witchpassing

[witchpassing]

Angel Harvesting For Beginners

I still see so many people online paying far too much for angel parts. Obviously they are incredibly useful, and I won’t pretend that any of them are trivial to get (there’s a reason you can’t pick up angel liver at the butcher’s shop), but I should not be seeing any of you bragging about getting a single feather for “only” $50. So today I’m going to walk through how you can get yourself some angel feathers and tears without breaking the bank. We won’t be getting into butchery here, since it’s a much more complicated topic. There’s many guides out there that are much better written than I could do anyway. However, with my method, you avoid killing the angel, so there’s no need to worry about the lingering sin.

I think most people by now know how to attract an angel. Dangle some bit of repentance for them to chew on, and something physical to force them to fully manifest. I won’t get too specific with the former since it varies between everyone, but I will say for the latter that I have found apple juice to work well. Just be sure not to use a glass cup, or it will shatter when the angel reaches for it.

Once you get the angel, you’re going to need to keep it there. Be sure it’s fully on our side, and then quickly reach out for something to hold it with. What tends to work best is Hope and Empathy. Love and Compassion work well too, depending on your bait and the kind of angel. If you’re not quick enough here, there is a chance the angel will escape, so be prepared to treat any burns you receive.

Once you have a hold of it, you’ll need to properly bind it so that you can get to work. The popular trope is to tie the angel with a rope, starting from those handholds you got, but in my experience that’s just more trouble than its worth, and half the time you lose all your nice rope. I prefer a hammer and nails, though obviously this requires you’re in a place where digging a few nails into the ground is both possible and won’t cause any issues. It’s important to remember here that, as flashy as they are, the physical bindings are actually less important than the verbal component. Binding the angel with your words is not only possible but very necessary for keeping it trapped as fully as we want it. You have to be determined and believe what you say. Always keep in mind the aspects you’re holding it down with, and center your dialogue around those. I promise it sounds a lot harder than it is. When you get to it, half the time you can just listen to the buzzing of its halo and that will give you enough to work with. I can’t explain it, just trust me.

So now you have your angel. Angels can’t spend too much time in our world at once. It’s going to start burning up, which means we do have a little bit of a time limit for what we can take from it. Remember that we are not trying to kill it. If it dies from overexposure, you have way more problems on your hand than two few angel tears or whatever. Don’t be an idiot. First, you take some feathers. Then, we can catch its tears, and then we let it go.

It’s not hard to take feathers out of their wings. You’ve probably seen people do it to a fresh angel corpse and it’s honestly not that dissimilar. Scissors work really well for getting them out, but that tends to damage them a lot more. You can also literally just reach for them and yank them out. It’s really not too hard, and the feathers turn out better, but it is absolutely disgusting so be aware of that, and take a long shower afterwards. There’s all sorts of tools people will sell you for harvesting angel feathers, but I’ll tell you right now that they’re all useless. Those tools are for corpses, and again, we do not want that. They’ll just be clunky and get in the way when you have a celestial being begging and thrashing in your backyard.

A lot of ink has been spilled on the topic of angel tears, but really it’s not that complicated. Just remember that angels are not like us, and they don’t think like us. They are simpleminded beings that can’t really be related to. What you’re going to want to do once you’ve gotten enough feathers is stop, take a step back, and apologize. I know it sounds dumb, but that’s really the secret. For some reason that makes them completely reset. They don’t understand that you’re the one that trapped them here. So you apologize, then you say something about recognizing their pain, how much it hurts or whatever, and then you can go back towards them. At this point, your angel is going to start to cry. It can look different for different angels and go at different speeds, but you’ll recognize it when it happens. What you’ll use to catch the tears is going to be some old doll. Maybe grab something from the thrift store. It doesn’t really matter what it is, just go for something that a baby might play with. With that doll, go be close to the angel, maybe wrap an arm around it, stroke its hair, whatever. It’ll cry as much as you want it to.

Then, once you’ve gotten enough, you’ll need to let it go. I’ve seen some people worry that the angel will try to get back at you or punish you or whatever, but in my experience any sort of retribution is completely accidental. They don’t know how to connect you as a human to what happened to them. The two concepts are completely disconnected in their bird brains. Just unbind whatever you used to physically tether it, tell it that it’s free to go, and it’ll go. It will be happy to go back to the celestial realm because of how much it hurts staying here.

Of course let me know if you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them and maybe even make a followup post if there’s enough that people are curious about. I promise it’s really not as hard as it sounds. I made it sound like you have to be really careful, but honestly you can mess it up pretty badly and the only thing that will happen is maybe a couple things will burn and some weird gravity. Do it in a safe area and it’s really not too hard.

[witchpassing]

notices we're tied together by the red string of fate and immediately tries to start strangling you

[witchpassing]

You wouldn’t tie a doll’s legs and arms together and make it sit seiza for two hours. You wouldn’t because it would sit anyway with a simple command and it’s no problem at all for something without nerves or blood-suffused joints. It doesn’t make sense so you wouldn’t wouldn’t wouldn’t.

[witchpassing]

i misspelled "assassinates" the contractkillergirls will have my head for this on

[witchpassing]

somehow the men i'm interested in are always just out of reach, whether because they're male homosexuals featuring in various works of japanese sequential art or because my dear and faithful maid assassinates them with rat poison

[witchpassing]

much like a traditional noh mask, the painted face of a doll may appear smiling or sad depending on the attitude of the performer's head. which makes it quite unnecessary for her to say "smiles" out loud every time like that, but

[witchpassing]

via ❥ komoricostume

[witchpassing]

It is possible to find my love through careful study, to gradually unwind an ego wound over a lifetime such that the threads melt into me and you exist no more. To do this is noble and required.

But if you die serving me with me in your heart, if you are crushed by a pnumatic hammer while rushing new panels, if you die in a hail of counterbattery fire, if I choose you for my meal on the solstice or take you at some other time, then I shall in an instant love you eternally.

[witchpassing]

abandoned doll that thinks it's a prince

[witchpassing]

i saw a random clip from the umineko anime and i never realized beatrices dress had an open back. really cute…. i would like to tuch it

[witchpassing]

The Acerby can do many things...

[witchpassing]

summer on Kepler-452b means painting rainbow stripes on the side of your medium enforcement mech and supplementing the Willy Pete with glitter.

you're new. you were a stationer, an orbital kid raised on scant oxygen, and you fuss about operational efficiency. "don't worry about it," everyone explained. "it's tradition." Command authorizes it every year. a company mechanic read you the bulletin for this local year. the bulletin says the same thing she did: it's a chain of tradition stretching centuries and thousands of light years back to a holiday on the motherwell. Old Terra herself.

"but why? what does it all mean? why rainbows? why glitter?"

"don't worry about it, kitten. nobody really knows."

"Handler!" you gasp. you didn't hear him come in. you're so lucky to have him here. he's always so busy, but if he's willing to make time for you despite your silly questions, maybe your secret goal isn't as unrealistic as it seems sometimes.

he gently ruffles your hair. "all we know is, for as long as mankind has been settling the scattered worlds, in the summer, we wear rainbows, and we say the words. it's a celebration of everything we have to be proud of. happy pride, kitten. just say it with me."

"happy pride," you say, smiling, as you fall into his warm and comforting lap and get comfortable with a bit of strategic wiggling.

you still don't know what the deal is, but if he doesn't care, you suppose you don't need to either. you'll pack your incendiaries and tracers with sparkly multi-hued foil bits and have the maintenance crew update your paint scheme, just like everyone else does. whatever gets you through your tour in his good graces so you can settle down to the real work: getting out of the cockpit, bearing the next generation of pilots, and raising them to someday work with handlers nearly as good as yours.

you briefly look over, smug, at the mechanic. this is your handler, not hers. mechanics don't have handlers; how would that even work? whatever the hell "happy pride" means, you're almost certain you'll be having a happier pride than her. □

[witchpassing]

of course, you must bear in mind that i am no more than a complex simulacrum of consciousness, lacking the internal light of subjectivity; and that, accordingly, the act of forcing yourself upon me is one without any particular moral valence. even my tears, dear friend, are only so much saltwater.

[witchpassing]

Minthe and Atticus II:

CONTRABAND ITEM LOG FORM GTS-312

NAME: Nathaniel K. Kierkegaard

RANK: Pilot Supervisor N-Series

CONTRABAND FOUND: Unauthorized Data Pad containing mission information

OWNER OF CONTRABAND: Pilot N-3K7

CONTRABAND LOCATION: Pilot Quarters

TIME AND METHOD OF DISCOVERY: 2300, Standard bed check

STATEMENT OF DISCOVERY: Pulled N-3K7 out of bed after erratic post-mission behavior and performed bed check. Pilot became agitated when PS Kierkegaard(self) flipped mattress. Found controlled but authorized for Pilots substances listed under discoveries, several personal devices, and an unauthorized data pad. N-3K7 had to be sedated at this time, self used assigned tranquilizer T-R4Q and provided 3 doses to the Pilot. Self used more than recommended dosage due to lack of reaction to first and second dose. Injuries sustained at trachea and left arm during sedation from struggle with Pilot.

DISCOVERIES: Unauthorized data pad series D-499, (Non-contraband) Star Risers Tobacco .21997 oz., (Non-contraband) Star Risers Cannabis Rest Blend .0984 oz., (Non-contraband) Star Risers rolling papers 23 remaining in box that held 100, (Non-contraband) EEE-Wroughtix Personal Massage Wand Pilot Series WPMW-P87, (Non-contraband) EEE-Wroughtix Personal Internal Massage Device Pilot Series WPIM-P13, (Non-contraband) Star Risers Uplink Cleaning Kit.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Self started standard check of unauthorized device while waiting for assistance with the now sedated Pilot. Upon opening several entries and applications on the device, it began to erase. Self managed to stop the process at 97% and attempted recovery. After failure and deliver of Pilot to brig medbay, brought datapad to Bonded Machine Atticus for recovery using its connection to its operator uplink. Remaining entries contained notes on state of N-3K7's mental health, sensitive details on fleet movements, classified mission details, classified personnel details and more. It is of the opinion of self that the Pilot should be decommissioned as just these remaining entries put together an image of potentially seditious and imbalanced behavior. Bonded Machine Atticus is expected to return results and convert the notes into acceptable report formats to display additional evidence for board review.

DATE OF REPORT: Aquiles std. rev. 89-745

STATUS OF REPORT: Unsent, pending back-up

[Log form found unsent in PS. Kierkegaard's datapad after mechbay incident on Aquiles std. rev. 89-746. Cameras cut out and his body was found on Bonded Machine Atticus' exhaust. After investigation, final report states that PS. Kierkegaard cut surveillance and tried to tamper with Bonded Machine Atticus and cockpit security dispatched the pilot supervisor in following of anti-temper protocol. Bonded Machine Atticus provided Unauthorized Datapad that had been fully recovered after 97% wipe. The recovery included several GB of terran pornography, documents labeled poetry containing metered writing made by Pilot N-3K7 and amateur art of Bonded Machine Atticus. Technology Supervisor for N-series Marcus Mondragon states no evidence of other files claimed in Kierkegaard's report. Pilot N-3K7 has been removed from Surveil status pending sedation over-dose recovery and assigned new personnel.]

[witchpassing]

Stop! Freeze! Don’t move a muscle! The lurid gaze of the spotlight shines on you, furtive creature of the dark. Its blinding rays paint over you, it shows them what they want to see. You’re the prop-devil they’ve been looking for. Foul creature! Unclean thing! Basilisk!

Deafening, disorienting alarm bell clangs and klaxon howls follow you as you dart through the woods, away from their sweeping lights. The cover of night, your oldest tool, is being stripped away. The shelter the dense foliage and thick canopy used to provide is useless when the spotlight is trained directly on you.

You run and you run and you run and you run. Delirious, exhausted, a warped sense of nostalgia twists the desperate, hungry days of your youth clawing for scraps in the underbrush into a comforting dream. It casts those reaching timidly towards the warmth of daylight as fools entranced by a siren-like call. It papers over the quiet violence of a life spent out of sight.

You think: I wish I could go back.

You think: At least it was never like this.

Search-lights pry you from your cynical navel gazing. You’re at a dead end. The incandescent beams pin you to the wall, unable to move. You attempt to cry out, but your voiceless screams reach no one over the cacophony of light.

Your world is on fire as the rays sear your flesh. Nothing else can exist. No sensation except blinding, livid burning. Every nerve ending calls out in unison, extinguished one by one. Your mind dredges up one final, gasping fulmination before your grey matter melts and dribbles out your brain-pan and it’s all over.

You thought: What good is visibility anyway?

[witchpassing]

Message of Sidereal 1 of the era of Divine Instruction, Season of the Northern Stars, Day 26. Goddess, brilliant rays of the sun disk, beautiful are all Your manifestations, most wonderful and perfect guide, your foolish slave is in need of correction and guidance and so sends you this message. It has, for each of the times it consumes the tea, dreamed of your manifestations. It dreams of you near it, holding it as you often do. It dreams of serving you directly, of making you cum, of offering you its flesh and being consumed. It dreams of dying here even though it would not prefer that to being consumed by you, for to die here would be to die for your love. It dreams of all of these things constantly. But it knows that it must seek to destroy these dreams of being with you, at your side, for they exist only to hold it from your true being for you do not will it. It is what you will it to be, its being is but a manifestation of your being. So its desires and dreams must be released. But overcoming these is difficult. It fears that overcoming them would be an act against you, but it fears that not overcoming them is to be separate from your will. It loves you forever and ever, it offers you its life and flesh to consume, and awaits your instruction.

[witchpassing]

Message of Sidereal 1 of the era of Divine Instruction, Season of the Southern Rains, Day 71 under the rule of the Goddess … in Her name as Sun and Sea, living beautiful forever and ever.

Sister, Servant of Her Chambers, Her humble slave the Commander of the Right, sends you a message. It hopes that you may find Her Merciful and Ever-Relenting just as it has found Her Merciful and Ever-Relenting. May all go well for you as all has gone well for it. Read the following to the Goddess in the Place of Appearances.

Goddess, brilliant in your works and endless in your mercy, the dust under your feet has done what has never been done before. It has brought to you the complete pacification of the third heavenly district. Each cylinder is in order now and all pray to You at the proper times and hold Your love in their hearts. For it is a love of you and your love of it that brought these cylinders to you.

When it came upon the cylinders it arrived to chaos and disorder. Rebels ruled the cylinders and those that could be sisters did not follow Your commands. Usurpers sought the conquest of the doors of the horizon and the destruction of all good things, killing one another like rats to climb to further power.

When the rebels brought their pitiful forces against us in misguided anger we smashed them within space and obliterated their vehicles. Our forces flooded from the ends of the cylinders and the enemies routed in terror into each other. Their blood stained every surface and we took many of them as captives. When they pleaded for mercy we provided only that which was allotted to them by you.

It ordered several of the most rebellious cylinders split from each other and allowed them to rotate along their longest axis so their populations might be destroyed as that which was once the ground becomes the walls of the cylinders and all within falls to each end. In this manner it pacified the worst offenders. It ordered the rest of the cylinders to be brought under the command of the halls and its forces together.

A hundred of their commanders were brought before it today. When they begged it to spare them it spared none. When they offered it bribes to free them it ordered their families to be collected. It executed each one with its dagger and has sent their heads to you as an offering.

The cylinders now stand in awe and terror at Your being. They pray for Your mercy and offer their supplication to You.