witchy-jadda

[witchy-jadda]

For those wondering - Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #338 (Hobgoblin sprays Spider-man with poison) and #339 (Doc Ock reveals the poison only becomes lethal when combined with cocaine).

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i was a kid asking questions like "when you say to rate my pain on a scale of 1 to 10 do you mean relative to what i have experienced before or what i could theoretically experience in the future because what if i say 8 and then later i get twenty billion papercuts and i realise relative to that this pain is a 1" and they would reply "just focus on what you know, you literally had your foot ran over by a ford focus" and id say "well exactly but it could have been both feet which i know would surely be worse" and it still took years to diagnose me as autistic

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I had a dream that unless the teacher told us class was over, we were forbidden from going out the door. Our teacher was very forgetful, and maybe even malicious. After being forced to stay past sunset many days, my class decided we were going to break out every night. Eventually our attempts led us to discovering rifts in space-time where we could warp. So we never used the door. Checkmate.

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truly do not understand workplace drama. we're stuck here doing stupid bullshit for 8 hours and you want to make it worse? But on the other hand I love hearing about arguments that are not and never will be my problem

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Stories should have in-universe clichés and stereotypes. A teenage dragon rider who gets a dragon who will be his steed for life and is a solid inky black and immediately names her Midnight. He then immediately encounters someone who sees his steed who goes "lmao please don't tell me you're one of those young riders who gets a dark-colour dragon and immediately names it Darkness or Midnight or something, and starts acting like being dark and broody has been their whole thing their whole life."

And he immediately scrambles back like "oh no of course not that's cringe, her name is - uh - Daisy."

Meanwhile the Morbid Broody Dark Gothy One is bonded with a bright dandelion yellow dragon, naming her steed Sulfur and then revamps her whole aesthetic into a black-and-yellow Toxins, Poisons And Venoms -theme.

[witchy-jadda]

I'd rather hang out with someone who keeps accidentally calling me slurs but treats me like a person, than someone who actively polices every word anyone says and acts like belonging to a marginalised group is my only redeeming quality as a person.

[witchy-jadda]

truly never getting over the greatest loss streaming services caused: the disappearance of DVD special features. behind the scenes, bloopers, deleted scenes, commentaries, I will never forget you, I will never stop missing you.

[witchy-jadda]

a lot of things get on my nerves. im constantly annoyed. and i also have a deep love of humanity and the world but everything is really annoying

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[witchy-jadda]

valkyrie cain truly is the most character of all time. she killed a guy at 12 years old. she inherited a haunted house. her coworker is a skeleton. she didn’t fucking go to school. she’s ripped as hell. she accidentally started a cult made up of about five people. she’s bisexual. she sees the future but really inaccurately. she has a pet dog. she’s the antichrist. she dates a scottish necromancer who works as a teacher. she survived a zombie apocalypse. she has guilt over killing someone who is still alive. she’s not allowed to drive the bentley. she destroys humanity. she saves humanity. she accidentally discovered the Bad parallel dimension. she’s broken out of several prisons. she birthed a race of gods. she has a brief stint as the antichrist again but this time religious flavoured. she can fly. there’s a timeline where she turns into a harpy. she does everything out of spite. she’s been decapitated. she has two evil doppelgängers. she’s a victim of medical malpractice. she fucking hates one cop in particular. she’s friends with loser gay zombies who own a pub. she accidentally caught the attention of budget edward cullen. she hates walking. the list goes on and on. truly the most character of all time.

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breaking news: ur actually gonna make it through and everything will turn out just fine

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[witchy-jadda]

GET YOUR BODY OUT OF SURVIVAL MODE SO YOU CAN CREATE FROM YOUR HEART

[witchy-jadda]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[witchy-jadda]

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

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The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[witchy-jadda]

look! the moonlight shows us for what we really are. we are not among the living, and so we cannot die — but neither are we dead.