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wishicouldpostfromsecondaryblogs · 1 hour

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Is it possible for the Lamb to flustered Narinder, or vice versa?

it takes special circumstances.

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wishicouldpostfromsecondaryblogs · 8 hours

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I'm not a prayin' man, but the night I found out my at-the-time-fiancé had been sending sex horny nasty horny sex asks to my friend on THIS VERY WEBSITE, I sat in the car in the parking lot of an abandoned church and watched a family of deer play in the snow, and it didn't quite feel like a sign because that part of Pennsylvania was mostly deer and abandoned buildings and snow, but it felt nice, and once the tears stopped, I looked down at my phone and my other friend had sent me a text that said, "HE'S TRYING TO CHEAT ON YOU ON THE ONE DIRECTION IMAGINES WEBSITE?" and I realized that life is all about your curated experience. A real choose-your-own-adventure deal. I have never seen someone post about One Direction on here in my life.

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wishicouldpostfromsecondaryblogs · 8 hours

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hey cotl fandom. listen. listen to me about this concept. listen.

--

"And I'm telling you that I was here last fucking week!" Lamb snaps as they slice through another bush, wishing it was Narinder's face. "I fucking grew up here, you lunatic-"

"You are a useless, flea-attracting, sad excuse of a textile," Narinder swears at him, as if the last time he'd been here the river had even existed. "If you want to climb a hill and back down, you can go ahead, but I refuse-"

Lamb opens their mouth to retort heatedly, or maybe start begging Kallamar to take their ears in place of his own, before suddenly catching a glimpse of something gold flashing between the tree bowers.

They crouch down into battle posture in hard-won reflex and Narinder shuts up immediately to twirl around with a flourish of blades, the others following seconds later. Lamb feels a pang of... something, looking at the back of Narinder's head, at how quickly the paranoid bastard turned his back to them at the first inkling of danger, at how there wasn't even a second between Lamb's reaction and the cat's understanding.

Then they shake it off and lead the rest wordlessly into the thicket, sword drawn. Narinder is on his tail as always, warm breath down their neck and sword angled to catch any projectiles that might be thrown at Lamb from hidden foes.

(Narinder spits blood in their face with a snarl, which stuns them so much they stop putting pressure on the wound to stare at him.

"Stop crying like a toddler," The insufferable asshole demands, even as he messily bleeds out from an arrow that an errant archer had aimed at Lamb, tail lashing weakly. "The only being who will be responsible for your permanent death will be me."

Lamb resurrects him before the day is out and slaps him in the face.)

They shake off the memory and creep closer to the clearing, tense, and-

Oh.

"Forneus!" They call happily, straightening up. Thank the One. They push past the brushes to greet her, feeling the tension drain away. "Oh, it's so lovely to see you!"

"And you as well!" She replies, eyes crinkling. "I-" she glances behind them, and for the first time since they've known her, her smile drops. "The- The One Who Waits. My Lord, is that you?"

It's such a sudden punch to the gut that Lamb moves back; they'd forgotten, in all the ruckus, how devotion to Narinder had sounded like, hidden and kept alive for a thousand years; had forgotten the story of Forneus' kits and who she was willing to give them up to.

"Fortune," Narinder says, dipping his head, as regal as ever. It doesn't look stupid or pretentious now, with the wide-eyed smile on Forneus' face, eyes shining. He approaches them, handing his blades to Lamb as he walks past. Lamb is too tense about where this conversation is going to lead to to remember to drop them to the ground. "You are... the mother of Aym and Baal, yes?"

"Yes," She breathes, even as her eyes shine with bittersweet sorrow. "Yes, were they- did you-"

Narinder breaks into such a blazing grin, all three eyes creased with joy, that Lamb's mouth falls open, stomach swooping in kind.

"The mother of my kittens!" He booms, hands spreading wide. "Oh, you finest of creatures, to have given life to such wonders, and had the courage to give them up still."

Forneus sways in stunned shock, even as her eyes fill with tears. "Did they please you so much, my lord?"

Narinder catches her by the shoulders as she tries to bend down to touch his feet and then suddenly softens in a way that Lamb hasn't seen in years. "They were splendid, Fortune. Loyal to the very end, the best devotees I have ever had. And I assure you, I loved them as if they were my own, given everything I could possibly bestow in my prison."

"Oh," She whispers, tears overflowing. Lamb's own do in sympathy, knowing her only prayers have been met.

"And none of that," Narinder says, pulling her clasped hands apart, voice so warm and gentle it does things to Lamb's insides. "I may be a god no longer, but I vowed when they were brought to me, saving me from madness, that I would one day find you to reward your sacrifice, most devoted of creatures, and I will keep that promise."

Forneus laughs wetly. "Oh, what is there to reward, Lord, now I know they were loved? No wealth is greater than love, I always say, and no reward is needed. Only, perhaps- where are they?"

Lamb's eyes widen, scrambling to think of a way to defuse the situation, but- "In my domain," Narinder says smoothly. "I have lost much of my strength, so I could not summon them before now- but you shall have our kittens in your lap in a fortnight, this I promise you."

Forneus squeals and laughs with joy, which- Lamb's very happy for her but, hello? What? He had this planned already?

Narinder glances over to meet their outraged expression with his glare, silently telling them to shut up. Lamb scoffs, crossing their arms, annoyed.

Narinder breaks their staring contest to look back to Forneus, soft smile returning. Lamb has an odd vision of ramming the infuriating cat to the ground and maybe keeping him there until he learns to, they don't know, direct some of that to the person who actually deals with his shit.

"And if the only reward you desire is love," Narinder purrs, voice suddenly deep and charming and hot, eyes going half-lidded as bends down over her, one hand tracing up her arm. "Perhaps I could repay you with... another kind of love, hm?"

Lamb can feel their brain melting out their ears, blushing almost as bad as Forneus. What the fuck. They hadn't- What the fu- Since when was this asshole capable of-

They turn to the others, who are in a similar state of absolutely flabbergasted and variously horrified, staring at Narinder like they've never seen him before. What the fuck.

Forneus giggles, body language slipping effortlessly into something more receptive, tail flicking next to Narinder's in that casual feline seduction Lamb had to embarrass themselves to find out about from that one group in Silk Cradle. "Well now, that's quite the other offer, isn't it?"

"Hello?" Lamb interrupts loudly, voice outraged and cracking. They cannot believe- "He's married?"

They point to the gold on their own finger emphatically. Fine, they haven't won him over enough to be kissed yet, but still! They'd married him, fair and square!

Narinder raises a contemptuous eyebrow. "Weren't you the one to claim it was open?"

Lamb's mouth shuts, jaw working, because they can't deny that, despite wanting to do nothing more than call their husband a harlot and whore, untangle his tail from Forneus', and drag him back to their tent so he could keep all that hidden charm and scorching hot seduction for Lamb, instead.

Narinder moves closer to Forneus, leaning in with a confident smile. They look good together- two black cats able to read each other's language, his sharp angles and her soft curves, tension sparking so hot there's no way anyone else in the clearing has any doubt about where this is leading.

But only Lamb is close enough to hear Narinder whisper in her ear, "Besides, I believe there is something else you desire, more than anything- wouldn't it be nice, for Aym and Baal to have a litter to grow with?"

"WHAT?" Lamb shrieks.

Narinder is already leading a dazed Forneus to her caravan, looking back to them imperiously. "You can continue the Crusade without me. I will find my own way back home."

"Sorry, excuse me, uh, no-" The tent flap has already closed, leaving Lamb seething alone in the middle of the clearing with a furious erection and blushing cheeks and rage so bright they thinks they might set fire to the whole place.

"UGH!" They yell finally, aware of the Bishop's and followers' eyes on them as they spin on their heel and stomp off. Fuck Narinder anyway. Fuck him and his stupid beautiful face and his pretty veil and soothing voice and promising sex life- Lamb will go on without him and have the best Crusade of their fucking life.

...And then maybe go visit the graves of their old spouses. They may have an apology or ten to make.

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wishicouldpostfromsecondaryblogs · 10 hours

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wishicouldpostfromsecondaryblogs · 13 hours

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i know that they have a standard death pose for every breed and i dont think they need to change it at all but its really funny that my sandsurge with the beard gene looks like this when defeated. they shaved her

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wishicouldpostfromsecondaryblogs · 13 hours

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wishicouldpostfromsecondaryblogs · 13 hours

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Masterpost

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wishicouldpostfromsecondaryblogs · 13 hours

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in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

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wishicouldpostfromsecondaryblogs · 15 hours

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Let us suppose that the "average" horse would have equal proportions of all these parts. The degree to which each part in this poll deviates from the "average" size (20% of total) will determine how large or small that part of our horse will be (i.e a horse with only 10% in Legs will have legs half the size of the average horse).

I will draw a picture of the horse we make!

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wishicouldpostfromsecondaryblogs · 16 hours

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hey ueers can someone summarize julius caesar act 3 for me thanks