wirelessnetworksystem - Tumblr blog

[wirelessnetworksystem]

I can’t lie being a system is kinda embarrassing sometimes. Like why did I have to get the disorder that makes me wake up in the psych ward because I was apparently having a screaming match with myself in two different voices

[wirelessnetworksystem]

Helping A Headmate Post-Dormancy

It can be really sad when a headmate goes dormant, and when they resurface, they may be upset, disoriented, and confused! This is a little guide on how to handle headmates exiting dormancy, and how to help them have a smooth transition back to every day life.

Disclaimer: This post is written from our experience and research into dormancy, and is not meant to be an end-all-be-all guide. We hope this post is useful, but it’s never meant to be a stand-in for therapy or professional help and resources.

What is dormancy?

Dormancy occurs in systems when a headmate seemingly vanishes, disappears, ceases communication, or otherwise cannot be reached by other members of the system. It is a pretty common occurrence - many systems have members who experience dormancy at some point in their lives.

Why do headmates go dormant?

A system member may go dormant for a wide variety of reasons. Some may go dormant due to being overwhelmed or faced with extreme circumstances that they otherwise aren’t used to. Conversely, some may go dormant when they system has reached a point of low stress, where everyone feels safe and secure. Sometimes the brain just decides a particular headmate isn’t needed for the time being and causes them to go dormant. It’s not always easy to pinpoint exactly why a headmate went dormant!

What is it like to come out of dormancy?

This also may vary from system to system and headmate to headmate. For some, it may feel like waking up from a long sleep. For others, it feels like time suddenly skipped 1, 5, or 10 years into the future. Headmates coming out of a dormancy may feel hazy, confused, upset, frustrated, or overwhelmed. They may be alarmed at not being able to recognize the body, their surroundings, or their loved ones. Or, they may readjust to every day life quickly with very few issues. Again, every system is different, and your headmates deserve to be treated as unique individuals!

How can my system help my headmate readjust to life?

There’s a few things you and your system can do to help a headmate who’s just come out of a dormancy:

1. Be prepared to answer basic questions, like “What year is it?” “Where am I/Where do we live?” “How old is the body?” along with more difficult questions like “Are we still in touch with people from our past?” “What are some current events/what’s happening in the world?” Remember there are no bad, wrong, or stupid questions and don’t judge your headmate for asking something that you had assumed was obvious.

2. Don’t expect them to front right away, or even want to interact with the system often. Coming out of a dormancy can be a jarring experience, and your headmate may need to take some time alone to readjust on their own terms. Even if you had really missed this headmate, it’s important to respect their wishes and give them space when they ask for it.

3. Recognize that dormancy may have changed or largely impacted the affected headmate, and they might not be the same as they were before they went dormant. They may have new ways of thinking and viewing themself, new opinions and ideas, and may even want to start going by a new name. Please give your system member room to explore their identity and grow how they wish, and don’t hold them up to expectations that were there before the dormancy.

4. Understand compromises may have to be made. The headmate might wish to return to an old way of life that your system doesn’t wish to return to. Keep an open dialogue, and be prepared to have difficult conversations, make sacrifices, and set boundaries. Communication is key for any system, and this especially goes for working with headmates post-dormancy to help them find a way of life that suits both them and the system. If they can’t return to their old ways, be ready to explain why in simple terms and provide support however you can.

5. Listen to them! Maybe none of these things will help your headmate who is readjusting to life, and that’s okay! Keep an open mind, hear them out, and try to accommodate them however you can, within reason. If some of your headmates have issues with the recently awoken headmate, look at some conflict resolution skills and try to work things out together. Know that clashes are sometimes inevitable, and be prepared to try and resolve potential issues in a fair and diplomatic way.

Where can I learn more about dormancy?

You can start by checking out these links!

And if you’re not already, consider speaking to a therapist about dormancy, your headmates, and how a dormant headmate may affect your system. Therapists are trained mental health professionals, and they may have good advice that can help your system cope with a headmate going dormant or waking up from a dormancy.

Questions? Comments? Thoughts on dormancy you’d like to share? Feel free to reach out - we’d love to hear from you!

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

[wirelessnetworksystem]

[Text: This introject doesn't like people treating them like their source.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use!

[wirelessnetworksystem]

I love seeing Bella and Blue bond over jellyfish and bioluminescence. They were both some of the older alters that split to cover the old host’s big fears and they really haven’t interacted much to my knowledge since I became the host so it’s nice to see them being friendly nowadays :)

[wirelessnetworksystem]

You don’t need a system name, you don’t need a system aesthetic, you don’t need a collective identity. You don’t need to put your whole system– or any aspect of it– online in order to be a system.

You can just exist, you don’t need to make every aspect of your system public. You’re still a system even without a system name or collective pronouns or a system blog.

[wirelessnetworksystem]

a “horror” movie where the main character had DID/OSDD and they’re possessed by a demon but didn’t realize because the system just thinks there’s a new alter

[wirelessnetworksystem]

That actually brings up something I’ve been wanting to address.

Listen. As helpful as it can be to have a community here, there are ideas that can make people expect things that actually aren’t common, or think that what IS common is a sign of something wrong, and these ideas permeate across the tumblr communities.

If you don’t know how many alters you have, that’s common.

If you have periods where you can’t tell who you are, that’s common.

If you have a blackout when normally you remember what happened, that’s common.

If you remember the basic idea of what happened but not details, that’s common.

If you find a lot of your alters behave similarly, that’s common.

If you can’t speak with your alters, that’s common.

If you have trouble identifying when an alter showed up, that’s common.

If you can’t figure out why an alter split, or what their job might be, that’s common.

If you find yourself behaving differently but having no control over it or didn’t switch, that’s common.

If you have trouble identifying key parts of yourself (things you like, your skills, your favorite things), that’s common.

The entire concept, the #1 symptom of any dissociative disorder, is that you have trouble connecting with the world around you, with your thoughts and your emotions, and your identity. This lack of self-identity (or lack of awareness of your self-identity) is a key feature of dissociative disorders. Because you never fully formed a complete concept of your identity and emotional responses to experiences, you do not have a stable concept of yoir identity.

This causes ‘fuzziness’ where you’re not quite sure about yourself. When you’re faced with the same situation twice, you might have very different responses. Your emotions don’t make sense to you and you aren’t sure why you feel them at all, or you aren’t sure if they’re real. Your thoughts go in different directions, even contradicting themselves, making it difficult to figure out where you stand on something, or what to do, or who you are. Your behavior changes, reacting differently to similar situations, or having drastic changes in interests and preferences, that you and others consider yourself unpredictable and hard to keep up with. You’re constantly second-guessing. You can’t remember very important information on yourself, but you know you must know it because at some point you did.

Dissociative disorders are a diagnosis for this very struggle, where your identity is a mystery, and you feel disconnected from yourself and your surroundings.

Dissociative Identity Disorder is having two or more distinct identities. They don’t have to have names. They don’t have to behave completely differently. They don’t have to have “jobs” or a reason they exist. They may not serve a function. But they are distinct enough that one can tell they’re almost two different people, and this disrupts the person’s life.

OSDD has multiple references. One is having switches in personality, with no memory loss. Another is having periods of blackouts, but no switches. Another is dissociation brought on by programming. And the fourth is for identities that overlap, but still distinct enough that some dysfunction arises.

Do all systems fit these categories? No.

Is it possible for someone to ‘lose’ their diagnosis if they learn to function? No. (You do not lose a previous mental diagnosis unless you are retested and it is confirmed you never had that disorder. You can learn coping methods, but you’ll never stop having ADHD, or BPD, or PTSD. They still affect you, but you know how to handle it. If you no longer had it, you wouldn’t have the symptoms in the first place.)

Can you have dissociation without alters? Yes.

Can you have alters that are blurry and have no defined identity? Yes.

Can you have times you don’t know who you are, but haven’t switched? Yes.

Can you have inconsistent personality changes? Yes.

Can you know who you are, but it feels wrong or fake, and you haven’t switched? Yes.

Can you and your alters ‘blend’ and be unable to separate each other’s distinct differences? Yes.

Can you have no idea what alter does what function or what their identity is? Yes, and it’s actually not common for an alter to have a decided “job.”

Can an alter’s identity shift? Yes.

Do not forget the “dissociative IDENTITY” in DID. This means you have no connection to your identity and it can change or become unknown or “wrong” to you. Your brain is all of those identities at once, and without a “core,” your identity will be fluid.

All the things you think aren’t common, really are.

Don’t let tumblr culture fool you into thinking that having defined appearances, voices, and jobs/types for each alter is the norm. It’s far from it.

[wirelessnetworksystem]

angel with pronouns be like "he/hymn"

[wirelessnetworksystem]

angel with pronouns be like "he/hymn"

[wirelessnetworksystem]

does anyone else mostly experience their system more covertly and unlike the media?

more like "well i know i feel weird because i feel 12/connected to my trauma/especially angry and cynical but i don't know who i am and am just going to assume i'm the host like i always do"

i just always assume i'm me even if i'm definitely feeling unlike the regular me, and i don't realize i didn't feel like me until i'm me again and then i'm like wow that sure wasn't me, or for a long time i identified with it but in a very detached and fluctuating way, like in a "idk who else that would be so it was definitely me" way you'd experience without knowing about systems

like the angry, cynical, and slightly antagonistic part of me i both identify and don't identify with, and the alter i suspect holds those traits is very "idgaf i'm a bitch and i know it" about it while i'm like "oh no if i'm like that nobody will like me oh no" and feel chronically torn between embracing that side because it feels good and rejecting it out of fear of consequences of being "bad" so that part of me is often in the background, existing without taking control (usually) but highly stressing me out nonetheless and it's just like do i even identify with that me or did i just assume for years it's me because it's what made the most sense? but if i have to ask that question then it probably means i don't fully identify with that me which is dissociation but yet i also feel a lot of shame and fear related to that part of me and i don't view it as a completely separate person with no connection to me who just lives in my head or anything, it's more like a rejection than disownment but there are still some aspects i disown so idk. but i don't disown them in the moment but later on i'm like wow i was acting weird there i'm not like that, but then if i act like that again i'm like "yeah this is me" but then lATER AGAIN I'M LIKE NO I'M NOT LIKE THAT AND IT GOES BACK AND FORTH

my identity is just in this constant flux and confusion which is NORMAL for DID but it's just never talked about because of all the focus on the alters and i just wish that wasn't the norm on social media since most systems don't present like that in the first place. a lot do but even more don't and it makes it hard to find support or community without feeling pressured to know Everything about your system and make each alter super differentiated because most of us are just traumatized and blah and don't give a damn.

[wirelessnetworksystem]

BURNING STEEL WOOL

🔥 PLEASE CREDIT IF YOU USE

[wirelessnetworksystem]

us: goes through a very stressful event

brain: have a gay twink

us: uhh thanks i guess, but how does this help?

brain: have another one

[wirelessnetworksystem]

🌫️- How many people are in your system

🌊- What's everyone's favorite colors?

☂️- Most common fronters?

☔- Collective pronouns?

💦- Everyone's pronouns?

💧- Most common age group?

💨- Do you have any fictives?

❄️- Are there any romantic relationships in your system?

🌧️- Does anyone have a favorite number?

☁️- Are any of your alters neurodivergent?

🌤️- How many people are LGBTQIA+

☀️- Do you have any non-human alters (including hybrids)?

🌈- What are some common hobbies?

🌪️- What is the most liked food between everyone?

🔥- Current hyperfixations?

☄️- Do you guys have any collective interests?

⚡- What is your headspace like? (If you have one)

✨- Does anyone have a pet?

⭐- Does your system have a name?

💫- Does anyone wanna share something about their source? Feel free to ramble, anyone can answer too!

🪐- Most chaotic group?

🌎- Any demon/angel/god alters?

🌙- Who is the oldest?

🌓- What type of system are you?

🌗- (For traumagenic systems only) Are you diagnosed? If yes, was getting one difficult? If not, do you want one & why or why not?

🌕- What is your system dynamic (ex, family, friends, complete strangers, etc)

🌻- What's a normal day for you as a system?

🌸- How do you keep track of your system? (Members, switches, etc)

🥀- Any childhood things that should've tipped you off to being a system?

💐- Do you like being a system?

🐚- Do you know any systems IRL?

🍄- Do you prefer in-system dating or out-of-system dating?

🍁- What's the most annoying thing about being a system?

🎍- How bad is your amnesia?

🌿- Best quote from an alter?

🌳- Do alters have separate accounts for games or do you all share an account?

A free to use ask game for systems!

Anti Endo, anti other origin systems, DNI with this post

[wirelessnetworksystem]

@funnier-as-a-system this was definitely how it was for us LOL

[wirelessnetworksystem]

abuser, trying their hardest to guilt trip me: Yeah it’s all my fault isn’t it! I’m the true evil! I’m the worst person alive! I was the one who did *something they really did* and it’s all my fault that you did *something you reacted with to their abuse*! I should be sent to hell for everything I do! I only want others to live in misery! Everything is my fault!

me: so finally throwing in some truth into the mix are we

[wirelessnetworksystem]

"you won't ever find the same person twice, not even in the same person"