witriafrilian

[witriafrilian]

I've been living far away from home for 2 years and 4 months, I can't remember how many kilometres I've been going through, I am tired, hopeless, and mad but I don't for what and for who.

Now I keep trying to accept the condition but the denial is always bigger that the acceptance

The distance hits almost everything. My body, my life and my mental.

I have a backbone illness, I can't sit on the floor for a long time and I can't stand for a long time. I have a very bad headache, when it comes, I feel like my head is gonna be exploded.

And my life, I feel that I am not being anywhere. When I am at my rented house, I always miss my own home, when I am at my home, I don't remember anymore the position of the goods, the habits and the system. Very bad situation

My mental, I can't express my feelings now to anyone. It will make them feeling annoyed cause of my story

I just can't stand it anymore

[witriafrilian]

I proudly present him to be post on my blog, my BFF Qomarul Iqfal ❤️

[witriafrilian]

Baru nyadar kalau selama ini benar2 polos, anggap semua orang baik tanpa ada maksud tertentu, anggap semua orang tulus tanpa ada maunya, well ga pernah terlintas kalo ada udang dibalik batu, musuh dalam selimut, dan menggunting dalam lipatan wkwkwkwk

Nyadarnya pas beberapa waktu ini ternyata dunia ga se-polos itu...

Ga ada yang namanya tempat untuk cerita yg aman, ga ada yang namanya tempat minta tolong yang benar2 ikhlas, ga ada yang namanya lingkungan yg nyaman dan sehat, seenggaknya itu yg aku temuin...

Do i lost my faith on others?

Yes, I do

No one I could trust...

[witriafrilian]

There are a lot things those i wanna write, but I just don't have gopd words to write

[witriafrilian]

Who can I trust? I don't have anyone yo trust anymore I guess

[witriafrilian]

Salah tanggap...

Ga semua ikhlas bantuin wit,ga semua suka dimintain tolong

Iya sih iya tapi dalam hati pasti sebel,pasti kesel...

Kenapa baru tau nya sekarang sih Wit?

Untung ada moment orang2 itu keceplosan bilang ga suka dimintain tolong, well antara keceplosan atau emang sengaja bilang...

Untung cepat tanggap sama maksud mereka

Sayangnya kurang beruntung karna anggap semua orang baik he he he...

[witriafrilian]

Ini ntah malam keberapa di sepanjang 25 tahun ku...

Ini ntah total kilometer keberapa di sepanjang 25 tahunku....

Ini ntah patah hati keberapa di sepanjang 25 tahunku...

Dan ini ntah cerita yang keberapa di sepanjang 25 tahunku, tentang perasaanku...

Pada akhirnya semua memang harus terpisah, entah dengan orang-orang dalam hidupku atau dengan memori-memori yang terukir dalam benakku...

Pertanyaan 'sampai kapan' atau 'kapan' sudah terasa sangat usang, aku lelah mencari dan menunggu jawaban...

Diatas bumi yang ku pijak, di mana kekuatan dibalik tirai masih marak dan wajar, kemungkinan jawaban yang kuinginkan untuk datang akan sangat sulit terjadi...

Aku lelah, bolehkah?

Aku iri, bolehkah?

Aku ingin kembali, bisa kah?

[witriafrilian]

July 10th 2021

I guess life esp mine is sooo funny. Mom already known about my relationship with Q and she softly disagree with us because we work at the same bank...

Mommy wants me to work. I understand her so Q does. But I already fall in love with him...

In the beginning I want to hide this relationship from some people include mommy but I'm already 25 y-o, that's not my stage anymore...

Wish everything good comes to us Q...

[witriafrilian]

July, 5th 2021

Time flies... No,it runs, very fast...

I already worked for almost 3 months at Bank Jambi and now I've a boyfriend, Qomarul Iqfal

Everything happens so fast, include Qomar. We're friend but at June, 12th everything wasn't same anymore...

He confessed and now we have a reltionship. Sadly, he moved to Kerinci from Bangko...

He's my senior at office, he's kind, nice, and soft...

I don't know how to arrange words to describing this life's stage of mine...

Shortly, he falls in love with me and I start to feel the same...

[witriafrilian]

Hi, middle of September...

Hi to a new chapter in my life

Goodbye for the old one

Hi, Mr. Q

Goodbye Lam...

Sorry for not writing for a long periode

Classic issue, busy

I passed so many things in these months, move to a new part of job and move back

Tortured and down

And Stressed

I'll tell you one by one...

[witriafrilian]

Rezeki cukup ga cukup tu tergantung perspektif kita masing2 lah... Ga mungkiri kok kita tu butuh duit untuk hidup, cuma "harus sekian" tu sampe kapan sih? Ga munafik lah siapa yang ga mau punya banyak duit, bisa beli ini itu dgn gampang, cuma kalau dikasih sekian yo udah, yg penting makan nasi ga minta2 sama orang lain, lauk ga mesti daging, telur udah cukup, konsep nya kan halalan thayyiban, mengenyangkan dan menyehatkan. Ga mesti harus gonta ganti tas, sepatu, asal ga nyeker dah alhamdulillah, ga penting punya Pajero Sport, punya honda beat aja udah harus bersyukur, yang lain masih jalan kali bahkan ada yang ga dikasih Alloh nikmat make kaki masih bisa lah hidup dengan baik. Sekarang tu balik ke iman dan cara mandang hidup aja lah... Susah! Emang! Namanya juga hidup, gamau susah mati aja, selesai urusan dunia, itupun masih ditunggu urusan alam kubur sama akhirat.

[witriafrilian]

Home... The place where I love to live in then... I dunno why now I am afraid for going back to my home after I went out. Just like this moment, I went to GOR to do jogging and after arrived home, I become so worried.

I am afraid of losing it, people in it, everything in it while I feel that I am lonely...

I am afraid of facing my future life without any friend who I can share everything with, is it called quarter-life crisis?

Could be...

And now the birds are whispering to my ears and the wind is touching my skin, they told me to keep moving up and going on but they don't tell me how...

And they don't give me a certainty of my worried...

I am really worried now

I really am...

[witriafrilian]

[witriafrilian]

I miss you so bad Dok but I don't have any power to tell it to you...

[witriafrilian]

Ini lirik lagu Everything I need dari Skylar Grey, ost nya Aquaman...

[witriafrilian]

Jadi malam ini baby boy ku tersayang mulai bobok bareng aku due to his mom's job yang udah mulai shift malam... Rada ngeri sedap juga kalau ni anak rewel malam karna suasana baru, siapa tau kan karna ga biasa tidur malam bareng Manin jadi rewel...

Terus pas ngeliat dia udah tidur gini, Manin nya jadi melankolis dong, tetiba sedih gitu kalau liat anak2 yang ibu nya harus kerja terus bagi waktu antara anak sama kerjaan. Ga ada yang salah bagiku untuk seorang ibu kerja, cuma tetap aja iba :( Aku juga jadi ngebayangin berarti dulu aku ngalamin hal yang sama dong kayak Azka... Nambah sedih 😅

Yaudahlah ya Ka moga2 hidup kita ni barokah sama di ridhoi Allah, sedih bentar ga apa2 yang penting tetap bersyukur :D