment I truly started believing that I was the second choice.Does It Ever Change?I don’t have an answer yet. I don’t know if this feeling ever goes away, or if one day I’ll finally be someone’s first choice. But what I do know is that I’m tired of believing that being second means I’m less worthy.Because maybe being the second choice doesn’t mean I’m not good enough. Maybe it just means I haven’t found the right people yet.Maybe one day, I will.- --Final Thoughts & Call to Action

have you ever felt like the second choice? If you have, I want to hear your story. Maybe we’re not alone in this after all. Let’s talk in the comments.