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withlovekatia · 2 days ago

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— 𝑨𝑾𝑲𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑫 !! ❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🦢˚. ᵎᵎ / 3 fs x fem. reader /

゛ ⸝⸝.ᐟ⋆ — 𝑰𝑵 𝑾𝑯𝑰𝑪𝑯

you care too much about yours and max's friendship to potentially ruin it by confessing your feelings for him. so, on a trip to california with the group, you distance yourself from him, unknowingly ruining it further in doing so. / based on this request /

— WARNINGS —

alludes to sex / swearing / VERY LONG SLOW BURN (like legit the longest thing i've written on here)

the long-awaited cali vlog fic...

── .✦

— # 𝑰𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑶 secret that out of all the boys in the friend group, you were the closest to max and he was the closest to you.

often you were teased about it, but no one could actually doubt it. it was impossible not to be when you'd known him since you practically came out of the womb. you'd been there since he had no subscribers and was just starting out his channel as his silly online persona. you'd been there since he first gained a hundred, then a thousand, and so on. you'd been there for his first girlfriend in the 8th grade and his first heartbreak, his braces phase and developer phase too. shit, you'd been there when max got pantsed for the first time in public by jacob.

you were inseparable. always had been, always would be, and as much as max loved cloak and plenty and all the other boys, his connection with you would always be stronger.

and so it was no surprise when, on the group's trip to california, the two of you ended up in a room together with two twin-sized beds and were made to share it.

this trip had been in the works since forever. though you were a youtuber just like the rest of them, you'd leave it up to the boys to vlog it and would more so be at the back of the picture instead of actually lugging around a camera all day everyday to catch clips. before all else, you wanted to enjoy this trip. especially with max.... often, your work kept the two of you apart and the fact that you were attending stanford that had you in the west-side of the U.S. all year-round. summer was the only 3 months you got to be home and enjoy yourself outside of your schoolwork.

summer was the only 3 months you got to be with max. and usually, you would be so happy to be with him, usually, you'd look forward to this. but...

max...

he was... well, he was...

knocking at the door? your head whipped to the entrance from your place on the floor, unpacking your suitcase and pulling from it your toiletries to set up in the bathroom. as knuckles hit wood you quickly called over your thoughts before you could think farther on that stupid situation with him. it was often that you thought far too long and far too much on silly topics when left alone with your own brain. "come in!"

max's fingers pushed the door ajar and he entered with a smile. your body tensed a bit when you saw it was him. "hi roommate." behind him was his suitcase. his eyes took a sweep across the room. in his black sweats and grey t-shirt, he looked about ready to fall asleep instead of facing the california-heat. "is this what the dorms are like in stanford?"

you smiled anxiously. "somewhat. you look like you'd fit right in."

max's eyes quirked into a laugh and he looked down at the outfit you were eyeing. "you sayin' i look like a frat boy?"

"red solo cup and all."

you best friend rolled his eyes, sending you that cute little mean mug you loved before lugging in his things. "didn't know my roommate would be such a pain."

it was usually so easy to joke around with max. as he brought his stuff in, you used it as an excuse to turn back to yours and laugh off the blush in your cheeks. god, one short conversation had you spiraling.

so, you thought about the trip instead as you wrestled clothes from your bag. the car ride was long but it seemed not such when you were in the passenger seat of his land rover blasting taylor swift and billy joel songs and singing along with him. you wanted to tell yourself it would be a good trip as long as he was there. you were close with the other boys, but you only actually knew them through max. still, you didn't dare look over at him even as he clambered around, solely focusing in on where to put your makeup bag for now.

"can't believe you're back for the summer," he broke the silence, humming over to you from where he was taking off his shoes by his bed. "i know i've already said that but i can't stop thinking about it."

"no, me too. feels like forever." you swallowed thickly, biting your tongue from harping out a little 'i missed you', staring down into your suitcase.

"it really has been. haven't seen you in months, since we last hung out at your college," max turned to you after he had nudged his shoes to the corner and watched you push yourself into a stand. "glad you're back."

"glad to be back," you smiled awkwardly. your hands ran down your jeans as you averted your attention to him, no longer with any excuses to keep you at your suitcase when it was empty.

you were about to say something along the lines of pushing the beds together like always when you gazed up at him and lost your words. max had to quit looking at you like that. with those big brown eyes, bright with happiness and warmth when staring into yours. he was just as handsome as he was last year. you hadn't allowed yourself much room for thought on that in the car with all the other boys, but now that you were face to face with him, one on one... fuck... it made your stomach churn, it made you sweat profusely. made you feel like you were falling midair... a hand fell to the nape of his neck and his eyes shifted a little bashful—nervous.

"i didn't really have a chance in the car but— i was gonna say, y/n, i really missed y—"

"you gonna record?" you cut him off quickly, heart somewhere plunged at your feet. if he finished that sentence god knows how you would've responded. he couldn't just say that to you.

max stared a little dumbfounded at you, his mouth still open but his eyes more disappointed than before. "oh, yea—" he replied, his expression visibly slacking upset. "i have my— camera— somewhere here..." aimlessly, max looked around the room, his suitcase, the bedside table, his... pockets? in search of the missing item. "i think i left it in the car."

"you can go get that— i promised i'd help plenty unpack anyways," you choked out, and only when max agreed awkwardly and pushed his way out of the room, could you sit down and relax a bit.

your bottom lip rolled between your teeth as you took a seat atop the bed. you couldn't talk sentimentally about the past or the future or being excited to see each other again with max any longer. sure, maybe you could laugh about fraternities and red solo cups, but not that. not anymore.

it didn't mean anything, though. you and him were the closest friends could be. no closer. but close. really... close...

okay, so.... maybe you were in love with him. was it a big deal? no. yes... it was a big deal because around him you weren't y/n anymore. you were just a girl crushing on a famous youtuber. the boy you used to be comfortable changing around you now had trouble looking in the eye. you didn't know where it started, maybe last summer when he picked you up and spun you around when you first saw each other in a while or that one phone call late at night when he told you he liked your voice... did it matter? you did know you wanted it to end. needed it to end. that was all that you truly cared for.

and, to be fair, it wasn't the first time things got a bit awkward between you two.

it actually started sometime when he'd come to visit you down at your college. you believed that was when you truly began liking him. you showed him the good ice cream places and sat with him on the lawn nearing midnight, and when you looked at him, you noticed things you had never before.

no, in all your eighteen years of knowing him, it was only then that you saw that flicker of green in his brown eyes, or the way his nose dipped when he talked, or the way not only did his cheeks turn red when he blushed, but the tips of his ears too.

and ever since then, you'd barely called, hung out, or joked with him in fear you'd notice it again.

and well, max... if things continued like this, max would find out. soon, he'd figure it out. and it would ruin everything you had between the two of you. it already actively was. for fuck's sake, you didn't even have plans to help plenty unpack, but you needed yourself out of that sticky situation and someplace else entirely and so you lied to him!

you loved max. you loved him so much that you wouldn't risk losing your friendship over it. and god, were you excited to see him again and spend a week with him. and god, were you happy to hear his voice and laugh at his jokes. but then he looked you too long in the eye or smiled a tad too familiarly or his hand lingered over yours when you went to turn up the volume in the car for a moment too long, and you were back to base one of being up and running 24/7 from your very obvious feelings.

you were back at base one of looking at him and being quite surprised to find a stupidly handsome face looking back.

yea, you really needed to take a breather. it was almost laughable at that point.

what went over your radar was one thing. so busy were you hiding your own feelings, you failed to notice max's.

for all your many differences, you and him had one main common ground: your love for the friendship between the two of you. such an innate love that nothing could get in its way if either could help it.

and for the both of you, that meant hiding how you truly felt.

it was already so late when the group arrived at the airbnb that the plans started the day after. you figured you'd shower in the morning and climbed into bed after everything was set out, pulling the sheets over your body and listening for max's return. everyone was exhausted so none of the boys in the other rooms were wrestling or arguing or yelling like usual, most were just sleeping.

max was away for a very long time considering he was just retrieving his camera from the car. either that, or your exhaustion warped it and made it seem worse that it was. finally, you could make out faint voices, serious but teasing—plenty's and max's—and footsteps outside your door before it cracked open and max entered. for whatever reason, you shut your eyes tight and pretended to already be asleep, though you could feel his gaze on you.

"y/n—?" he called over the silence. when you made no answer, he shut the door wordlessly behind himself and crossed the room, pulling the sheets off his bed, and climbing in. "goodnight."

—

you woke up to the sound of laughter and yelling voices outside your door, the house in a general raucous. groaning, you shifted onto your back and attempted at getting your bearings, squinting against the blare of the sun through the open curtains.

"morning, sleepyhead," max called over to you. half-surprised he was still in the room, you clambered to a sit and rubbed at your eyes.

"oh. max. hey," you muttered. "what time is it? and why is everyone up but me? that never happens."

max laughed, looking a bit antsy. "i know, unusual." he was grabbing his camera from where it sat charging on the nightstand, starting it up. "we're all going down to get bagels for breakfast. come with us."

bagels sounded really good right then. especially with the group. you were looking forward to the day, and you cast your eyes onto the floor, thinking. "i was gonna take a shower. am i not up too late?"

max looked away from the camera, watching you and pausing momentarily in fixing the lens to think on his words, "i'll make them wait. i want you to come."

oh.

you choked on your own spit and stared bewildered up at his bashful face before quickly climbing out of bed and turning away to hide your blush. "okay! i'll be quick!" without letting yourself think about how you said that a bit too eagerly and left a bit too rapidly you grabbed your shampoo and conditioner and beelined for the door without allowing him an answer.

for a moment after you shut the entrance and made your way down the hallway, still blushing and thinking back on his words, you forgot you were on a trip with other boys. they were someplace in the dining room, fighting over sunscreen, you thought, but plenty popped out from behind an unturned hallway, camera in hand. "look who's up!"

"geez, ethan! you scared me!" you squeaked, flinching away, staring down at the lens and then up at him again with a look of uncertainty.

chase called from the other room, "y/n!!!", and the other boys chimed in to give their greetings. "you're comin' to breakfast, right?"

"you know it."

they left you alone after that. as the only girl in the group, you got away with a lot of things, teasing included. especially since you only actually knew them through max and so were bound to be less comfortable around them.

"you drivin' with me and max?" plenty said, lowering his camera and scrolling through footage.

swallowing thickly, you bit the inside of your cheek and turned away, "sure. i'll be out in a moment."

—

ethan knew both you and max way too well not to be able to tell right off the bat that something was off. max was obviously trying to talk to you and it was definitely making you nervous.

"you fell asleep early last night," he tried over the table where you were practically shoving the bagel into your mouth, avoiding conversation. "i was pretty surprised."

"ye— yea," was your reply, muffled by the mass amount of food you were trying to chew. "it was— late— already..." max was sitting across from you and plenty was sitting between the two of you, watching as you both made awkward conversation and unfunny jokes.

"well shit..." he whispered quietly, not even bothering to record if the interactions were going to be this strange. last summer you were all over each other. now...?

luckily, you had the rest of the group to cheer things up. teasing chase was the group's favorite past time and noah could easily make a joke that would have everyone dying laughing in seconds. if not for them, ethan genuinely thought you would've gotten up and left the shop with the way max kept pressing conversation onto you. plenty could tell that the fact that any other boy's joke had you laughing and adding on after you'd practically just dissociated with max was really getting to him. he sat there without an appetite for his bagel, shifting uncomfortably, and not engaging at all. his eyes kept continually sliding to you, watching you, hurt. confused.

you were set to go straight to disneyland and spend the day there. as soon as everyone was in the car the group was on the road down, raucously laughing and yelling as usual. you were sat in the passenger seat as max drove, cackling at some of the jokes made but never daring to look at the one behind the wheel.

and as antsy as you were around him, you wouldn't be the party pooper of the group. no, you'd go and have a good day with your amazing group of friends and never once think on the subject at hand or have to spend too much time with him to be forced to.

well... at least until you were made to clamber into a two-person car for autopia with max and sit through an entire ride, one-on-one with him.

it was all going so unbelievably great. you didn't have to think about the impending doom you would inevitably cause on you and your best friend's relationship by loving him romantically when you were surrounded by absolute menaces and comedians of other friends. chase would be screaming and grasping onto you on even the kiddy rides and noah always had a good joke up his sleeve.

and then, as you left the group momentarily and were checking out for a bottle of water, a familiar face popped up beside you, smiling bashfully. "go on autopia with me?" max asked, and as you stared bewildered up at him, your eyes slid to where you could've sworn the group was, just to see them already advancing away upon ethan's command, who was herding them further like some shepherd to his sheep.

you had nowhere to run now. looking back up at max, into his hopeful, brown eyes shadowed against the blare of the sun at his back, you swallowed thickly and smiled forcefully, practically squeezing the bottle in your hands to oblivion. "duh..."

and that was how you ended up in a tiny faux car with the one person you really needed to be away from, but at the same time, wanted to be infinitely closer to. to say it was awkward was to say the absolute least.

you kept your eyes everywhere but him knowing simultaneously that his eyes were only on you, as if begging you to look at him. as the car rolled through the park, you kept yourself as far and still from him as possible. he couldn't help but notice it painfully.

"we never pushed the beds together last night," he hummed at some point, desperately trying to form some semblance of conversation.

you simply shrugged, body scrunched small as if to disappear. "you came back late."

that conversation ended there.

silence. then, near the middle of the ride, "when does your vacation end?"

"september."

"oh. we'll need to hang out alone by then. it's nice with a group, but i prefer this more."

oh my god.

"ye— a," you choked out, your voice cracking. he needed to shut up. stop talking. or either you'd climb your way out of that car or spill all the details of your little crush to him.

you refused to talk for the rest of the ride. and so it was silent. maybe he brought up the weather or the scenery once or twice, but you barely noticed, looking straight ahead.

as soon as the ride came to a stop, you clambered out and began desperately looking around the park for the group, squinting against the setting sun and not looking to see what max was doing. he joined your side.

"i don't see them. maybe we can continue by ourselves..."

"no!" you whipped your head to him quickly, blurting out the word. visibly, max flinched away at the sudden brutality with which you rejected his simple request to be closer to you. he looked heartbroken, like you were crushing his soul. "uh..." you relaxed, "i meant... it's already late. we should just meet up with them and see what they're planning."

"yea. okay." max cast his eyes on the floor and awkwardly rubbed at the nape of his neck as you pulled out your phone and called plenty, wandering ways away and talking over the plan. he simply watched, not wanting anymore to burden you with his attention if you really hated it as much as you were making it seem. he stared dejectedly at you, completely ready to go home too and never have to face the embarrassment and sadness he was at that moment.

when you came back, shoving your phone into your back pocket again, you told him the boys were going on one or a few more rides before leaving and that it was up to him what he wanted to do.

"mm. i'm just gonna go home. i'm tired."

"okay. i'm meeting up with them now but plenty's leaving too so you might wanna find him at the parking lot," you backed away leisurely, gripping the water bottle in your sweaty hands and visibly more relaxed the further you got. "bye, max."

—

"alright. what happened."

ethan threw open the door to the driver's seat and plopped in, shutting it behind him and looking expectantly at max who had been waiting for him inside. plenty looked ecstatic to have gotten you and max alone even for just a short ride, ready to hear all the amazing details at his fingertips. but his face immediately dropped when his friend looked up at him with a look of pure distress.

"oh."

"ethan, i don't know," max began, his voice laced with worry and his eyes fighting back tears. "i just— she just— i can't— it's like... she hates me or something. last year... last summer..." he looked down at his fidgety hands, his voice cracking. "everything was normal. we hadn't talked in a while while she was at college, and i was excited to bond again. now..."

ethan stared worriedly at max, not knowing whether to be shocked or disappointed. he was a mix of both, staring at his best friend, who he rarely saw even frown, now sitting there, fighting back tears. max never had to tell plenty about how much he loved you. it had always been unspoken knowledge. he knew max too well to let his feelings go under the radar, and so he'd always known exactly how badly and how long he had loved you. and it was bad. and it was long.

"shit..." he looked at the parking lot ahead, thinking. max shook his head, staring out the window and biting his cheek.

"i don't know what to do, ethan."

—

things continued like that for the rest of the week. no, moreover, they only got worse. max was giving up slowly but steadily. your relationship was cracking under the pressure of your awkward and solitary conduct. he couldn't bear it.

you would beeline out of any room max was in alone. you'd absolutely avoid any semblance of conversation, and only 3 times since that first day had you actually looked him directly in the eye. it was impossible to go unnoticed by anyone in the group. what had once been inseparability between the two of you lay nothing but absolute vacancy now, and everyone saw it. it was a topic not of discussion but silent acknowledgement.

on the last night, as you packed your bag to leave in the morning and the rest of the boys did their own thing, either asleep or in their rooms, you decided to take one last swim in the saltwater pool on the deck. you'd only used it once before but felt strangely like if you didn't go, you'd miss out on something big. max was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and you doubted he'd worry where you went with the way things were going for the two of you. and so you climbed into your bathing suit and slipped into the hallway wordlessly. the house was at rest but you could still hear voices. towel in hand, you crept to the back door in the kitchen and slid it open, stepping onto the concrete warmed by the summer air.

smiling to yourself, you crossed to where the water was, illuminated by the lights below and the blue color reflecting off the surface and tinging your face with azure. steam was rising in that pretty way it liked to do on warm nights. you dropped your towel by the edge and dipped your feet into the water before sliding into the deep end. you allowed the water to close over your head and sank below the surface, relishing in the warmth and staying there for a moment before coming back up for air.

cicadas chirped in the bushes and the night was slow and beautiful. you couldn't see the stars over the city lights but as you went to float on your back, you imagined they were floating planets in the sky, growing closer and closer. wanting nothing more than to relish this moment before you'd have to leave and climb into bed, you did aimless laps and thought. after this trip, it was extremely likely max and you would not talk until next year. you didn't know whether to feel relieved or upset about that fact. a whole year away from him would surely do well in easing away your feelings for him, and then, come next summer, things would go back to normal. but as your arms flowed with the water to push you from wall to wall of the pool, the night closing over your head, you couldn't help but wonder if that was what you actually wanted.

you must've stayed there for about 20 minutes, swimming back and forth, occasionally counting your laps. but even as you grew tired of the water and your fingers pruned and your eyes burned and you wanted a warm bed to lie in, you felt you couldn't leave. the night was keeping you there in waiting for something.

so, you pulled yourself over the edge and on the concrete, water splashing around you and your legs still dangling in the pool. now, you could catch a break but still enjoy the solitude of the night. you wrung out your hair and pushed it from your eyes, then letting your head fall back and your arms support your reclining body, soaking in the moonlight.

no, you couldn't leave just yet.

abruptly, squeaking sounded behind you. you angled your head to the back of you, met with the back door sliding open to let someone out. to let max out. your heart jolted. there he was, in a big t-shirt and pajama shorts, looking at you with big, antsy brown eyes and seeming almost hesitant to step outside.

"max...?" you voiced just loud enough for him to hear, sweating and nervous. he stepped out and crossed the concrete over to where you sat, something like anxiety in his step as he stopped beside you and sat.

"couldn't sleep?" he asked, letting his feet dangle like yours, his eyes on the water, his face bathed in blue light.

"i just thought i'd go for one last swim before we leave," you responded, an anxious tremor in your hand that you fought still by squeezing the edge of the pool. he was sitting almost shoulder-to-shoulder. "what about you? why are you awake?"

"oh," his eyes briefly met yours before slanting quickly away. "i saw you weren't in bed and thought i'd come look for you," was his response, his tone steady, his brows knit.

you made a light hum in answer. you thought to speak again before silence befell you two and made things awkward, but after a brief pause, he spoke first.

"i'm gonna miss this."

"we'll be back next summer," you reminded him, his pensive coolness making you antsy for different reasons than you'd been antsy over before.

max's face turned to yours and a knowing look glazed over his eyes. he stared as if to say, "i mean this. you", and once you'd caught on, you inhaled a shaky breath and cast your eyes quickly away.

"we'll see each other," you replied, biting the inside of your cheek.

he was uncharacteristically unreadable. especially uncharacteristically for his best friend who always knew what he was thinking just by the countenance he took up. you guessed either anxious, or thinking. you couldn't look him in the eye long enough to make a determined answer. something felt different about the conversation. it wasn't like the stupidly awkward ones you kept having the entire week. unfunny jokes, forced smiles, blurted words. it was.. knowing. knowing of what? you were unsure. but almost like your pages were flipping so that they could match up. almost like you were meeting in the middle.

you were holding out for next summer. maybe your feelings had ruined things that one, but a whole year apart from him and everything would go back to being how it was. you were relying on that. and sure, he couldn't know why you were being how you were being, but you wouldn't have to tell him when next summer, all your problems would fix themselves.

your friendship didn't have to end just because of one bad summer, right? and when you looked at him, his thinking eyes turned away from you, his slackened body, his worried face, you trusted that you were doing what was best for both of you if you truly wanted to keep that friendship. soon he'd understand.

and though it wrenched your heart straight out of your chest, though it hurt you in more ways than one, it had to happen.

and so you were decidedly going to make it happen. turning to him, your mouth opened to begin a quick dismissal and to say that you were going to get ready for bed, but he spoke faster.

"i love you, y/n."

looking wistfully out on the water, his hands in his lap, he said it in such a way that made it seem more like giving up. not like some burst of energy or secret, but like he was letting his guard drop. like he was the king of a castle being raided, sitting on his throne and accepting his defeat. like his tongue was finally yielding its secrets with one last sigh.

your mouth remained open. not to give some cheap dismissal, but in pure. shock.

what? had he just said what you thought he did?

he said it in so wistful a tone, it was no big surprise that you questioned him having said it at all. max did not even await your answer, like he wasn't even expecting one at all. "and i have. and i will." his pensive, sunken eyes slid to meet your own, bewildered ones. "and i need to know. before i give up entirely. before i deny my feelings any longer. before i force them away, if there is some chance—some semblance of a chance, that you could love me back."

no response. your heart was beating out of your chest, cheeks barren and pale, eyes wide in pure shock. you could catch flies with how far open your mouth was. "max, what are you saying," you breathed out in a whisper.

"i'm saying," his eyes fell to your lips momentarily. he needed you. "i'm saying— if you don't love me... if you want only a friend out of me— if you really want it, i will stop loving you. right here. right now. i will give it all up. i will get up, go to bed, and never bring up this conversation again. for you," max affirmed, like the words hurt him, but you were on the line.

"but..." he continued, head tilting, eyes again on your soft lips, cracked open. you didn't know how to feel. your head was spinning. "if you do love me. if you can find it in yourself to, then i have to tell you: i have loved you ever since high school, y/n, when you sat with me in the bathroom and showed me all your friendship bracelets whenever i got upset. i love your laugh. your smile, the way your eyes glint when you giggle. i love the sound of your voice, especially when it says my name— i love the way your hands cover your stomach when you're upset. i love how you put your hair up whenever you do something you know will stress you out. i love your eyes and their way of lighting up when something you enjoy is brought up. i love your silly jokes and your awkward humor, your knock knees you hate so much, your scars and callouses.. i love you. infinitely. and it has to be said. and i wish i had said it sooner before everything went bad on this trip— and—" he was babbling, aimlessly professing all the syllables left unpronounced, all the words left unsaid, all the secrets left unspoken. "and if you— if there are— if you love me.... well— but if you don't... love me..."

he was leaning in. your head was spinning. his eyes would not tear from your lips. you couldn't breathe if not for the air blowing out from his mouth, fanning across your face, creeping through your teeth and down your throat. close enough to smell him. "i will let go. say the word, and i will stop..." he might've said more. he most definitely was going to.

"max," you breathed.

he quieted instantly, like you were the only prayer his lips could shape. his big brown eyes looked despairingly at you, brows upturned, awaiting your answer. you sat there beside him. the initial surprise had worn off, and all that was left was wordless hope. overwhelming, all-consuming want. "please. kiss me," you whispered, unsure your mouth knew any other word or phrase to pronounce in that there moment. unsure you even wanted to say anything else.

the swallows received you in a messy haze of lips against lips, teeth against teeth. max, without another word or thought, reached with broad hands to either side of your jaw and pulled you into his awaiting kiss. kissing him was warm and soft, slow and sweet. like pulp from an orange, honey from a comb. like something you hadn't known you needed until you got it. kissing max was experiencing every emotion all at once, a kaleidoscope of feeling at your fingertips, unveiling as lips slid against lips and teeth clashed.

you didn't want to pull away. you couldn't. your hands traveled to his tufts of brown hair, tangling in those locks, his skin thrumming beneath you, hot and humid. a noise left your throat that reverberated through your conjoined lips and had max kissing you deeper, faster. this. he needed this. and you could immediately tell when the mood shifted from slow and sensual to hot and bothered.

a lot happened that night. and none of it consisted of awkward jokes and forced laughs. flashes of max's broad hands around your waist, hauling you around his hips as he walked back into the house and stumbled into your shared room. pictures of his body over yours, his shirt pulled off, his hair tussled, his love-struck eyes hungrily eyeing you up and down. memories of his soft grunts breathed into the wet skin of your collarbone as he moved in and out of you. all so acutely rendered into perfection in the labyrinths of your mind. his eyes as he grew closer, his kisses sloppy, needy. everything you never let yourself imagine when you thought of times like these.

you never pushed the beds together. you didn't need to when you were sleeping on his chest instead. no longer in those friendly manners you loved to do at sleepovers, but with his bare, sweaty body under yours, the knowledge passed between you that if the world ended tomorrow, it wouldn't matter as long as the sun rose upon your intertwined bodies.

and when the sun did rise upon them, and you were forced out of your shared secret and into reality, max and you begrudgingly had to untangle yourselves. it was no longer awkward though. as you two dressed, only silent knowledge and whispers of kisses passed between you. the rest couldn't know about your little endeavors last night. and you two were discreet about it most definitely. as you stumbled out of the room, you made sure not to limp as much as your sore limbs entailed, to keep that same awkward distance you had all those days before, and never look max too long in the eyes.

and none of the boys caught on. not at breakfast, in the car, or on the ride home. none even questioned it, when your behavior was almost exactly as it had been before, and you seemed just as unwilling to be alone with max.

only one person saw through that act.

only ethan saw the way a smile teetered on your lips as your eyes caught max's. only ethan saw how max's gaze fell a moment too long on your dressed body as if he was seeing right through all those clothes again. only ethan noted the way your cheeks flushed when max passed a joke over to where you sat in the passenger seat of his car.

noah caught him watching the two of you from his place next to him in the backseat. "man. i wonder what happened between them," he spoke, his gaze now on you too. the car was on the road home and the silent buzz of wheels against concrete below filled in for the silences, as well as muffled giggles coming from the upper seats. he looked with dismissive worry, curiosity, but all ethan could do was smile and shake his head.

"oh, i do too."

—

taglist ..

@umeluvr , @princessseaajellie , @jiqsaww

#—𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚

.. a/n -

so... it's finally here gang.... i genuinely hope ya'll like it because i know a lot of you guys were waiting for it 🙈🙏🏻 ik ik it's crazy long but i warned you guys 💀 anyways i'm back on my grind and posting trust 🙈 @riverroadzz

#katiasworks #katiawrites #3fs #3fs fanart #3fs x reader #max 3fs #gilbert blythe #hayden christensen #masterlist #billy joel #plenty #plenty x reader #fashion #nyc #80s #poetry

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