wisteria-waye

[wisteria-waye]

Okay I think I’m going to leave this blog I don’t know if I’ll delete it yet or not But I can’t stay here anymore There’s too much bad the make the good worth it Please please please DM me or send me an ask if you want to follow my new main blog, or add me on discord. I don’t want to lose all of the wonderful friends I’ve made Y’all haven’t done anything wrong This account has just accumulated too much ‘stuff’

[wisteria-waye]

Okay I think I’m going to leave this blog I don’t know if I’ll delete it yet or not But I can’t stay here anymore There’s too much bad the make the good worth it Please please please DM me or send me an ask if you want to follow my new main blog, or add me on discord. I don’t want to lose all of the wonderful friends I’ve made Y’all haven’t done anything wrong This account has just accumulated too much ‘stuff’

[wisteria-waye]

Okay I think I’m going to leave this blog I don’t know if I’ll delete it yet or not But I can’t stay here anymore There’s too much bad the make the good worth it Please please please DM me or send me an ask if you want to follow my new main blog, or add me on discord. I don’t want to lose all of the wonderful friends I’ve made Y’all haven’t done anything wrong This account has just accumulated too much ‘stuff’

[wisteria-waye]

Hey I’m working through some things and making some decisions Deciding how to move forward I’m not totally satisfied with my tumblr experience. But I’ve been on my aesthetic blog account for a few days now and... i’m much happier. I don’t want to just abandon this blog but....  I don’t want to throw myself into an environment that’s harmful to me. And I certainly don’t want to lose contact with all of you. So idk

[wisteria-waye]

okay i’m closing tumblr i might stay off for a few days... maybe until after christmas

[wisteria-waye]

i feel sick but i can’t throw up

[wisteria-waye]

#relatable trauma survivor feels

“i dont know”

inconvenient flashbacks and panic attacks

randomly being reminded of your trauma

dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty

bad bad bad bad bad

either having the mindset of a young child or an adult, no in between

“i thought you were older! you’re so mature!”

being legitimately terrified of small sudden movements and everyone thinks it’s hilarious

immediately losing trust in whoever thinks it’s hilarious

the absolute terror of becoming like your abuser one day

it’s my fault

Constant Vigilance

that self-doubt due to repressed memories

“do i hate them or do i hate myself?”

Guilt™ 

[wisteria-waye]

To all those affected by the news of Jonghyun’s passing, please take the time to grieve. Talk to people, cry if you need to, work to process all your emotions and just grieve. Don’t bottle up your feelings, let the sorrow out of your heart in whatever way you can so that it may become lighter again.

Be patient and kind and respectful. Treat others well, no matter how they react to this. Honour Kim Jonghyun’s memory, his accomplishments and his life.

[wisteria-waye]

My biggest wish is that people will continue fighting their demons and work their hardest to overcome their struggles in remembrance of Jonghyun. Don’t let him being gone let you fall into a dark hole or a deep sadness. It’s okay to mourn but please Jonghyun has always wanted the best for his Shawols and Blingers. He wants us to do our best, to achieve our goals, to love our family and friends. Please stay strong and don’t act rashly. Try your hardest for Jonghyun, it’s what he’s always wanted

[wisteria-waye]

Mental health is so important and the Korean music industry will just never realize that. Idols may always show happiness to fans, but once they’re by themselves the mask falls apart.

These companies better open their eyes, start treating idols right, and make sure that they are healthy and always doing okay. Because what just happened is certainly not okay.

We all have our own internal battles and demons to face, but we won’t always win. If any of you need someone to talk to or just wants a new friend, please don’t be afraid to dm me.

[wisteria-waye]

Misty Red

[wisteria-waye]

i dont care what shinee does now. they can disband, continue, retire from the public life, keep on going on as a solo. i dont give a fuck. as long as they do what is best for them, what helps them heal and what makes them happy. that is the most important thing. shinee will always be in my heart and memory a group of 5 loving and caring friends. thats how i decided i will forever remember them.

[wisteria-waye]

i can honestly say if i didn’t have friends right now i really don’t know what i’d do to myself at this moment

[wisteria-waye]

what hurts the most is that we fans knew but we didn’t know at the same time

we knew he was depressed and mentally ill but we didn’t know he felt this isolated, this empty, and this tortured

we knew about it but we didn’t know the extent of it

i wish we could have helped him somehow

[wisteria-waye]

[17.18.12] The entertainment industry can be a harsh environment that fosters madness. But in all walks of life, All of the praises and attacks from your critics and peers whittle away at hope and rationale. If you are depressed, do something about it. Reach out to someone trustworthy or get out of the environment you are in. The claustrophobia can drill suicidal thoughts into your skull. Get a brain scan. Ask for help. Don’t give up. My heart breaks for you to be driven to this point man. I think we can all understand the sense of isolation, but for anyone who cares to read, you are not alone. Don’t give up and keep pushing forward. Move forward. Move on to a new life. It will be ok because you are loved. Please Don’t give up. #rip

[wisteria-waye]

Dear whoever is reading this: I wish you a life full of warmth and happiness and love. I hope you’re okay. And if you aren’t now, you will be.

[wisteria-waye]