wizard-billy - Tumblr blog

[wizard-billy]

like mother like son

[wizard-billy]

There's a high pitched ringing sound in the background after Neil hits Billy. It slowly builds until you can fully hear it when he says "Isn't that right?" and without the background music it is fully audible as if its what Billy is actually hearing after being hit in the face...

[wizard-billy]

This is my first and probably last post I will ever make. I’m here to consume the content, not necessarily create it.

I see all of you fighting the good fight for Billy and his story. And I wanted to add my thoughts into the ring.

As someone who works with children and adults from abusive backgrounds EVERY SINGLE DAY. I can tell you that Billy checks every single box for being in his survival state 24/7.

I have had extensive trainings about trauma, how to recognize it and the effects it can have on a person and how they act. Personally I have endured a lot of trauma myself and had to unlearn a lot of unhealthy behaviors and ways of thinking because of it.

With that being said: someone who is in a state of survival constantly is not capable of thinking rationally, the only goal is to…survive.

Billy Hargrove was an abused child. A CHILD. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Does this forgive his actions? No. But it explains them. Gives us a deeper insight into the “why?”

Neil hit his son, he insulted him, called him a slur and then reminded him that Max, his younger stepsister’s well-being is in his hands. That’s a lot for a 17 year old to go through. Then he goes to the Byers residence where he’s insulted and lied to. His sister (who’s well-being is in his hands) is alone with 5 boys, one of them is his age? THEN to top it all off, Steve punches him? All that built up rage from what just happened with Neil comes spilling out. Oh and to make matters worse, he gets sedated and Max MIRRORS Neil’s abuse by making him repeat himself. Keep this in mind, while all this is going on Billy has absolutely no idea what is going on. He still doesn’t know what Max is doing with all of these boys in this house.

Moving forward- Billy gets possessed by the mind flayer, he still has no idea what is going on and loses control of his own body. He had to watch as his hands take the lives of many people to feed this creature from his worst nightmares. Then this group of children lock him in a sauna, he is FINALLY able to beg for help and sobs. Even then NOBODY tells him what’s going on, no one really makes an effort to help him. It’s only in the final episode of season 3 that El breaks through to him, she see’s his past, his mom leaving, the abuse. Even standing up to the mind flayer Billy has no idea what he’s up against, he’s still in the dark. All he knows is that it’s him or this child that showed him how to come back to himself. It’s him or Max, and as we already know Max’s well-being is in his hands. Nothing is more terrifying than Neil’s wrath. And in his dying breath he apologizes.

For my fellow Billy Stans- Please never let anyone bully you about what characters you can and can’t like. Your ability to see deeper into the characters and push past the hate is needed in this world. Not just in fiction, but in the real world. If you relate to Billy as I do, from past trauma, I am so sorry. I am so very sorry that you have to fight, explain and rationalize your love for him every time. For whatever reason you stand behind Billy Hargrove, it is valid. And unlike Billy’s story, I hope that yours doesn’t end in tragedy. My inbox is always open for those who need to talk.

Now, for the Antis- I want to say, good for you. You managed to take a broken and deeply complex character and reduce him to a heartless villain in your minds. Think what you want about him, it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is how you act to the people who do relate to Billy. The name calling, the hate, the wild assumptions about real people!! It’s so insane to me. I hope that turning into the bully to make a point was worth it. How other people relate to a character doesn’t affect you in any way at all. Somehow many of you have managed to put people down and make them afraid to express their love for a character. It’s not something to be proud of.

I am not willing to argue with anyone on this, this is just my views and my opinion. Dacre Montgomery stated that he worked hard to humanize Billy Hargrove. Seeing his character be dragged through the mud and continuously be turned into the irredeemable monster by the Duffer Brothers and the fans is just really sad.

Billy Hargrove means a lot to me. For a lot of different reasons. He deserved so much more than he was given. He deserved a chance to redeem himself and to tell his side of the story. He deserved a chance to apologize for everything he did in his survival state. He deserved the chance to finally be happy and be surrounded by people who actually cared for him, who wanted to help him.

Just keep going everyone. ❤️

[wizard-billy]

Billy has a snake named josh

[wizard-billy]

Im really fucked up about billy right now

[wizard-billy]

on billy hargrove and fandom hypocrisy

[wizard-billy]

Steve was 57 when he decided to face his fears and start using his local library.

It was embarrassing to admit but Steve had the reading age of roughly a third grader and the writing and spelling age of a child even younger. He’d spent decades of his life stuck in minimum wage jobs, when he could get jobs at all, and anonymously selling his paintings on the side. Most of his friends had left him behind in the dust and life was getting very, very lonely.

In 2013, when Steve was 47, he finally got the answer to why his brain just couldn’t seem to read or write. Steve Harrington was dyslexic. On the severe end of the spectrum. The diagnosis opened a lot of doors for him mentally, but Steve still had no qualifications, apart from a barely scraped high school diploma, so his life didn’t change that much.

Robin took him to the library on his 57th birthday, as a first step of challenging his fears, something he’d been working on with his therapist. It was a warm, cozy building, full of armchairs covered in cushions, art supplies and walls upon walls of books. He took a deep breath and made his way over to the kids section, trying to find a nice easy read.

The librarian stationed at the kids section was something else. He was the kind of guy that Steve might try to pick up at a bar, strong arms and beer belly (obviously a rugby player by the looks of it) with the most gorgeous silvery blond curls. There was also a progress pride pin on his denim jacket. Fuck.

Explaining to the hot librarian that no he wasn’t looking for a book for his kids, he was looking for a book for him, was one of the most mortifying experiences Steve had ever had to go through. Hot librarian (Steve thought his name tag said Billy?) didn’t make it any easier by being so kind and understanding about it, gently pointing him over to the section for 9 to 12 year olds.

Steve decided to borrow the first book of the Percy Jackson series, and also a couple of 80s movies to appease his inner teenager. Billy let Steve scan and stamp the book himself before sending him off with the message that if Steve ever needed support with his reading, Billy was in the library Monday’s, Tuesday’s and Friday’s.

Billy was true to his word, because when Steve returned to the library the next week to get the next book in the series, he immediately jogged over to Steve to give him more book recommendations. The library still felt a bit like a jungle but Billy had handed him a rope to grab ahold of.

There was actually a dyslexia support group that Billy ran on Tuesday evenings, with his 21 year old daughter. Steve had been exceedingly hesitant about signing up but Billy poked and prodded at him, until he finally picked up a pen and added his name to the list.

Sophie was pretty intense. She read at the speed of light, cursed a lot, and engaged them in some of the most hazardous ice breakers Steve had ever witnessed. Looking at the amused smirk on Billy’s face, Steve suspected she was a carbon copy of Billy’s personality as a college student. Still, she was fun and for some reason spent a lot of her time talking to Steve.

Steve started visiting the library three times a week at least. He’d not only joined the dyslexia support group as a regular member, but also the group for queer adults, which Billy was also involved with. It was the most social Steve had been, probably since high school, possibly even more so.

He also felt like, for the first time in over 50 years, like he was really making progress with his reading. The words still jumbled up on the page and he still couldn’t spell to save his life, but with Billy’s help, it was beginning to become one of his favourite hobbies, alongside his paintings.

Steve still wasn’t great at social cues, so he couldn’t tell if they were getting closer or not, but it definitely felt like Billy was spending significantly more time with him. They’d even started going to Billy’s place for Steve to finally tackle Lord of The Rings. Billy would gently mutter praise as Steve stumbled through a sentence and then grab them a couple sodas from the fridge, since Steve had been sober for 20 years.

Sometimes, Billy would look over Steve and gently brush his hair out of his face or poke at his cheeks lightly with a finger. Steve tried not to assume anything from it. Just because they were both queer men in their mid fifties, it didn’t meant that Billy automatically wanted to date him. Billy could do far, far better than Steve anyway.

The library was hosting a queer prom and Steve had just finished his first book aimed at adults. Sophie managed to rope him in as one of the helpers, citing that teenagers always seemed to like Steve and his non authoritarian attitude. He agreed for her, the kids and Billy.

The kids loved it. The library had really gone all out with the drinks and the stage and the music. Billy even dressed in a tux, despite his deep seated hatred for all formal wear. They got through fast dances and slow dances without even the tiniest bit of teen bickering.

Then Sophie loudly announced the last song of the night, one that apparently was for the adult helpers. Billy stared at Steve. Steve stared at Billy. A thousand words seemed to pass between them.

Billy pulled Steve onto the floor. The strains of Careless Whisper blasted through the hall, which he’d embarrassingly admitted to Billy was his favourite song. Steve had never felt more like a teenager in the body of an old man in that moment. He was just thankful that he was a halfway decent dancer and hadn’t made a dick out of himself

By the end of the song, Steve could practically feel Billy’s breath ticking his neck. He could count 110 freckles scattering Billy’s nose and cheeks. And he could hear the audible gulp before Billy licked his lips and leaned in.

Steve wasn’t smart by anyones definition but he knew the way Billy kissed him, he wasn’t getting rid of Steve for a long, long time.

@dragonflylady77 just a lil ficlet because I thought you might need something positive rn

Also thought @shieldofiron @adelacreations @hargrove-mayfields @ratbastardbilly might enjoy this

[wizard-billy]

You cant start this and not finish

God okay on the lines of that post about Billy not needing to forgive the others of shit, just. Maybe Steve gets angry at him, one night. Max asked for a ride to a meeting, Billy drives her there in the shitty, clapped out little Ford he bought with his Government hush money, and the kids have done yet another half-assed staged apology thing that puts Billy on the spot to forgive them and Billy's not having any of it, and Steve comes out with this little eruption of frustration. Some kind of for fuck's sake, Billy, we didn't have to forgive you but we did stop being difficult and Billy just.

"You didn't think of any other possibility other than me dying."

Blank faced, flat voiced. Catches Steve off guard because he's so used to Billy meeting fire with fire that this feels like a big old bucket of ice water.

"What?"

"You didn't," Billy repeats slowly. "Ever. Even consider trying to save me."

"You didn't want to. You didn't want me to be saved. Me getting possessed just happened to work out for you. You didn't once stop and wonder if you could kill it without killing me. Kinda makes you wonder if that thing was the only monster in the room, huh?"

Walks out the door. Max'll be fine, Harrington's there, he'll drive her home. Doesn't look back.

“me getting possessed happened to work out for you.” “KINDA MAKES YOU WONDER IF THAT THING WAS THE ONLY MONSTER IN THE ROOM”

[wizard-billy]

"I hate this character because they did something harmful to a marginalized character I love"

Acceptable. You don't have to like characters, especially if they remind you of your own traumatic experiences, though it's important to realize that liking a character doesn't mean defending or supporting everything they said or did.

"So, I will laugh at them being abused by their parent. Say or suggest they deserve it. Fantasize about killing them over and over. Make harmful assumptions about fans of this character. Harass and mock marginalized people who are fans of this character, and participate in a fandom culture that normalizes violence towards "bad" abuse survivors."

Not acceptable. You are celebrating violence when it's towards people you think deserve it. This is a punitive and carceral mindset that actively harms marginalized people. You need to reevaluate how you treat real people in fandom and the experiences they relate to in the characters you hate.

What's not clicking for you?

[wizard-billy]

Soft

(CW for body image issues, disordered eating)

Billy's getting soft, and Eddie doesn't draw attention to it at first, because he wants to enjoy it as long as he can.

The last thing he wants is for Billy to relapse into overdoing his exercises, his weight lifting, counting calories, protein, and carbs.

Billy hasn't measured out his portions in almost six months. He hasn't stared at the nutrition facts panel on a box for over five minutes in almost five months. He hasn't lifted weights and exercised to the point of exhaustion in almost a year.

He indulges in dessert at least once a week, and he doesn't look around the room as if expecting danger. He has a beer and takes his time to enjoy it. He shares more joints with Eddie, and doesn't fight the munchies when they come.

Last week, he shared a plate of chili cheese fries and a greasy, oversized burger with Eddie- he even had a Coke with it.

He still goes for runs, or swims laps, but instead of them being daily occurrences, he does them when he has time, because he's slowly replacing over exertion with hobbies he never allowed himself to enjoy.

Eddie comes home from his shift with Gary to find Billy sitting on the bed, hair pulled up in a sloppy bun, chewing on a pen, surrounded by books and notebooks.

Edgar Allen Poe. Mary Shelley. Oscar Wilde. William Blake. Bram Stoker.

He's comparing them, writing notes in his small, neat, precise handwriting. He also has a large book of Blake's watercolors open on "Book of Urizen- the creation of Urizen in material form by Los, 1794."

Eddie's never been much a literary nerd- he prefers to write and create his own works, rather than read what was written a long time ago. Still, he knows about Blake, and how the religious themes are important to Billy, because he's been struggling with them due to his upbringing.

Eddie's happy to see him fully investing his time and attention to something he enjoys- and is clearly absorbed by.

But what really has him smiling, is how Billy's stomach now has two gentle rolls to it as he leans forward to look at a page before taking another note. How he has the start of love handles visible from the waistband of his shorts digging into his hips.

Physically, Billy is getting soft, while sharpening his wits, and Eddie has never been more attracted him than he has been in that moment, seeing his softness paired with his hungry mind, proof that Billy isn't ignoring any of his appetites anymore.

Eddie comes into the room and sits on the edge of the bed, pulling off his boots. Billy looks up and smiles, the expression lighting up his face.

"Didn't hear you come in."

"Didn't want to interrupt," Eddie replies, leaning over to plant a kiss on Billy's cheek. "You look like you're in the middle of something."

"Really into the Book of Urizen right now. Something about the conflict between him and Los makes me think of how I had to deal with Neil."

Eddie lifts a brow.

"How so?"

"Urizen wields nets, with which he ensnares people in webs of law and conventional society," Billy says, reading from his notes. "While Los, his counterpart, is an aspect of art and imagination, and in their struggle to control the world, Los and Urizen fall and bind each other in human forms."

Eddie frowns.

"I don't get it."

"Their downfall was that they wouldn't stop fighting, and it warped their purpose. I've been fighting Neil so long, I lost sight of who I am, and what I want, even how I feel about my body. I was bound in a human form Neil forced me to take, and my fear of him... made me keep it that way."

"Not recently," Eddie says gently, kissing Billy's shoulder. "And I've never seen you happier."

"I've never been happier," Billy agrees, then frowns.

"I struggled with it for a while, you know."

Eddie nods, but says nothing. He knows Billy well enough that the silence isn't the end of his train of thought- it's the calm before the storm of words that he needs to get out.

"I was worried I'd get bad again. Over doing it, going back to constant working out, skipping meals, or only eating protein. I was worried that I'd need to be that same person in high school, the same build, even though he's not a threat anymore. He's far away, out of my life, but he still has a hold on me."

Eddie leans against Billy, providing silent, solid support as Billy continues.

"But I see how you look at me, Eddie," he says. "I saw when I took my shirt off yesterday, and how your eyes lit up. The way you smiled when we shared that really greasy meal."

He looks at Eddie meaningfully.

"I feel how your hands linger on my hips at night. I can feel your fingers run over my stomach when you think I'm asleep."

Eddie flushes.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Billy-" he begins, but Billy puts a finger to his lips.

"I'm not good with words. Never have been. Not with saying them, and definitely not with accepting them. If you told me you like how I look now, I wouldn't believe you."

His face lights up as he smiles again, the beginnings of crow's feet at the corners of his eyes wrinkling in contentment, and those tiny little lines take Eddie's breath away, knowing that his happiness is becoming such a regular thing that it's leaving its mark in his skin.

"The way you touch me when you think I'm asleep, or when you think I won't notice- I do, and it means more than any of your silly speeches. You don't blow it out of proportion, you don't draw attention to it."

Billy rests his head on Eddie's shoulder.

"You just love me, the way I am, and you never ask me to change, but you appreciate and encourage me in your own, unspoken way every time I make changes for the better, and it keeps me from going back, from second-guessing those changes."

"Because I love you, and I want you to be happy and healthy, babe," Eddie says, reaching up and pushing a lock of hair behind Billy's ear.

"And I know I haven't said it until now, but Billy... I love seeing you soft and content."

Billy laughs, looking at his notes.

"Kind of arrogant to compare myself to a mythical figure," he says, but there's no self-derision in his voice, only amusement.

Eddie grins.

"I'll have you know, Dionysus is one of my favorite mythical figures, and everyone agrees- that god knew how to party, was a symbol of fertility, just an overall rock star."

Eddie lifts a brow.

"And in most of the statues and art of him? He's built just like you- sometimes, even with man tits."

Billy laughs, flushing a bit.

"Are you saying I've got a godly figure?"

"Not just saying it- I'm stating it as fact."

Billy smiles, and closes his notebook, stacking his books up and putting them on the nightstand along with his pen. He pulls Eddie to him, and grins wickedly.

"Well then, Eddie," he breathes. "Worship at the altar of my body."

Eddie can't get either of their clothes off fast enough.

[wizard-billy]

Perhaps this is an unpopular opinion, (it would certainly seem so by how many posts I see with him put aside barb and co) but just because Billy has a tragic backstory doesn't negate the fact he is a villain. A racist, abusive VILLAIN.

That's not to say you can't like him, or sympathizing with him, but he is not in the same league of Barb, Bob, Alexi and Eddie. It put him in the same league as Papa.

[wizard-billy]

He bites too

Personal headcanon that Billy hugs less and head bonks more.

[wizard-billy]

LONG TIME NO TUMBLR;; Anyone still alive here? May start posting some backlog if so

Here's a Billy I drew today <3

[wizard-billy]

. Finished something old. Referenced from a screencap.

[wizard-billy]

Autistic harringrove who are SO heavily masking in public and just acting like these popular sports jocks who can totally make eye contact and the moment they get back into the house they’re having a conversation while staring at the wall, Billy’s tiptoe walking while heating up dino nuggets, Steve’s watching cartoons, both of them have “resting autistic face” and t rex arms and Steve’s vocal stimming that one car advert that’s always on

@hargrove-mayfields @shieldofiron @thatgirlwithasquid @suspiciouslackofclowns @dragonflylady77

[wizard-billy]

Billy fans need to unionize

no idea what this is in reference to but hell yeah brother

[wizard-billy]

FINALLY someone else sees the SA implications in Billy’s possession. Throughout the show, literally starting from his first scene, hes sexualized and objectified. He was violated and stripped of any autonomy he had over his body. And i think its particularly impactful because Billys body is one of the few things he has control over. Hes so often reduced to his body. His body is the one thing he gets any choice about, the one thing that makes him valuable to others, and that value & control was taken from him.

Are you stupid?

You can be racist and have POC friends, Jason is way worse than Billy any day. Jason isn't the one being abused by his father everyday, he isn't poor, he didn't get taken from his home and live with a step sibling that he didn't know that well.

Jason is a horrible person and got his friend to tackle Erica, then he held a gun at Lucas. You can't tell me that that isn't racist, you can't tell me that's worse than what Billy ever did. Jason said "I thought you were one of the good ones". That. Is. Racist.

Billy got his bad traits from his father. Billy got beat by his father. Billy was crying into the phone for his mom to come home. Billy had no support system. Steve was the only person that Billy bullied and tormented, and in my opinion, Steve is a worse character than Billy.

Steve threw slurs, while Billy got slurs thrown at him by his own father. Just because you don't care about abuse victims, doesn't mean you have to spread your hate.

I think that Billy just wanted Lucas to stop hanging around because if Neil found out, Billy would be the one getting beat. Neil would probably hurt Lucas way more than Billy could have ever done. Billy was protecting Max and himself, he was scared that Neil would find out. He did care and love Max, he just showed it in some confusing ways.

Also, the Duffer brothers are racist, they wanted Dacre to say the N word. Dacre protested and it ended up not happening. Billy saying the N word isn't canon, cause it didn't happen in the show. Stop always going to that excuse for him being a bad person. He never said any slur.

People say "if the actor wasn't hot, then people wouldn't have liked him" and I disagree. His character is very interesting. He has a backstory, he has trauma, he has an actual interesting plot unlike any other character. Dacre is also a very amazing actor, he was able to make Billy even more interesting.

Dacre has said that his art imitates his life. He put his own life into the character, he didn't have a great relationship with his dad, he has said this.

Max is a horrible person too, she drugged Billy with something that she didn't know was in, almost hit him with Steve's bat, screamed at him before leaving and stealing his car. Billy could have died on the floor, he was drugged and had no car. Tell me that that isn't abuse. Just because Billy grabbed her wrist ONE time, doesn't mean it's abuse.

Siblings fight all the time, it's just what happens. Especially how their family dynamics was. I and many others have fights with our siblings. You get over it in like a day. That doesn't make Billy a bad person. He did some really shitty things, yes. But that doesn't excuse all the hate he gets. He's a complex character, no other character is like him.

That's why he's my baby boy. I relate to him, I'm an abuse victim, I love knowing that I have a character to relate to. Stop blaming abuse victims on how they grew up, they can change. He could have changed if he didn't die. He could have, but nobody let him.

Nobody tried to help him. He didn't have a support system. The people who compare Jonathan to Billy are wild, cause Jonathan did have a support system, his mother did so much. Billy had nobody. His father beat him, hi stepmother did NOTHING to stop Neil, she just watched. She was clearly abused too, but she's the adult, she has to be there for Billy. She has to get Max away from all of this, which in season 4, she did. But she turned into an even worse mom.

Right here. He was trying to get help, he was trying to get the MF to get out. He wanted someone to help him. He kept fighting, and that's how he saved everyone on the day he died. He knew he was going to die, he was sobbing.

Try to think before talking bad against Billy.

Why do people say Vecna/Henry/Jason/Troy/James/Angela are better than Billy?

Vecna/Henry literally tried to kill children and the whole world. Billy wanted to have some fun and games, he would never go to prison for killing a child. He was never going to hit Mike, Lucas, Dustin, or Will.

Troy/James made Mike jump off of a fucking cliff while wanting to take Dustins teeth out. Tell me that isn't fucked. MIKE WOULD HAVE DIED IF EL WASN'T THERE!!

Jason held a fucking gun to Lucas's head and got Erica hurt. He sent a witch-hunt over Eddie and that ended up killing that poor boy. Literally, he was poor and Jason is a rich christian white boy. Tell me that isn't classist. Jason also did this to get information out of a kid.

Angela deserved the roller skate to the face for what she did to El. I would have done the same thing, El never deserved any of what she went through there.

Anyone going to object? Cause you can't, my points are spot on. Why aren't we gonna get mad at Jamie Campbell Bower over saying he relates to Vecna/Henry? If Dacre is bad for doing so, why can't we shame Jamie for the same thing?

I would count the MF taking over Billy like that as a reference of sexual assault. His body gets taken away from him, he is crying for help, he is scared and tried to tell someone. I've talked to SA survivors and they agree.

Anyway, I am pissed at Billy antis and I am just so done with them.