witcher-and-decay - Tumblr blog

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so to be clear: 100% of the credit for jaskier finally being canonically queer and having a full romance story thats treated well in season 3 goes to joey batey

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okay but jask has to be kept under close watch when drunk bc as a child, he was the type to open bird cages to set them free and now as a grownup he has the same energy under the influence

except

he just adapts it to whatever is nearby 

geralt had to retrieve him one night from someone’s garden where he was overturning compost bins to “set free the worms, geralt! they deserve to crawl into freedom if they choose!”

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what we should be wearing: a horrific mashup of victorian gothic and 80s clothes

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If book Geralt and Netflix Geralt swapped in s2 episode 1 of TWN

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you really have to appreciate how badly geralt fucked up, like. yeah, jaskier IS his best friend and they ARE in love, but jaskier also basically wrote an ad jingle for geralt. that’s what toss a coin is. and now that they’ve broken up, geralt is literally in a public feud with his PR agent

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Roach is actually an immortal horse spirit that attached herself to Geralt because she loves him so much and now she possesses the body of every new horse he gets. That's why every horse is named Roach, because every horse IS Roach.

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“Yennefer and Jaskier are two characters with completely different personalities. They share one thing in common, which is Geralt. What other things do they have in common?”

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(at some point in Minas Tirith, after the destruction of the Ring)

Frodo: *says something vague and haunted about the experience of feeling Sauron’s eye seeking him and pressing down upon him*

Pippin: *remembering the palantir* “hahahahaha YEAH, Sauron was awful. Really glad he never got the chance to pin your mind down like a bug and cut at it until you told him what he wanted to know. At least that’s one kind of pain you didn’t go through–I can tell you I do NOT recommend it!”

Frodo:

Frodo:

Frodo: “YOU talked to SAURON? SAURON TALKED to you?? When? How?? Where was Merry?? Where was GANDALF?? MERRY! GANDALF! WHAT DID YOU LET HAPPEN TO PIPPIN. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING”

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Realized i never posted my jaskier version of stańczyk by jan matejko

Its one of my faves lmao

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So I was thinking about how Sauron doesn’t appear directly in LotR, and a lot of the power of his portrayal comes from the consistent message that he’s too powerful for anyone to speak to without risk of losing their minds and hearts and wills to his crushing domination, etc., and I decided to make a list of the people who do come into contact with him. It’s not very long.

Characters who have indirect but substantive contact with Sauron during the events of LotR:

Galadriel does a lot of mental shielding from him, which seems to mean he’s trying to have direct contact with her mind and she holds him off. Doesn’t really count, but it’s attempted contact so I’m putting it here.

Frodo is carrying a piece of Sauron’s spirit or whatever around with him, but if we don’t count that then Frodo still gets his mind pressed by Sauron’s attempted domination a couple times (at the Mirror, on Amon Hen) and generally has to deal with a lot more of Sauron’s mental miasma than most people.

Sam also has to deal with a lot of Sauron’s Looming Presence, and some temptation from the Ring, although Sauron never actively notices he exists.

Gandalf has done some mental fencing with Sauron, but it doesn’t seem like they have more than occasional and fleeting contact. Gandalf strongly implies he’s not strong enough to take more than that.

Denethor keeps looking in the palantir and getting his vision twisted by Sauron, but it’s implied that he had the mental strength to keep Sauron from dragging his gaze directly to Barad-dur itself.

Characters who might have had direct interaction with him:

Gollum was tortured in Mordor, and that may well have involved Sauron’s direct oversight at some point, considering the importance of the topic to him. Even if not, Gollum’s time in Morder with the Ring probably qualifies as indirect contact–the point where he’s told he’ll be thrown into the Fire, certainly.

Characters who definitely had direct, unveiled, unshielded interactions with Sauron:

Saruman, who did not have Denethor’s mental strength, and is one of two characters know to have had direct conversations with Sauron.

Pippin Took, who had a direct magic-enhanced video call with Sauron himself for several minutes of real-time personal interaction.

…PIPPIN. PIPPIN ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE OKAY.

(I mean, I’m sure he is really, but gosh.)

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AU where after the mountain, Jaskier is wanted by Nilfgaard and has to leave his barding behind (for now) and takes up archery instead.

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the man, the myth, the legend

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jaskier is immortal because he’s a trans man who asked the wrong mage for transitional magic and did not realize in time what “you will be, truly and in every way, to all eyes for all time, a young man” actually meant

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theyre bullying him

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If I live to be a hundred and read The Hobbit every year, I'll still get emotional every time I get to Bilbo saying tea's at four but the dwarves are welcome any time. It's such a good summary of his character arc, that he will forever be the hobbit who wants to be home to have tea every day at four o'clock sharp, but now he's also okay with unexpected parties, with strange friends from strange lands, with going without cake because it's worth it sometimes (for more reasons than just politeness!), with occasionally doing without tea altogether to talk a walk to see the elves

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some modern au classics